Pro Wrestling Pundit

MY 100 UNAPOLOGETIC FAVORITE WRESTLING MATCHES

2009-02-26T03:11:00.004-05:00

What could have been....

#94: Bret “The Hitman” Hart vs. The 1-2-3 Kid – WWF Championship Match, Monday Night Raw, July 11, 1994

(AUTHOR’S NOTE: I apologize with utmost sincerity for the huge gap between installments. Life intervened on a series of levels that I couldn’t help. I plan to hustle and make up for lost time with a few new inductions this week, however.

By the by, don't forget to check Austin Buckner's Pro Wrestling Wake Up - http://prowrestlingwakeup.blogspot.com)

The best wrestlers in the business become invaluable assets if in no other way, then in that they elevate every individual who stands across the ring from them. Not coincidentally, it is also the hallmark of a creative wrestling genius when a mid-level talent can be made to look like a perfectly legitimate main event-level performer and credible championship threat.

Various ROH and NWA champions have historically excelled in this. In both respective promotions and eras, elevating nearly every talent on the roster accomplished some really special things: the champ could carry off an intriguing main event against any given wrestler on any given night that guaranteed a butt ever 18 inches, no matter the dance partner; the main event scene practically never came with an expiration date – with so many wrestlers looking like credible contenders, nothing got stale; and most importantly, it made it incredibly difficult to ever “see the finish coming.”

Bret Hart hit an absolute hot streak in 1994 during his first run with the WWF title (I’m no revisionist; it was the WWF then, so it’s the WWF here) and shortly thereafter into 1995. He had matches that made superb talents look phenomenal and afterthought performers seem on the cusp of entering a new echelon. For mid-card performers such as Virgil, being there across the ring from Hart marked the only time they came close to perceptions of main-event acceptance.

Now ponder this: on this particular night, Hart stood across the ring from a longtime independent prodigy only beginning to make waves and win over fans: Sean Waltman. The former 1-2-3 Kid/X-Pac/Syxx was a smooth as buttermilk, crisp as a fresh-baked baguette’s crust and sold like ice in Hell.

Watching this match should make a wrestling fan angry. Really bitter. Anyone who appreciates the art in professional wrestling will at feel compelled to never look away. This was a honed master and a prodigy only beginning to show his polish. The ones who know the epilogue to these two careers knows Waltman became a walking attitude problem, degraded his gift with his drug problems and poor taste in friends and became a shell of himself that inspired the term “X-Pac heat”.

That should make someone angry, because in this match that had no build-up, no promos, no back-story, Waltman looked like a WWF Champion in the making.

Oh yes, it’s getting redundant, but no one announcer – save perhaps Joey Styles – could do this match justice as Jim Ross did. He treats this as sporting competition, not storytelling. He analyzes, breaks down and still colors the action. It even overcomes the hysterical-yet-borderline-irritating babbling of Randy Savage next to him. Ross was still in his NWA/WCW-style prime here, before he fell into the barbeque sauce stupor in which he remains to this day. This is the Gordon Solie School of Announcing proudly displayed in a promotion fronted by a man Sollie never liked at all, Vince McMahon.

Hart worked a physical, sometimes stiff style, and Waltman earns those first points of admiration by matching him hold-for-hold. It always made for interesting storytelling when anyone worked against his usual style by working the mat style with Hart. Yet, this always worked so well because Hart knew so very, very well how to make anyone look like an outstanding wrestler when in that element.

Once Hart takes control, Waltman displays a gift every great face needs to possess: complete comprehension of How To Take A Kicking 101. Taking a grind-it-out beating like that reminds everyone that, as good as Waltman may be, Hart is the champion for a reason. He’s just that good. Waltman returns Hart’s favor by coming across as struggling to barely survive until that next opportunity comes up.

For the record, consider this: so often, stories take weeks to develop and culminate in a big blow-off match or two. These two are getting across all the narrative one could handle in a space of about 17 minutes and change.

We now pause for character development: Hart gets a three-count, but saw Waltman’s foot on the ropes. Does he take the win? No, not the “fighting champion.” Instead, he insists on a re-start – and here, kicks the storytelling into a new gear. Almost right away, Waltman gets a long two-count of his own. So, we now have sportsmanship backfiring on the fighting champion and Waltman seizing the day.

So now, we arrive at Act Two. Suddenly, we have a fight on our hands. Suddenly, Waltman is making a big comeback. He manages near-fall after near-fall and catches Hart off-guard again and again. Waltman, the plucky underdog, achieved something with Hart on which Hart had always prided himself: the match felt real, competitive and unpredictable. By the end, people actually believed Waltman might win the WWF Championship. Again and again, Hart barely kicked out. How many kick-outs could he possibly have left?

The finish? The finish makes a mockery of anyone who claims Hart could never concoct an original way to resolve a match. Waltman – much like Pillman did in the previously-inducted match with Lex Luger – missed one move too many, Hart applied the Sharpshooter and Waltman submitted. But nothing could be further from the truth than to say that losing cleanly to Hart hurt Waltman. In fact, he gained immeasurably from this fast-paced, exciting match.

He gained so much, it makes me hate him when I leap from remembering that career performance, to his unmotivated laziness in the last five years or so.

To this day, ROH achieves something incredible in their main events – or, at least, they did. A talent such as Jay Briscoe or Kevin Steen could finagle a ROH World Title match on any given night against a Nigel McGuinness or a Bryan Danielson. No one would honestly believe a title switch would take place, and rightfully so. But the true gift, is when men such as those two or Chris Hero El Generico could actually have the most rabid, smark-infested crowd in the palms of their hands and believing they would really witness an improbable title change.

That’s the stuff from which the excitement of pro wrestling comes. Any Hulk Hogan main event hinged inevitably on Hogan’s appointment looking like a perfectly legitimate threat, whether it was Earthquake or Paul Orndorff or Andre The Giant. Look at Wrestlemania VI! The whole main event with Hogan and the Ultimate Warrior lived or died on its sheer unpredictability. That made the atmosphere legendary.

MY 100 UNAPOLOGETIC FAVORITE WRESTLING MATCHES

2009-02-11T06:06:00.003-05:00

Scott Steiner was right...

#96: Lex Luger © versus Brian Pillman, NWA U.S. Title Match – Halloween Havoc, October 28, 1989

Art imitates life, and vice versa. Yeah, next, I should tell you all something you don’t know.

Whether anybody buys it or not, wrestling embodies the characteristics of theatrical art. Characters major and minor must all make their marks to craft an engaging story. How many matches have featured great individual performers who didn’t possess the chemistry to make a winning combination?

Hence why I hate the overused term, “carry.”

Come on, wrestling fans, we toss it around constantly.

“Such-and-such ‘carried’ John Cena to a great match.”

“Ric Flair could ‘carry’ anyone to a great match.”

Look, Scott Steiner doesn’t get many things right. But when he reminded Triple H that “It takes two people to have a good match and two people to have a shitty match,” he nailed it right on the head. I mean, just dead-on.

When people see a good Lex Luger match – and even I’ll admit, you have to really know where to look – they often overlook Luger’s share of the credit.

Luger and Brian Pillman pulled together a match I could watch dozens of times over at Halloween Havoc in 1989. Pulling that off really didn’t take much. Both men knew their roles in the play, and knew how they needed to mesh to pull off something of quality. Luger had “the look” and pulled off a fine combination of narcissistic – do I REALLY need to explain my word-choice here when it comes to Luger, or do we all get the reference? – and cowardly heel, with just a touch of skill of his own. Pillman looked like nothing short of a higher-flying Ricky Steamboat here with an innate knack for psychology and selling that made Luger look like a million bucks and bought Pillman the crowd’s “underdog” vote.

The timing, the pacing – it all showed why the U.S. Title, held here by Luger, was on a level with the WWF’s Intercontinental Title: it was held by some of the best wrestlers having some of the most sound matches on the entire card. Putting Pillman in contention for the belt launched him far enough.

But this match made a statement for another reason: it sold Pillman as someone who could beat someone of Luger’s caliber. Keep in mind, at this point, Luger wasn’t far away from a big world title reign after Ric Flair left the company in 1991. So really, Pillman was in there once again showing he could go with the big main-event stars.

Pillman got the better of enough of the opening sequences to start making just that point. However, Luger got the better of Pillman enough times to keep him looking strong, instead of overwhelmed. Give credit once again where it’s due to Jim Ross for making both men look like a million bucks on commentary. He doesn’t skimp on getting over Luger’s raw talent and potential, or Pillman’s heart. The end sequence saw Pillman miss a splash, Luger drop Pillman’s throat across the top rope, then slide over for a clean pin. Immediately, Luger makes Pillman look fantastic by vacating the ring immediately looking thankful to still have his title.

“Whew! That was too close,” you can almost hear Luger thinking.

Give Pillman this, as well: he knew pacing. He knew when to bust out his high spots as much as he knew when to chain wrestle. He knew how to keep the crowd involved. He knew how to make each spot mean something.

For telling a David-versus-Goliath story, these two made great dance partners. Few people come to mind when I think of people who can get that kind of story over as entertainingly as Pillman could in his prime. Rey Mysterio is the very first name that pops into my head.

But of course, it takes two to tango. More importantly in this case, it takes two people to have a good match and – well, I won’t repeat it. Scott Steiner deserves his moment.

MY 100 UNAPOLOGETIC FAVORITE WRESTLING MATCHES

2009-02-03T01:30:00.007-05:00

Simple....but not easy

First and foremost, all apologies for taking so long to post another match. Life intervened at every turn. That's all you need to know.

Second, if you get a moment, check out my good friend Austin "KhanX" Buckner's very own Pro Wrestling Wake Up. Search for it right here on Blogger, it's very good stuff.

#97: "The American Dream" Dusty Rhodes vs. "Superstar" Billy Graham, Texas Bullrope Match, Madison Square Garden, August 28, 1978

There aren't many performers one could take from this era of professional wrestling, drop into another completely different era and watch display the tools to truly stay at the top.

Jake Roberts once said if wrestling were strictly about legitimate toughness, there would be nobody left but "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan and Haku. In his own inimitable way, Jake was stating the obvious: there's more to creating a great match than who can beat one another up the most. As Ole Anderson said once, "The finish has to make sense."

Yet another legend - I forget just now who it was - once said the only individuals he could see absolutely holding their own in any era in professional wrestling's history were Chris Benoit, Eddie Guerrero and Kurt Angle.

There's something to both theories. Jake reminded everyone that actual toughness isn't a necessity at all. If one possesses the right gifts, the illusion of true grit can be manufactured. But the ability to tell a story is a must to create something even remotely watchable.

The second theory holds some weight, too. Chris Benoit would be a quintessential "shooter" - someone with very legitimate wrestling ability - in any given promotion in any given era. Guerrero and Angle would possess the charisma, presence and storytelling gifts to captivate audiences across every territory.

Which brings me around to this match: not everyone can pull off what Dusty Rhodes and Billy Graham could separately.

There's no point adding a stipulation if it doesn't make things more interesting. Right off the bat, these two make the bullrope a schizophrenic character all its own. It's that "up-the-ante" factor that gimmick matches need to have. Vince Russo, someway, somehow, has never learned this.

Rhodes taunts Graham with the rope right off the bat, and witness the flayboyant Graham display all the charms of a great cowardly heel. He begs off, tries to run and Dusty, like a cat with a mouse, just toys with him by yanking him back into the ring. If one is going to play a character, he might as well turn up the volume and rip that knob off.

But once Graham takes over, he reminds everyone there's two sides to any story. He takes the rope and makes it HIS ally. He punishes Dusty over and over with it. Watching this single seven-minute match is like watching some great architecht of the past, present and future of the wrestling business toying with the early blueprints for the character works of art called Scott Steiner, "Hollywood" Hulk Hogan and Triple H. Vanity and arrogance crossed with strength and brutality.

What the Hell, just because I almost quoted him directly, toss a generous helping of "Ravishing" Rick Rude in there, as well.

Both men execute every single moment with an over-the-top aplomb that not many today bother with. If what these two men could do was easy, we'd see more of it today. Nobody would complain about Mark and Jay Briscoe doing so little to sell their opponents' offense. Truthfully, of everybody in the business today, C.M. Punk, Randy Orton, Edge and Chris Jericho spring immediately to mind first on the list of wrestlers who could do what Rhodes and Graham do here.

Let me put it another way: this match may be one of the only satisfying COUNTOUT FINISHES I've ever watched. These two worked the crowd the hard way: with selling, timing and telling a logical story. They used the bullrope to the fullest advantage to enhance what they both already did so well.

This match in itself is a lesson so many wrestlers today either never bothered learning, or forgot as quickly as they'd learned it.

I think it's time for some wrestlers to go back to school.

MY 100 UNAPOLOGETIC FAVORITE WRESTLING MATCHES

2009-01-20T13:06:00.003-05:00

The birth of the "ROH style"?

#98: Brian Pillman vs. Jushin "Thunder" Liger, WCW Light Heavyweight Championship - Superbrawl II, February 29, 1992

The previous two matches extolled the values found in a good, rowdy brawl. They also prove, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that keeping a match compelling doesn't take 450-splashes off of ladders through flaming tables propped up over tanks filled with bloodthirsty sharks, eels and Democrats.

This match proves that aiming high with style points doesn't necessarily hurt, as long as it adds to the story.

And this match's story might be my favorite kind: that of competition for 10 pounds of gold. That is "competition" (OK, we all know it's scripted, right? right, moving on....) just to be the best. It wasn't for custody of a child. No one's wife got slapped, nor anyone's significant-other stolen. It didn't even need animosity. It just needed one championship, and two guys who wanted it.

"Flyin'" Brian Pillman almost defies mere words at this point. Without the high-flying, high-risk offense that he introduced to mainstream American wrestling, A.J. Styles, Sonjay Dutt, Jeff Hardy and others would spend whole careers languishing in dark matches. Meanwhile, Jushin "Thunder" Liger was absolutely in his prime, which included classic matches with the likes of two young men named Chris Benoit and Eddie Guerrero.

Pillman had lost his WCW light heavyweight championship to Liger, and wanted it back. Again, I must stress this: there was no bitter animosity or even much antagonism. Pillman wanted his title back, plain and simple.

The two carried off this match at a very, very brisk pace. Both men scarcely sought a moment to rest, stringing together a superb match combining some flawless technical chain-wrestling and each man's trademark aerial artistry. And it cannot be understated: both these men were, in every sense of the word, ARTISTS in what they did.

Both men swapped the momentum enough times to keep every single fan on edge wondering who would come out on top. That might be the most consistently effective way to tell a story in the ring. The last third of the match, each man would reverse something the other did into a high-impact move that I guarantee every fan thought meant the end of the match . . . except when it didn't. I cannot stress this enough, this was not Hogan-Warrior formulaic, face-takes-a-beating-then-dominates-the-last-segment-of-the-match-to-pull-off-the-improbable-win booking. You couldn't read the pacing and have the slightest idea who goes over.

That's the kind of match that is a joy to watch, even when you know the outcome. It sucks you right back in again like the first time you watched it.

Pillman hit his springboard clothesline, but couldn't put Liger away. Liger hit a Liger-bomb, but that couldn't put Pillman away. Pillman nailed a top-rope splash, but couldn't get the three. Liger missed a diving headbutt . . . and then Pillman executed a sneaky sort of rolling clutch you just didn't see on American TV that often and picked up an out-of-the-blue three-count.

And THEREIN lies the perfection. After all the false finishes that threw the crowd off, it was a move absolutely outside of Pillman's signature offense - in fact, something that most would've guessed to be a transitional sort of near-fall move - that finally ended it.

It saddens me to hear "Internet fans" sometimes lament the rampant use of complicated, unorthodox offense in American wrestling, especially in independent federations. And to be perfectly honest, they're not always wrong. What gets me, is that these fans will even lay on the cynicism when high-spots and acrobatic, unorthodox move sets DO help tell the story. The aerial offense both these men employed brought the audience to its feet and added something special.

Remember, it was a MISSED diving headbutt that set up the finish. Pillman's springboard clothesline, often a finisher, couldn't get the three-count, and that put over just how tough Liger really had to be to withstand everything Pillman could throw at him. A dive by Pillman at one point ended with him eating guardrail and the audience probably believing that Liger then had the match in hand . . . which, of course, set up more near-falls, proving that Pillman could take whatever Liger could throw at him. The high-spots need to either mark a transition or assist in getting something else about the story over. As it stands now, they've been significantly cheapened.

Speaking of little things driving the story, give ample credit to Jim Ross for calling this match solo and putting over the immense athleticism that both these men possessed. Ross was the Al Michaels/Bob Costas of professional wrestling at this point, who had an incredible gift for getting across crucial intangible aspects of a match to make it make sense to any average first-time viewer. This night, Ross was in rare form.

Pillman brought colossal heart, talent and athletic gifts to the table, as Ross pointed out. Liger equaled him in nearly every way, except for being in his own right a former IWGP Junior Heavyweight Champion. How I WISH I could hear Ross name-drop promotions like New Japan and great performers such as Antonio Inoki on TV again. This is an example of the night-and-day difference between how Vince McMahon likes things done, and what's best for the product. They are not always the same thing, trust me.

It's not the sort of thing anyone notices off the bat, but good logic inconspicuously made this match superb. Every time someone made a wrong move, the other capitalized; that way, it got across these two were so equal in terms of ability, one mistake by either could mean the match. The focus of the match never deviated from the title; that way, in the eyes of the fan, the title truly meant something significant. Finally, the match showed that both men were masters of the one word on the marquee that should ever be made to matter by the promoters:

Wrestling.

MY 100 UNAPOLOGETIC FAVORITE WRESTLING MATCHES

2009-01-19T11:19:00.001-05:00

#99: STORYTELLING MADE SIMPLE

#99: Raven vs. C.M. Punk (Dog-Collar Match)

I could almost count on one hand the heels more fun to watch than ROH-era C.M. Punk. I would barely need two to count the wrestlers, heel or face, I enjoy watching more than Raven.

You surely see why this match holds a special place in my heart.

This feud exemplified Punk’s gift for adapting his straight-edge gimmick to whatever direction the wind may blow him. It makes an ideal tool for getting under anyone’s skin as an elitist, moralistic, high-and-mighty blowhard. The same gimmick – which, for the uninitiated, he lived before he ever set foot in a wrestling ring – can make him an ideal white-meat babyface that couldn’t be easier to market, with a colorful look, charisma to spare and a positive code of living.

Then there’s Raven.

What Punk is to clean-living, Raven is to the fabled excesses and debauchery behind wrestling’s curtain. However, like so many, he also eventually showed himself to be an underestimated genius of creating a character and telling an engaging story in and out of the ring. He was on par, unfortunately in many ways, with Jake “The Snake” Roberts and Rowdy Roddy Piper. Those clashing, polarized personalities set the stage for a feud that wrote itself before audiences’ very eyes. And as workers, these two men nailed the psychology, the story-telling, so well that you forgot you were watching something scripted.

From the time Raven came into ROH, Punk obsessed over running him out. This was HIS house, he believed. Not only did ROH not need Raven’s hardcore circus and debaucherous background – Punk’s personal code and Raven’s rules could not coexist. They had wars. They chased one another up and down ROH’s home turf.

Then came this match. This is how to let a gimmick or stipulation enhance the storytelling. The two eschewed ROH’s signature high-flying, innovative, strong-style offense and took wrestling back to Greg Valentine-Roddy Piper, Dusty Rhodes-Billy Graham territory.

Two men chained together. Can’t run, can’t hide. The length of chain between them, practically all they could ever need to do unholy degrees of damage to one another. It was the science of simplicity.

Punk came out on top after a sequence that saw ECW alum Danny Doring rush the ring after Punk cut yet ANOTHER scathing pre-match promo, this time calling out Doring, who was “in attendance” (see: plant). In the midst of the fray, in came Punk’s fellow Second City Saint, Colt Cabana, to DDT Raven.

There’s the injury. Here comes the insult.

Punk then tied Raven in the ropes and desecrated Raven’s new-found sobriety by pouring a beer down his throat. One man emerged to aid Raven. Of ALL people, Raven’s oldest and most storied rival . . . . TOMMY DREAMER. Dreamer took down Punk with a DDT of his own, untied Raven, stared him down . . . . and hugged the man like a brother.

Here was the icing on the cake, though. Punk so loved this feud, he allowed Dreamer and Raven to tie him in the ropes and pour a beer down his straight-edge gullet, followed by Dreamer and Raven celebrated to “Man In The Box.” Truly, it was a moment.

2009-01-16T21:18:00.001-05:00

Smarks might want to step away.....

I spent some time pondering my writing’s direction. I reached one conclusion: I seek out direction a little too diligently sometimes.

Wait, back up and let me explain.

I enjoy writing. I truly, truly love it. But I need something more sometimes. I need a mission. I need a message.

I sometimes neglect sitting down, shutting up and just writing.

So I want to take this back to something I love doing when I sit with my friends and talk wrestling: pick out my favorite matches (as they pick theirs) and discuss why I love them. I’m trying to convey something about fandom that should’ve never been lost and has ended up forgotten: forget the backstage news, forget being a smark, forget being a consummate critic and just enjoy the things you love.

So I won’t apologize for one single match in this list. These are truly my 100 unapologetic favorite matches, including a tidbit here and there explaining the qualities of great wrestling that I feel they exemplify. Most come from my personal DVD library. A few I can’t find anywhere, so I will recall them as best I can from memory. Sometimes, that means I must rely on an unreliable memory and won’t give much in terms of play-by-play.

These will be in order in the most basic sense. I did not rank this meticulously. I will not quibble over precise placement. I don’t care how any of you interpret these matches’ exact respective placements. I will give away one hint: yes, #1 IS, in fact, my favorite match of all time, and probably always will be.

Oh, one last thing: since this is an effort to help me write with more of a nod to thrift, I have imposed upon myself a 450-word limit. That should also encourage getting to the damn point.

So sit back, relax and enjoy a short ride. Here’s number 100.

Chris Benoit vs. Meng (Death Match)
WCW The Great American Bash 1997

Look no further for proof that entertaining wrestling doesn’t need to be one-tenth as difficult as fans sometimes want it to be, or as bookers tend to sometimes book it.

This was a straight-up battle of “Who can take more of a beating?” Benoit was being built as one of the toughest, most vicious, cold-hearted men to ever lace a pair of boots.
Meng….well, Meng was Meng. For the uninitiated, he is most likely honored to be considered one of the few men as legitimately tough as the in-ring savage he portrayed. Watching him was watching a clinic of how to no-sell and make it WORK. The man took endless punishment, seemed to feel no pain whatsoever, and kept the in-ring action brutal and stiff, but convincing.

You didn’t need to suspend any disbelief to believe what either of these guys did to the guy across the ring hurt. Chances are, it probably hurt even worse than it looked.

These two had the kind of feud you could book in any promotion, in the midst of any era in the wrestling business’s history, and it would fit right in. ECW, Mid-Atlantic Wrestling, Mid-South, WCCW, Mexico, Japan – it would play ANYWHERE at ANYTIME.

So you have two guys well-known for dishing it out doubly as well as they could take it. What could be more fun than turning ‘em loose on one another to see, once and for all, who is left standing at the end? The finish was absolutely perfect: Meng, the unstoppable monster savage, passed out in the crossface. It comes back to why Meng no-selling worked: it further established Benoit’s credibility by not just beating Meng, but making the man pass out. The same finish made the last-man-standing match between John Cena and Umaga at the 2007 Royal Rumble easily the most enjoyable match of their entire program.

It was a wild, violent brawl. And for WCW, it was a rare instance when everything felt completely satisfying from start to finish. If, like me, you loved this match, check out the Cena/Umaga match, anything between the Undertaker and Mankind or take your pick of any of dozens of matches between Mike Awesome and Masato Tanaka in either FMW or the original ECW.

Kurt Angle Interview

2008-10-10T21:17:00.001-04:00

Here is an interview conducted by Dameon Nelson of the Pro Wrestling Report.

Do you think Angle's comments were for real, or a work? Post your thoughts here.

-Jedd-

Body

Kimbo Slice the Headliner

2008-10-06T22:11:00.002-04:00

This stuff annoys the piss out of me.

Since this fight took place, every news site, every fighting forum, every article I've read, it's been nothing but cutting up Kimbo Slice because of his poor showing.

"The fight was fixed"

"Kimbo's a joke"

"Kimbo's a flash in the pan"

"Kimbo's overpaid"

I want to know how many people making these statements have ever been in the ring! Have they ever traded punches for pay? Have they ever even been hit with a punch? I doubt that the majority of these writers have even strapped on gloves before. They download a few videos on the internet, buy a few pay-per-views and watch a season of the Ultimate Fighter and all of a sudden they're a fight critic.

I'll give my opinion on a few of these statements I have seen.

"The fight was fixed"

I highly doubt it. I don't think Kimbo was faking his post-fight daze. If you watch that video again, as Petruzelli is running around the cage in amazement, Kimbo starts hooking up on the referee. The dude was out of it. Whatever shot he took initially was followed by a series of short strikes that took him out of reality.

"Kimbo's a joke, a flash in the pan"

Maybe but only if the promoters just decide to drop him. Fighting and succeeding at this level is dependent on many factors. No one but Kimbo and his squad knows how Kimbo was feeling that night. Was he 100%? Was he worn out? Was he sick? Did he have a headache? Was he nervous? There are so many factors that could have contributed to Kimbo being off his game. To say he's a joke after one poor fight isn't even fair. In baseball, you're expected to fail 7 out of ten times. Batters go without a hit for several games. Pitchers go winless for entire months, but we don't give up on them. These critics are ready to cart Kimbo off into the desert and dump him there. And what sucks is, the promoters will probably figuratively do just that. The sport of MMA seems to be one of the most cut throat there is. Promoters love the fighters while they're on top, but they suffer a hard loss, and the promoters are out looking for a new piece of meat to throw in there. Again, the people behind the scenes, running these menageries probably never stepped into a ring in their life. And people say Vince McMahon is a cut throat prick.

"Kimbo's overpaid"

Kimbo got paid big time, (reportedly $500,000) and good for him. He brought in the ratings. He headlined the card. He gets the big paycheck. That's the way it should be. MMA is entertainment now. It's about creating pay-per-view buys, internet traffic, television ratings, and merchandise sales. It is not about paying the best athletes the biggest purses - it's about dropping the pile of dough on the guy who puts the asses every 18 inches. That was Kimbo Slice last Saturday.

And ya know what? If the Office decides to kick Kimbo to the curb, they'll find another headliner to push. And if that headliner stumbles one day, you can bet the critics will turn on him too.

HOW TO MAKE A WRESTLING FAN

2008-10-05T15:39:00.002-04:00

EASY? No. POSSIBLE? Absolutely.

The most worthwhile things we do never come easily.

Can creating new wrestling fans really be called worthwhile? Maybe, maybe not. We wrestling fans do not have it easy. Public perception usually works against us. Popular culture's judges long ago and far away deemed our chosen entertainment form a sideshow attraction, a comical, low-brow farce.

I can't say I disagree. After all, if you know your history, wrestling began as a sideshow attraction.

I blame Vincent Kennedy McMahon for the ridicule and raised-eyebrows forcing me to defend wrestling's identity. His success mainstream America his over-the-top sideshow in two different phenomenal boom eras wins him my thanks. You see my conundrum.

I can't exactly call that fence comfortable. I can defend the semi-improvisational drama woven by such masters as "Nature Boy" Ric Flair, Harley Race, Ricky Steamboat, Bret Hart, "Mr. Perfect" Curt Hennig and others until my face turns blue as Owen Hart's alter-ego. It takes exactly one "Katie Vick" or "David Arquette, WCW Champion" to instantly make me a jabbering mental patient with an IQ of 40.

It never fails: people see the worst, turn to share a laugh with the other naysayers, and miss the redeeming things.

Most people consider wrestling fans to be the shallow dim-witted ones, to my amazement. I challenge you to find people more judgmental fans with limited capacity to make valid arguments in their defense than wrestling's naysayers. You could find someone who willingly sits with you "objectively" watching Chris Benoit battle Kurt Angle or Sting battle Ric Flair.

Their response, paraphrased only slightly:

"Steroids steroids FAKE steroids steroids GAY DUDES ROLLING AROUND WITH EACH steroids FAKE steroids I SAW TRIPLE H HUMP A CORPSE ONCE, THAT WAS GAY AND FAKE steroids BENOIT steroids."

That, or . . .

"So does Hulk Hogan still wrestle?"

I can't honestly decide which response I prefer hearing. I really can't.

So many people won't try something before knocking it, that we the fans have one hope, and one hope only: if someone comes across even passably interested in watching wrestling, show them the good stuff. Sell them the business's merits. Make it clear we hate the same things about the business they find stupid, inane, and credulity straining.

How do we do that, though? Throwing someone who didn't waste a moment watching wrestling once either Hogan left the WWF, or Steve Austin and The Rock moved on, right into Ric Flair and Ricky Steamboat wouldn't necessarily work. Coax the sheep gently.

I hope I can demonstrate the path to that for you. I've done it a few times, but none more notably than making my wonderful fiancee, Alexis. But I want to save that for next time....

Hulk Hogan Wasn't the First to Slam the Giant!

2008-09-16T19:27:00.002-04:00

All these years we were led to believe the Hulkster was the first to bodyslam the Giant. But it just isn't so. Behold someone who pulled this magnificent feat off before Hulk Hogan!

2008-08-13T14:29:00.001-04:00

PWR Show - Latest Episode

2008-07-31T21:20:00.000-04:00

Steiner Brothers vs. Hart Brothers

2008-06-05T13:28:00.002-04:00

The First Encounter

2008-06-05T12:13:00.001-04:00

Ultimate Warrior - Returning to Action

2008-05-28T08:47:00.003-04:00

In case you haven't heard, the Ultimate Warrior is scheduled to return to in-ring action in Barcelona Spain this year. Read on to watch some of the videos he has posted about his return.

I am not sure how I came about his blog, as I have not visited it much since he began his ridiculous and controversial, and often offensive, narratives on his blog, but I did somehow find myself there this week.

Warrior has re-done his site once again, and now maintains a blog at http://ultimatewarriortv.com/blog/, posting new content almost daily. Surprisingly, for some reason he is seeing it fit to shoot footage of his commentary on Heath Ledger and Hulk Hogan, among others, wearing an antique Ultimate Warrior Halloween mask. Click the link to check it out for yourself.

Now, if anybody who reads this blog knows me, you know that I am a strength and conditioning fanatic, so it was very interesting for me to see current footage of the Warrior spending time in the gym, putting in some good hard work and effort.

The Warrior has obviously stuck with his strength and conditioning training his absence from the ring spotlight, and judging by the lack of body fat to be seen anywhere on his 40-some year-old body, he is still spectacular in his dietary discipline. At least that much is an inspiration.

And thankfully, he doesn't play with the Ultimate Warrior figurine during his workouts.

Jedd
DieselCrew.com
Napalm's Corner

The Return of Wargames and a New Four Horsemen

2008-05-23T10:06:00.005-04:00

Again, it has been a while. Consistency has never been a strength of mine. I am mostly done with my MBA, so I should be able to step it up here, assuming of course I have something interesting to write about. In my opinion, the worst thing I can do is give you readers an uninspired article just to meet a deadline. My last column was in February. I was attempting to push through on the Road to WrestleMania.

I was actually fortunate enough to attend WrestleMania XXIV in Orlando, Florida thanks to my good friend Shawn. The experience was incredible. Shawn won a contest, which gave us backstage access at Axxess, and got us a stretch excursion ride to the Citrus Bowl. Our car was let in to the wrong gate and we actually spent a few minutes backstage prior to WrestleMania where we saw Randy Orton and John Cena prior to the granddaddy of them all. Don't believe me? Here is a picture of us backstage at Axxess:

Ten people jobbed to me in the WWE name game:

Here is a picture of our stretch excursion:

Here is a picture of us backstage at WrestleMania with Jimmy Wang Yang and Shannon Moore:

Notice how Cherry loves me. Cherry, if you are out there, I love you too! You are gorgeous. Anywho, my dream of attending a WrestleMania became a reality, and the whole weekend was incredibly special, especially due to the fanfare surrounding Ric Flair's retirement. WrestleMania missteps? The biggest one I can think of was putting JBL over Finlay. WWE had a major star on their hands. Then they pulled the rug out from under him. Sad to see Finlay languishing on Smackdown after what should have been a triumphant victory over Mr. McMahon at WrestleMania XXIV.

I have never been a big Jeff Hardy fan. I have not been too much of a William Regal fan either. Funny how when my interest peaks in both men, and I see them as can't miss main eventers, they both get 60 day wellness suspensions. Regal vs. Triple H should have been the program of the summer. Now that the possibility is gone altogether, I would like to see Trips drop his belt-ah at One Night Stand-ah to Randy Orton-ah.

WWE's One Night Stand is right around the corner, and 5 matches have been announced as of this writing:
WWE Title Last Man Standing Match
Triple H © vs. Randy Orton

First Blood Match
JBL vs. John Cena

Stretcher Match
Shawn Michaels vs. Batista

Falls Count Anywhere Match
Jeff Hardy vs. Umaga

Singapore Cane Match (To crown a #1 Contender for the ECW Title)
Tommy Dreamer vs. CM Punk vs. John Morrison vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. The Big Show
Is it just me or has JBL been awful since his return to the ring? He ruined his match with Chris Jericho at the Royal Rumble, he ruined Finlay's program with Vince McMahon and inexplicably went over at WrestleMania, and his positioning in the title picture on Raw seems awkward and forced. I have not seen his Judgment Day match with John Cena, but I am not expecting a great deal from their first blood match at One Night Stand. Why didn't JBL choose a bullrope match, or something more related to his gimmick? Eh, who cares. The winner of this match will likely work with the winner of the Orton/HHH match next. As I said, the up and coming contenders I was most interested in watching were Jeff Hardy and William Regal. I guess that won't be happening for either of them any time soon.

Speaking of Jeff Hardy, what is the deal with the WWE's use of Umaga? Whenever a babyface needs an opponent, a supposed authority figure will bring out the Samoan Bulldozer as a punishment, but who are they really punishing. Umaga has been brought out to be the demise of Triple H, John Cena, Shawn Michaels, and Jeff Hardy on a number of occasions, and every single time, he gets his ass handed to him. How can these Raw babyfaces remotely hold a straight face when Umaga is coming to destroy them, knowing that the guy hasn't won a match in the last 8 months. For all the job duty Umaga has done, he should have defeated Batista at WrestleMania XXIV. He is a solid hand for the WWE, and at one time he was a hot character. Unfortunately, it doesn't appear that it will be long before they turn him from a Samoan Savage to a big dancing goof like his big brother Rikishi. If they do make him dance, I got the perfect song for him. Sing it to the tune of YMCA.

Young Man, you are in for a fight because
Young Man, your opponent tonight is a
Young Man, from the Isle of Samoa
Who we call the Samoan Bulldozer
Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun
You have to wrestle the U-M-A-G-A
You have to wrestle the U-M-A-G-A
He's got dreadlocked hair, he's got white thumb tape, since Patterson's gone this is as close as we have come to butt rape

CMoney in the Bank Punk is in a number one contenders match at One Night Stand. Not really making a lot of sense from where I am sitting. I guess he could win this, take the ECW title, and cash in the briefcase for a different title. Personally, I would like to see the elevation of Shelton Benjamin. Not that this is a secret to anyone who reads my columns. How do I propose that they do this? Let me tell you…

Week 1: May 24-31: At One Night Stand, presumably Big Show will go over as the number one contender for the ECW title. That is fine, as Benjamin is not ready to contend for that title just yet. Tuesday Night on Sci-Fi, Benjamin defeated Kofi Kingston. With one ECW show left prior to One Night Stand, Benjamin should get a second victory over Kingston, to squash any type of program brewing between the two.

ECW: Benjamin then cuts a promo: I came to ECW to prove that I am the man, and that is exactly what I have done. I am the Gold Standard. Hell, I am the Black Nature Boy, Whoooo!

One Night Stand: At One Night Stand right before the Shawn Michaels/Batista match, Benjamin and Elijah Burke get some face time backstage. Benjamin is dressed in a suit, with a rolex watch and diamond rings on. Benjamin goes on to tell Burke that he is a Street Fightin', High Flyin, Show Stealing, Sex Appealing, Son of a Bitch, Whooo. He then puts over Elijah Burke's legit boxing background, and offers him a role as his enforcer. He then starts referring to Burke as Double E, which could stand for Elijah Enforcer, Elijah Experience, or Elijah Express.

Week 2: June 1 – 7: ECW: On the June third ECW broadcast, Benjamin dons a Ric Flair-esque robe and comes out to his signature Ain't No Stopping Me Now, followed by Ric Flair's 1991 WWF theme.

Benjamin, with Burke by his side cuts a promo saying that if diamonds are forever, the gold standard's one better. Tonight, Colin Delaney will walk that aisle, and the Black Nature Boy will take him to school. Whooo!
During the match, Benjamin sends Delaney to the outside, where he takes 4-Up and a Double E spinebuster. Burke rolls Delaney back in where Benjamin hits Paydirt and locks in a figure four. Delaney is out, so the ref counts his shoulders down, 1, 2, 3.

Smackdown: That same week, Burke is set to wrestle Matt Hardy on Smackdown for the United States title. During the match, Benjamin attempts interference but is cut off by Hardy. With the ref distracted by Benjamin, The Miz and John Morrison make their way into the ring. Morrison levels Hardy with the tag team title belt, and Miz pulls Burke on top of Matt Hardy for the 3 count. Winner and new United States Champion, Elijah Burke.

Week 3: June 8-14: ECW: The next week on ECW, Benjamin, Burke, Miz, and Morrison open the show. They congratulate Burke on his United States title and proclaim themselves the New Breed of Horsemen, and hold up four fingers. Benjamin whoo's repeatedly, until Batista's music hits. The Animal makes his way down to the ring to confront Benjamin and company saying, you are no Evolution, and you certainly are no Four Horsemen. The New Breed Horsemen take exception to this and attack. Batista is able to fend them off briefly, but eventually succumbs to the 4 on 1 beat down.

Benjamin beats an ECW roster member.

Miz and Morrison defeat an ECW or Smackdown Tag Team.

Smackdown: Friday Night Smackdown rolls around, and Batista comes to the ring to say that the New Breed has Unleashed the Animal, and challenges them all right there on the spot. The four come out to the top of the ramp to Flair's 91 theme. Benjamin takes the microphone and says that Batista has not earned the right to stand toe to toe with the most athletic player in the game, the Black Nature Boy, Shelton Benjamin, whooo! He tells Batista that he will have the pleasure of meeting United States Champion Elijah Burke, and Tag Team Champions Miz and Morrsion three on one tonight.

Backstage, Batista is gearing up for his match when in walks Cody Rhodes. Rhodes acknowledges that he is not supposed to be on Smackdown, but he has seen what Benjamin and company are doing to tarnish the legacy of Ric Flair and the Horsemen, and he won't stand for it. He figured Batista would need some back up, so he and Hardcore Holly are there to watch his back. The match is changed to Burke, Miz, and Morrsion vs. Batista, Holly, and Rhodes. Batista, Holly, and Rhodes win when Rhodes rolls up Morrison quick for a three count.

Week 4: June 15-21: Raw: The next week on Raw, Rhodes and Holly are scheduled to defend their tag team championship against Carlito and Santino Marella on Raw. Earlier in the night, Piper and Rhodes are shown backstage talking about what Santino Marella and the new horsemen group. During the tag title match, Morrison appears on the screen. "Hey Cody, Cody! We got a little surprise for you. Cody is distracted from the apron. The New Breed are standing with lead pipes. Does this look familiar to you?" They hold up a bloody Dusty Rhodes, bring him to a car in the parking lot, and slam his arm in the door. The Miz comes on. "And just to make sure that he doesn't get in our business, we got Piper too!" They hold up Piper and give him repeated shots to his surgically repaired hip with the lead pipes. Cody Rhodes begins to run to the back. Hardcore Holly walks to the ropes facing the entrance with his arms out asking Cody where he is going. Carlito delivers a back cracker and pins Holly to win the Tag Team titles.

When Rhodes gets to the backstage area, the New Breed are already gone, and Shawn Michaels is attending to Rhodes and Piper with a number of agents and referees. Cody breaks down and weeps into his hands.

ECW: ECW starts with the New Breed in the ring gloating about what they have done to Piper and Dusty, and say to let it serve as a warning to anyone who wants to get in their business. Shawn Michaels music hits and he walks to the ring and stands face to face with the four new breed members. "I know what it is like to be young and cocky with a chip on your shoulder. I know what it is like to give everything you have and not get noticed, but I have been around long enough to know that this is not the way to do it." Morrison, Burke, Benjamin, and Miz take turns mocking Shawn. Morrison suggests that Shawn doesn't remember what it's like to be in that position, because he has been politicking and holding guys down for the last 15 years. Miz says that if he had never stepped up and thrown Marty Jannetty through the barber shop window, he would be in line collecting unemployment checks with Techno Team 2000. Burke tells him that he would be better suited to stay out of New Breed business and get lost to go find his smile. Benjamin gets in his face and says, "Shawn Michaels, you are as much of an opportunist as anyone of us. Look at what you did to Ric Flair at WrestleMania XXIV. I am the Black Nature Boy Whooo! If diamonds are forever, the gold standard is one better. I am a street fightin, high flying, show stealing… Shawn interrupts Benjamin with a slap to the face. The New Breed starts to beat down Shawn, but Rhodes, Holly, and Batista come to make the save. GM Estrada announces a four on four match for the main event.

Backstage, Batista and Shawn squash their beef, agreeing that this isn't about either of them, it's about the legacy of Ric Flair. Cody Rhodes is chomping at the bit, but Hardcore Holly looks less than enthused. Holly begins talking about Rhodes taking his eye off the ball and losing their tag team titles. Michaels reprimands Holly, suggesting they focus on the task at hand tonight, and the mood is tense.

5 minutes into the main event, the ref loses control and all hell breaks loose. In the ring, Shawn Michaels goes to deliver the flying forearm to the Miz, but he ducks and HBK hits Hardcore Holly. Michaels kips up and gives sweet chin music to the Miz, which knocks him out of the ring. Morrison slides in, and Shawn gives him and atomic drop and goes to work with right hands. Holly rolls to the outside of the ring and grabs a chair. Inside the ring, Michaels bodyslams Morrison and goes to the top for the elbow. He hits. He gets up to go for Sweet Chin Music and Hardcore Holly lays him out with a hard chair shot. Miz rolls back in and slides on top of Michaels for the three count while Holly walks out on the whole thing.

Smackdown: On Smackdown that week, Holly is nowhere to be found. The New Breed gloat about their victory on ECW and take credit for Shawn Michaels being unable to compete on Smackdown. Batista and Cody Rhodes will meet Miz and Morrison for the tag team titles, and Matt Hardy will meet Elijah Burke for the US title. Matt Hardy defeats Burke by disqualification when Shelton Benjamin interferes. Miz and Morrison walk out with their tag team titles when the going gets tough. Matt Hardy sneaks behind them and throws them back into the ring. Rhodes hits a DDT on the Miz, and Batista give the Batista Bomb to Morrison, but Benjamin and Burke get to the ring just in time to break up the three counts and end the match in a DQ. Matt Hardy gets in the fight, and Rhodes, Batista, and Hardy are left standing at the end of the fight.

Week 5: June 22-29: Raw: Monday Night Raw begins with the Highlight Reel with guests Hardcore Holly and Cody Rhodes. Rhodes comes out first, and Holly comes out second to his own music, complete with that stupid How do you like me now entrance. Chris Jericho announces that Holly and Rhodes are scheduled to face Miz and Morrison for the Tag Team Titles tomorrow night on ECW. Rhodes denounces the actions of Holly from the previous week and tells Holly to apologize. Holly speaks about working for 15 years with Shawn Michaels, the opportunities Michaels stole from him, and how he just plain doesn't like Shawn Michaels and that is why he did what he did. "As far as Rhodes and Holly teaming tonight for the tag team titles? Here is my answer to that. Holly gives Rhodes a hard slap to the mouth and walks out of the ring." Rhodes holds his face and stares at Holly as he makes his exit, proud of distancing himself from Rhodes. When Holly gets to the top of the ramp, Shawn Michaels music hits. When Holly turns around, HBK levels him with Sweet Chin Music, and gets down and begins shouting in his face. Cody Rhodes manages a smile and leaves.

Shawn Michaels was already scheduled to face Chris Jericho at the Night of Champions for the Intercontinental title. They will also face off later on this night in a non title match as a preview for the Night of Champions. I am not a big fan of this kind of booking, but WWE does it quite often. Hardcore Holly interrupts with his steel chair in hand and lays out both Jericho and Michaels, inserting himself into the match at Night of Champions. Holly and Michaels have been effectively removed from the Horsemen storyline, despite Holly's prior ties to Rhodes and Michaels relationship with Flair and reason to be at the front lines.

ECW: The next night on ECW, Elijah Burke and Shelton Benjamin are shown backstage. They announce that if Batista or Matt Hardy lay a hand on any member of the New Breed tonight without physical provocation, Matt Hardy will forfeit his United States title match with Burke at Night of Champions, and Batista will not face Benjamin at One Night Stand.

Shelton defeats an ECW roster member.

Burke defeats an ECW roster member.

The Miz and John Morrison make their entrance and await Cody Rhodes, knowing that he is without a partner for the evening. Rhodes makes his way to the ring to compete alone. Trevor Murdoch's music hits and he makes his way to the ring with a microphone. He says he's been watching what's been going on, and says it's been too long since a Murdoch and a Rhodes stood side by side kicking ass and taking names. He asks if Rhodes will accept him as his tag team partner, and Rhodes replies, "The Rhodes family has wined and dined with King's and Queens, and slept in alleys and dined on pork and beans, but there is no place more comfortable for a Rhodes than as a Texas Outlaw, with a Murdoch watching his back!" Burke and Benjamin make their way to the ring with no music, looking concerned at this turn of events while the match starts. Batista and Matt Hardy make their way to the ring to even out the sides. Batista and Hardy make their way out to even up the odds, but neither is allowed to make any contact with Burke or Benjamin if not physically provoked. Burke and Benjamin take turns cheating, as Batista and Hardy get increasingly frustrated, causing more distractions and more cheating. Dusty Rhodes music hits and he and "Rowdy" Roddy Piper make their way to ringside and dispose of Benjamin and Burke. Rhodes hits a DDT while Murdoch hits a bulldog, and they simultaneously pin the Miz and Morrison to win the Tag Team titles. They celebrate with Batista, Matt Hardy, Dusty Rhodes, and Roddy Piper.

Smackdown: Friday Night Smackdown begins with the New Breed fuming about losing the tag team titles. Miz and Morrison announce that they will use their rematch clause at Night of Champions. Burke talks about being the enforcer and talks about Hardy. Benjamin cuts a Flair like promo on Batista, then promises that the New Breed will do something that no one will ever forget that night on Smackdown.

Backstage, Batista and Hardy are shown talking with Dusty Rhodes and Ricky Steamboat. It is announced that Cody and Trevor Murdoch are not there. Matt Hardy and Batista both pick up wins over Smackdown roster members to prepare for Night of Champions. Backstage Ricky Steamboat is shown walking, when he is jumped and beaten by the members of the New Breed. They cut a promo stating how Steamboat is the Dragon, and so he probably likes fire. They then threaten to set him on fire and begin dousing him with gasoline. Batista and Hardy arrive just in time to prevent the lighting, chasing off the New Breed.

Night of Champions: Miz and Morrison defeat Rhodes and Murdoch to regain the Tag Team Titles. Elijah Burke loses the United States Title back to Matt Hardy. Shelton Benjamin picks a victory over Batista thanks to help from Elijah Burke. Shawn Michaels defeats Hardcore Holly.

Week 6: June 30-July 6: ECW: ECW opens with the New Breed bragging about their accomplishments from the night before. Burke begins a feud with Batista, Miz and Morrison brag up their Tag Team Title victory, and Benjamin challenges Kane for the ECW World Heavyweight Championship at the Great American Bash. Miz and Morrison defeat Colin Delaney and Tommy Dreamer, Burke defeats Stevie Richards, Benjamin defeats the Boogeyman. Kane defeats Bam Neely and is attacked by the New Breed at the end of the show.

Smackdown: Batista answers Burke's challenge and a match is scheduled for next Tuesday on ECW. A backstage promo is shown with the New Breed living a Horsemen lifestyle in the back of a limo with many women, mocking Batista, Ric Flair, and Arn Anderson.

Week 7: July 7-July 13: ECW: ECW begins with Miz and Morrison talking about defeating every team the WWE has to offer, calling themselves the most dominant Tag Team in WWE history. Barry Windham makes his way to the ring to confront Miz and Morrison. Barry talks about what it meant to hold the 4 fingers in the air, and how a group like the Horsemen could never be recreated. Miz and Morrison make fun of the Horsemen's legacy and Windham, spitting in his face. Windham unloads with hard right hands, clearing the ring. He challenges them to a match that night. On ECW, Batista defeats Elijah Burke. Miz and Morrison defeat Barry Windham and Mike Rotundo. Shelton Benjamin and Kane have a contract signing for their World Title Match at the Great American Bash. Shelton cuts a promo about how next week ECW will eminate from Charlotte, NC. He plays up how he is from South Carolina, and from now on the Carolina's will be known as Benjamin Country. The show ends with an attempted New Breed attack on Kane, which he fends off by throwing Miz, Morrison, and Burke over the top rope, and creating a ring of fire around the ring. He then chokeslams Benjamin through the table, and sets the corner pyro off as the show goes off the air.

Week 8: July 14-July 21: ECW in Charlotte, NC: The New Breed come out impersonating the Horsemen. Miz and Morrison talk about defeating Barry Windham, and Shelton gets on the mic and begins going into his Flair routine. Flair's music hits and he comes to the ring with Arn Anderson, Barry Windham, and Dean Malenko. Flair cuts a spirited promo about what it means to be a Horsemen, why the four men in front of him haven't earned it, and why they never will. Flair speaks about the Nature Boy name, and how Benjamin hasn't earned that, and he doesn't know what it means to be the Nature Boy. "I've beaten BUDDY ROGERS, BUDDY LANDELL, and by hell, you couldn't lace my boots Buddy Benjamin! I am the limousine riding, jet flying, kiss stealing, wheeling, dealing son of a gun! You want to make yourself famous at the expense of Ric Flair? Let me tell you, pal. I chose a man to wrestle my final match with. That man's name is Shawn Michaels. If I thought you could give me half the match Shawn Michaels did at WrestleMania, I would take you to school. Burke, Miz, and Morrison are chomping at the bit to get to the Horsemen, but Benjamin suggest discretion be the better part of valor and retreats. The Real Horsemen celebrate in the ring. ECW ends with Kane defeating Elijah Burke. Backstage, Arn Anderson says his goodbyes to his Horsemen comrades and makes his way to his car. Anderson is attacked by the Miz and Morrison at his car, and ECW goes off the air.

Smackdown: Smackdown returns from commercial and Ric Flair's music hits. Flair and Anderson make their way to the ring. Flair is outraged. Flair cuts a promo how he made a promise to his family that he was done wrestling and he's wrestling with keeping that promise. Arn Anderson has his injured arm in a sling and bandages on his head. Anderson cuts a classic cold calculated promo saying There are three things you should never do: 1)Don't step on superman's cape 2) don't mess with a dog in it's own back yard and 3) don't mess with the 4 horsemen! The Miz and Morrison make their way to the ring and go to attack, but Anderson is throwing punches from his good arm, and Flair is in rare form. Flair chops down Miz, gives a whoo, and hooks in the figure four leglock, while Anderson delivers a Double A spinebuster to Morrison. Burke runs to the ring, and Flair unlocks the figure four, and they beg Burke to come get a piece. Burke stops and rolls Morrison and Miz out of the ring and helps them to the back. Flair and Anderson celebrate with Four Fingers in the air. Backstage, Batista laughs with them and congratulates them on their performance. Kane walks in and asks them if they will have his back at the Great American Bash on Sunday. The ECW title match is made into a lumberjack match. Shelton will have Miz, Morrison, and Burke in his corner. Kane will have Flair, Anderson, and Batista in his.

Great American Bash: Shelton Benjamin defeats Kane in a Lumberjack match to win the ECW World Heavyweight title. Shawn Michaels defeats Hardcore Holly. Cody Rhodes and Trevor Murdoch defeat Santino Marella and Carlito for the World Tag Team Titles.

Week 9: July 21-28: ECW: Shelton Benjamin has a victory celebration. There is a large box in the ring. Miz and Morrison tell him they have a special surprise for them, saying they went to FCW where Reid is training. They point to the Titantron. A video plays of them beating and kidnapping Reid Flair. The box lifts and Reid is underneath bound to a chair and gagged. Shelton takes the gag off of him, and prompts him to say who the real nature boy is. Reid says Ric Flair, and Benjamin slaps him. He asks again. This continues until Benjamin gets fed up and delivers his spinning kick, knocking the chair over, and Reid out cold. Kane makes his way out and the New Breed leaves.

Smackdown: Ric Flair is shown backstage saying that he will get revenge on the New Breed. Reid appears bruised and battered, saying no dad, this is my fight! Later in the night, Reid is shown talking to Arn Anderson. Anderson offers to help him. Reid again says that it is his fight. Reid says he will be at ECW on Tuesday night and promises to take care of the New Breed. It is announced that Kane will have his ECW title rematch on Tuesday's ECW.

Week 10: July 28-August 2: ECW: Shawn Michaels, Batista, Cody Rhodes, and Trevor Murdoch walk into Reid Flair's dressing room. Reid insists that he needs to handle this himself. Triple H walks in, and says he regrets that he has things of his own that he needs to take care of as he would also like to be of assistance.. He tells Reid that Ric Flair has taught him a lot, one of those things being the value of strength in numbers. Reid listens to Triple H and welcomes the assistance of Michaels, Batista, Rhodes, and Murdoch. Triple H leaves. Backstage in the New Breed lockeroom Shelton is flipping out. He has a title match with Kane that night, and now there are outnumbered. Burke says he will take care of it. Kane comes to the ring for his rematch. Shelton comes to the ring flanked by Miz and Morrison. The Titantron shows Elijah Burke driving a forklift to the door where Michaels, Batista, Flair, Rhodes, and Murdoch are. Burke leaves the keys in the car and makes his way towards the entrance. Burke comes down to the ring with a big smile on his face, and Shelton goes from being worried to relaxed. As the New Breed work over Kane throughout the match, Shelton gains a comfortable advantage. The Titantron shows Triple H returning to the door where the forklift is parked. Triple H notices the keys in it, gets in, and removes it from the door. Shelton and the New Breed watch as Flair, Batista, Rhodes, and Murdoch come pouring out of the door. Michaels walks out last, smiles at Triple H says, "Thanks buddy." To which Triple H, replies, "No problem." Upon seeing the calvary heading to the ring, Miz, Morrison, and Burke immediately jump into the ring with chairs and attack Kane causing a DQ. They are able to "pillmanize" his ankle right before the group of babyfaces hits the top of the ramp. Kane is in obvious pain as the New Breed retreats through the crowd.

Smackdown: Batista, Michaels, Reid Flair, Cody Rhodes, and Trevor Murdoch make their way to the ring. Reid says there is only one way to resolve this. At Summerslam, they want a 5 on 5 War Games Match.
Week 11: August 3-August 10: Raw: Dusty Rhodes, Barry Windham, and Arn Anderson talk to Reid Flair about how War Games is the most vicious environment in the history of professional wrestling, and that no one is ever the same afterwards. Dusty says that he really doesn't want his son taking part, but the War Games seem to be a right of passage for a Rhodes. Windham argues that Reid has a bright future ahead of him, and not to ruin it by taking part in this match. Anderson says it's one thing when you've been wrestling for years. It's another thing when it's your debut match. I am like an uncle to you, and I don't want to see you do it. Your dad wouldn't want to see you do it either. A vignette plays that shows the history of the War Games.

ECW: Charlie Haas approaches Shelton Benjamin backstage and talks about the history the two have together, saying he wants to be a part of the New Breed and take the fifth place in the War Games match. Shelton appears as though he's considering it, and then asks Miz, Morrison, and Burke what they think. The three New Breed members beat down Haas. Shelton wooo's in his face before the group walks off. The New Breed comes to the ring and accept the War Games Challenge on one condition. If the New Breed win, Ric Flair, Arn Anderson, Barry Windham, Ricky Steamboat, and Dusty Rhodes must bow and kiss the feet of the New Breed. They then introduce their 5th partner for the War Games match, The Samoan Bulldozer, Umaga! Armando Estrada comes to the ring to announce that there is a steel cage hanging over head to show Reid Flair what he is in for at WarGames. He calls for Colin Delaney to come to the ring. Delaney comes out. He says that right now, Delaney will face the Samoan Bulldozer Umaga inside the steel cage, and snaps a cigar. The New Breed and Estrada exit, and Estrada demands that they lower the cage. Umaga tears through Delaney.

Smackdown: Shawn Michaels, Batista, Cody Rhodes and Trevor Murdoch defeat Chavo Guerrero, Bam Neely, Zach Ryder, and Cody Hawkins in a four on four tag match. Cody Rhodes takes the microphone after the match and insists that when they win, Flair, Rhodes, Windham, Steamboat, and Anderson will get five minutes alone in the cage with Shelton Benjamin.

Week 12: August 11- August 18: Raw: Umaga faces Super Crazy in a Steel Cage, and gives him the Colin Delaney treatment. Backstage, DH Smith talks to Reid Flair about how his Dad competed in one War Games match in 1993, left the company 2 months later and said that he would never compete in War Games again. Shelton Benjamin questions Elijah Burke's ability to perform in the role of the enforcer, mentioning his recent losses to Matt Hardy, Batista, and Kane, and his mistake of leaving the keys in the forklift two weeks before on ECW. Elijah replies that if it weren't for him, Miz and Morrison would no longer have their tag team titles, and there is no way Shelton Benjamin would be holding the ECW World Heavyweight title. Shelton looks mad, and says that Burke will face Shawn Michaels tonight, and he expects Michaels to be taken care of the same way that Umaga has taken care of Colin Delaney and Super Crazy. Reid Flair is shown backstage again, and Stone Cold Steve Austin comes to talk with him. Austin says that he was in one War Games match in 1992, and unquestionably, it was like going through hell. "It was that experience that helped me realize that I am the world's toughest S.O.B., and when I got fired by Fed Ex three years later, I knew that if I survived War Games, I could survive anything. Now you have fighting in your blood. Your dad was the greatest wrestler to ever lace up a pair of boots. So you are going to enter the War Games, and you are going to Unleash Hell, and that's the bottom line cause Stone Cold said so. Later that night, Elijah Burke wrestles a hard fought match with Shawn Michaels, but succumbs to Sweet Chin Music. Michaels leaves, and Burke is laying on the mat as they go to commercial. When they return, the New Breed members and Umaga are standing around Burke. Burke makes his way back to his feet, and Umaga delivers a Samoan Spike. Shelton Benjamin hooks in the figure four leglock and begins wooo'ing. Batista, Michaels, Rhodes, Murdoch, Reid Flair, Ric Flair, Arn Anderson, Dusty Rhodes, Barry Windham, and Ricky Steamboat all run to the ring to chase the New Breed members away.

ECW: Shelton Benjamin, Miz, Morrison, and Umaga make their way to the ring to talk about their decision to drop the dead weight. Burke makes his way to the ring with Charlie Haas, Colin Delaney, and Super Crazy. Burke says that it was a mistake to do Benjamin's dirty work for so long, and that the New Breed would not be what it is without him, and was sure to fall apart without him. Benjamin tells him that to be the man, you have to beat the man, whooooo! Burke says they want a four on four match tonight, and Benjamin is sure to get 4-up. Benjamin says that there is a problem with that challenge as his team has five members. He says Reid Flair, make sure you are watching and introduces a returning Big Daddy V. As Burke, Haas, Delaney, and Crazy turn to watch V make his way to the ring, Miz, Morrison, Benjamin and Umaga attack. Just as V hits the ring, Kane's music hits, and the Big Red Machine makes his return to ECW. With Kane's help, the group is able to clear the ring of the New Breed, Umaga, and V. A 5 on 5 match is scheduled for later on that night. Elijah Burke and Kane are the only two members of their team that get any effective offense on the New Breed. The match ends with Charlie Haas in the ring alone with both Big Daddy V and Umaga. Umaga hits the Samoan Spike, and V drops an elbow to get the pin. The announcers highlight how that could be Reid Flair at Summerslam.

Smackdown: As a preview for War Games, Miz and Morrison will face Cody Rhodes and Trevor Murdoch, Batista will face Umaga, and Shawn Michaels will face Big Daddy V. Miz and Morrison defeat Rhodes and Murdoch, Batista defeats Umaga, and Shawn Michaels vs. Big Daddy V goes to a no contest when all the members of both teams get involved in a slugfest. Ric Flair, Rick Steamboat, Dusty Rhodes, Arn Anderson, and Barry Windham again come out and stand victorious with the members of the team.

Summerslam: War Games, The Match Beyond: The veterans are waiting on the side of the ring with Batista, Michaels, Rhodes, Murdoch, and Reid Flair. The match starts with Trevor Murdoch and John Morrison. The New Breed gains the advantage, and sends the Miz into the ring. They double team Murdoch and Cody Rhodes is sent in. With Murdoch beat down, the two focus attention to Cody Rhodes. Then Umaga is sent in. Umaga, Morrison, and Miz destroy Rhodes and Murdoch, until Batista makes his way through the cage. The match begins to even out, with the heels maintaining a slight advantage. The heels send in Shelton Benjamin. The advantage grows, and Shawn Michaels decides to go in. Michaels evens up the sides, giving the babyfaces the first advantage of the night. Big Daddy V makes his way in and begins to destroy what's left of the babyface team, and finally Reid Flair makes his WWE debut. Batista and Big Daddy V square off, Umaga and Shawn Michaels square off, Trevor Murdoch ends up with John Morrison while Cody Rhodes has Shelton Benjamin. Somewhere in the fray, Reid Flair is able to hook the figure four leglock on the Miz, and the Miz surrenders. Big Daddy V, Umaga, Morrison, and the Miz all exit the ring, while Shelton regains consciousness and stands up only to be leveled with Sweet Chin Music. Batista follows with a Batista Bomb. Rhodes and Murdoch hold up Benjamin while Reid motions for the veterans to enter the cage. Dusty Rhodes gives Benjamin a bionic elbow, and Steamboat gives him a hard chop. Windham delivers a DDT, and Anderson gives a Double A spinebuster. Now it is the moment everyone has been waiting for, Flair's turn. Murdoch and Rhodes hold up Benjamin, and Flair cuts a promo in his face letting him know that there will only be one true Nature Boy in the history of Professional Wrestling. No matter who claims the moniker, there is only one Ric Flair. Flair then calls Charlie Haas, Super Crazy, Colin Delaney, Kane, and Elijah Burke to the ring. Haas, Crazy, and Delaney all slap Benjamin. Burke gives him 4 Up. Kane delivers a chokeslam. The icing on the cake comes as Ric Flair hooks in the figure four leglock. His music hits and the 15 babyfaces exit together in celebration of the dismantling of the New Breed Horsemen.

Week 13: August 19 – August 26: ECW: CM Punk cashes in his Money in the Bank briefcase to defeat Shelton Benjamin for the ECW World Heavyweight Title.

2008-05-22T15:38:00.004-04:00

Protecting the Business

2008-05-17T14:06:00.002-04:00

As I mentioned in my last post, I just recently finished the book about Superstar Billy Graham, "Tangled Ropes." One thing that the Superstar talked about quite a bit is how the wrestlers used their carny language (adding "iz" to the middle of words, among other things) to confuse the general public as to what they were talking about, in an effort to "protect the business."

I found a pretty interesting video on youtube today, and it shows "candid" interviews with Gorilla Monsoon, Hulk Hogan, and the Samoans. I can pick up the nuances of "protecting the business" in Gorilla's and Monsoon's sections, and the part with the Samoans is pretty thick - they stick to their character 100%.

It's also pretty interesting that the reporter does her analysis of some of the strikes during the Hogan/Monsoon encounter, trying to "out" the sport as being "fake."

Check it out...

The Superstar

2008-05-08T21:15:00.005-04:00

When I was 12, I picked up Wrestlemania 4. It was on sale at the video store and I got it along with a few other WWF tapes for about $20. They all came in those huge boxes. The ones that are extra big so they could have more area to put the art on and draw your attention.

I remember watching the Don "The Rock" Muraco match and seeing Superstar Billy Graham for the first time. Upon seeing the Superstar, I wondered, "Who the hell is this guy trying to rip off Jesse Ventura and Hulk Hogan? Man was I wrong.

Last Christmas I got an huge addition to my WWE DVD collection. These are like the only thing I ask for at Christmas, and I quickly had over half of them watched. I was on my way to having my whole year's worth of videos watched by January. I knew I had to do something, I had to stop right away.

One of the videos I got was Superstar Bill Graham's documentary, and it came with his autobiography, entitled Tangled Ropes. I told myself I absolutely could not watch any more of the DVDs until I finished reading the Superstar's book.

I really hate reading. I honestly don't read anything besides stuff I see on the internet, and that is mostly strength forums. Sure, I read Bischoff's book last year, but I read that over a vacation. During a real week, I never open a book, so it took me forever to read Tangled Ropes. I started it a few times, but it was very difficult wading through his born again Christian section at the beginning.

Well, this past week, I was on vacation again and decided to work my way through this book. What a story brother! Since watching Wrestlemania 4 all those years ago, I did actually find out that Superstar was the champion between Bruno Sammartino and Bob Bachlund, but I had no idea what a profound influence the Superstar Bill Graham has had on wrestling. This man basically spawned the career of Jesse Ventura and Hulk Hogan both. If the Superstar was never around, we might never have had Hulkamania!

I truly suggest everyone who enjoys documentaries and autobiographies of wrestlers check out both this book and the DVD. Superstar is not a perfect human being. He is full of faults and made a lot of mistakes in his life, similar to Jake Roberts in his drug problems, and similar to the Ultimate Warrior in his poor business decisions. But Superstars story seems to be one with a happy ending.

Although Superstar may have done damage to his wrestling career on his own, he seems to be making the best of his new life by trying to help others. After receiving a liver by donation, he is now trying to spread the word about organ donation.

Put this DVD and book set on your list of items to get - I am sure you will enjoy it. And if you have time, check out this video from the Superstar himself, where he discusses his efforts around organ donation.

Thanks for checking out the PUNDIT.
-NAPALM-
DieselCrew.com
Napalm's Corner

I'm Going to WrestleMania

2008-03-14T15:35:00.001-04:00

My friend won a VIP trip to Mania, and is taking me. More details forthcoming!

Pushing Through

2008-02-26T19:31:00.002-05:00

Professional wrestling, what are you doing to me? I return after a long hiatus and (all humility aside) post an article that I consider to be pretty damn good. How do I follow up? Good question... In a week where XPW decided to rise from the ashes of mediocrity and hold a reunion show, Test gave his opinions on gun control, and Roadkill did something or other, I had to question. Am I back in a wrestling rut? Am I going to disappear for 4 months? Not this time. I am going to attempt to fill the void.

First, let me handle some comments from my last article:
JJ said, “Cena is the best and thanks for saying he’s a winner.”

Well, JJ, I think you’ll notice that many of my 411 colleagues agreed this week, as Cena won Wrestler of the Week voting. Let me make this statement clear right now, the fact that fans that do like Ring of Honor are considered “smart” bothers me. If you were truly smartened up to the business, you would understand that the purpose of any business is to make money, nothing more and nothing less. Eliyahu Goldratt will tell you, that is “The Goal.”

No one is truly smartened up to the business, not even Vince McMahon himself, but I guarantee you that there is no one in the world today that has a better understanding of it than him, because if they did, they would be making a few million dollars, and not armchair booking from their blogs. I think it’s great that Nigel McGuinness found his niche as a heel, and that Kevin Steen is getting a push, but there is no way that anything that ever happens to an individual superstar in Ring of Honor will be bigger than a WWE Superstar earning a main event spot at WrestleMania, and it makes me throw up in my mouth to see 411 writers voting otherwise. Are those writers really the ones who are “smart?”

Guest#3855 said, “Hardy is a loser and Hornswoggle is a winner? You’re freakin' crazy!”

Well, Guest, I am not trying to suggest that the Swag is a more important superstar. I do think that he has found his way into being one of the most popular superstars on the program and is being rewarded with a fitting spot at Mania. Hardy is probably the only guy getting bigger pops than Mr. Swaggle right now, but Hardy should be main eventing. That is why he is a loser. It’s because he broke out and became the hottest thing in the company, and he is doing the same damn thing he did last year. Obviously no one is ready to throw him into the WrestleMania Main Event yet, and whether the reason is lack of faith or politics is moot. Even if Hardy wins MITB, he will not unseat Triple H, John Cena, or the Undertaker for a World title anytime in the near future. If WWE doesn’t capitalize on Hardy while he’s hot, he will go the way of Samoa Joe in TNA. You gotta strike while the iron is hot. Hell, if the AWA had done it with Hulk Hogan, they might be the promotion left standing today.

Wally wrote, “You forgot about Batista. I'd say he's in the loser category right now. They have nothing for him.”

Actually, Wally, I didn’t forget about “The Animal.” I didn’t write about him, but I didn’t forget about him. Even now that it has become apparent that he will be thrown into a meaningless Smackdown vs. Raw showdown with Umaga, I still don’t really have a lot to say about him. Quite frankly, I think that Batista is an arrogant dickbag, and for my 50 dollars, I would like to see him put Umaga over. After all, Umaga has been doing the favor for every major Raw babyface for the past year and a half. Why not reestablish him with a major victory over a major superstar? Batista turns 40 next year. When he debuted, he was fed Kane, so that he was established as a monster. I think it’s about time to pass the torch. There is nothing gained from giving Batista another three World Heavyweight Title reigns. I am of the mindset that Batista is only in pro-wrestling for the money and the glory, and not one bit for the love anyways.

The Glide wrote, “Mad props on the Val Venis love,” and Guest wrote, “What's with the rager for Val Venis???”

I have been a wrestling fan for a long time, and the key to making money as a professional wrestler seems to be having “the look,” being able to deliver the big match, and being good on the stick. Val Venis is three for three. So what’s the problem? He was saddled with a stupid comedy gimmick, and could never break past the midcard. For the past four or five years, Venis has been used to put over anyone and everyone. A rose by any other name would have smelled much sweeter. I shuddered on the night when it was announced that any former Intercontinental Champion could wrestle for the IC title, and Sean Morley once again returned to the Val Venis name. I am sure that it gets a decent pop on house shows, the same way Scotty 2 Hotty got a decent pop ten years after the attitude era, but the difference is that Val Venis was a can’t miss prospect, that was never allowed to shine. Take off the purple tights, lose the name, lose the music and the titantron, move to Smackdown or ECW, and become a main event f’n wrestler. You are too damn good to be anything else.

Jason S. said, “Isn't it getting a little old and pointless to talk about HHH's death grip on the main event and/or title scene?”

Yes, Jason it is old. No, Jason, it’s not pointless. Triple H had his picnic reuniting DX and having some fun with buddy Shawn Michaels for a while, knowing full well that his spot at the top was only on loan. Even while “putting over” John Cena, he took every opportunity to outshine him. When Chris Jericho returned, backstage Triple H was his harshest critic. Triple H will undoubtedly one day have more World title reigns than Ric Flair, and will do whatever else is needed to massage his bloated ego, but frankly, Triple H as World Heavyweight Champion, where every Raw begins with “Time to Play the Game” and a twenty-minute NWO-Hogan-esque promo and concludes with Triple H defeating Jeff Hardy, Mr. Kennedy, and any other up and coming superstar on the roster is not something I enjoy watching. I will not be surprised if Ric Flair defeats Shawn Michaels at WrestleMania and is named number one contender, and loses his career to Triple H at Backlash. It would look nice-ah next to Kane’s mask-ah on the Game-ah’s mantle-ah.

Ok, on to new business.

Smackdown Sucktown:
It was announced that Big Show’s new home is officially on the Smackdown brand of World Wrestling Entertainment. My first thought was good. Smackdown needs some name talent. Especially after the raping they took after the last Draft Lottery. Maybe King Booker would still be in the WWE had he not been moved to Raw. Anywho, looking at the Smackdown roster page is a sad affair. Clumping in the ECW roster only gives you a brand that has Big Show, Great Khali, Mark Henry, and Big Daddy V all working the same monster heel gimmick, to take on monster babyfaces Kane, Undertaker, and Batista. No wonder I don’t watch Smackdown anymore. Finlay and Flair appear on Raw, Gregory Helms is hurt, and Edge, Victoria, MVP, and Jamie Noble are the only other Smackdown talent I remotely give a damn about. It’s almost becoming glorified developmental. Smackdown has announced My Network TV as its new home, which is much more of a coup for the network than for the program, but isn’t a bad thing necessarily. Vince takes a bite in the butt as far as the expense of the move to HD, but I guess rumors are that they can get their Thursday night timeslot back. Don’t underestimate this benefit, as I am one of many with an actual social life, who doesn’t sit at home from 8-10 on Friday’s to see Chuck Palumbo, Jimmy Wang Yang, Deuce, and Domino. Perhaps the head to head competition with TNA will also force WWE to balance their rosters a bit more. I don’t think it will take too much for Smackdown to pull high three’s on Thursday’s and drive TNA off TV.

Bush League Buttsex:
The internet was up in arms with stories of a WWE contracted wrestler appearing in the crowd of a TNA House show. It’s too bad that the WWE contracted talent was Tommy Dreamer, otherwise this could have actually been a story. The man formerly known as the “Innovator of Violence” is pandering in the most recent issue of WWE magazine to get a spot in Money in the Bank. Unfortunately for Tommy, I can think of a number of other wrestlers I would much rather see get the spot. Dreamer’s best days in the WWE were when he wore a New York License Plate version of the Hardcore title, which I can’t find a picture of anywhere (admittedly I didn’t look too hard). Team 3D and TNA’s acknowledgement of Dreamer’s presence screamed we are a distant second. I don’t foresee WWE announcing that Lance Hoyt bought a ticket and is sitting in section 222 and asking if WWE fans would wish to see him in the WWE, to which fans would respond with a rousing chorus of “who’s?” Still, I am sure that the figurative love fest between Brother Ray and Tommy Dreamer served to make both men feel better about themselves.

Mikey Whipwreck V.2.0:
Speaking of Dreamer, his protégé Colin Delaney officially signed with World Wrestling Entertainment, thus furthering the illusion that literally anyone can sign a WWE contract. Now we can count on many more pasty white teenagers showing up on Indy Shows around the country, similarly to how a number of fat hardcore white guys and guys shorter than 5’5” appeared when Mick Foley and Rey Mysterio achieved prominence. Delaney has the pleasure of being WWE’s new Zack Gowen, only the tenacious Delaney will be working with Big Daddy V, Matt Striker, and Tommy Dreamer, rather than Roddy Piper, Vince McMahon, and Hulk Hogan. Still, I gotta give Delaney props. He is living the dream. In 6 months when the storyline dries up, I will be side by side with World Wrestling Entertainment wishing him the best on his future endeavors at NAPA Auto Parts.

The Rock at the Oscar’s:
Quite frankly at this point I would prefer Oscar at the Rockers. What does that mean? I’m not sure. I guess it would be a VH1 reality show about Marty Jannetty and Shawn Michaels living together and having various Oscar’s over for dinner. Oscar de la Hoya, Oscar de la Renta, Oscar Gutierrez, Oscar Peterson, Oskar Schindler, Oscar Wilde, Oscar Roberston, Oscar the Grouch, whomever. Watch and Discuss. Basically, the point is, this is NOT wrestling news. The Rock is no longer a wrestler. Goldberg is no longer a wrestler. Brock Lesnar is no longer a wrestler. Chyna is no longer a wrestler. One of my biggest pet peeves is clicking to my favorite wrestling website and reading the headline that Chyna is hosting a show about Robots or Goldberg is hosting a show about cars. Who gives a shit? However, the fact that the Rock is inducting his father and grandfather into the WWE Hall of Fame IS wrestling news. Unfortunately, for WWE fans who don’t like the sight of the Rock in a Tux, get ready for round two, as Dwayne Johnson will not be dropping any people’s elbows, no matter how loud the “Please come back” and “One more match” chants are during the Hall of Fame Ceremony. In fact, I would expect Dwayne to keep the charisma in his back pocket all together, as the night is not meant to honor him, but rather honor his father and grandfather. FINALLY, THE ROCK HAS COME BACK TO THE WWE is more than out of place at such a ceremony, if you smell lalalalalala, what Tim Haught is cookin’. EDIT: I wrote my scathing editorial prior to John Cena’s comments, but I have to give props to Cena for calling out The Rock on his abandonment of professional wrestling fans. Here we are hanging on to every word he says and everything he does, and he gives us absolutely nothing. Hard not to group him with those aforementioned in my blurb.

Total Nonstop Agony:
Are you f’n kidding me? Two years after his failed attempt to be a professional wrestling manager, and two years after his 15 minutes of pop culture relevance, Johnny Fairplay is going to sign a two-year contract with TNA? I have never seen a company so proficient in killing their own momentum and wasting money. If that was not enough, TNA is punishing the Motor City Machine Guns for refusing to get color in their PPV match against Team 3D and Johnny Devine. I am not going to blindly defend the company or the Guns. The best way to analyze this situation is to rationally break it down. TNA considered this a high profile match. I will go ahead and say, sorry TNA, but if you believe that, part of the problem lies right there. Just because this angle has drug on forever, and will likely start over with a new heavyweight that hates the X Division, Team 3D and Johnny Devine vs. MCMG and Jay Lethal did not add nor subtract any buys to your pay per view. MCMG’s winning the tag titles? Sure. Jay Lethal showing what he has in a classic X Division showdown? No doubt. A watered-down six-man tag match blowing off a tired angle? Not really blade worthy. Let them save the juice for their tag title run. TNA will run an angle like this every three months, which equates to four hairline scars a year. Robert Roode, you have been feuding with Booker T. in the angle that is supposed to make your career for some time now. Prepare to don the Crimson Mask, but win or lose, don’t expect to break through the glass ceiling. TNA wrestlers better pray that they don’t start losing their hair. Oh, and as a side note, what did Lethal get for regaining his X title and being put over? A feud with Sonjay Dutt. Congrats… In more what the hell are they thinking news, Abyss is getting repackaged. Granted he’s been around for a while and they have done all the monster feuds they could do, but c’mon TNA. The Undertaker was hot for over 15 years before they repackaged him as the Bikertaker. How about you let Abyss be over and contend for the World Title. Sting left. Give him Sting’s place.

WWE, We Waste Earnings:
Speaking of wasting money, it would be unfair to castrate TNA without mentioning WWE’s decision to drop 20 million on a one-time appearance of a relatively unknown boxer. Now I see why they call him Floyd “Money” Mayweather. Makes you wonder how much Evander “Real Deal” Holyfield got paid for his SmackDown appearance a few months back. Granted he is past his prime, but at least your average person knows who he is and what he does for a living. That 20 million dollars is equally to 400,000 buys at 50 dollars apiece, and the buys have to come from non-crossover fans who like Mayweather but would have ordered WrestleMania anyways. I am surprised at how many buys his boxing pay per views have done, as I thought the sport was all but dead. Still I question how many new buys Mayweather can translate his boxing popularity into, especially since ESPN has stuck it to the WWE by ignoring the angle altogether.

Raw Thoughts:
Great to see Chris Jericho get the win en route to the Money in the Bank Ladder Match. However, the crowd reaction definitely shows the discrepancy between Y2J and Jeff Hardy. Despite the fact that the win meant absolutely nothing to Hardy, the crowd was firmly behind him for the majority of the match. Don’t overate this match though. A rematch might be great, but this match was sloppy.

I don’t understand the decision to throw a plot twist into the Finlay/McMahon/Hornswaggle saga this close to WrestleMania. Finlay had alluded to a deal between him and McMahon for weeks, and McMahon always squirmed. Apparently, that has been dropped. Hopefully, JBL’s accusations end up being nothing more than a lie intended to protect him from McMahon’s wrath last night. Worst-case scenario involves a rehash of the bastard storyline and Ken Kennedy becoming a McMahon. This storyline was so hot two weeks ago. Throw in JBL and a plot twist and now its just more bullcrap.

How about DH Smith eating a fat piece of squash? I am sure there are many online who are up in arms about Bulldog’s son’s not-so-triumphant return, but it worked for me just fine. Umaga needed reestablished. DH is coming off a suspension, and the so-called can’t-miss-prospect is still young. I would prefer to see him teaming with Cody Rhodes and Bobcore Holly shipped to outer space and left there, but unfortunately I don’t own a rocket.

In my opinion, Lance Cade and Paul Birchill could end up right behind Mr. Kennedy when it comes to being the stars of the future. Speaking of Kennedy, I wouldn’t have believed they could take his awful music away and replace it with music that is more awful, but somehow they accomplished it. Keep the new music, drop the lyrics.

You want a great song? Look no further:

Winners and Losers on the Road To WrestleMania

2008-02-19T15:42:00.005-05:00

After a long hiatus, I must first apologize to my faithful readers (all six of them) for my absence. The Pro Wrestling Pundit disappeared in November, leaving many (or six) to watch reruns of Saturday Night Live and uninspired headlines on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno.

So what led to this writer’s strike? Well, I have stewed over it for three months, but it seems as though now is the time to get over it. Despite the anticipation and excitement, three months after the fact I am left with only one question: What the hell did the WWE do with the return of Chris Jericho?

Obviously, the plan would have been for Cena to remain healthy and handily defeat Randy Orton at the Survivor Series. The next night on Raw, Chris Jericho would return triumphantly, telling fans he was there to save them from Cena. How much would the fans have popped for that?

Instead, from showing him backstage all the way to missing the word Jericho on the Titantron, the mismanagement of Jericho’s return sucked the wrestling life right out of me. Added to that were the facts that Jerry Lawler was defeating Santino Marella, Carlito was running through fictional holes in walls, and Hardbody Harrison was convicted of sex trafficking… Ok, maybe the last one was irrelevant, but still, it was damn hard to write an article.

All around the net, writers were finding things to write about. Jake Roberts went to rehab, and Ron Simmons, Scott Hall, and Sean Waltman soon followed. No word if the New World Snake Nation will be debuting in TNA anytime soon. It just sounds like something they’d do. Oh, and Test retired and unretired. Next thing you know the internet will be buzzing with news concerning Damien Demento? Oh, wait…

While I continued watching, when it came to writing, I couldn’t help but be anything other than indifferent. Big Daddy V and Mark Henry as a team was teased, but never allowed to become the super force it should have. All I could come up with was that fans still have to sit through two separate matches featuring these guys when they go see a Smackdown/ECW show, a more than hearty helping of black monster heel.

Charlie Haas had a brief appearance where he debated being a masked superstar. Jim Ross seemed into it, but I wasn’t sure I could churn out a whole article on the subject. Luckily I didn’t try, as Haas hasn’t been seen since, unless you are an avid Heat watcher.

BobCore Rhodes took home the tag titles, and as with anything else involving Hardcore Holly, I was indifferent.

About the only thing I felt I could truly write about was a cameo by Sunny at Raw’s 15th Anniversary Show, but I was not sure if readers would be enthralled with the onset of my puberty and stories of the many hours spent alone with calendars ripped from the pages of WWE Magazine.

What is a writer supposed to do? Rob Van Dam showed up for 5 minutes to put under Santino Marella, then disappeared into the Titantron sunset. Mick Foley showed up for about 10, but at this stage of the game, who gets remotely excited about a Mick Foley appearance? Ron Killings and Chris Harris are coming, and still I can’t shake the feeling that I just don’t give a shit.

Until last night when I was watching Raw, and I had to ask myself. Pro Wrestling Pundit (as I like to call myself while creating revisionist history), what the hell is it about wrestling that you do care about?

Well the answer certainly wasn’t Ashley. The fact that Ashley’s skank ass came back on Raw is a total downgrade. No matter how much applause Matt Hardy and Paul London get from WWE fans, they can always remember that they got the clap from Ashley.
It also wasn’t Lashley. Bobby Lashley seemed too vanilla to live up to the nickname of Black Lesnar. Well he showed his true colors when he decided that a US title reign, multiple ECW Championship reigns, a main event slot at WrestleMania, and one million dollars was an unsatisfactory professional wrestling career. Imagine how Super Crazy feels. Dear Mr. Lashley, Have fun in MMA douchebag. Hope someone breaks your legs. Sincerely, Tim Haught.

Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. What I care about is getting my money’s worth. What I care about are superstars who will work hard and bust their ass to entertain me. What I care about are superstars who can make a fluid sentence on the mic, and then back it up in the ring. Well, those things and Sunny, as aforementioned. Anyways, disregarding Val Venis and Victoria, who should be ECW Champion and My Wife, respectively (I hope you guys know what respectively means, or you are gonna think I am hella-gay), I present to you the winners and losers on the Road To Wrestlemania.

Loser: Ken Kennedy
While the Jeff Hardy train continued rolling, Ken Kennedy got a clean victory over Shawn Michaels. Were things looking up? Nope, not really. Michaels got his heat back relatively quickly, and since then, Kennedy has been in midcard purgatory. A clean loss to Ric Flair is all the momentum he has going into Mania, and rather than a meaningful singles match, he has a chance to repeat as Mr. Money in the Bank. Unfortunately for Kennedy, it seems as though that ship has sailed. I don’t know anyone that views Kennedy as the next big thing at the moment. Chances are, right before his next push to the next level, he will get hurt again.

Winner: Big Show
When Big Show announced he was returning, my immediate thought was to have him cost Triple H his shot at the Rumble and his shot to main event WrestleMania, leading to a one on one match between them. Instead WWE waited to debut the Show until No Way out, but it didn’t hurt him in the least. This story with Floyd Mayweather might not be exciting to me, but Big Show went from walking out on Vince McMahon and Donald Trump last year to getting all the mainstream media attention WrestleMania will garner this year. Too bad now that Mysterio is hurt, Show can’t convince Hogan to return and stand by Mayweather’s side, to really draw money and mainstream attention.

Loser: Mickie James
James seemed to be the superstar with the most legitimate shot of knocking of the Glamazon. Instead, she has been on the jobber world tour, losing so much to Phoenix that it brought her to tears on Raw. With Maria showing her goods in Playboy and the return of Candice Michelle, she falls further back down the totem pole, and will likely only be seen at Mania if a horrible women’s gimmick match is booked. Apparantely each time she comes out and the crowd pops, no one in the back is watching.

Loser: Santino Marella
Another superstar reeling from the impact of Maria’s Playboy decision is Santino Marella. Now forgive me for being visionary, but I looked at this storyline as a real opportunity for Santino. Instead, the WWE went down the same road they have traveled with Marc Mero. I can’t speak for Marella’s in-ring credentials, but on the stick, there is no one more entertaining than him currently in the WWE. So what do you do? Saddle him with Carlito. I suppose the idea was similar to putting Billy Gunn’s “athleticism” with Road Dogg’s “mic skills,” but thus far it has fallen on deaf eyes and ears. When Santino and Carlito were put together and a few people popped. Those who were too stupid to understand the current state of the WWE Tag Team Division, that is. Carlito’s decision to stay in the WWE after half-assing the majority of his time in the WWE doesn’t seem to be working out the way he intended. Maria and Santino have been an item for quite some time in the WWE. As soon as the internet began reporting the possibility of Maria in Playboy, I would have had Santino ask her to marry her, with the proposal coinciding with her Playboy decision. When Maria announces the offer, Santino vehemently protests, telling her that it’s him or Playboy. He then softens, drops to one knee, and asks for her hand in Maria Marella Matrimony. The next week, we are cordially invited to their nuptials. Maria suggests that she had always dreamed of posing for Playboy, however she loves Santino. If she respects his wishes of not posing in Playboy however, he should respect her desires for him to clean up his act and essentially become a fan favorite. Marella takes her hand and delivers a vicious STO on the altar, grabs the mic and begins to berate her, calling her a slut for even considering Playboy. Marella is now a more serious heel, with comic undertones. Name your babyface (Jericho, Hardy, shit somebody push Val Venis), and you have a hot feud and a match for WrestleMania. Instead, Santino will likely slap the mat while Maria has her ass handed to her by the Glamazon.

Loser: Shelton Benjamin
Shelton Benjamin received a new home on ECW, and the Gold Standard appeared to be ready for big things. If looking like “Natural” Butch Reed is the key to getting you off heat and onto another brand, grab the peroxide. Shelton is undoubtedly the most athletic superstar in all of professional wrestling, as evidenced by how 75% of the MITB highlight reel featured him, and he hasn’t even participated in all of them. Benjamin looks to be on his way to Money in the Bank yet again this year, which of course is better than not appearing at all. However, up until Chavo Guerrero won his first World Title (if you can call the ECW title that), it appeared as if a Shelton/Punk ECW World Title match was the logical choice for Mania, and undoubtedly had the potential to steal the show and establish both men as the future of the company. Instead Benjamin will add a few extra highlights to his resume and continue to languish until the company figures out how to make a ton of money with him.

Loser: Chris Jericho
Coming off a huge pop that one would have thought at the time solidified him as a main event player, Chris Jericho went to Raw the following week to wrestle a lackluster match with Santino Marella. By all means, the Orton storyline was not going as well as it would have with John Cena at the helm. Jericho wrestled Umaga in a match that he won, but looked lucky in doing so. A year ago, that would have been worthwhile, but Umaga is nothing more than main event job fodder these days. Jericho is out of position to be World Champion, and takes a boot from JBL to solidify that. It didn’t take long for JBL to bring his new manboobs out in his feud with the Ayatollah of Rock N’ Rollah. The Wrestling Gawd and his mammaries choked the hell out of Jericho on Raw to relatively no reaction. In fact, just about everything JBL has done, from calling out Jericho’s kids to having a ton of pyro go off for 10 minutes, to recently attacking Hornswaggle has gotten no reaction. JBL JackieGayda’d a bulldog at the Rumble, sending Chris into overdrive to save the match. To JBL’s credit, their Raw blowoff match was actually good, but too little too late. Jericho will be fortunate to be in Money in the Bank this year, and stands little to no chance of winning the match.

Winner: Edge
All it took for Edge to take his rightful place back at the top of the Smackdown Mountain was stealing Doink’s gimmick. Rey Mysterio wasn’t exactly the most convincing challenger for him at the Rumble or No Way Out, but it doesn’t matter as long as a long awaited Edge/Undertaker showdown is a go. You may remember people clamoring for this one a few years back; before Edge dropped his match at WrestleMania 23 and both were undefeated. Even without that angle to work, this match should be one for the ages as WWE’s only real heel and their top babyface square off at the pinnacle of both of their careers. Yes, despite his age, I think that the Undertaker started peaking about a year and a half ago and will remain hot until he hangs it up, and this upcoming title reign will be more significant than his post Wrestlemania 13 reign or any other reign he has had thus far.

Loser: Ric Flair
When Ric Flair returned to announce he would NEVER RETIRE, it seemed we had a storyline for the ages. When Vince appeared to suggest that Flair’s next loss would be his last, it seemed intriguing. It was apparent that Flair would get one last run with one of three world titles, and when he finally dropped it, he would gracefully step away from the sport to which he has given so much. Yet, as the New Year approached, it became more apparent that Flair wasn’t heading towards one final run as champion. The storyline began to fizzle. Flair would steal matches from a number of up and coming superstars, serving to do nothing more than add a sense of predictability to his matches. For those young fans that weren’t around 20 years ago to see Flair in his prime, they are likely cheering MVP and Kennedy in their futile efforts to unseat the Nature Boy and send him packing. Unfortunately, a rub like that will not be given to a superstar that needs it. Instead, it is looking like HBK will add another notch in his belt by retiring Naitch. A Naitch Notch if you will. God, I sound like Dusty Rhodes on the Muthaship. Forget the image of Ric Flair holding the big gold belt one last time. Forget the fanfare of him walking that aisle at Mania to pass the torch, and the emotional moment afterwards. Forget any possibility that Sting makes his first WWE appearance to make the match even that much more intriguing since it isn’t for the title. Flair will wreck his body one last time, to lose one last match after a strand of cheap wins he has accumulated that are relatively meaningless. WWE hasn’t dropped the ball this hard since the Invasion. I just pray that Batista doesn’t somehow end up in this one.

Loser: Jeff Hardy
At Armageddon, everyone got excited, as it appeared Jeff Hardy had broken through the glass ceiling. 3 months later, I have a more realistic perspective. Jeff Hardy got a few turns with the mic, and despite his horrible voice and tendency to say everything the exact same overstated yet emotionless way, somehow endeared himself more to the audience. Hey, I can get into the guy as long as he’s not strung out and painting his body in glow in the dark paint. Jeff Hardy defeated Umaga in a very underrated cage match that made him the hottest thing in the company. Jeff followed his fantastic cage performance with a crazy ass dive from the Raw set onto Randy Orton. I marked, saying this is the best the WWE has done at creating a new main eventer in a long time. Rumors even started that Jeff Hardy might win the belt at the Royal Rumble. Too bad that pushing the most over guy in the company to a World title puts a kink in the plans of the most having sex with the owner’s daughter guy in the company. Hardy put on a great match at the Rumble, but fell to the randomness of the RKO, which WCW did a great job of putting over its ability to come out of nowhere, but WWE has not. Then, Hardy is the last man to enter the Elimination Chamber but is no match for the Cerebral Assassin, the Game, The King of Kings, the guy who will win 40 world titles by the time he finally hangs up the boots, Triple H. Hardy is the favorite to win Money in the Bank this year. Maybe you can win a world title at Summerslam Jeff. That is of course if you head to a brand without Triple H, John Cena, or the Undertaker. The only way Hardy ends up with a win, is if he wins MITB and cashes it in that night against the winner of the Triple Threat.

Winner: Hornswaggle
Many people on the Internet continue to bitch about Hornswaggle. Too bad that the little bastard’s pops are bigger than almost anyone else’s. No matter what you think of the interactions with his father, his feud with Khali, or his midget battle royal (which was priceless, btw), Horny is established as one of the most popular superstars on the roster, and that has directly rubbed off onto his big buddy Finlay.

Loser: Finlay
Unfortunately for Finlay, becoming a top face is not easy to come by. Just when it seemed undoubtable that Finlay and Vince were headed for a WrestleMania showdown that would have made Finlay’s popularity reach unimaginable levels, John Bigtits Leyfield sticks his, well, bigtits into things. Finlay was receiving one of the most genuine fan reactions in the WWE in sometime, with both internet smarks and marks alike wanting to see him succeed. Now instead of a classic confrontation with McMahon, he is lined up for a standard knock down drag out midcard match with a guy who isn’t eliciting any fan reaction whatsoever. Mr. Leyfield, please go back behind the Smackdown announcing booth, and let McMahon and Finlay handle their business on their own.

Winner: Triple H
Triple H has dominated the Raw brand since his return at Summerslam, and continued dominating the brand in Cena’s absence. Whether his actions made him a heel or face, it didn’t seem to matter. Triple H was sure to position himself to be the most important guy on the show. Whether reuniting DX fifty times or bludgeoning William Regal or the languishing Umaga, The King of Kings was sending the message he was ready to get back on the throne. On the road to WrestleMania Triple H beat Snitsky, Mark Henry, even got to destroy the old TitanTron. Despite missing two weeks of Raw due to a family emergency and being far from the most over guy in the match, he dominated the Elimination Chamber at No Way Out, and got to pedigree both of his challengers on the most recent edition of Raw. Basically get ready to see the same guy that buried RVD, Kane, and Booker T back on your television’s come April. This time however, it will be Randy Orton, Ken Kennedy, and Jeff Hardy who feel his wrath.

Winner: John Cena
Huge props to the WWE for working the entire internet and creating probably the greatest moment in Royal Rumble history. Smarks can bitch and moan as much as they want, but I am one who is happy to see Cena return earlier than expected. The guy is a workhorse, and just based on crowd reaction alone is always controversial and entertaining. Plus, anyone that keeps that gold strap off Triple H is fine in my book. Not many come out on top of Cena, but no one gets destroyed in the process. The Game-ah cannot say the same-ah.

Loser: Randy Orton
Obviously WWE does not have faith in Randy Orton to put butts in the seats, as this is the second time they have thrown a third element into his World title match at WrestleMania.

Not sure how so many can’t miss prospects and can’t miss storylines came nowhere near the mark on the Road to WrestleMania. The Showcase of the Immortals could have been all that much more spectacular with a more visionary focus and some creative long term booking. Instead, outside of the two main events, you might as well call this the Showcase of the Glorified midcarders, as never before has it been so apparent leading into a WrestleMania how bad writing and bad booking have hindered the breaking of the glass ceiling. Will the lack of momentum for so many superstars effect buy rates? Most likely not. It’s WrestleMania for God’s sakes.

The Black Scorpion

2008-02-17T13:43:00.001-05:00

Is it Possible? Could Finlay be a top Face?

2008-02-11T22:24:00.000-05:00

Tonight on Raw we have seen the solidifying of the feud between Finlay and Mr. McMahon. Historically, Mr. McMahon feuds with one of the top faces in the company. Can this mean that they are considering Finlay one of the top babyfaces?

In recent years, Mr. McMahon has only spent significant time in storylines with some of the top babyfaces at the time.

When Hogan returned, Mr. McMahon was all over his case.

Vince feuded with DX to build their popularity once more.

When Lashley got one of his biggest pushes, it was spurred by a heated angle against Mr. McMahon that culminated in Vince's head being shaved.

Now, we see Finlay smashing McMahon in the head with a shillelagh, and McMahon threatening Finlay with possible dismissal.

Sure - this face-off is logical. McMahon is constantly riding Hornswoggle's ass. Finlay has come to the aid of the shortest adult McMahon about half a dozen times. It's only a matter of time until McMahon's ire gets the best of him and he goes after Finlay.

Yet still it surprises me to see McMahon investing his time in a guy like Finlay. No disrespect meant to Finlay, but the guy isn't exactly known for being at the top of the title picture...

Is this an effort to build the stardom of another member of the roster and to deepen the Raw talent pool?

Is this merely a contract obligation to Finlay being met by Vince?

Is this an attempt to slowly steer McMahon away from the seemingly never ending angle in which he has found himself with Hornswoggle, his illegitimate son?

To tell you the truth, I don't think any of these possibilities are what we are really seeing.

While I'd be happy to see a long-time veteran like Finlay get a push, it is just too hard for me to believe in this angle.

I'm getting a strange vibe from this whole deal.

Let's face it - Finlay is not one of the top babyfaces.

Finlay is not getting a huge face push.

I smell HEEL turn.

At No Way Out, we're all getting swurved - Finlay will turn on Hornswoggle and hand him a beating worse than the one King Kong Bundy administered to Little Beaver at Wrestlemania III.

What do you think?

-NAPALM-

Royal Rumble Backdrop

2008-01-28T21:57:00.001-05:00

Is it just me or was the backdrop annoying as hell at the Royal Rumble last night?

If you caught the Royal Rumble last night, you saw that the backdrop, the area of the arena directly behind the ring, was not the normal sea of the audience like usual. Instead, as is very common for broadcasts originating from Madison Square Garden, the walkway and the doorway were heavily lit.

I found this lighting to be extremely annoying and distracting throughout both the matches and the over-the-top Royal Rumble contest for several reasons.

I believe that the producers eventually realized they made a huge mistake with the layout of the lights. What other reason could be behind the random adjusting and panning of the camera throughout the Rumble match?

I sincerely hope that when WWE returns to Madison Square Garden for its next Pay-per-View, they make the necessary adjustments to ensure the qualify of the background is good enough and does not distract the viewers at home. The 2008 installment was my least favorite Royal Rumble of the last 10 years, and I can honestly say it had nothing to do with the quality of the matches - I simply could not take my eyes off the terrible backdrop that the epic battles were fought against.

-NAPALM-

Head-to-Head Numbers For TNA versus ROH

2008-01-26T12:55:00.000-05:00

Last night, TNA and ROH were both running in the Dayton, OH area.

TNA ran Hobart Arena in Troy, with the following results:
Motor City Machine Guns defeated Petey Williams & Elix Skipper Sharkboy defeated Cowboy James Storm Awesome Kong defeated Jackie Moore to retain the Knockouts Championship AJ Styles and Tomko defeated LAX to retain the Tag Team Championship HotShot Johnny Devine defeated Black Machismo Jay Lethal to retain the X Division Championship Booker T defeated Robert Roode Kurt Angle defeated Samoa Joe to retain the Heavyweight Championship

at the same time, ROH ran a show at the Montgomer COunty Fairgrounds in Dayton: Briscoes defeated Matt Cross & Jigsaw Claudio Castagnoli defeated Adam Pearce Champion Erick Stevens defeated Davey Richards and Austin Aries in a three way BJ Whitmer & Brent Albright defeated Delirious & El Generico. Daizee Haze defeated Lacey Roderick Strong & Rocky Romero defeated Jimmy Jacobs & Joey Matthews. Bryan Danielson defeated Tyler Black ROH World Champion Nigel McGuinness defeated Chris Hero inside a Steel Cage to retain his title

Now, which of these shows do you think drew the most fans?
While I have no numbers as far as paid tickets versus papered, early reports are that TNA drew about 1500 to their show, while ROH drew a house of only about 500.
I just wanted to put these numbers into perspective a little bit.
Last week (a Friday actually), I wrestled on the HWA card in Dayton. I think they drew less than 100, but for the sake of argument here, I'm going to round it up. This show featured a number of ROH regulars, such as BJ Whitmer and Chris Hero.
I have wrestled on shows for DCW in the Dayton area (Piqua and Springfield) that have done around 200 fans. The only people on those shows with ROH experience were the Irish Airborne.
The numbers for those TNA and ROH shows really caught my attention, because an independent promotion using no "name" wrestlers to draw can get about half of what ROH does in the same area. In addition, a company with a presence in every household in the nation via cable television, and using former WWE stars, could only do 1500 - not even enough to compete with ECW house shows at Hara Arena back in 1999-2000 - and only about five times what the independent promotion with no television outlet draws.
To me, this really puts "indy wrestling" into perspective. When an independent company can draw comparatively with the promotion the internet fanbase claims to be the "Number Two" company in the US, it becomes a lot easier to see why there is no money in this business the way it is currently structured and ran.
It also shows just how far ahead of ROH that TNA really is. ROH might make a good chunk of money selling DVDs (and putting on a good product), but from what I have read they have yet to crack 10000 buys for any of their PPVs. While TNA certainly isnt competitive with the WWE and UFC in the PPV market (both of them regularly picking up a minimum of 100000 buys), with only 30000 per show, that is more than three times what ROH is doing. With drawing a house three times as large, maybe internet wrestling fans should rethink a bit about what they base their opinions on.
You might watch TNA and think it sucks... but three times as many people seem to be willing to lay down their money and watch as opposed to ROH.
Food for thought...

Sunday Update:
According to reports, an independent Lucha Libre show out drew ROH head to head on Sasturday night in the Chicagoland area. The results from the show at the Congress Theatre are:
- Jay Jensen defeated Acid
- Tigre Oriental defeated Silueta Azul
- Great Malaki DCO Fuzio
- Bazooka & Angel de la Muerte defeated Impacto & Pentagano
- Slayer & Principe Franky defeated Guerrerito del Futuro & Aguila del Azteca
- LA Park & Rey Misterio Sr. defeated Dr. Wagner Jr. & Infernal
Supposedly this show sold out the Congress Theatre, which holds 3000 people. Much like the Friday night shows, I do not have any info on papered versus paying fans. ROH, which does run Chicago Ridge on a regular basis, usually does between 800-1200 fans for their shows there.

Ultimate Warrior - Crossing the Line?

2008-01-24T21:33:00.000-05:00

The Ultimate Warrior was one of my favorite wrestling characters growing up. I have tried my best to take his comments in stride so that his current actions and opinions did not tarnish my memory of him as a wrestler, but I have pretty much lost all respect for him following comments that he has supposedly posted on his blog.

Currently, I am unable to log onto his blog in order to view it. Whether it is a pay site, a membership-only site, or if the traffic bandwidth has just simply been overridden - I am not sure, but when trying to get onto the blog section of his website, I get an "Error 404" message. However, according to a big gossip/celebrity site, TMZ, the Warrior has apparently made some very harsh statements about Heath Ledger and also Hulk Hogan.

This is the link to read the quotes from the Warrior's latest comments, as reported by TMZ: Click here.

Like I said, I have tried to take the Warrior's often bigoted and harshly negative statements with a grain of salt, but there's only so much sodium you can handle when someone rattles off this kind of trash.

Hopefully some of you will have better luck getting onto the Warrior's blog and reading it first hand. If so, by all means come back and make a comment here!

-NAPALM-

The good Stuff

2008-01-14T02:11:00.000-05:00

Body

Booker T Calls Hulk Hogan the N Word

2008-01-09T12:15:00.000-05:00

On the June 24, 1996 Nitro, Harlem Heat defeated Lex Luger and Sting to capture their fifth WCW World Tag Team Championship. Prior to defeating Luger for the title, Booker got carried away during a televised interview, calling out Luger as well as World Champion Hulk Hogan.

Match of the Month: January

2008-01-07T22:17:00.000-05:00

This is a lumberjack match on August 17, 1994 that Owen Hart initially won and was announced as World champion but then reversed due to interference. Owen had originally won the match and title at 3:06 after Jim Neidhart interfered as Owen was caught in the Sharpshooter and clotheslined the champion - however several of the lumberjacks and other officials had the finish replayed on the big screen so the referee could see what had happened; the match was ordered to continue. I am of the mindset that this should be a recognized title win, and Owen Hart should be known as a former World Champion, albeit a brief one.

Can YouTube Help a Wrestler's Career?

2007-12-22T07:49:00.000-05:00

Youtube.com lists more than 60 million videos and has over 500,000 user accounts. (Source) The ability for anyone with a computer and video camera to reach a multitude of personalities with one message by using youtube.com is just about unparalleled on the internet. Is this the route to take to get noticed by the big wrestling promotions? Could a former wrestler with an old tired gimmick be using youtube.com as an attempt to revive his career? You be the judge.
I rarely log onto the WWE website, because I am too busy with my own websites that I contribute to, but apparently around the time of Raw's 15th Anniversary, the WWE featured Damien Demento in a fan vote that decided the wrestler who would take the title "15 Minutes of Fame." Essentially it was a poll to see which wrestler had the weakest impact in the history of Raw. Damien Demento took the title, garnering over 40% of the votes.

Damien Demento is a name from the past, so if you are a relatively new fan, here is Demento's wiki. Once you see his image, below, it might jog your memory. If not, then it's pretty easy to understand why he has been voted as being easily forgettable.

Demento, whose real name is Phil Theis, is on a spree now, putting up many videos on his views of the business. The series started with this video right here:

Now he's got over 500 subscribers listed on his profile page, many of whom are posting replies to his videos, and really giving him a hard time.

Demento has accomplished several things with his posted videos.

He has stated the truth.

He has stated his views.

and

He has generated a following.

He has generated true heat with many youtubers.

While he has been able to do these things, he has also possibly opened up an avenue for others to follow who want to break into the business and those who want to get back in.

If I were still interested in a career in Professional Wrestling, you'd better believe that I would be utilizing YouTube.com to my fullest capacity. My most powerful weight training routines would be posted on YouTube. My best power moves, bumps, and promo's in the ring would be going up as well. And for sure I would see to it that my girlfriend would be taping my matches at my house shows, attempting to get the full measure of my pops and heat recorded for playback for all the youtubers to experience. Who knows, a road agent or talent scout for WWE, TNA, or Ring of Honor might just log onto YouTube and see my video. Make the right impression and it could spur them to find out more about the athlete he or she sees.

To conclude, I urge you to take a look at Demento's video library on his profile page. He's got a lot to say about the business, and most of it makes sense.

Why the hell he doesn't look at the camera while he's taking footage is beyond me. It seems like many of his responses are written down on his monitor so that he makes his statements clear. he also may just be trying to stay in character. Even though his wiki and his videos say he is not interested in returning to wrestling, you just have to wonder.

Is Demento trying to send a message to WWE that he is the Wild Card they need to bolster their TV ratings? Can the heat he has generated over the web be transferred onto the TV screen? Maybe his youtube videos and the poll he won really mean Demento should come back for another "15 Minutes of Fame."

-NAPALM-
Napalm's Corner

Match of the Month: December

2007-12-14T10:41:00.000-05:00

WCW debuted Shane Douglas and Johnny Ace as tag team of skateboarders known as The Dynamic Dudes. Since neither Ace nor Douglas knew how to skateboard, the fans saw through the gimmick and refused to buy into it. Jim Cornette, who was managing The Midnight Express (Bobby Eaton and Stan Lane) at the time, decided to manage the duo to help them get over. When Eaton and Lane did not approve, they forced a match between the two teams with Cornette remaining neutral at ringside. He ended up turning on Douglas and Ace and the teams feuded for a couple of months. The Cornette turn was to have established The Dynamic Dudes as a top babyface tag team, but the turn backfired and made The Midnight Express more popular than they already were.

Never Say Never, Oooh Yeah!

2007-12-13T12:03:00.000-05:00

YouTube won't let us embed this one, but you can see it at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJCQZW_FdLY

My Top 10 Favorite Raw Moments

2007-12-10T17:24:00.000-05:00

Well folks, tonight's the night. This has been built up for quite a while and I admit that I'm actually looking forward to watching RAW tonight. I'm sure this is one the WWE will be going all out for, and many surprise appearances will be in store. WWE.com has been counting down RAW's greatest moments of the last 15 years. I'd like to share my favorites with you…

10. Intercontinental Title Battle Royal

This was the 20 Man Battle Royal for the vacant Intercontinental Title from 1993. While Bobby Heenan's Bastion Booger jokes would have been reason enough to rank this #10, this would be the shot in the arm of the singles career of Razor Ramon (aka Scott Hall.) He and Rick Martel would co-win this and meet next week for the title with Razor coming out on top. That win was the first of several Intercontinental Title reigns for "Da Bad Guy," and while Scott Hall is nothing short of sad nowadays, he was one of WWE's major players in the early years of the Raw era.

9. ECW Invades (Part 1)

This may not seem like that big of a deal now with ECW as a 3rd Brand, but tuning into Raw during the attitude era and seeing Paul Heyman was a pretty big deal at the time. ECW was invited to show up and give WWE fans a taste of extreme, as ECW stars wrestled each other in 3 matches of the Raw telecast. It was pretty surreal seeing The BWO, Little Guido, Taz, Mikey Whipreck, Tommy Dreamer, and D-Von Dudley on Monday night programming. The highlight of this, of course, was Sabu appearing and jumping off of the RAW letters in the entrance way onto Team Taz. I, for one, was very excited to find out that this angle will be a featured as of the 15th Anniversary Best of Raw DVD coming out later this month.

8. Edge's Birthday

One of my favorite backstage segments EVER… Edge, Christian, Kurt Angle, and Triple H sitting around in a locker room celebrating Edge's birthday. What made this so awesome? Theme music played via kazoo by Christian with Edge covering the vocals. This continued on for a few more weeks with the Canadian duo paying homage to Chris Benoit and Crash Holly using this method. For this initial segment, however, these four played off of each other perfectly, and was one of the early stages of developing Edge & Christian's personalities.

7. Replay of Hart/Smith from In Your House

My memory isn't kicking as to when this actually occurred, but it was sometime between the night after and two weeks after the December 95 In Your House Pay Per View. It was pretty awesome of them to do this, as they aired the WWE Championship Match between Bret Hart and The British Bulldog in its entirety. It doesn't hurt that the match was pretty damn good, too.

6. Mike Awesome wins Hardcore Title

The Hardcore Title, held by Rhyno, was under 24/7 Rules at the time. Rhyno is shown walking backstage when all of a sudden he gets blindsided by Mike Awesome who promptly pins him to win the Hardcore Title. Why was this so important? Mike Awesome was a member of the WCW roster. This Again, my memory isn't the best but I think he laid Rhyno out with a chair then put him through a table. Regardless, this is what kicked off the WCW Invasion, and while that failed in the end, this moment was at least pretty intriguing.

5. DX Parodies The Nation

One of the all time classics. Jason Sensation playing Owen Hart, Triple H as the Crock, and X Pac as Mizark Henry were all very humorous. While this opened up a can of worms to let them think they could recreate the awesomeness of this by doing impersonations of the Corporation and more recently The McMahons again, this was something that I remembered and people were talking about for a very long time.

4. ECW Invades (Part 2)

This almost would have ranked higher on my list had it not turned into "The Alliance" by the end of the show, but the night that Tommy Dreamer and Rob Van Dam debuted on Raw was pretty sweet. Kane & Chris Jericho were facing Lance Storm and Mike Awesome of WCW when they attacked. Members of the Raw roster (The Dudleys, Tazz, Justin Credible, Rhyno, and Raven) came to make the save, only to realize that they were all former ECW wrestlers and lay the boots to Jericho & Kane while Paul Heyman reveals it all as an ECW Invasion. For me, this was one of the most unbelievable moments I had witnessed in wrestling. They were sitting on a gold mine with this, but somehow they managed to screw things up royally. Just like they did again in 2006...

3. Lita & Trish Main Event Raw

These last 3 are kind of feel good moments for me. Lita and Trish Stratus had countless battles between one another and at this point were capable of putting together a pretty kick ass match. The bookers had a pretty good feeling that they would and let them go out there and close out the show in December 2004. The feel good moment stemming from this is the faith in these two to run with the ball. They delivered, and while Lita fucked up her neck in the process, she beat Trish to regain the Womens Title. While Lita winning the title initally from Stephanie McMahon in the Main Event of Raw in 2000 felt pretty good too, this felt a little more special headlining the show considering there was no one in the match named McMahon.

2. Eddie Guererro Tribute

While his death was a tragedy, the Raw where they paid tribute to Eddie was a special night. Seeing Raw stars vs Smackdown stars was a treat, as was Chris Benoit going over cleanly on Triple H. The match that stood out, however, was Shawn Michaels vs Rey Mysterio. They had a great match, and Shawn did the selfless thing by putting Rey over clean. To me, that win helped legitimize Mysterio as being able to hang with Main Eventers on his way to winning The Royal Rumble and eventually the World Title.

1. Mick Foley wins World Title

This was the ultimate feel good moment, as nobody saw it coming, or at least until they posted it on Wwe/f.com and Eric Bischoff blurted it out on Nitro. Foley had already gotten screwed over by the Rock at Survivor Series and Rock Bottom, and got screwed one more time this night by Shane McMahon in a match against Triple H. Frustrated, Foley did the only thing he could... hold Shane McMahon hostage in order to get one more rematch with Rock later that night. After some help from DX, the unthinkable happened, and Mrs. Foley's baby boy was the WWE Champion. Contrary to what Bischoff believed, it did in fact put some asses in seats, and some viewers on the TV.

A lot has happened in the last 15 years, but Monday Night Raw is still around, and will most likely be around another 15 years from now. I'm looking forward to seeing what they end up doing for this, to see will become of the Evolution Reunion, to see if Carlito will win the Intercontinental Title as part of the agreement for him to stick around, to see the return of Sunny, to see what will most likely be the second coming of the Gimmick Battle Royal… WWE can easily bounce back from Thursday's ratings loss with a good number here. There's enough hype surrounding Raw tonight. Here's to hoping they deliver, and here's to hoping for one more feel good moment for Monday Night RAW...

Soup Du Jour: I'm actually excited!

2007-12-03T22:26:00.000-05:00

How are you all? Doing well I hope! Because FINALLY I can say that the WWE!

I would like to physically show you how nice it was to see Jericho sell the RKO! Then I told myself that Y2J had been selling "diamond cutters" since Lil' Randy was a nut stain on old Cowboy Bob's saddle! As a matter of fact it was actually nice to see someone in the WWE other than Jeff Hardy look speedy, svelte, and small...but actually compete with the "big dogs".

Speaking of that frankly, how bad of a message can Snitsky send. In this age of steroid speculation how is a larger than life individual with body acne supposed to not raise an eye brow? I AM NOT CONVICTING ANYONE OF USING OR ABUSING, but just stating a point that crossed my mind.

I hope that this supposed boom that Linda McMahon spoke of earlier this year is the revalation of smaller is better! Spearheading the way hopefully be Y2J and his match with Jeff Hardy at The Rumble being the begining of this new phase all things pending. Y2J, Hardy, Mr. Kennedy, Randy Orton, and (hopefully the rumors maybe true even though its as slim as an ice cube's chance in hell) a slim, sleek, Rock! I am not necessarily saying kill off the Umaga's and Great Khali's of the world. Just use them spairingly...they will come in use soon enough!

Well keep dreaming, Baltimore just scored!

Why Does Tag Team Wrestling Suck Now, When It was So Good Then?

2007-11-30T22:48:00.000-05:00

As the independent scene boomed with the corresponding wrestling boom of the late 1990s, a popular trend on the indy scene emerged – two guys would travel together. They probably had a tag team name and were an acceptable tag team that needed seasoning. However, on one show they would team, and on another show across town, they would be embroiled in a blood feud.

What?

See, in the thrifty world of independent wrestling, promoters would be willing to bring in two guys to fight each other, expecting them to have a god match because “they know each other, and have probably wrestled before”. While this certainly allows individuals to improve because they get another chance to be in front of a crowd, it does not make them any better in the long run because they do not get a chance to test themselves against wrestlers from other areas. Two wrestlers traveling up and down the road together and who have each other well scouted and know each other’s weaknesses and strengths are more likely to fight each other than team up.

In my opinion, tag team wrestling is currently at its lowest point since its inception, and there does not appear to be an end in sight. I think the current lackluster field of tag teams (and thus tag team matches) stems from a number of factors.

The 1990s saw an ending of fresh teams that had existed since the territory days. Tag team divisions were filled out with two guys under contract to the company being paired together to form teams. The end of territory wrestling saw the end of teams establishing themselves as a team (and not establishing themselves as individuals), and gaining experience going from territory to territory as a unit. Instead, teams consisted of brothers, or two established singles wrestlers with a gimmick and name to make them seem like a seasoned team. When promoters looked for new talent, on the independent circuit – there were none to be found.

In the days of the territory, tag team wrestling dominated the landscape. Every territory promoted some form of a “national” singles champion (be it United States, North American, National, etc.), but NWA bylaws prohibited them from promoting a “World Champion” in the singles divisions.

No such rule existed however for tag team divisions. Every territory seemed to have a United States Champion, a Television Champion, and a pair of World Tag Team Champions.

The 1970’s saw such teams as The Anderson’s (Gene & Lars, and later Ole & Gene), Mr. Wrestling #1 & #2, The Fargos, The Von Baruners, The Samoans, The Grahams (Dr. Jerry, Eddie, Luke, & Billy), the Bastein Brothers, Goliath & Black Gordman, Crusher & Bruiser, the Blackjacks, and many more. Every territory was stacked full of teams comprised of brothers, or fellows of the same nationality or ethnicity. There were many championship teams comprised of a wily veteran and a plucky young up-and-comer.

While a promoter in the 1970’s could not bring in the NWA World Heavyweight Champion for all of his shows, or even for all of the big ones, a promoter could have a show headlined by the World Tag Team Champions at any time. And, unlike the prestigious world singles championship, the multitude of world tag team championships recognized by all of the different promoters switched hands often. In the Memphis territory, titles would change hands on a nearly weekly basis.

Teams like the Assassins would have a reign of terror over a territory for years at a time, while teams of fan favorites would try to pluck the titles (and masks) away from the dastardly duo for good.

As the 1980s dawned and wrestling suddenly had a national audience, more teams came into view and made a name for themselves. The Hart Foundation, the Road Warriors, the Fabulous Freebirds, the Midnight Express, the Rock n Roll Express. The British Bulldogs, Arn & Ole Anderson, Arn Anderson & Tully Blanchard, Ivan & Nikita Koloff, Iron Sheik & Nikolai Volkoff, the Midnight Rockers, The Moondogs, Chris Adams & Gino Hernandez, the Killer Bees, the Fantastics, and many, many more.

In the 80s, bigger was suddenly better. It was more important to look like a champ than to actually wrestle like one. This led to the world champion, and the main event level singles wrestlers requiring “a look”, rather than an off the hook workrate. At the same time, the territories were falling to the wayside and it was now possible to book a singles champion on every show. While the era of the big man was under way, the smaller talented technicians began to strut their stuff in the tag team ranks. While the tag team championships were brought down from their status as a main event level championship, they became a bastion of psychology, workrate, and action. Solid singles wrestlers like Magnum TA, Tito Santana, Rick Martel, Arn Anderson, Barry Windham, Greg Valentine, and countless others found themselves solidifying cards as tag team wrestlers – often stealing the show.

Then, the 1990’s hit. There were two major wrestling promotions for most of that time period – WWF and WCW. The World Wrestling Federation’s ranks of tag teams consisted of teams such as The Smoking Gunns, The Bodydonnas, The Godwinns, Men on a Mission, and many championship teams of two singles wrestlers thrown together, such as Kevin Nash & Shawn Michaels, Bob Holly & X-Pac, Owen Hart & Davey Smith, and others. WCW at least had a consistent roster of legitimate teams, such as the Steiner Brothers, Doom, the Nasty Boys, Harlem Heat, Sting & Luger, the Outsiders, as well as other tag teams made from stables such as the NWO, the Four Horsemen, the Dangerous Alliance, and more.

As the 1990s came to a close, tag team wrestling looked to be gaining momentum again, thanks to teams like The APA, Hardy Boys, the Dudley Boyz, the Impact Players, the Eliminators, Edge & Christian, Rey Misterio & Billy Kidman, Dean Malenko & Chris Benoit, Rob Van Dam & Sabu, and a few others.

But, just as the “bigger is better” mentality caused a make-over of the prototype for a singles wrestler in the late 1970s and 1980s, the blueprint for too many promoters when looking for a tag team became teams like the Road Warriors, Demolition, and the Steiner Brothers. Promoters were suddenly looking for two big men who could overpower and dominate smaller opponents. Too often promoters would find two big men, and throw them together as a team, and immediately start putting them in title matches at the top of the division. Teams quickly went stale, because after short stints of teaming, promoters would decide to showcase one (or both) in singles competition, rather than as a tag team. Often, promoters saw easy money in having a team split up just to have the former teammates fight each other.

The differences between each generation’s tag teams are easy to see. In the 1970s, teams consisted of two men with some kind of bond. They were brothers, or countrymen, or two cowboys. They were two individuals who had a long history together that moved from territory to territory together. Or, they were two guys that stayed anchored to a territory, and defended the titles against challengers from other areas. The 1980s saw teams composed of two individuals from the same territory who were able to catch a break in another territory as a team – and then stuck with a successful team.

Sure, when the indy boom started you had teams like Cueball Carmichael & Jimmy Cicero, or Ace Darling & Devon Storm, or Joey Matthews & Christian York that found reasonable success as a duo, but for every team like that there were probably 1000 teams that consisted of two guys thrown together – if there was even a tag team match on an independent show.

So, how do we fix the problem of the current tag team wrestling scene?
In my opinion, it starts first and foremost with the wrestlers themselves. If two guys make a good team and want to focus on success in that area, then they need to only seek bookings as a team. At the very least, they need to accept bookings only if they are not fighting their partner. There is a literal drought of established quality tag teams on the independent circuit, and that leads to weak tag team divisions everywhere else. Although the problem might not be as bad in Japan due to the matchmaking style there, tag team wrestling is in almost as sorry a state in Mexico and abroad as it is in the US.

You would think then, that the law of supply and demand would then cause a correction of the market, and that the indy scene would be bursting with tag teams traveling and trying to get noticed. Yet, there is not.

The beauty of a tag team championship is that, from a booking standpoint, it should be your most flexible title. If you have the right team, it can main event your events. If you have the right team, it can open up the show. What that means is that you can feature rookies wrestling seasoned veterans in tag team matches, and it doesn’t have to be a lopsided match.

It worked in the territory days. Why wouldn’t it work now? Has something fundamentally changed that it makes no sense for two guys who know each other and wrestle complimentary styles to team up, to gain a higher position (and they more money) on the cards?

No, crappy attitudes of wrestlers, and poor matchmaking ability of promoters/bookers/matchmakers has led to a stagnant tag team division almost everywhere you look. Until the wrestlers and the people running wrestling shows put a focus on tag team wrestling again, the great tag teams we remember from the old days will continue to be near extinct.

Initialed Enemies?

2007-11-29T10:14:00.000-05:00

When speaking of Triple H, I frequently bring up the year that he destroyed Rob Van Dam, Kane, and Booker T. I just feel that it's a footnote in The Game's resume that can't be overlooked. 9 times out of 10, when Triple H has had the chance to make a new superstar, he's balked.

Recently the UK's Power Slam magazine had a chance to ask RVD about HHH. His answers were very interesting:

UKS: Is it true you had problems with Triple H when you worked for WWE?

RVD: Problems? I had problems liking him. I had problems feeling compatible with him on any other level other than the fact that we're both wrestlers. He would be one of the last guys you would see sharing a car with me. If we weren't both wrestlers, I doubt I'd have anything in common with him.

UKS: There were a few occasions -- Unforgiven 2002 springs to mind -- when it seemed like the perfect time for you to defeat Triple H. After he attacked and beat you down on the September 16, 2002 Raw, you sought revenge in a singles bout at Unforgiven six days later. A win there would have been a tremendous boon for you. Meanwhile, a loss for HHH would have done his status no harm at all. As it turned out, HHH won by pinfall. It seemed like he cut you off.

RVD: Well, I don't disagree with you. And that's why I'm glad my career is caught on videotape and DVD, so the fans can watch what happened in my career and say it all for me, like you just did.

UKS: You've nothing further to add about HHH?

RVD: When you're watching RVD TV (his online TV show), don't look for HHH to be in Rob Van Dam's house.

You can't blame Rob for feeling the way he does, as Triple H is solely responsible for the fact that Rob is not looked at as a legit main eventer, but instead a second tier guy. However, with this interview, old Robbie V may have just signed a verbal contract never to return to the WWE again.

Below is a stop motion animation I found that pretty much sums up every encounter these two have ever had:

Armchair Booking The ECW World Title Picture

2007-11-28T18:38:00.000-05:00

Are you the kind of person that watches something on WWE or TNA and think you could do it better? Yeah, that's the kind of person I am. The reality is that 90% of us probably couldn't. What makes me think I'm any different? Nothing really. I do have 7 1/2 years experience in the wrestling business as a worker, but very little experience booking (just one show really.) I have contributed ideas for matches, angles, and feuds that have worked out pretty well, so I'd like to think that I have a good mind for booking.

Alot of people were surprised that ECW retained its timeslot for another year, especially given the ratings they have drawn. It is one of the highest rated (if not THE highest rated) program on Sci Fi, but it doesn't compare to the ratings pulled in by Raw or Smackdown. With the same roster as Smackdown basically, there's no reason why ECW shouldn't be able to pull in the same ratings as it's Friday Night Counterpart, especially since Tuesday night is a more convenient night of the week to be watching wrestling (assuming the average wrestling fan has something to do on a Friday night.)

As of last night's ECW/Smackdown tapings, there is no ECW angle leading into the Armageddon PPV that is almost 2 weeks away (yes, it is in Pittsburgh, and no I won't be going unless someone surprises me with tickets as a birthday present.) My take at armchair booking makes things pretty interesting, and carries all the way through Wrestlemania. What I want you to do is read this article now and read it again in April after Wrestlemania is in the books. I want feedback at that time to see if you were happy with the job the WWE has done at that point, or if this is the booking you would have much rather enjoyed. Let's also examine at that time if the ratings have remained steady or have increased, and if you think this fake booking would have made a difference in the numbers.

Next week on ECW, the show begins with CM Punk cutting a promo about not having a challenger lined up for an ECW Title Match at Armageddon. He invites to the ring Tommy Dreamer. He puts over Dreamer for initially winning the Chase to the Title series a few months back and remind us all that he never recieved a title shot for his efforts. Tonight, CM Punk is going to make Tommy's dreams come true and give him what (I think, but could be wrong) would be his first ECW Title shot since the brand relaunched last year. Dreamer accepts. Later in the Main Event, Smackdown Tag Champs John Morrison and Miz are on commentary for the match and get involved at the end, causing the match to end in a no contest.

On Smackdown that Friday (or even ECW next week since I believe they tape Smackdown before ECW airs live) Punk and Dreamer return the favor, involving themselves in a non-title match with Miz & Morrison against any random pair of babyfaces (why not Finlay & Hornswoggle for shits and giggle?) To protect Morrison here, Miz takes the pin. As a result of this, a Tag Team Title Match is set for Armageddon.

At Armageddon, Morrison and Miz retain the Tag Team Titles against Punk and Dreamer. Morrison gets the pin on Punk in this match, and the following week on ECW TV, Morrison gloats about pinning the Champion and uses that to get another rematch for the title. This rematch happens the following week on December 27th. Why December 27th? It's the week of Christmas and ECW airs on Thursday head to head with Impact. One would think they should stack this show up to beat them in the ratings, but I think it would be more beneficial to rely on one match to carry the show, literally.

What I am proposing here is Punk vs Morrison in a 60 Minute Iron Man Match. One match to take place during the entire 60 minute broadcast. I think this would be a good idea to do regardless, and with the Smackdown merger, some ECW talent can just wrestle on the Friday Night broadcast. A match like this is just what the ECW Title needs to build a little prestigue and to be deemed more important than the US or Intercontinental Title. Plus, they'll have a week to advertise the match. I'm sure TNA will be trying to put on a strong show and a strong main event to compete with this, but even fans that are flipping back and forth will most likely want to tune into the last 10 minutes of this to see things really heat up. Now in my booking, Miz gets involved toward the end, followed by Dreamer saving, but both of them staying at ringside for the final few minutes. In the end, Punk retains, and Dreamer helps him celebrate, only to turn on him.

Somewhere before the end of the year finally have Mahoney/Kelly vs Miz/Layla so that feud can finally be blown off. Just please keep the Women's Wrestling to a bare minimum and DO NOT have Kelly attempt another Circus Panda in the corner...

The next week, Dreamer explains his actions via heel promo, basically venting his frustrations about his role in WWECW and saying that he cares more about becoming ECW Champion and challenges Punk to a match. Enter Punk, brawl ensues, and they meet at New Years Revolution with Punk retaining. They have a rematch again at the Royal Rumble, this time in an Extreme Rules Match.

Does the ECW Title feel a little more important yet?

To build for Wrestlemania, Bobby Lashley makes his return in time for the Rumble, but comes up short. Let's say for the sake of argument that a member of the RAW Roster wins the Rumble match itself, leaving the heavily rumored Elimination Chamber match at No Way Out where the winner gets a shot at the other World Title… on Smackdown. Lashley returns to the Blue Brand in an attempt to again become a World Champion, and turning heel in frustration of not winning the Rumble match. While this is all happening, Punk is having a great series of matches with Shelton Benjamin, who has been built up as a credible challenger for the last couple of months. Lashley comes up short yet again and turns to his last option to have a World Title Match for the Granddaddy of them all, targeting CM Punk.

One problem is the ECW brand is built up with a strong assortment of heels that can be Main Eventers, while they still only have one Main Event face in CM Punk. Let's just say that the fans accept Dreamer back as a babyface after his match with Punk at the Rumble, and Elijah Burke has a falling out with Shelton Benjamin that leads to a face turn and a match at Wrestlemania. I don't see ECW getting another match on that show, so let's put them both in the Money In the Bank Ladder Match.

At Wrestlemania, Punk's reign is ended by the only other member of the ECW Roster not named John Morrison who could make a believable Champion for that brand in Bobby Lashley. From there, the summer months can be spent feuding the two together, maybe even switching the title a couple times if needed (ala Angle vs Lesnar.)

There you have it. Will it make the ECW Title feel as important as Big Gold or The Spinner belt? Will it help ECW's ratings go up a whole point? Will it make the ECW Brand as a whole seem like it's not the read headed stepchild of the WWE? Those are all debatable, but tell me come Monday, March 31st if this would have been a better idea.

DiBiase; IC Title Match

2007-11-28T10:17:00.000-05:00

Mike DiBiase, the son of former WWE agent and WWF star Ted DiBiase passed along the following to me:

December 8 in Charlotte,NC I will be facing Damien Wayne for the NWA North American Heavyweight Title. If you know the history, my father held this title before it became what we know now as the WWE Intercontinental Title. It originated out of Stu Harts Stampede. Bret Hart held this Title as well. Basically there is a ton of history with the NWA and my family, Terry Funk being my God father held the NWA World title numerous times as well as Harley Race who trained me and is a close family friend was an 8 Time NWA World Champ. As a 3rd generation wrestler this is huge as history is beginining to repeat itself and get better....it may be destiny to hold the prestigious NWA North American Title...maybe even the NWA World title....we will see!

Just thought you all may be interested in this story!

Thanks, Mike DiBiase

Save_Us.TNA

2007-11-27T22:19:00.000-05:00

Solve the following analogy. If Raw is Jericho, then Impact is ______.

Multiple adjectives can describe TNA right now. The one that came to my mind personally is terrible. Oh, here come the smarks. “How can a 411 writer say TNA is bad?”

I am not the type of fan to forgive an entire wrestling company just because they throw out a decent match now and then. Especially when every decent match ends in some type of screwjob bullcrap ending.

I talked two weeks ago about the possibility of TNA getting an outlet on CBS in leiu of the Hollywood writers strike. I am hearing rumblings of that being more and more plausible. My concern is that the company is nowhere near ready for that type of audience. There are a number of reasons I find TNA hard to watch. Here they are, in no particular order.Teaser

Abyss: Abyss should be a major part of TNA. He has flirted with that role many times since the inception of TNA, and has proven himself as one of the best working big men in the business. So when will his feud with Jim Mitchell’s never-ending parade of wrestling misfits finally be over?

Kurt Angle: Without doubt, Kurt Angle is a great in-ring competitor. However, without the WWE handcuffs on him, he has somehow gotten worse. The storylines run continuously teasing tension between him, his wife, and Kevin Nash were ridiculous to follow. The break up to make up to break up to make up storyline was far from interesting. Angle is interesting in that he is the only WWE reject in TNA that actually would have benefitted from getting a chance to be put under on the way out. There is something about Angle that seperates him from guys like Booker T, Christian Cage, and Jeff Jarrett. Angle might actually be a bit too big of a star for TNA, as the list of truly believable contenders is very short.

Black Reign: Black Reign has been more than dissapointing to me. Each and everytime Goldust is released from the WWE, I get upset. I never understand why. He is typically over and works had to put on a good midcard match. Obviously he is more valuable than Hardcore Holly, and to be honest, he would make a much more interesting component in that Cody Rhodes respect storyline as well. Everytime Runnels gets out from the WWE umbrella, he ends up doing something lame. I would much rather have seen the rumored Platinum character than Black Reign. Black Reign is lame.

The Dudley Boyz: You ever notice that no matter how long Billy Gunn and the Dudleys are in TNA, people still refer to them as Billy Gunn and the Dudley Boys. The proposed Deadly Brothers of Brother Ray and D-Von Deadly was much more interesting to me. Brother Ray tried to do comedy wanting ding dongs last week on Impact, but like every other promo on Impact, it came off terrible. Why can’t these guys talk anymore? The whole X Division angle is retread, and there is really no interesting payoff for it.

Christian Cage: Cage is stuck in the same rut he was in the WWE. After a few successful title reigns, new additions to the TNA roster have him stuck in limbo. Everyone recognizes that the guy is talented, but he somehow manages to position himself right in the middle. Cage and Booker really both have a responsibility to one another to steal the show and make each other if either want to be viewed as a legitimate contender to Angle.

Christopher Daniels: Well, that stupid eye paint didn’t do a whole lot for his career, now did it? Daniels is stuck between a rock and a hard place. He will never break through the TNA glass ceiling. For those that argue the X division title is enough to elevate stars to the next level, look no further than Daniels as proof that you are an idiot. He could hold the belt for 20 years, and it won’t do shit for him in the 21st. Daniels is too good to be in Triple X, but not even considered to compete with the real TNA main eventers. A shame really.

Chris Harris: How did TNA miss the ball with this guy? Oh, the same way they did with Monty Brown? Take note Samoa Joe, because this is the road you are most likely headed down. Wrestling fans are fickle, and they can forget you quick. There was a time when the TNA faithful really wanted to see this guy break out. Now he is stuck in the worthless TNA midcard after being responsible for many of the companies best matches and feuds. His gimmick is that he’s a whiny bitch? What will that do for him? Like so many others, TNA missed the boat on making this guy into a star that people would want to see.

Havok: Who gives a crap about Havok?

Sonjay Dutt: Who gives a crap about Sonjay Dutt?

Lance Hoyt: Who gives a crap about Lance Hoyt?

Jimmy Rave: Who gives a crap about Jimmy Rave?

Shark Boy: Who gives a crap about Shark Boy?

Elix Skipper: Who gives a crap about Elix Skipper?

LAX: At one time the hottest tag team in all of wrestling, what are they now? Glorified job squad. Why are these guys getting beat by Lance Hoyt and Jimmy Rave? They should have the belts until there is a better team. Quite frankly, there isn’t. However, an LAX/Motorcity Machine Guns feud would be fun to watch. Can’t have that though can we?

VKM: These two frankly shouldn’t have jobs. I wanted a New Age Outlaws reunion as much as anyone, and these guys couldn’t have done more to make it any lamer. First The Outlaw changes his name so he can be some kind of butt buddy brother of ol’ BG, then they obsess over their past glory for year, and are made to look like total assholes. Are they heels or faces? I don’t know and I don’t care. They have no upside without the whole New Age Outlaws schtick. I’d rather here Road Dogg sing “With my baby tonight”

Kazarian: I’m all for elevating new guys, but Kaz? Seriously? Kaz? Kaz? I’m sorry, but I just can’t believe this. The dude leaves TNA for WWE, then leaves WWE cause he doesn’t want to cut his hair or some dumb shit like that. He’s in a weak-ass Raven stable, but then his character is so “strong” that he breaks out. Then he wins that pointless fight for your right tournament, and loses to Angle in the Impact Main Event. Did any of the fans pop for him? Did anyone really care when he lost? Would anyone honestly want Kaz as their World Champion? The guy has no personality, his character isn’t developed at all, and somehow he leapfrogs Christopher Daniels to this role. Frankly, TNA didn’t make a new star when they did all this for Kazarian. It was too much, too soon, for the wrong guy. Fans will continue to be underwhelmed by Kaz’s lame-o character, regardless of the fact that he can put out a decent match. Being “this close” to beating Kurt Angle on Impact for Kazarian is as good as being “this close” in horseshoes. It didn’t do half of what Shelton Benjamin’s wins over Triple H did for him years ago, and look where Shelton is now. This time next year, Kazarian will either be gone from TNA or in a shitty X Division tag team. You read it here first. People wanted to see Daniels, Joe, and Monty Brown break the glass ceiling. People didn’t want to see Kazarian do it.

Ron Killings: Every time this dude gets a rebirth, someone pulls the rug out from under him. He’s relatively worthless now that Booker T has arrived back in the Booker T character. I worry about Booker T, because frankly something smells racist down in TNA. Monty Brown should have held a World Title there, and Ron Killings should have kept his momentum as a main eventer. Makes me think Booker T will be wrestling Shark Boy on Xplosion in a year.

Kevin Nash and Scott Hall: No one likes to mark out for these guys more than me, but it’s a bit hard when Nash looks older than my grandpa, and Scott Hall is looking all bloated in his lame ICP t-shirt. Nash never seems to give a damn about TNA, and the same goes for many of the people that TNA brings in. Did Junior Fatu care? Enough to compare the company to WWE, and then call Robert Roode “Ravishing Rick Rude” and a Jabroni. Nash treats the most serious aspects of the show as though they were a joke. Die your hair and give a damn, or give up your spot. You were fine as backstage comic relief, but you are back as a main event wrestler now. Stomp making faces at the camera and act like it.

Raven: What left is there for Raven in TNA honestly? More contrived gimmick matches with Abyss and Rhino? He most certainly shouldn’t be a World Champion again. I think it’s time that Raven either resigns himself to being strictly a manager or just calls it a day. The same tired rehash of the dark characters storyline is really testing my patience. Rather than have a flock that follows Raven, Raven needs to serve as a true guide to someone with a half decent dark gimmick, and Raven has to teach him the ways of the dark.

Rellik: Cool mask, cool tights, cool that he jobbed on his first night. Oh wait, that last part is not cool. I am not trying to say that Johnny the Bull was going to make a ton of money in this role, but he sure had his legs cut out from under him. Teaming with Black Reign he can’t even beat Abyss. That sure gives you something to be excited about for the future. This is a huge problem in TNA. Right at the most critical points to give new talent wins, they job them out. It’s like they have the right idea right up until the finish. Hell, it’s amazing that Rellik had a chance to job on TNA without 50 dudes running in.

Rhino: Ah, that midcard slot is beginning to feel more comfortable isn’t it? There are many more familiar faces in it. TNA Rhino is a lame version of WWE Rhino is a lame version of ECW Rhino. This dude is just a shell of any former self and anything interesting. They keep magically finding stuff for him to do, but I actually kind of wish they’d stop.

Robert Roode: Here’s a guy they can’t find anything for. Roode has no title that he actually can contend for, so he is stuck in feud limbo. There are other guys with him. Chris Harris and James Storm for instance. Roode is not even considered for a spot in TNA main events, although fucking Kaz is. Roode is above the X title, so what can he do? Feud with his valet. Pathetic waste of talent. I’d love to see this dude show up on Raw and take the IC title right out of Jeff Hardy’s rainbow-stained hands.

Petey Williams: This one trick pony is tricked out. Every since turning babyface, it’s been all downhill for Mr. Williams. Too bad Team Canada isn’t still together to give you some purpose, eh Petey?

Eric Young: Pudgy Eric Young somehow made himself the most over babyface in the company, but TNA did a good job of teaming him with Shark Boy and putting a stop to all that. Way to go bookers.

Knockouts: Frankly there are two women in TNA that anyone cares about Traci Brooks because she is hot, and Awesome Kong because she is, well, awesome.Gail Kim may be a fantastic women’s wrestler, but she is boring. The rest of the Knockouts aren’t even really worth mentioning, unless I want to mention how beautiful Talia Madison (Velvet Sky) is. The problem with the division is that despite the fact that they are outwrestling the WWE divas by leaps and bounds, no one cares about the participants, because they all came in at once with no character development. There are fans who hate Melina and Beth Phoenix and love Maria and Mickie James. Maria can’t wrestle worth a lick, but she is probably a more valuable asset right now, unfortunately. TNA, if you are trying to push the division, push the components of it, not the division in its entirety.

Jeremy Borash, Don West, Mike Tenay: All three of you are terrible in your respective roles. Period.

TNA is supposed to serve as an alternative to the WWE, but it’s greatest miscue is that it’s the same damn show. You might as well call it fourth brand.So what is a wrestling company to do?

First off, trim the fat. A wrestling company with a 2 hour show once a week has no reason to have that large of a roster. Point blank Black Reign, Sonjay Dutt, Havok, Lance Hoyt, B.G. James, Kip James, Jimmy Rave, Raven, Rellik, Rhino, Shark Boy, Elix Skipper, Petey Williams, and Eric Young add nothing to your company at the moment. Most of them show little to no upside value either. Set them free.

A few weeks back I talked about wrestling’s current crop of free agents. TNA should be looking currently to get their hands on the following guys:

Mistico: Mexico’s biggest star could do good to get away from his home country. The overexposure of Mistico was brought to my attention by my colleauge Nikita Allenov. The guy is like a bigger Rey Mysterio, and he has some moves that are more impressive than old Rey Rey.

Rob Van Dam: The only legit main eventer that TNA can probably afford, because I know Big Show is gonna expect a giant paycheck. RVD chose to leave the WWE. If he is in the market for a lighter schedule when he decides to return, it would be a huge feather in TNA’s cap.

Giant Bernard: Say what you will, I was a huge mark for Doc and Gordy, and Tomko and Bernard are the closest we have to it now. I wouldn’t mind seeing Tomko turn on AJ, AJ become a babyface again, and team with Christopher Daniels against the monster IWGP tag team champions. It books itself, and I bet the matches would be awesome.
Vampiro: If they want to insist on running the same damn storyline with Sting, Abyss, Raven, and whoever else, bring this guy in to do it. Make Vampiro so dark that he kills off the lesser characters involved, until only he, Sting, and Abyss remain.

Bring back the Bashams. For the love of God, you think Hoyt and Rave are better than Doug Basham? I will apparantely have to go to my grave insisting that these two guys were better than anything they ever got from any promotion other than OVW. Release Hoyt, Rave, and Hemme, and let these two tear up in tag matches with LAX. It’s a simple formula.

The Sandman: Novelty character? Sure. But Sandman was over when he was released from WWE, and TNA should milk everything they can get out of that. Keep the same cuffs on the Sandman that the WWE had on him, but give him a cover of Enter Sandman as his music, and you have an insanely over midcarder.

Cryme Tyme: Here we go. The hate mail cometh. How dare I say bad things about Kaz and put over these two? Well, easy. These two got over. The Cryme Tyme name was retarded, so these are two guys that TNA can actually look good by signing, because instead of a crappy rehash, they can do better. TNA is the only place where tag team wrestling lives, so let it live. TNA wants to be an alternative? How about Shad and JTG cut shoot-style promos about how they were forced by racists to portray a negative stereotype.

As long as we are talking tag teams, what if La Resistance returned as a three-man stable. Dupree and Grenier as the tag team, Conway as the singles wrestler. What if they feuded with a revamped LAX, with Homicide and Senshi as the tag team, and Hernandez as the break out singles star? Hmmm…

While we are on the subject of revamping TNA, get rid of the X division. This is controversial, I know. Months ago, I was arguing for them to keep it. Why? It is what gave them an identity as being separate from the WWE. Now, it is just the same as the WWE cruiserweight division. You still have Daniels, Lethal, Homicide, Senshi, AJ, and others who can work the X style; you just don’t need a specific belt for them. All the dudes we cared about have moved past it: Daniels, Styles, Sabin, Shelley… Who is left? Dutt, Shark Boy…

Keep Black Machismo under contract, but make him compete at a higher level. Why? Because you have Robert Roode, Chris Harris, James Storm, Rhino, Ron Killings, Kazarian, Christian, and others with nothing to do while guys like Angle and Sting keep the World Title warm.

Roode, Daniels, Harris, and others have not been able to be properly elevated because of the lack of a secondary title. Remember how Bret Hart, Mr. Perfect, and Shawn Michaels were elevated through the Intercontinental title. Frankly, this would be more valuable to TNA right now than an X division title belt. Former champions can then move into the main event and be accepted properly. Guys like Roode need some type of purpose, other than getting into pointless feud after pointless feud forever and ever.

Another thing: Stop booking change for the sake of change. Heel LAX, AMW, and Team Canada were the best things you ever did to make new stars. Now the Team Canada guys are all floundering. Notice how WWE split the Spirit Squad and kept the one stand out? You needed to break Roode off from the group, and leave the rest in tact. You also shouldn’t have cut the legs out of LAX and jobbed them out each week, as they were the hottest stars in your company that weren’t from the old WCW or WWE. AMW might have run its course, but there is no point breaking them up if you are not going to push either member. They put on a fantastic feud with one another, and get rewarded by having nothing left to do afterwards. Since you decided to break them up, at least one of them should be better off now than they were then.

Just because TNA sneaks in one good match in between hours and hours of total bullcrap, don’t let yourself be convinced that it’s this awesome alternative product. The storylines are nonsensical, the promos are self-serving, and most of the characters are floating in purgatory with nothing to do.

Here’s some mail on Last Week’s Article:

Jadd Naamani offered the following on a Legends of Wrestling game:
Just wanted to commend you on your legends list for a hypothetical Smackdown Vs Raw 2008 roster. I actually posted a message on one of the SvR 08 message boards talking about how they should make a game full of legends (better than Legends of Wrestling that came out before – that franchise sucked), and we named a lot of the same legends to appear. Here’s the post I had:

I've been pretty happy with the Legends in the last 2 SvR games, but I was thinking...it'd be SICK if someone created a game with old school wrestlers (and yes I know they had Legends of Wrestling 1&2, but they both sucked and you know it).

But put in other wrestlers than the usual Hogan/Rock/Austin/Foley deal.

How bout Arn Anderson, the surfer Sting, Vader, Ron Simmons, Magnum TA, Ted DiBiase, IRS, OWEN HART, British Bulldog, Yokozuna, Lex Luger, Barry Windham, Psycho Sid, Diesel, Razor, The Rockers, LOD, Tracey Smothers and that dude he teamed with, The Fabulous Freebirds, Tully Blanchard, Warrior, Rock n Roll Express, Ricky Steamboat, Dustin Rhodes (before Golddust/Reign), BRIAN PILLMAN (or the Hollywood Blondes)

I'm talking wrestlers from back in the hay-day of wrestling. The old school people we loved to watch and loved to hate -- now THAT'S a game I would TOTALLY buy.
Just found it remotely cool that I thought of a list that was similar to a 411 writer.

Jeremy Addison clarified the Smackdown vs. Raw 2008 Roster

Yo dude,

A good column as always. Just wanted to give you a few facts on SVR 2008. I picked it up last night.

Your dream roster?
1. Shelton Benjamin-NO
2. Lance Cade-NO
3. Carlito-YES
4. Charlie Haas-NO
5. Jeff Hardy-YES
6. Brian Kendrick-NO
7. Mr. Kennedy-YES
8. Santino Marella-NO
9. Paul London-NO
10. Shawn Michael-YES
11. Trevor Murdoch-NO
12. Randy Orton-YES
13. Cody Rhodes-NO
14. Snitsky-YES
15. Triple H-YES
16. Umaga-YES
17. Chris Jericho (Unlockable)-NO
18. John Cena-YES
19. Bobby Lashley-YES
20. DH Smith-NO
21. Val Venis -NO
22. Batista-YES
23. Deuce-NO
24. Domino-NO
25. Kenny Dykstra-YES
26. Finlay-YES
27. The Great Khali-YES
28. Matt Hardy-YES
29. Mark Henry -YES
30. Kane-YES
31. Rey Mysterio-YES
32. Jamie Noble-NO
33. Chuck Palumbo-NO
34. MVP-YES
35. The Undertaker-YES
36. Jimmy Wang Yang-NO
37. Edge-YES
38. Ric Flair-YES
39. Chavo Guerrero-YES
40. Gregory Helms -YES
41. Big Daddy V-NO
42. Elijah Burke-YES
43. CM Punk-YES
44. Tommy Dreamer-YES
45. John Morrison-YES but he is still Johnny Nitro
46. The Miz-NO
47. The Boogeyman-SORRY CAN’T REMEMBER
48. Stevie Richards-NO
49. Matt Striker-NO
50. Kevin Thorn -NO

Notable New Legends:
Terry Funk
Sabu

Hope this doesn’t dissuade you from buying the game. The graphics are top notch and there are several new interesting features. My only initial disappointment was that during the career mode there are only 19 selectable wrestlers you can use.
Peace

It doesn’t dissuade me at all Jeremy. I didn’t expect what I wrote to be on the game. I just thought it would be a sweet roster.

Watch the Bashams on Velocity:

For Lack of a More Creative Title: My Thoughts on Survivor Series

2007-11-26T16:57:00.000-05:00

I went to a local sports bar last Sunday to check out Survivor Series. This was the first Pay Per View I had actually watched since Wrestlemania, not counting a couple of post-WM PPVs that they showed on WWE 24/7. My expectations going into the show were pretty low and there wasn't really one match that I felt that I was really watching the PPV for (the last time that happened was the advertised Punk/Benoit match, and we all know how THAT turned out.) Regardless, I was looking forward to it because it was Survivor Series, and because it was one of the "Big Four" Events of the year.

Three hours later, I would be very surprised at how much I enjoyed it, considering how disappointed I was with some of the previous PPVs I saw. As the show opened, I groaned at the fact that the ECW Title match was starting off the show… again. However, by the time it had ended I was more appreciative of the match that just took place, and even more appreciative of the decision to have it start the show. I was reminded at that time of a booking philosophy that a good friend of mine had... put the best match on paper (with the babyface going over) as the opener, regardless of its importance, to get the crowd hot and set the tone for the rest of the show. It certainly worked here, especially since a lot of people were expecting Punk to drop the belt back to Morrison. On a side note, with Punk surviving this match, the ECW/SD merger, and Morrison/Miz now Smackdown's Tag Champs, this should be a great opportunity for Punk to start a fresh new title program with someone from the Smackdown brand. My initial thought of a perfect candidate for this was Finlay, but later in the night those thoughts would seem to be fizzled out…

Next up was the Womens tag match. I won't complain because this was actually one match I had on my Survivor Series wishlist. Not because I was interested in seeing eye candy or because I thought it would be a blockbuster match, but because it made more sense booking-wise at this event than a Singles Match for the Womens Title. I don't think they could have done a better job with this (again, booking-wise) as each girl got to do their thing, it helped put over Mickie on her way to challenging Beth Phoenix for the Womens Title, and it didn't hurt Phoenix's credibility as Champion. It didn't drag out too long and it wasn't too short to lose it's meaning. I should mention, however, that Melina falling off of the ring apron during her entrance caused the bar to explode for their 2nd biggest pop of the night.

*Note* Apparently there was a nip slip courtesy of Michelle McCool in this match that I totally missed. Damnit...

The Tag Team Title Match was what it was. I would have rather seen Cade and Murdoch vs London and Kendrick, but this was something fresh that they hadn't put on a PPV already. The match was fine, but I don't Trevor Murdoch's version of the Code Red should be done by someone the size of Trevor Murdoch. I'm sorry, but it just doesn't look right. Trevor, either please go back to your trusty old Bulldog or just let Cade do his sweet sitout spinebuster (Note: I'm totally stealling that move.)

If anything, this is what I was anticipating the most… the Traditional Survivor Series Match. Why they couldn't give some other deserving babyface a PPV Payday by subbing them in place of Matt Hardy was beyond me. The match was pretty entertaining overall and I was actually quite surprised by the outcome. Perhaps this is the first step towards pushing Jeff Hardy as a legitimate Main Eventer and World Title Contender. Triple H's save for Hardy the next night on Raw helped solidify the fact that they're taking a step in the right direction by having one of the top stars giving a younger guy the rub.

I wasn't expecting much with Hornswoggle/The Great Khali, as I knew it was going to be a throwaway match. I actually found it pretty entertaining, and was rather surprised by the Finlay run in/save. I must admit, I think Finlay would make a pretty badass babyface. If anyone can carry Khali to a good match, it just might be him. I'm interested to see how this one develops.

Orton/Michaels was terrific. They told a great story with the stipulations, and the bar I was in ERUPTED when Michaels locked on that Crippler Crossface. I'm not sure if enough time has passed in the WWE's eyes, but maybe this will be the start of not trying to rewrite history by not mentioning He Who Shall Not Be Named.

Undertaker/Batista was good, but by that time I was burned out from sitting through a 3 hour Football game and 3 hour Wrestling show, and I just didn't care. The booking of the finish was pretty nice, with Edge getting involved, although I found it kind of odd that he singled out the Undertaker and NOT Batista. Perhaps laying them both out and letting the match go to a non-finish would have been the best thing to do given the match that's booked for Smackdown this week, but then again, what MORE could he have done to Batista at that point?

Now a week out of the PPV, there are several interesting storylines developed to carry us over until the Royal Rumble when the push for Wrestlemania really begins. On Raw there's the Hardy/HHH relationship and Y2J/Orton to look forward to. On Smackdown, there's the continued push of Jaime Noble and an interesting Main Event scene involving Batista, Edge, and The Undertaker. In the land of Extreme, you have the newly drafted Shelton Benjamin and repackaged Kevin Thorn as possible feuds for CM Punk. Things are starting to look positive for WWE, as they're freshening up their product a bit and making things appealing again.

Time to Play the Game

2007-11-20T23:44:00.000-05:00

I've been playing a lot of Smackdown vs. Raw 2007 lately. I run raw in General Manager mode. One of my struggles is to keep my roster up-to-date with WWE's current offering. I don't go through the trouble of creating guys that aren't there, but I do release guys that the WWE has actually released. The reason that this is a struggle is because anyone who is not on your brand is not yours to release and make unavailable. I have done a pretty good job however. Currently the only active wrestler on the game who has been released in real life is the recently released Chris Masters.

I assume that when WrestleMania occurs for the umpteenth time, I can acquire him and send him back to whence he came. I just completed another Royal Rumble. The Great Khali picked up the victory, but rather than beating 29 other men, he defeated 26. Why? Well, with WWE releasing so many guys in the past year, There just aren't enough guys to fill out the Rumble.

Smackdown vs. Raw 2008 came out yesterday, and as of this writing, I do not own it. The only thing I know for sure is that in the time between the last game and this one, WWE has gotten rid of a number of their SvR 2007 roster members. Aren't these guys supposed to be the cream of WWE's crop?

Well, if that's true, WWE should be in a lot worse shape than they are now. After all, these aren't just the scrubs that are no longer there. Former World Champions like Big Show, Booker T, Chris Benoit, Kurt Angle, and Rob Van Dam are among those who have departed since the last edition of the popular game. I would add JBL and Mick Foley to those names. JBL is no longer an active wrestler, and while I question Foley's addition as a regular roster member last year, it is without doubt that he hasn't stepped in the ring for a match anytime recently.

William Regal is another superstar who like JBL has strong WWE ties, but no longer serves a regular active in-ring role.

After these guys the biggest releases come from the Women's division. It's nothing impressive to be a former Women's Champion. Almost every WWE diva can lay claim to that title. Not every diva can claim to be Trish Stratus or Lita however. These two women revolutionized WWE women's wrestling.

The rest of the releases are made up of a lot of guys who frankly never really would have meant much. The only member of the list that I could have ever imagined with a World Title reign would have been Chris Masters. Unfortunately, he was unable to deal with the pressures of his gimmick in relation to the WWE Wellness Policy.

The other guys who have left WWE television include Daivari, Joey Mercury, Kid Kash, Paul Burchill, Psicosis, and Vito.

With rumors that Carlito may be the next on his way out the door, the prospects of me filling a Royal Rumble ring on SvR 2007 looks even bleaker.

The outlook for SvR 2008 isn't much better. Chris Masters, King Booker, JTG, Marquis Cor Von, The Sandman, Shad and Sabu have already been released and the game just came out. Again, William Regal is serving in a non-wrestling role. Who knows who will still be around by the 2009 edition? By the time I pick it up for Christmas, I may already be unable to have a true Royal Rumble.

That's ok with me though. I have a ways to go with Smackdown vs. Raw 07. After all, my video game is about the only place in wrestling that can boast a hot tag team division. DX, The Brothers of Destruction, Finlay and Regal, and Cade and Murdoch aren't too shabby. Add occasional appearances from Rated-RKO, Umaga and the Great Khali, and John Cena and Batista, and you'd swear it was 1989 when it comes to the depth of tag teams who are actually over.

For those who are curious, my full roster currently consists of Batista, Edge, Finlay, Khali, Cena, Nitro and Melina, Kane, Ken Kennedy, Lance Cade, Randy Orton, Rey Mysterio, Ric Flair, Shawn Michaels, Shelton Benjamin, Trevor Murdoch, Triple H, Umaga, The Undertaker, and William Regal. Yeah, I know. I'm stacked!

So if the World were perfect and WWE released Smackdown vs. Raw 2008 tommorow, who should be on the active roster?

Last years game included 44 active wrestlers. Assuming that the game is continually getting better, let's add six.

1. Shelton Benjamin
2. Lance Cade
3. Carlito
4. Charlie Haas
5. Jeff Hardy
6. Brian Kendrick
7. Mr. Kennedy
8. Santino Marella
9. Paul London
10. Shawn Michaels
11. Trevor Murdoch
12. Randy Orton
13. Cody Rhodes
14. Snitsky
15. Triple H
16. Umaga
17. Chris Jericho (Unlockable)
18. John Cena
19. Bobby Lashley
20. DH Smith
21. Val Venis
22. Batista
23. Deuce
24. Domino
25. Kenny Dykstra
26. Finlay
27. The Great Khali
28. Matt Hardy
29. Mark Henry
30. Kane
31. Rey Mysterio
32. Jamie Noble
33. Chuck Palumbo
34. MVP
35. The Undertaker
36. Jimmy Wang Yang
37. Edge
38. Ric Flair
39. Chavo Guerrero
40. Gregory Helms
41. Big Daddy V
42. Elijah Burke
43. CM Punk
44. Tommy Dreamer
45. John Morrison
46. The Miz
47. The Boogeyman
48. Stevie Richards
49. Matt Striker
50. Kevin Thorn

The last game included seven divas. If we can get the number up to ten, WWE should include:

1. Jillian Hall
2. Mickie James
3. Maria
4. Melina
5. Beth Phoenix
6. Candice Michelle
7. Michelle McCool
8. Victoria
9. Torrie Wilson
10. Kelly Kelly

The last game included 16 legends. Let's bump to 20:

1. Hulk Hogan
2. Randy Savage
3. Bret Hart
4. Steve Austin
5. The Rock
6. Arn Anderson
7. Ricky Steamboat
8. Ted Dibiase
9. Barry Windham
10. Andre the Giant
11. The Ultimate Warrior
12. Jake "The Snake" Roberts
13. Vader
14. Yokozuna
15. Mr. Perfect
16. Ax
17. Smash
18. Sid
19. Owen Hart
20. Razor Ramon

Exclusive Video of the Ayatollah of Rock and Rolla!

2007-11-19T16:21:00.001-05:00

Chris Jericho returns to the WWE tonight, and we have rare footage of the Ayatollah of Rock and Rolla!

P.S. This is the greatest video ever!

The Time is Now

2007-11-18T23:20:00.000-05:00

There is a newsfeed on our blog that keeps me up to date on the latest happenings in professional wrestling. One interesting article I came across speculated on the effect that the Hollywood writers strike would have on the WWE.

The writer speculated that the NBC network might turn to the WWE for additional programming to make up for the loss of The Tonight Show, Saturday Night Live, and others.

At the same time I thought that if this model proved successful, CBS might look into their affiliate network Spike TV about TNA programming.

If the strike lasts as long as projected, the WWE and TNA may receive major outlets for their programming. The question of whether or not the negative stigma related to the Chris Benoit murders and the related steroid probes will prevent networks and advertisers from looking towards professional wrestling is valid.

Let's assume however that the WWE actually does have the opportunity to benefit from added television time. Can WWE bring the goods?

Over the summer, Linda McMahon stated during a conference call that professional wrestling was about to hit another boom period. Since that announcement, Triple H, Shawn Michaels, The Undertaker, Rey Mysterio, and Ken Kennedy have returned from injuries.

Also since that time, Rob Van Dam and Booker T have left the company, and Bobby Lashley and John Cena have gone down to injury. So the question is, is the WWE in better or worse position than they were six months ago?

The answer is better, and the reason for that all looms on the horizon. If WWE is able to get three slots of network television time, they have three major events guaranteed to occur. The eagerly anticipated returns of Edge, Ric Flair, and Chris Jericho are all slated to occur sometime in the near future, and the timing could not be more perfect.

An interesting proposition would see classic wrestling as an option during this time. This is an interesting concept, indeed. The suggestion of the very best of Raw from the 1990's being available may overshadow today's product, or it could alternatively light a fire under WWE creative and remind the casual fan of what they enjoyed so much in the past.

I must admit I am not always the biggest "Stone Cold" Steve Austin fan. I think he was a better worker before he adopted the Stone Cold persona, and at times his act has grown tired to me. Still, during his confrontation with Santino Marella on Monday Night, all I could feel was magic, and I wished to myself that Austin had the ability to wrestle again.

Some critics are suggesting that Santino Marella's fantastic mic work over the past several weeks was all for naught because of the Austin confrontation. I couldn't disagree more.

Santino Marella has established himself as one of the most entertaining characters on Raw. A beer-spraying hose cannot wash that away. Just the opportunity for Santino to work with Austin elevates him. So what if Austin got a kick-wham-stunner on him. Who hasn't Austin done that too? The point is, Marella got under Austin's skin enough to bring Austin back to a WWE ring to confront him, and when Austin stood face to face with him, he was true to his convictions and never backed down.

Now Marella is positioned fantastically as the perfect antagonist to a returning Chris Jericho, and fans understand that the potential for classic mic work is outstanding. Marella doesn't have the character to be a main event caliber wrestler yet. However, as the green wears off and his comedy runs its course, he is going to be a very hot commodity as a serious title contender.

All Santino's program with Austin did was elevate him to bigger and better things. What if next week Santino was fuming about being embarrassed by Austin the week before? In a fit of rage, Marella announces that he is issuing and open challenge to anyone under a WWE contract for a match at the Survivor Series. All of the sudden, the countdown is on!

Another can't miss storylines for fans old enough to remember the good old days involves the return of "Nature Boy" Ric Flair. Since his WWE wrestling debut, fans have clamored for the storyline that sees Flair donning the big gold belt one more time.

While Flair currently seems far from the title picture on any brand, it will not take long to convince fans that Flair is ready and able for one last hurrah. Flair's return should see him gain convincing victories over major superstars and at the same time reestablish the figure-four leglock.

For those worried about Flair going over younger talent who are the future of the company, I would first suggest remembering how many guys Flair has attempted to help put over (although attempts with Kenny Dykstra and Carlito weren't all that successful). In professional wrestling, losing to Ric Flair is certainly not the type of thing that a wrestler will be unable to overcome in the future. If done right, A Flair for the Gold will convince anyone that Flair has the ability simply because of how bad he wants his final day in the sun.

How would I suggest they position Flair for his title shot? The same way they positioned him for the title during his first WWE run. Imagine the underdog Flair defeating 29 younger superstars at the Royal Rumble and choosing his own destiny at WrestleMania.

The current World Heavyweight Title picture is irrelevant, as WrestleMania is months away. Say the Undertaker defeats Batista at the Survivor Series and is positioned for a World Title Match with Edge at the Rumble. This is the perfect time for Batista to cost the Undertaker the belt and turn heel, as his babyface character has grown tired to many anyways. The Rumble can come down to Batista and Flair, who have a hell of a back-story of their own, and Taker can return the favor. Now you have two hot Smackdown main event matches. Perhaps and interesting twist would see Edge recruit his own pseudo-horsemen in the months leading up to WrestleMania. Arn Anderson would insist on helping Flair in his battles, but Flair would insist that this time he has to do it alone, and Arn would be left to struggle with respecting Flair's wishes and being the enforcer. He would reconcile those differences when he meets Flair in the ring to hug him and celebrate his title victory.

Flair would drop the belt the next month, most likely in a return match with Edge, but a unique and incredible WrestleMania moment was made, and Flair can retire with his legacy in tact.

The main problem I see is that outside of these returns, there is not a lot in the immediate future to look forward to on Raw. The Triple H-Umaga program has pretty much run its course twice now, yet it is still going on. The Randy Orton-Shawn Michaels program has no happy ending, as Michaels should not be regaining the belt right now, but he certainly needs to get his heat back from Orton kicking a field goal with his face and putting him out of action. So how does the Raw brand create exciting television outside of the return of Chris Jericho?

Well, one interesting prospect would involve the return of another major attitude-era superstar. If the WWE is looking to recapture the casual fan from the late 1990's, who better to bring back than The Rock. Now I know this seems a bit of a stretch, but with a major writer's strike in Hollywood, Rock's Saturday Night Live appearance has already been cancelled, and plans for any major movies he might have done could be on hold.

I would not suggest that Dwayne Johnson return in an active wrestling role for many reasons. He is not in wrestling shape. The risk of injury is high and unnecessary for him to take. Still, the Rock appearing and electrifying live crowds in a general manager role, bantering with Chris Jericho, Santino Marella, William Regal, Ron Simmons, and others is the recipe for good WWE television. I would think it a lot more doubtful had not the Rock appeared prior to WrestleMania to suggest that Umaga is Samoan for shriveled-up monkey penis.

To follow the momentum of events like Ric Flair, Edge, Chris Jericho, or even the Rock's return, you need to really establish your current and future guys as stars. That means having Cody Rhodes serving as Hardcore Holly's bitch is not going to cut it. That means having Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas jobbing to a makeshift tag team that no one cares about like Super Crazy and Jim Duggan is not going to cut it. That means having Snitsky, as a featured part of Raw, defeating jobbers in 30 seconds with a stupid pumphandle slam is simply not going to cut it.

For the love of God, if the WWE does get this opportunity and intends to take advantage of it CM Punk, Jeff Hardy, Mr. Kennedy, Umaga, Finlay, Matt Hardy, and MVP better come out the other side as huge stars.

If I had it my way, Shelton Benjamin, Lance Cade, Santino Marella, Val Venis, Jamie Noble, Elijah Burke, Beth Phoenix, and Victoria would be right there with them. What is it going to take for the WWE to write some good TV for these guys? With their look, charisma, and ability, it should be easy to get them over. Hell, the fact that they aren't over is blasphemous. Here is an analogy: If I was ever going to get an F in elementary school, I was going to have to try for it. Just showing up writing my name on the paper and taking the test would likely get me a C, even if I hadn't done any work prior. When it comes to these talents, WWE creative is getting an F… in elementary school… because you have to be trying to do THAT badly.

At any hot point in professional wrestling, you have great storylines in the main event and a hot exciting midcard full of guys you can see one day wearing the heavyweight title. Just because John Cena is sitting at home rehabbing a pectoral muscle doesn't mean that his theme music has no resonance in today's WWE landscape. If you work in the WWE offices, give a listen. Your time is up. The time is now!

If done correctly, this could be a hot as hell ECW World Title Match at WrestleMania 24:

Jericho Debuts... In My Mailbox

2007-11-13T15:22:00.001-05:00

Today when I opened my mailbox, the biggest angle of 2007 layed inside. I wouldn't call it a spoiler, because it only confirmed what we already knew. Chris Jericho has returned to the WWE.

In the magazine he cites John Cena and Shawn Michaels as reasons he wanted to return. He also mentions wrestling at Lance Storm's Academy to shake off the ring rust, as well as having a new finisher which did not debut in my mailbox.

Weight Classes Could Help Drug Problem in Wrestling

2007-11-10T21:36:00.000-05:00

When you turn on the television to watch wrestling, what do you see? Big beefy bodies usually. Tall, muscular heavyweight wrestlers are the rule of thumb in wrestling, for a variety of reasons.

I do not think the average person understands how difficult it is for a person to weigh in over 200 lbs. on a six foot frame and have a low body fat percentage. There is a reason that people that have body types like that are on the covers of magazines and can make good money with such a physique - it is not common. And, while having the talent to become a WWE star is not common either, proficiency at a sport does not necessarily require the physique of a Greek god.

Look at the sport of football. Big beefy offensive linemen are often promoted as being complete pigs because of their physique. Hell, football players like Mike Golic have even made careers after their playing days on the idea that linemen are eating machines. I’m sure everyone has heard a story about a local pro, college, or even high school team’s linemen going to some kind of buffet and being asked to leave after eating plate upon plate of food. In the NFL, these guys are athletes of the highest magnitude, and weigh an average of 285 lbs.

I ask you to take a look at your favorite NFL team next Sunday. How many of those players look as “ripped” as the WWE wrestlers? How many of them are built like bodybuilders? These guys are of the same height and weight as required by the WWE and are some of the highest paid athletes on the planet. They are required to be in the best possible physical condition to compete at the highest level of their sport.
Not to look like they are in the top condition to compete at the highest level.

According to people that I have spoken to that have been to places like OVW, or that have been scouted by Vince McMahon’s World Wrestling Entertainment, Inc., the only major wrestling promotion in the United States is not interested in any wrestlers who are under 250 pounds, and under 6’2” tall. In addition to those minimum requirements, they expect their wrestlers to have “the look”. “The Look” is a catch-all term meaning “the look of a bodybuilder”.

Chris Masters is a great example of this. This is a guy that, from the outside looking in, was not a great wrestler. The WWE even promoted him as having the body of a Greek god – thus he was branded “The Masterpiece”. Outside pressures (such as wrestlers dying and/or murdering their families) forced the WWE to start testing its competitors for steroids and other performance enhancing drugs and illegal narcotics such as marijuana. Suddenly, Masters found himself suspended. Then, he was ridiculed on television for losing weight while not taking the banned substances. It should be no surprise then that he failed another test, and was suspended again shortly after gaining most of his muscle mass back.

Last week, Masters was suspended yet again, and then released. No where did we hear any reports about McMahon or the WWE putting Masters into a drug counseling program, or the FBI or ATF questioning him about where he was getting these substances. This kid was chewed up and spit out by the WWE machine simply because he had “the look” and they required him to maintain this look. Afterall, wrestling skill was not important.

I am willing to bet that there are about 25 wrestlers who had a fair amount of publicity and reputation that, if they had debuted in the WWE in 2005, could have gained a fan following and drawn more money for the company than Masters. But, they were not winners of amateur bodybuilding contests like Masters. Nor were they all over six feet tall.

Simply put, the WWE does not hire the best wrestlers in the world; they hire people who look like models. Alex Rodriguez is poised to become the highest paid athlete in the planet, and I guarantee that not one team that is thinking of signing him has debated whether or not he has “the look” of a baseball player. No, A-Rod can prove all he needs to with a look at his stats. If he looks nice in his underwear, maybe he can pick up modeling work endorsing… underwear. Charles Barkley was always known as the “Round Mound of Rebound” because he was pudgy. Barkley also was a multiple time all-star and is on his way to the hall of fame because he could play basketball. Not because he had six pack abs.

So, why is having “the look” so important in wrestling? A look that, simply put, is not natural.

According to the American Heart Lung and Blood Institute, a person who is 6’2” and 250 lbs is obese. A person of that size would have a Body Mass Index of 32.1 – 2.1 points over the obesity threshold. While the ignorant masses watching RAW every Monday may look at stars such as John Cena and think that this is what an athlete is supposed to look like, it is actually the exact opposite. Looking like what the WWE wants is unhealthy.

I think there is a simple solution to all of this: weight classes.

The hottest fighting sport in the world right now is the Ultimate Fighting Championships. UFC is destroying the WWE when it comes to pay-per-view. UFC PPV events average about 400,000 buys – and they now take place on a monthly basis. While they may not generate the television revenue that WWE does, UFC sells nearly double what WWE does on PPV. When you ask people to name UFC stars they will often name Chuck Liddell, Randy Couture, Quinton Jackson, Rich Franklin, and Ken Shamrock. Except for Couture, none of those men fight as heavyweights for UFC. And Couture has fought most of his career as both a heavyweight, and a light heavyweight.

So, if no one wants to see average size people fight, why is UFC destroying WWE at the PPV box office? While there are a variety of factors why UFC may be a booming business, my argument is that the size of the competitor is not one of them.

Vince McMahon and people of his same train of thought will tell you that people will not pay to see “small” wrestlers because they want to be entertained by “larger than life characters”. That mentality comes from the fact that for years, the most prestigious title in all of sports was the Heavyweight Champion of the World. In Boxing. Why was it prestigious? Because the heavyweight division had characters like John L. Sullivan, Jack Johnson, Rocky Marciano, Muhammad Ali, George Foreman, Joe Frazier, and many, many more. These were all first class athletes, sure. They also were first class personalities. Guys like Jerry Cooney may have been good fighters, but they had no personality, so they were not stars. Roy Jones, Ray Leonard, Shane Mosley, Oscar de la Hoya – these guys are stars too because they had personality – despite not being heavyweights.

The WWE machine is about creating and branding a “personality”, rather than letting an athlete’s real personality shine thru. The territory days and the studio style of promo have gone away in favor of the WWE telling someone what their personality is. The WWE does not sign the best personalities it can find, they go for the bodies that define what wrestling should be to Vince McMahon.

What UFC has done is find a formula for promoting the personalities of their fighters in a way the WWE no longer does. UFC has press conferences, interviews with legitimate media outlets, and lets their fighters be themselves on their television shows such as “The Ultimate Fighter”. UFC has promoted their heavyweights as hard hitting and their smaller fighters as quick and exciting. Guys weighing in at 170lbs and standing 6’5” is not as uncommon as you might think. Heavyweights weighing in at 265 lbs and not having ripped six pack abs are the norm. Hell, guys like Chuck Liddell even get over with the fans because their bodies are more like a “working man”. UFC shows the monster eight hour workouts that guys like Tito Ortiz put themselves thru – and you see that Ortiz isn’t as ripped as Chris Masters. Ortiz trains to fight. Vince McMahon seems to have forgotten that is what is supposed to be going on in the ring – a fight.

“Weight Class” is a dirty phrase in wrestling. Everyone wants to be heavyweight champ, not a “junior” champ. Well, at least in the United States. Other than when WCW promoted the Cruiserweight Division in the late 1990’s, no major promotion in the US has given non-heavyweights a forum to get over a different style of ring work. In Japan, maybe you could debate if it was more prestigious to be the IWGP Heavyweight or Junior Heavyweight Champion in New Japan. In Mexico, the most prestigious championships are the CMLL and NWA Light Heavyweight Championships. In UFC, the division where the big money marquee matches are is the Light Heavyweight. Two guys under 200 lbs. fighting for a title can draw 20,000 paying fans to an arena in Japan, Mexico, and the US – but not for the WWE. Or so says Vince McMahon.

Currently, the WWE has three different heavyweight championships. They have zero singles championships for non-heavyweights (or did you not notice that the Cruiserweight Championship disappeared after Hornswaggle won it?). Is it even at all possible to conceive that there are not enough wrestlers out there less than 200 lbs. for the largest wrestling company in the world to put together a division for them, but they have so many good heavyweights that they put together three different divisions for them?

Maybe the WWE product would become less stale, fewer wrestlers would die, and ratings and buyrates would increase if the WWE actually promoted wrestling by athletes instead of crappy acting by bodybuilders.
Here is what the WWE could do:

Hold a tournament to merge the Raw, Smackdown and ECW Heavyweight titles, as well as the US and Intercontinental titles. The winner would be the only heavyweight holding a singles title in the WWE. Plenty of room in this division for guys like HHH, Batista, Undertaker, Mark Henry, Khali, Randy Orton, Bobby Lashley, Ken Kennedy, John Cena, and others.

Hold a sixteen man cruiserweight tournament, with the winner getting the revived Cruiserweight Championship. This would only be for wrestlers who weigh less than 200 lbs., such as Super Crazzy, Matt Hardy, Shawn Michaels, Carlito Colon, Cody Rhodes, Chavito Guerrero, Montel Porter, Greg Helms, Elijah Burke, Stevie Richards, and Edge.

Introduce a “Welterweight” Championship for wrestlers weighing less than 175lbsWrestlers such as Shannon Moore, Rey Misterio, Jr., Jimmy Yang, Jeff Hardy, Spanky Kendick, Paul London, CM Punk, The Miz, and John Morrison could compete in this division.

I’m not even going to get into tag teams, as that could be another topic completely (Hmmm… next week’s blog topic?!?), but you cannot tell me that the prospect of a card with three big title matches consisting of Batista/Undertaker, Hardy/MVP and Morrison/Punk would draw worse then anything they do now – because that is the same damn thing they are pushing now.

The difference is that by introducing titles for different weight classes, you keep wrestlers healthy, and you have to bring something to that weight class to get a shot in the first place. Bigger isn’t always better.

Just ask Chris Masters.

Don't Miss CNN's Death Grip

2007-11-10T17:32:00.000-05:00

Tonight I plan on watching the presentation from CNN Special Investigations Unit, "Death Grip - Inside Pro Wrestling."

Death Grip is a look at the professional wrestling industry and what has become of it. Analysis of the increase in deaths by various causes is what they will focus on.

This is a replay of the event, tonight (Saturday, November 10th). A good friend of mine caught this show when it originally aired on Tuesday night and he highly recommended it.

Check out the rundown of the show at this link. Looks like the McMahons have quite a bit to say on the topic. Come back to the Pundit and let us know what you think after you watch the show.

-NAPALM-

Chyna Changes her Name, Challenges Vince

2007-11-10T08:30:00.000-05:00

Joanie Laurer, former WWE wrestler turned porn star, turned train wreck, has legally changed her name and is now looking to change Vince McMahon's face.

The lady who at one time was the women's champion of the WWE, has also challenged Vince McMahon to a one-time match.

She claims the challenge has to do with the way she has been treated by Vince the last 8 years, although I could not find any reports of mistreatment towards her on Vince's part.

I hope this move turns out to be a positive thing for Chyna, now that she can legally call herself that without worry of legal pressure from Vince. Since her departure from the WWE, it has been a consistent down slide featuring drug abuse, bad relationships and desperate attempts for attention. This is truly just her latest attempt for that attention she seems to deserve, but hopefully, it will be enough of an internal victory that she can begin to move on and continue to rebuild her livelihood.

Check out the interview on TMZ.com, Here.

-NAPALM-

ECWA Super 8 Injury; Surprise Entrant?

2007-11-09T13:36:00.000-05:00

The ECWA site is reporting that "MDOGG" Matt Cross suffered an injury that will leave him unable to compete in the annual Super 8 tournament in Newark, Delaware scheduled for November 10.

Cross is now officially being replaced by TNA's Sonjay Dutt, who will join Jerry Lynn, Rob Conway, Billy Bax, Rob Eckos, Matt Logan, Human Tornado, and Brian Fury in the tournament.

Whoever wins Super 8 stands to get a lot of exposure, as past Super 8 competitors has read like a "Who's Who" of up and coming stars over the years, including: Simon Diamond, Devon Storm, Reckless Youth, Scott "2 Hotty" Taylor, Mike Quackenbush, Matt and Jeff Hardy, Christian York, Christopher Daniels, Low Ki (Senshi), Bryan Danielson, Brian Kendrick, Paul London, A.J. Styles, Robert Roode, Matt Stryker, Frank Kazarian, Chris Sabin, Roderick Strong, Psichosis, Austin Aries, Daivari, Petey Williams, Alex Shelley, and Charlie Haas.

Jericho Returning to WWE? Not So Fast...

2007-11-05T22:15:00.000-05:00

I know that many wrestling fans are interested in learning of the plans for Chris Jericho in the WWE, so I couldn’t wait to make this post on the Pro Wrestling Pundit.

If the “Save Us” promos are indeed something having to do with the return of Chris Jericho, then we may be seeing them for quite some time.

Last week, Jericho appeared on the Sirius Satellite Radio Channel Howard 101 with Bubba the Love Sponge. On the show, Bubba was grilling him pretty heavily on if and when he would be returning to the WWE. Chris danced around the question quite a bit, but he did say something like, “The only thing I can tell you for sure is that I am promoting my book for the next month.”

In other words, Jericho is probably not going to be making appearance on WWE TV for a while, and when / if he does, he may start out promoting his book, similar to how Mick Foley has done in the past.

Speaking of the book, Jericho highlighted in the interview that following the Chris Benoit tragedy, he had to go back include a foreword to the book. From what Jericho said, throughout the book, he discusses his early career, friendship and other experiences with Chris Benoit, written in a very positive light. He had to go back and indicate that his writings were about the Chris Benoit he knew, or that he thought he knew.

Some other interesting points that were brought up included an altercation Jericho had with Bill Goldberg, regarding how disappointing their feud angle had become. They had words backstage and eventually Goldberg reached out and grabbed Jericho by the throat. Jericho told Bubba that instead of saying something witty or beating Jericho up, all Goldberg did was growl at him. Jericho then said he wasn’t intimidated and due to his experience as a mat wrestler in high school was able to get Goldberg to the ground and leverage him into a submission maneuver that he had seen done in an MMA fight.

Jericho also eluded to the political moves Scott Hall and Kevin Nash tried to pull when the NWO angle was brought to WWE. Solidifying their reputation for poor business skills, Jericho said Scott Hall constantly wanted to cut promos in the ring as opposed to developing angles on TV by wrestling. There was also a time when Hall, Nash, and Hogan had Jericho in a room trying to convince him to do their angle the way they wanted to do it, but Jericho said he refused. He made his points that he felt the way he wanted to do it was best for business, and eventually they all agreed to let it go down the way Jericho wanted. Hogan would later approach him and applauded his standing up for himself and the good business sense that he had.

-NAPALM-

Image Source

Remembering Moolah

2007-11-04T19:58:00.000-05:00

Lillian Ellison, better known by her alias, The Fabulous Moolah passed away over this weekend. A true legend, Moolah is given credit by Beth Phoenix, Tammy Sytch, Victoria, and many others as being the reason that they have had such successful careers in the world of professional wrestling.

The first woman to hold both the NWA and WWF women's championships, Moolah grew up idolizing another legend in Mildred Burke. Ellison debuted as Slave Girl Moolah, but later went on to become dominant under her more well-known Fabulous name. Her first World title reign begin in the mid 1950's, and she would hold the Women's world title on and off all the way until the 1980's. Revisionist WWE history suggests she never lost the title during that 30 year period, and while that's not true, the amount of time she didn't hold the belt was a period of weeks.

The first real professional wrestling "screwjob" occured when Moolah regained her title by beating Wendi Richter. She would dominate for two more years. Moolah dissapeared as the Women's championship lost steam in the U.S. In 1995 she became the first woman in the WWE Hall of Fame.

Moolah began making semi-regular WWE appearances in 1999, and actually captured the World title again at the age of 76. Moolah wrestled her last televised WWE match against Victoria on her 80th birthday. After defeating my favorite diva, she received an RKO from Legend Killer Randy Orton.

WWE had the following to say about Moolah:

"WWE is saddened by the passing of Lillian Ellison, who was known to sports-entertainment fans as Hall of Famer Fabulous Moolah. She passed away last night in Columbia, S.C.

In the world of women’s wrestling, there will always be one irrefutable legend that stands head and shoulders above the rest: The Fabulous Moolah. She was the longest reigning champion in the history of her chosen sport, or any sport for that matter. And with more than 50 years in the business to her credit, she established a legacy that will never be forgotten, making her name synonymous with female wrestling."

Way to Go, Roid-O

2007-11-03T10:43:00.000-04:00

Like father, like son? DH Smith is living up to his name. After all, it's presumed that most Major League Baseball designated hitters are abusing steriods, and now it's presumed that old Designated Hitter Smith is too.

Smith's past comments on the issue suggested that he had learned all that he needed to from his father, and would not touch the stuff. If I want to take Smith as a man of his word, I have to assume that he is abusing an alternate substance.

Smith will be serving a 30 day wellness policy violation. Chris Masters on the other hand will be serving a 60 day suspension, meaning that after one more, he is out of the WWE.

There is some confusion as this appears to be Masters' third. Masters first trip to rehab predates the current version of the Wellness policy. Fans will remember that Masters returned looking "leaner and meaner." The sole lost PWP article suggested he looked more like a weiner.

Triple H decided to poke fun at Masters' muscle loss on WWE TV, sending the message that the Masterpiece is nothing without his overboard physique. Hopefully both Masters and Smith can get past the demons that are currently haunting them and make a great deal of money in the wrestling business.

For the first time, WWE is publicly releasing violators names. Both Smith and Masters stories have been picked up by Sports Illustrated.

CMLL Pays For Overexposure of Mistico

2007-11-01T01:24:00.000-04:00

The scenario sounds familiar. In fact, it has happened a number of times to a number of different wrestling companies. Now, it is happening again. Although the landscape is different, very different in fact, one of the most talent rich wrestling promotions in the world could be on the verge of a serious collapse. Tough times could be ahead.

In 1996, WCW hit the jackpot with the NWO. The promotion that brought together the stars of the 1980s, the top WWF stars of the 1990s, plus some of the best young wrestlers in the US, Mexico and Japan helped ignite the wrestling business to another “boom period”. The spark that started the fire was the NWO. In fact, WCW’s take on the UWF-New Japan wars of the early 1990s got over so much that they expanded it to the point that nearly everything in the promotion revolved around the NWO. WCW’s big draw was the NWO, but when it came time to start pushing the next big thing to prevent the product from becoming stale, they balked. Instead, they stayed with the NOW as their ace in the hole, thinking that having those three letters on top would keep them the number one promotion in the US forever. Instead, the company’s business went down the tubes.

At the same time the NWO was hot and drawing huge money for WCW, the WWF was getting murdered. However, they also had something people were drawn to almost as much as the NWO - Steve Austin. Eventually the WWF did the same thing as WCW, and their promotion became centered on Austin and his war with Vince McMahon. However, in contrast to WCW, the WWF also found a way to build up Foley, HHH, the Rock and others, so that when Austin was put on the shelf and the focus of the promotion was forced to change, the WWF was able to surge and show staying power.

There are books and websites and tons of material discussing at what point WCW actually started their demise. I always thought the point where WCW screwed up was the debacle of Starrcade 97. Although WCW did good business after that, they were never full able to recover from the matchmaking and promotional blunders that took place on that card – a card with the highest buyrate ever at that point in time.

The same thing is currently happening in CMLL. Right now. Instead of the promotion being built around a hot group like the NWO, it is built around Mistico. The story behind Mistico is that he was a poor orphan living on the streets of Mexico City, who was taken into an orphanage, where it was somehow discovered that he had an amazing ability for wrestling. The famous wrestling priest Fray Tormenta, whom the movie “Nacho Libre” was loosely inspired by, took Mistico under his wing and trained him to be a great wrestler.

Mistico was special not only because he was a wholesome religious lad, but because he his amazing athletic ability was the work of God himself – who personally guided Mistico to victory after victory. Mistico debuted in the CMLL midcard and started getting pins over guys more experienced and higher on the card than him – thanks to God. It was almost like Goldberg in WCW.

The thing was, Mistico appealed to everyone that attended shows in CMLL’s arenas. He was like a taller leaner Rey Misterio Jr. in the ring. Before too long, everything in CMLL was revolving around Mistico. Rudos were lining up to challenge him, since it was guaranteed to be a sell out man event facing off with Mistico in a singles match. Helping him greatly was the fact that two of the most popular wrestlers in Mexico, Hijo del Santo and Dr. Wagner Jr. took Mistico under their wing and teamed with him on a regular basis against said rudos.

Much like the NWO in WCW however, CMLL had so thoroughly integrated Mistico into their cards, their matchmaking, and their promotion, he soon became overexposed. And, since God was helping Mistico win all of his matches, the “smart” fans in Arena Mexico started to turn on the company’s biggest star.

The first hint of this was when Black Warrior turned on Mistico - people cheered him because they were tired of Mistico. “Rudo Fans”, which are a group made up of mostly men who attend CMLL shows, backed Warrior as they understood why he turned on the glory hound Mistico.

Kids and women continued to cheer “El Principe de Plata y Oro” however. Warrior was an impressive veteran rudo who took full advantage of the spotlight a feud with Mistco provided; Warrior exposed the chink in the Mistico armor. Mistico’s rivals should have then been exploiting that, and promoted as on the same par as Mistico. Instead, Warrior was downplayed, and for most of the summer of 2007, he was not even booked on major CMLL cards.

Dr. Wagner Jr., a rudo-style wrestler, became one of the most popular fan favorites in all of Mexico after the passing of his legendary father a few years ago. In 2005, Wagner was the fan favorite all the rudos were lining up to wrestle, because that was where the money was. In fact, CMLL still attempted to promote and push Wagner as a rudo against other popular fan favorites such as Atlantis and LA Park, only to have fans turn against them and side with Wagner.

During this past summer, Wagner was once again put in this position by CMLL – only this time against Mistico. Anyone with half a brain could see what CMLL was thinking here – Wagner is a rudo in style, and him as a rudo against Mistico would do huge business. In reality, many fans were already lukewarm towards Mistico, who was being shoved down their throats to no end. Sure, he still had his fans amongst children and women, but most of the men populating Arena Mexico were going to cheer anyone facing off with Mistico. Anyone with half a brain could see that Wagner facing off with Mistico was only going to take more away from Mistico’s fanbase.

Wagner befriended his enemies and did what he had to do to get matches against Mistico – just to prove that he was the better wrestler. Finally the match was made, and when the two faced off last July in their first ever one-on-one encounter in Arena Mexico, it was one of the biggest matches of the year.

However, this match could possibly have been CMLL’s version of Starrcade 97. Wagner had Mistico defeated, powerbombing him on the hard wooden floor outside the ring. Then, that rudo that Wagner befriended, Ultimo Guerrero, interfered and laid out Wagner. Mistico slid back into the ring and got the pinfall, at which point a full scale riot ensued. 18000 fans in Arena Mexico came to see Wagner win. Wagner should have won. What they did not want to see was Mistico get a bullshit win over Wagner that he didn’t deserve.

The situation still could have been salvaged however. After the match, Wagner and Guerrero were laying out challenges as fans littered the ring with trash; it made sense that CMLL would heavily push a feud between Wagner and Guerrero which should have made a lot of money, afterall, it was the number one fan favorite against the top rudo. Instead, CMLL deemphasized Wagner, and a public battle began that saw Wagner leave the company.

You can’t shove a something down the throat of people if they do not want it - but CMLL has nothing else. If the feud progressed to that point, Wagner vs. Guerrero for masks could be the type of match that draws and does the type of business that Atlantis vs. Villano III did for CMLL in 2000. Maybe even Rayo de Jalisco Jr. vs. Cien Caras type money. The big feud that followed the Wagner debacle was Blue Panther and Lizmark Jr. – and attendance quickly dropped as Mistico sat on the sidelines healing up injuries. Just as how WCW could not part with the NWO, CMLL won’t halt Mistico's push, because they have nothing to follow it. Mistico working semi-main events or lower on the card doesn’t seem like an option to CMLL - for whatever reason.

The boos and the trash pelting the ring showed that the fans are behind Wagner – just as the WCW fans were behind Sting. Just like Sting in 97, Wagner was screwed out of his place atop the hottest wrestling company in the world. There is nothing wrong with the guy that was your top draw being put on the back burner. That is how you keep a guy fresh for when the next moneymaking program comes along.

The only thing to point the blame at is CMLL’s matchmakers and promoters. Mistico is their Hulk Hogan. While Hogan was always a draw when he had a top-notch opponent that was a threat to him, when he had no Piper or Andre, or Sting, or Savage, he was not the same draw. Plus, when Hogan was on top of the WWF and even WCW, there were other draws in the company. Warriors, Rude, Luger, Flair, etc. With the talent roster CMLL has, they should be having spectacular cards and making fistfuls of cash with Mistico anywhere on the card – even at the top. However, Mistico is the only guy that CMLL pushes as a star. In the mind of the fans, that makes everyone else second-class.

Perrito Aguayo is a star that should be pushed as an equal to Mistico. But, no one is allowed to expose those chinks in the armor, because that might hurt the draw. Will little kids come to cheer for their hero if he is left battered and bloody by the Guerreros every week?

Wrestlers like Averno, Mephisto, Volador Jr., Stuka Jr, Sombre, Valiente Jr. – are the future of CMLL. None of these guys get to face Mistico, because they might outshine him. Perrito, Guerrero, Wagner, Warrior, and a handful of others should be promoted as Mistico’s equals or more – not as guys a half step behind. There is no reason Mistico needs to hold four of CMLL’s championships at once. CMLL is guilty of a lot of dumb decisions recently.

CMLL brought back the well past their prime and out of shape Villanos. Supposedly the Villaos are close to retirement, and are looking for a hot feud to put up their masks before they wind their carriers down. Villano IV however, blew out his knee shortly after debuting. After the injury, CMLL kept III & V around – and they had a series of terrible matches they seemed to be randomly thrown in that didn’t draw a lick.

In smart circles, it is known that Mistico is under a long-term contract to CMLL, which underpays him. Recently CMLL and Hijo del Santo had a very negative falling out (similar to Wagner) due to CMLL not wanting to pay Santo what he was getting from other promoters around Mexico and the US. While it is never a good idea to screw up your entire roster's payroll for one guy, CMLL no longer can bring in Santo to spike attendance like they used to do.

In Mexico, heavyweights are not generally the focus of the company as they are in the US. A legitimate heavyweight that they use regularly is Marco Corleone, aka Mark Jindrak. Instead of pushing him as a huge gringo threat to the heavyweight title, he is booked as a babyface pretty boy… in a group with Shocker, who no shows more often than not. Corleone is by no means straight out of the 1990's All Japan, but he could bring something to a heavyweight division if they booked one. Instead he is just a big pretty American they have on cards.

A great tag team in Perrito Aguayo and Hector Garza is not even used as such. Instead, Perrito is mildly pushed as a singles wrestler (getting pushed against Mistico in main events on occasion), and Garza works the second tier arenas. And their group, the Perros del mal, is a huge draw for the ladies. A feud with Negro Casas & Mistico over the CMLL Tag Titles would probably draw money.

The wildly popular Mascarita Sagrada II jumped from AAA to CMLL, and was promptly remarketed as Mascarita Dorido, and booked to debut outside of Arena Mexico on a secondary show to no fanfare. This was after CMLL made a huge deal about signing him away from AAA.

Finally, Wagner leaving CMLL. Wagner not only was a ridiculously popular wrestler who drew money, but he also booked big independent shows, and trained a lot of CMLL talent. While supposedly Santo is looking to start his own promotion, Wagner has enough talent and venues to actually start a group that could have some success, if he desired.Wagner has said repeatedly he has no interest in going to AAA.

So, time will tell. CMLL will never go out of business, as they own their own arenas and are on solid financial ground – after all they have been around 75 years. The wrestling business has been hot in Mexico for about five years now – as hot as it was in the US at the height of the Monday Night Wars. AAA is still doing great business – although with a smaller roster and less shows. Will CMLL continue to do less than 10000 fans at Arena Mexico for big shows with the way they are booking, or will things get even worse?

Much like the demise of WCW, only time will tell how it all will unfold.

Will teams of five indeed strive to survive?

2007-10-31T06:23:00.000-04:00

It has been the entire theme of Survivor Series past (at least for the most part,) the 8 to 10 man Elimination Matches. I'm a big fan of this PPV for the Survivor Series matches themselves, so needless to say I get a little pissed during the years that they have little to no Survivor Series Matches themselves. Sorry, but Elimination Chamber doesn't do it for me. Would you scrap the tired and true Royal Rumble format in place of a "Monster Mash" Battle Royal? I would certainly hope not. I'm a big fan of gimmick matches and consistancy, so I'm all for sticking with what brought them to the dance.

Now that we're past the tapings we're unofficially a week past Cyber Sunday and have only announced the WWE Title Match. That's fine and all, there's still time to let feuds culminate in the traditional elimination matches. Seeing as how they've been going with the 6 match PPV format as of late, here is my dream Survivor Series card. I will officially crap my match if any of this actually happens though...

The Great Khali, Mark Henry, Big Daddy V, and MVP, and Edge vs Batista, Undertaker, Kane, Matt Hardy, and Ric Flair (Hyping the returns of both Edge and Flair)

Rey Mysterio, Chuck Palumbo, Jimmy Wang Yang, Jesse, and Festus vs Finlay, Kenny Dykstra, Chris Masters, Deuce, and Domino (Yang's kind of the Wild Card, but it evens things out)

CM Punk, Tommy Dreamer, Stevie Richards, Balls Mahoney, and The Boogeyman vs John Morrison, Kevin Thorn, Elijah Burke, The Miz, and Nunzio (The ECW Roster actually gets a payday!)

Triple H, Jeff Hardy, DH Smith, Cody Rhodes, and Hardcore Holly vs Umaga, Mr Kennedy, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, and Charlie Haas (of course everyone not named Triple H or Umaga would be considered filler)

Santino Marella, Lance Cade, Trevor Murdoch, and The Highlanders vs Paul London, Brian Kendrick, Hornswaggle, Ron Simmons, and Steve Austin (okay this one is stretching it a little but why the hell)

Beth Phoenix, Melina, Victoria, Layla and Jillian Hall vs Kelly Kelly, Mickie James, Maria, Torrie Wilson, and Michelle McCool (When was the last time they had a Women's Survivor Series Match?)

There you have it. While it breaks the mold and has 7 matches on a $40 PPV, I could justify spending the money on a card that looks like this. And keep in mind I haven't felt any PPV this year outside of The Royal Rumble or Wrestlemania worth going to a Sports Bar to watch for the price of dinner...

New Pro Wrestling Illustrated Features Jericho Interview

2007-10-30T15:40:00.001-04:00

Available today on newsstands is the new issue of Pro Wrestling Illustrated, which has Triple-H on the cover. This issue includes the transcript from an in-depth interview conducted with Chris Jericho by one of PWI's most respected writers.

As the tagline reads, "After completing work on his book, 'A Lion's Tale: Around the World in Spandex,' Chris Jericho spoke with Senior Writer Dan Murphy about his life after wrestling, the creative process, and how the biggest story of 2007 affected not only his life, but also his book."

Backstage Raw News

2007-10-30T13:36:00.001-04:00

Even though Chris Jericho did not show up (on camera),WWE and Jericho did a lot to try to swerve the fans last night.

For starters, one of my colleagues confirmed that Jericho actually cut his autograph signing - at the University of Penn Barnes and Noble - short last night, offering no real excuse. Those in charge of the event claimed after he left that he had to make it to the arena as soon as possible.

WWE also had the staff of the Wachovia Center block off an entire quarter of the stadium that overlooks the loading docks below. These docks are where the wrestlers arrive and leave, and also where they film the parking lot segments. Traditionally, they tend to block off access to this section whenever there's somebody showing up that they want to keep as a surprise.

I was also excited to see that Jason Static had a match against Ron Simmons, presumably for Heat. Static was actually my first interview for an Introducing column upon joining Pro Wrestling Illustrated! I called and left him a voicemail while he was in the ring, but, unfortunately, the match did not last as long as my voicemail.

Mick Foley's appearance was a complete surprise to just about everybody in the arena. He arrived presumably in a limo and was quickly escorted inside. Perhaps he was the real reason for the blocked section of the arena.

Even though I did not actually make it backstage, I did have a guy on the inside who confirmed the presence of Foley well before the start of the show.

Why We Watch...

2007-10-30T11:08:00.000-04:00

I distinctly remember the beginning of my relationship with professional wrestling. I was taking advantage of the opportunity that having a babysitter gives you. Long past my bedtime, I was sitting on the couch in my pajamas. With a tootsie pop in my mouth, I flipped the channel to Saturday Night's Main Event. I saw Hulk Hogan and Randy "Macho Man" Savage and it was as if He-Man had become real. The fuse was ignited that night that would eventually make the MegaPowers explode at that year's WrestleMania. During a match with the Twin Towers, Savage was tossed violently into Elizabeth. Hogan went to the back to help her, leaving Savage alone to face Akeem and the Bossman. I thought back then that if I only had a few minutes with Hogan and Savage I could help them squash their beef. Twenty years later, I still feel that way.

Sooner than later I found the National Wrestling Alliance/World Championship Wrestling on TV. I remember being amazed watching an I Quit match between Terry Funk and Ric Flair on free TV at the Clash of the Champions.

I loved the main events, but I always had an eye towards the midcard. It always seemed to be the case that I would find a cool heel to enjoy just up until they turned him babyface and the whole world loved him. Examples of this were Shawn Michaels and The Rock. About the only heel that didn't lose something when he became top mainstream babyface was John Cena, and that's cause half the fans still hated him always.

There is something special about feeling ownership of a wrestler, and I'd argue that that is why we watch. Remembering Bret Hart's days in the Hart Foundation or Steve Austin's days in the Dangerous Alliance make it that much sweeter when they meet as major stars at WrestleMania 13.

Today I look at Shelton Benjamin and Elijah Burke with the same anticipation I have previously looked at Brian Pillman, Randy Orton, Buff Bagwell, and Droz with. Of course sometimes it works out, and sometimes it doesn't.

Still, it's hard not to be cynical when you can think fondly on the old days and imagine Hulk Hogan, Ric Flair, Randy Savage, Sting, The Ultimate Warrior, Rick Rude, Vader, Jake Roberts, Arn Anderson, Ted Dibiase, and others at their peak.

It's also difficult to remember tag teams like Demolition, the Road Warriors, The Rockers, Doom, The Skyscrapers, the Midnight Express, and so many more and not long for them.

Even the days when WCCW, USWA, or GWF would come on ESPN on Wednesday afternoons bring some nostalgia.

By comparison when you compare today's wrestling atmosphere to all the memories of the past 20 years, it just doesn't compare. Still, we watch…

We watch because we are waiting for the next big breakthrough. Will it be Mr. Kennedy? Will it be Jeff Hardy? Only time will tell.

We watch because some of those larger than life characters we remember are still around like the Undertaker and Shawn Michaels, and they have been intertwined with those we've learned to care about in the meantime like Edge, Triple H, and Rey Mysterio.

We watch because even though we aren't likely to see a big interesting defection the way we did during the old WCW/WWE days, we can still mark out months after waiting for Chris Jericho to return on TV, because that moment when he does will undoubtedly be incredible.

We watch because Cody Rhodes and DH Hart keep us grounded and remind us where we came from. We watch because new generation stars like AJ Styles and Christopher Daniels show us where we are going.

We watch because every week Jay Lethal or Santino Marella is going to do that little something extra that makes us smile.

No matter how disillusioned we get with what wrestling is and no matter how much better we think it could be, we watch.

Now I am certainly not going to sit in any bleachers and cry that it's still real to me, damnit. I am not sure that it ever was real to me. It was larger than life.

A few weeks ago I sat at a local Indy show in the bleachers about to cry because the first half of the show was incredibly bad. It picked up though, and by the end I felt I had gotten my money's worth.

In a time where the most newsworthy wrestling happenings involved Candice Michelle falling on her face, I struggle to write, but I refuse to just dump on the product.

Is it easy to come up with anti-WWE and anti-TNA banter? Of course. Right now I probably like wrestling less than I have at any point in the past 20 years, but still I watch.

Professional wrestling seems to have cast a weird spell over thousands. It's one that those who aren't under will never understand. Those of use who are don't even get it sometimes.

Maybe I will never get the wrestling show I wish for until I get to heaven. I assume that at 25 years old, by the time I get there all my favorites will be there with me.

Rest In Peace to all the former warriors of the squared circle. Your contributions are why we are here today. You are fondly remembered and greatly missed.

The Outcast, the Legend, the Wolf is back for another opinionated commentary:

When I first read the teaser to your current column, I thought that Vince had fired the fans again, but then I wondered, how can you fire someone that you haven't paid, have constantly berated for being wrong, whom you've constantly given one thing when they've been asking for something completely different, who have seen your ass more times than they've seen Jenna Haze's (and seeing as most of the core fans are teenage boys with internet service, that's a lot of times!) and with everything that you've done they keep coming back for more as if the cookies on this side of the fence are better.

But since the column isn't about US getting fired, I'll talk about the guys that you mention while I keep checking the mail box for that check from Vince (hell, with all the ideas that he's stolen from the internet, I'm shocked that he hasn't sent out a check, and that he keeps shutting down e-feds. they're a gold mine to him!)

Seeing Teddy Hart get the axe is SOOOOOOOOOOO Shocking to me (did I lay on the sarcasm enough? Ya think so? Ok, moving on) why do people keep signing this guy? (quick check on the last name and ok, I guess we know!) Ya think if Kid Kash were Kid Hart that he'd get that many chances? Exactly. I say, let the guy rot in the independents until he gets his desire, energy, and a respect for the business that he is riding the coattails of. If he ever grows up and stops using his name as a springboard then things might turn up better. If he does not, then he'll be the worst Hart ever (Including Bruce. C'mon, he might have been all right in the ring, but he had the personality of a cheese-it!).

To Ryan O'Reilly and Krissy Vaine I have this to say: HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! You two are the dumbest mutha f*ckas on the planet! You wait until you get called up to leave the company? If you two are really in love, suck it up (once again this is a FAMILY show, so minds out of the gutter) and deal with it. You obviously don't care about the business if you are ready to leave the biggest company around so that you can be close to each other. Hell, one Sunday a month you'll be in the same building, and that right there is more than I see my wife sometimes AND WE LIVE TOGETHER! Go to TNA where you'll be two more people who don't get any face time and wonder why you chose love over the passion for the business that brought you both together. See what happens if you two don't last. You won't get another chance that easily!

As far as Daivari is concerned, the guy lasted longer than I ever expected one they bailed out on the whole Hassan thing (although if they put them on Raw and run with it, they would've been KILLER heels) he had a decent run, made what I'm sure is a decent amount of money and I'm sure had a blast for the most part living his dream (unlike Hollywood Hassan who seemed to only want fame!) Good Luck to him, although he'll need a little bit of a gimmick change.

Now for the release you've all been waiting for me to comment on, King BOOKA And Queen Sharmell! For someone who gave everything he had for the last zillion years or so, did everything that he was asked since he's been apart of the WWEmpire, they treated him like crap the entire time, and he didn't deserve it! Should he get a title run on his way out of the door? No, but a nice send off would be better than "The WWE has come to terms with..." It's insulting to him and anyone who is a fan of his. But then again, something tells me that if Shane pissed off Vince enough (We all know that Steph couldn't possibly piss him off, so it'll have to be Shane) then the only thing we'd see is "The WWE has come to terms with the contractual release of one Shane O' Mac. We wish him well in all future endeavors." All kidding aside, if Book wasn't so closely linked to WCW his send off would be much more celebrated, no matter what. Just look at how many times Hogan's gotten the warm send off, and Vince HATES him now! Not that Book was ever at Hogan or Flair levels, but you get the idea. All in all, I hope that TNA gives him a short, midcard send off for a couple of months, and he beats someone like Christian Cage or Scott Steiner in his "final" "big two/three/four" match.

Then again, knowing TNA, they'll sign him and (Points thumbs at himself) R...V...D! And recreate the most misused and misguided tag teams in the history of wrestling. RVD and Booker should've never been a team. That's almost as dumb as X-Pac and Kane!

I agree Wolf. X-Pac and Kane were a horrible tag team. Here, watch the greatest tag team of all time in the match that made me a wrestling fan.

“HITMAN” PUTS HIMSELF IN THE CROSSHAIRS FOR TELL-ALL MEMOIR

2007-10-28T17:11:00.000-04:00

By Anthony Kingdom James for ProWrestlingPundit.blogspot.com

When I was in my early teens, growing up in the Toronto suburb of Scarborough, my friends Bobby and Wayne introduced me to the exciting world of professional wrestling. Soon, we were watching every minute of every match we could get our hands on. There was Jim Crockett’s NWA from the Mid-Atlantic States. Verne Gagne’s AWA from the mid-west. The hours upon hours of Japanese tapes the Wayne brought home from his job as a dish-washer in a local sushi restaurant. The three hours of Bill Watts’ incredible UWF promotion that my cousin had on tape. A new version of Stampede Wrestling was being shown across Canada on TSN. And of course, there was Vince McMahon’s WWF.

Back then, there were three wrestlers in the WWF (now WWE) that I couldn’t get enough of: The Dynamite Kid, Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart and Bret “The Hitman” Hart. The latter two formed a tag team aptly named “The Hart Foundation”. When we wrestled on the lawn next to our apartment building, that’s exactly who Wayne and Bobby and I thought we were. Dynamite, The Anvil and The Hitman. Then, as well as now, I was shaped more like Neidhart, so that was the part I played... but man, did I want to be Bret Hart.

As the Dynamite Kid’s body succumbed to years of abuse in and out of thering and Neidhart’s star faded, I followed along as Bret Hart’s career blossomed. From opening match “jobber” to mid-card workhorse to World Champion to icon, Hart grew in both stature and ability.

When I became a professional wrestler myself, I was still always more Anvil than Hitman but I tried to emulate Hart in small ways. When I finally had the pleasure of meeting and spending time with Hart in January 2006, he had been living in Italy for some time after remarrying. I tried to soak in every moment I could; asking him questions, listening to his stories... catching him up on NHL and CFL goings-on. And still, those few days only gave me a small window into this man who was still a personal hero to me.

Now, Bret Hart has thrown that window wide open for fans and detractors alike to get a good look at the life of the man behind “The Hitman”.

"Life as a pro wrestler is highly addictive”, says Bret Hart in his new autobiography "Hitman: My Real Life in the Cartoon World of Wrestling". "Once you get a taste for it, your old life fades away and disappears", and oh, what a strange new life awaits those who join Hart and make the journey.

Hart describes a life that harkens the reader to thoughts of living within The Matrix. He paints a picture that makes life on the road as a wrestler sound vibrant, colorful and adventurous yet fraught with pitfalls and temptations. And much like Keanu Reeves’ character of Neo, Hart must learn a very special and sometimes logic-defying fighting system to survive in this surrealistic world. When Hart occasionally disconnects from that life, a life he knows isn't quite real, it means returning home to the drabness of marital strife and the type of familial in-fighting that most people attribute to Shakespeare's writing.... or possibly an
episode of some tawdry afternoon talk show.

The 7-time World Heavyweight champion calls upon over two decades worth of audio journals he recorded during his time on the road as the foundation for writing the monstrous 500+ pages of this book. Hart chronicles his long struggle to protect the honor and integrity of his wrestling persona while admitting to a laundry list of indiscretions in his personal life and Hart's recounting of his life as meticulous as it is scathing. On one hand, Hart praises himself repeatedly for his professionalism as a wrestler; never missing shows, never injuring opponents, never “screwing” anyone. On the other hand, he frankly admits to dabbling in steroid and narcotics use in the spring of his career and having a voracious sexual
appetite. And while he doesn’t absolve himself of his sins, he at least attempts to justify the latter vice by claiming that chasing women distracted him from falling into the bottomless pit of heavy drug and alcohol abuse that swallowed up so many other wrestlers of his generation.

Part of the fun of this weighty tell-all tome is that Hart doesn’t just employ these moral yardsticks for his own behavior but rather as a set of standards that he held everyone to. Both good and bad, Hart scrutinizes the behavior and the work ethic (or lack thereof) of everyone in his life: wrestlers and employers, fans and family. No one is spared, especially those closest to him.

Hart comes off as thoughtful and well-spoken, truthful and deeply emotional. At the same time, he uses the book to offer himself up as one of many martyrs to the wrestling industry. The problem with this is most people expect our martyrs to be humble and while it might be wrong to call Hart braggadocios neither could you quite call him humble. And although a lot has been said, written and put to film about Hart’s life already, this book is a must.

Growing up as one of 12 children.Trying to measure up to his famous father’s reputation and expectations. Learning the art and science of professional wrestling. The growth of his career. The slow death of his marriage. The infamous, industry-altering “Montreal Screw-Job”. The death of his brother Owen. The accident that ended his career. His stroke and recovery. And all of the friends, enemies, parties, fights, triumphs and tragedies in between.

It’s all there and it’s all true, even the "fake" stuff. In fact, the fake stuff may be the truest of all.

"Hitman: My Real Life in the Cartoon World of Wrestling" by Bret Hart is available now in Canada from Random House Publishing. Visit the publisher’s official webpage for the book at http://www.randomhouse.ca/catalog/display.pperl?isbn=9780307355669

* * * * *

Anthony Kingdom James is a former professional wrestler living in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. James now promotes shows under the banner of The Union of Independent Professional Wrestlers. For more information, please visit UIPW’s official website at www.wrestlersunion.ca

Brock Lesnar in UFC

2007-10-23T21:19:00.000-04:00

It was just a few months ago that Brock Lesnar had his first Mixed Martial Arts fight. On June 2, 2007, Lesnar debuted in MMA when he fought Min Soo Kim, of Korea at K-1’s Dynamite!! USA. Would Brock continue to fight, or would he lose interest and move on to something else?
We didn’t hear much after that. In fact there were a few rumors of Brock meeting with Vince McMahon about a possible return to the WWE. Quietly, I waited anxiously for the big headline to come out, to hear the big news of the contract signing, to see the man pop up on my Monday night TV screen, and witness the shot-in-the-arm return of the “Next Big Thing.”

Sadly, the waiting can now cease, as Brock Lesnar has signed with the UFC.

But although I sit here broken hearted because Brock will not be coming back to WWE, I am not disappointed in Brock’s choice. After all, Brock has been there and done that. He’s a 3-time champion and he already left once due to being unhappy there in 2004. He no longer wanted to compete in WWE and turned his interests to a career in the NFL, before eventually passing on an offer to play pro football in Europe.

When it comes right down to it, Brock is probably the only current wrestler that can make a successful and safe move to UFC.

I say “successful” because he is already a phenomenal athlete with outstanding potential. His combat background is wrestling, which is a sport with one of the highest demands for physical conditioning, and he has obviously learned the art of striking well, as his first MMA fight was stopped by the referee due to strikes. I also say “safe,” because as far as I know Brock has not had any major debilitating injuries. Sure, he had a severe concussion one time in a match against Kurt Angle, but I think anybody would get one if they botched a shooting star press off the top rope and landed on the mat face first.

The truth is, I am a casual MMA fan. I watch maybe 20 percent of the pay-per-views the UFC produces each year. I don’t keep track of the current champions and developments, but I do have the utmost respect for them as athletes. The mere fact that Brock will be fighting there will make me watch more because I respect him as an athlete.

While I don’t see Brock walking into the octagon and becoming a champion right away, I think he has the potential to be a force to be reckoned with there. In fact with the turmoil in the heavyweight division right now, he could see a rather quick title shot.

One thing is for sure, Brock is now doing what he wants to do.

Image Source: Here

Candice Michelle Falls on RAW

2007-10-23T11:22:00.000-04:00

Here is the video of Candice Michelle's vicious faceplant from the top rope last night on Raw. Word is she is out 6-8 weeks with a broken clavicle. Get well soon Candice.

Soup Du Jour: Soups Hot Come And Get It

2007-10-22T13:41:00.001-04:00

What do Irv Gotti and Ric Flair have in common? Seriously, what in the world do they have in common?

Look at this: (taken from WWE.com)

Ric Flair: Hey, Irv.

Irv Gotti: Hey, Ric.

RF: How are you, sir?

IG: What’s up, man?

RF: It seems like you’ve been busy. How’s your reality TV show, Gotti’s Way, going?

IG: It’s going good, you know. I like it. I did it, and I really like it....

Lets stop right there.

"I like it, I did it, and I really like it"...Seriously kids "DON'T DO DRUGS". It sounds like Murder Inc.'s boss has been triping way too much. As a matter of fact, why the hell am I even talking about this! Why in the world has the WWE, The leader in sports entertainment, put an ICON with a B-rate producer.

What has Irv Gotti contributed to the planet earth? Ja Rule...please. Ashanti? Now theres an amazonian woman. The second generation of rap wars. Nope he accounts for zero zilch nada zip of anything that could be thought as important.

Then again WWE what are you doing? Your main rival is just added an additional hour to its show and your booking interviews for your website with IRV Gotti. TNA is getting better by the day, and you want your fans, which might not even know who IRV gotti is, to stop and read about Gotti's Way.

Open Message to the WWE:

To whom it may concern,

Your company is in a world of shit. You put all your eggs in the Super Cena Basket and the bottom fell out. You drafted a world of talent to your Raw roster, and squandered it all in order to put over Cena and Umaga. Then when all the true talent is injured you don't even groom talent to come up. Well you could have with Dustin Rhodes... but he is just one ALabama slammer away from TNA. Meanwhile on the ECW/Smackdown branch...this is just like the WCW-ECW angle a few years back. You want them to coinside with one another. 2 Gm's, 2 Heavy weight titles, a lack of Funding and 2 crappy cable spots = disaster. I personally think that UPN was better than Sci-Fi. My old college roommate watched sci-fi. He was a Nerd...do Nerds watch wrestling? NO! They hate wrestlers, They were beat up by those guys in high school. I actually have no clue what Channel Smack down is on. Thats how bad things have gotten. You released a world of talent in the last few weeks...and it could come back and bite you in the ass. Fortunatly for you, I'm still a fan and watch this remedial excuse for story lines and angles...just because the monday night football games have been less than par this year.

Tuna Soup contributor to PROWRESTLINGPUNDIT.blogspot.com

And thats why you always leave a note!

Booker T's WWE Debut

2007-10-18T12:26:00.000-04:00

With King Booker officially released from the WWE, I figured I'd take a look back at his first match ever in the WWE. I remember thinking that Buff Bagwell would be a huge star in the WWE. He had the look and the "attitude." Well, this match got Buff Bagwell fired, but I never understood why. The reason? I never got to see this match. A very close friend of mine from high school had just returned from being gone for a month. I asked her to be my girlfriend on this night and she said yes. I can recall making out with her on the couch in the basement of her aunt's house and sneaking glimpses at the television as WCW and Booker T made their WWE debuts...

Some interesting side notes:
Scott Hudson and Arn Anderson are the commentary team
Stacy Keibler is the ring announcer
Anderson calls this the most historic night of wrestling ever
Anderson calls Booker T the greatest WCW champion of all time
Hudson calls the WCW title the WWF title
Booker T calls this his worst match EVER!!!

Transaction Reaction

2007-10-17T10:31:00.000-04:00

Professional wrestling is in such a strange place right now. WWE spent the first half of the year convincing Raw fans that John Cena and Bobby Lashley are where it's at. Now, neither are on television.

It's interesting to me that in the aftermath of the WWE banning certain piledrivers, powerbombs, and other high-risk maneuvers that we have seen more injuries to main event caliber wrestlers at one time than I can ever remember before. Add The Undertaker, Edge, Shawn Michaels, Triple H, Ken Kennedy, King Booker, and Rey Mysterio to the list of top-level guys who have spent time on the shelf this year. Can we begin to assume that those moves weren't the problem?

With rumors of Chris Jericho's return whirling around the internet, some fans may have missed some noteworthy transactions that happened this week.

Fans eager to see the new Hart Foundation debut on Smackdown were certainly disappointed to find that Teddy Hart had been released. I am surprised that the group made it that far. It is well known that Hart has an attitude problem. Now many fans are wondering where this leaves Harry Smith, Nattie Neidhardt, TJ Wilson and Ted Dibiase Jr. Smith has a tremendous upside, and it's almost unbelievable that WWE couldn't find something for him in the aftermath of Hart's release.

In what I would consider lesser developmental news, Robert Gibson was released from his position as a trainer in OVW. Gibson is best remembered as the ugly member of the Rock N' Roll Express. I personally have always found this team to be incredibly overrated. Don't get me wrong, it's a decent enough gimmick and both guys can work. There is just something that never clicked with me when watching Morton and Gibson. With TNA using teams like the Steiner Brothers, there may be a new way to fly for this duo. It's highly doubtful, however.

While Hart and Gibson were being fired, Ryan O'Reilly and Krissy Vaine decided to quit. Many are scrutinizing the decision of these two young lovers to forgo their WWE contracts. Deny thy McMahon and refuse thy brand, they will no longer be WWE superstars. Does true love trump the greatest opportunity of their professional careers? Sure. If it really were true love, would they have made it through? Undoubtedly. WWE love and WWE contracts seem to be lasting about the same length of time these days. If I were these two, I would have sucked it up. Oh well…

Then at the eleventh hour, WWE announces the releases of Daivari, King Booker, and Queen Sharmell. Now it is no secret that Booker T has long been one of my favorite wrestlers. It's hard to mourn for him however, because there was simply no place for him on the Raw brand. I'd rather see him leave on his terms than be misused for another number of years. The biggest shame is that Booker has been teasing retirement for years now, and he will never get his proper sendoff. Well, I guess that in wrestling I should never say never.

Somewhere in the midst of all these releases, TNA put on their biggest show of the year. Former WWE tag team champion Joey Matthews debuted before the show, and I can only hope that King Booker will follow in his footsteps.

I haven't seen the show, but I've heard nothing but good things. TNA's webpage was down for days in the show's aftermath.

I haven't talked much on TNA lately other than to say that I thought their 2 hour debut was miserable. I stand by that. However, I will say Total Nonstop Action has a lot to be excited about.

First off, LAX is one of the most badass tag teams I have seen in a long time. I loved their run as heels with Konnan as their mouthpiece, and I think they can be just as exciting as faces as long as they aren't tampered with too much. When the tag belts are back on the waists of these guys, a lot will be right in the world of TNA.

For those who are familiar with me, it is no secret that my favorite wrestler of all time is Randy "Macho Man" Savage. Those who would expect me to dislike Jay Lethal's Black Machismo character are dead wrong. It's amazing. The thing that makes Jay so likable is his attention to detail and commitment to the character. TNA made the right decision keeping him the X division champion. He adds a great deal of flare.

Sting winning the TNA World Heavyweight title was certainly the right decision. It set this show apart from your regular monthly TNA PPV and refreshed the whole product. I can only hope that his long awaited feud with Christopher Daniels can come to fruition and be done correctly, but I know better than to hold my breath and wait for that.

TNA has so much talent that I genuinely care about doing things I couldn't care less about. I would love to see the TNA creative team figure out what to do with AJ Styles, Ron Killings, Robert Roode, and Christopher Daniels to really make some money. Hell, I am really digging the whole Steiner's reunion. Is it being done to the fullest? I guess that is arguable.

One thing TNA seems to be doing better than anyone right now is promoting Women's wrestling. That's saying something considering that they have been doing it for only about a week. I watched that Women's gauntlet on Youtube, and I really appreciated the character development and most of the booking decisions. My only real gripe is with the treatment of Traci Brooks. She should be TNA's bread and butter. Maybe I only say that because I am in love with her.

One of the biggest news pieces out of Bound for Glory was that Kurt Angle tried a 450 splash. If at first you don't succeed, do yourself a favor and don't try again Kurt. It was a step above Brock Lesnar's shooting star press, but if I were Kurt I'd stick with the moonsault. Can't fault a guy for trying though.

Last week, I suggested that WWE fans push for Mr. Kennedy for Cyber Sunday. In reality, I was asking for anyone other than HBK. Do I have something against Shawn? Not really. I just want to see some other guys get a chance to shine. It's like knowing Chris Daughtry is going to get a record deal and voting for Taylor Hicks instead. Well, needless to say, I got some feedback.

David Missio decided that he would love to tear me a whole new one…

First of all, I agree with your point on the big gold belt. The bling belt makes no sense around Orton's (or HHH 's or Michaels' or Jericho's) waist and it would be nice to see a reversion to the more
standard, "classic" belt of the past.

In regards to your stance on the Cyber Sunday vote (Kennedy vs Michaels), I have to say that you're completely off base and quite foolish at that. Quite simply, Michaels versus Orton is the better match, and fans should be voting for the match they want to see, not some "send a message" bullshit that you seem to think would have an effect on long term booking. This is akin to all of those morons who claim that they'll never watch wrestling again each time WWE does something they disagree with to "send a message" to Vince and Co. Stop worrying about any semblance of active involvement you have, stop
worrying about sending a message to top brass, and stop worrying about trying to force a minority opinion. The bottom line is that Randy v Shawn makes sense, will be good and deserves to be voted for... besides which, from a storyline perspective, Kennedy and Orton might put on a good to very good match but there would be very little heat to it, unlike the Michaels/Orton bout. Have some perspective and take off your IWC blinders now and then.

Travis Bucklaschuk sent the following perspective:

After reading your column I have to disagree with voting for Kennedy. I really feel he has no right to be in the title picture due to just being back from suspension. Why should we vote for a guy who has damaged the credibility (what it had left) of the company he worked for? I don't particularly care about his wellness violation, but to go on air and run your mouth about how you don't touch any illegal substances, and then to get caught. I feel be needs to stay away from the Main-Event scene really.

Now as for voting in someone younger, I'm all for voting in Jeff Hardy. Sure he has violated the wellness policy, but the guy has never made the WWE look bad like Kennedy did, and it would be quite the throwback to old when the Intercontinental Title meant you had the right for a World Title shot. So really, I'd vote for him over Kennedy and Michaels. After all from the reaction of the crowd, this guy is almost as over as Michaels and Hunter, if not just as over. Wouldn't that be something worth cashing in on?

On a bit of a humorous note, Randy Orton had quite the first WWE title reign didn't he? What was it, five-to-ten minutes long? Well at least he can claim himself as a 3-Time World Champion.

One of my favorite personalities "The Wolf" gave me some more feedback as well

I totally agree with you that a belt change is in order. Vince says that he doesn't want to go the personalization route again even threatening or actually (It's Khali vs Batista forgive me for not paying too much attention to the SD title!) taking away the name plate from the old WCW title was a genus move (has anyone ever thought about that? Maybe Vince is ashamed of Khali even holding the belt. (But then again, Vince has no issue showing off his 60 year old ass on the highest rated basic cable show in the land, so why would he be ashamed of his World Champ? Oh yeah Khali!) Like Vince can't afford to change the title a little bit to match the character? He gave one to Edge (for a couple of days before he jobbed to Cena AGAIN!)

And how about the choices for the WWE Championship match? we've got the choice of a Jesus Freak near retirement (nothing wrong with that, but I don't think that the key demographic of teenage boys really wants to be preached at) and two druggies to choose from. I think it's telling of exactly how tough the 'E is going to be on the abusers when they give a guy whose (ALEGEDLY!!!) already been fired for a Wellness related issue TWICE (well, the first time was before the plan existed, but he was still fired for being a DRUG FUELED FREAK!). Also, the man whose either really got bad luck or is the dumbest man on the planet gets to see if he can take a run for the gold. This gets my brain working. Vince has been trying to push Echo man, since he first dropped his mic (hey now this is a family show!!) and now he's got the chance to prove that he's over by setting up what looks to be an obviously rigged "cyber poll" (god I just felt dirty typing the term "Cyber Poll" i think i need to shower! Wait, I thought Fienstien ran ROH?) So I see things this way: VINCE WANTS YOU TO VOTE KENNEDY.....Kennedy. Does anyone really think that Jeff's really going to get many votes going up against the Born Again former champion and the Golden McMahon (Uh, I mean the one who was supposed to before he opened up a box full of sterriods!) who Vince has a hard on for? (Wait, are you sure that Kennedy's NOT Vince's son? He did want to run an angle saying his granddaughter was his daughter!)

But all (or most) sarcasm aside, I'm actually a fan of Mrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.... Kennedy...............................Kennedy (Even if i can prove that the whole gimmick was STOLEN from me when I was in an E-Fed!!) and I'd love to see him get a title shot. I'm actually thinking that out of the three choices he's the most likely to walk out of Cyber Sunday as the champ. But then again, I want to run a fed where one of my big storylines revolves around Zach Gowin being able to beat The Big Show, so who knows if I'm right about ANYTHING! Keep up the good work and I'll bombard you with sarcasm again!

How Sweet is This?

2007-10-10T11:12:00.001-04:00

Vote for MISTTTTTTTEEEEEERRRR KENNEDY...

2007-10-09T13:06:00.000-04:00

Kennedy!

The main event for Cyber Sunday was announced on WWE.com today, and rather than a Randy Orton showdown with either Triple H or HBK with fans picking the stipulations, they can now choose Orton's opponent between Shawn Michaels, Jeff Hardy, and Ken Kennedy. After last night's Raw, fans should vote for Kennedy, and here is why...

John Cena's injury sure has shaken things up a little bit. Does anyone else think that the current title belt should go back on the shelf for a while? The belt Orton currently holds is in the style of the John Cena spinner belt, but alas it does not spin. Still, it looks like a fly peice of bling bling. Cena himself hasn't done the rap stuff for years. Why should Orton not revert back to the "undisputed" style WWE title? I personally would love to see the winged eagle belt return.

Speaking of belts and birds, how about Beth Phoenix. Without doubt she is something to get excited about. PWP writer Daron Smythe has defeated Beth Phoenix via pinfall, and I've heard that he is arguing that he is next in line for a shot at the Glamazon. Good luck with that buddy. Either way, they are working her gimmick to perfection, and finally there is some good women's wrestling back on Raw. I thought when Trish left and Victoria switched brands that we may never see that again. Stupid ass Diva search...

To the Diva search's credit, I actually do enjoy Maria and Candice. While neither of them won that competition, they are products of it. That makes it about as lucrative as Tough Enough, who's pride and joy is former ECW champion John Morrison.

I would say that right now it appears that in order of in ring ability, Victoria remains tops. Right behind her are Mickie James, Beth Phoenix, and Melina. The next level includes your Jillian Hall's and Candice Michelle's, and at the bottom are Maria, Torrie Wilson, and some other nameless worthless bimbos.

Santino Marella continues to benefit from the upswing of not actually ever wrestling a match. His mic work has been histerical for weeks now. Too bad that after Val Venis won an internet poll stating that fans would rather see him as the World Champion than anyone else on the roster, he is doing job duty yet again.

Still, it was nice to see him receive face time rather than ubershitty wrestling personality Hardcore Holly. What type of world is it where the WWE brass see more value in Holly than Venis? Holly has a stupid face, buckteeth, a dumb redneck accent, nothing interesting to say, and is perhaps the most boring wrestler WWE has had in the past 10 years.

He makes Snitsky look like The Rock by comparison. Oh, that's right. Snitsky returned to Raw last night to face Val Venis. Daron Smythe has also wrestled Snitsky, but I am not sure of the result. I wonder if Snitsky had as much bacne then. It's horrible now, which makes me wonder if he stopped taking whatever he was taking when he got his wellness suspension in the first place. Those white lights during his entrance served to make this dude look extra ugly. Still, they are working his ugliness to perfection. Even his in ring work is ugly, but in a way that works for him.

The Bushwhackers 2.0 actually wrestled on Raw last night which makes a few dudes who saw them on the Ontario indy scene happy. Cousin Robbie and Cousin Rory whoa'd and yay'd their way down to the ring with arms swinging for their contest with London and Kendrick. They even stopped to lick a face along the way. Gross...

Anyways, some smart mark buttholes are begging that WWE takes the "handcuffs" off these two and let them show the world what they can do. I'd argue that just about every single wrestler on the WWE roster has the ability to compete at a higher level than they do on a weekly basis on Raw, but WWE has handcuffs on pretty much everyone.

Now what pisses me off is, these are the same people screaming about how terrible John Cena is. How many freaking t-shirts are the Highlanders ever going to sell? I'll tell you, 3000, because that's how many dudes that like wrestling are named Robbie, and will by a shirt that reads: "I'm Robbie!" It's just assinine to me to give these dudes a free pass, but come down on John Cena every week for two plus years.

Now to the beginnings of the WWE title picture. If you are living behind one of Umaga's ass cheeks or all three of Big Daddy V's breasts, you may have missed that that Randy Orton was awarded the WWE title at No Mercy, Triple H defeated him for it, Triple H defended it against Umaga, and then Triple H lost it back to Orton.

Now, many voted Randy Orton the wrestler of the week for the accomplishment of being the last man standing. I would argue that Triple H defeating Umaga and Orton before losing to Orton is a far more impressive feat. Still, I hate Triple H and everything he stands for.

On Raw, he squared off in a handicapped match against both Orton and Umaga. Finally, under the circumstances that he had wrestled three times the night before and was taking on Raw's two biggest heels, Triple H took a freaking beat down. Umaga got a measure of revenge on Triple H for his heelish and unwarranted sledgehammer attacks from months back. All the while Jim Ross screamed at how unecesseary it was for Umaga to rip Triple H apart with his bare hands. Funny how months ago, he popped a raging bbq sauce boner for Triple H beating the shit out of Umaga with a deadly weapon.

Triple H refused medical attention to walk to the back, because he is so bad ass. Remember, this is the dude that got dropped from a car by a crane and wrestled the next week. Last year, Vince McMahon bludgeoned him with a lead pipe, and while Shawn Michaels lay on the mat out cold, Triple H crawled around and attempted to get back up. The dude is a cyborg.

Anyway, the good thing to come out of the whole beatdown was that Triple H got taken out of the WWE title picture. Who got put in in his place? Skinner. Yes that's right folks, Steve Keirn returned to Raw, and apparantely he has kicked that awful tobacco habit. Wait.. Wha? That was Shawn Michaels? No way...

Ok, apparantely Shawn Michaels returned and not Skinner. Wow, totally fooled me. Anyways, now Michaels, Kennedy, and Jeff Hardy will be contending for our votes to face Orton for John Cena's title (I will refer to it as such until the belt design changes).

Now Kennedy has done relatively nothing good since he got on Raw, which has basically killed all his momentum. He jobbed to Super Crazy, was supposed to have killed Mr. McMahon kayfabe until Chris Benoit killed his family shoot, took a wellness suspension that stopped him from being Mr. Kennedy McMahon which I maintain was a blessing rather than a curse, and now he is losing in non-title matches to the guy with the gayest nickname in wrestlng history.

Somehow this has put him in line for a World title shot. Well, we Ken Kennedy fans will take it, because it's about time we had something to be excited about. The best part, the vote is in our hands. Now, I know Shawn Michaels just came back and we are excited to see him dance around and do his JESUS YEAH! entrance pose, but we KNOW that Shawn Michaels will be in the World Title picture and get his match with Orton. Why not make a statement by voting for Ken Kennedy? Of course, this assuming that all of Cyber Sunday isn't a worked fan vote anyway, which it most likely is.

The Triple H/Umaga match logically will get the fans choose the stipulation vote, as it is the only feud on the Raw brand right now with the steam to warrant it. Quite frankly, no one has enough heat to be with Orton in the Cell, no matter how good the match could be.

If you don't live in Mexico and you buy Lilian Garcia's album, may God have mercy on your soul. Go buy Macho Man's album "Be a Man" instead. At least it has long term comedic value.

If you don't vote for Kennedy for Cyber Sunday, I just don't understand. I have been trying to rally you for weeks. It's time to push the new faces of the WWE. Every single time we refuse to let go of the old, we end up in the same old funk. The business does not have to be cyclical. We could vote for Shawn Michaels and he can retire next year, or we can vote for Mr. Kennedy and build towards our future.

If you don't vote for Mr. Kennedy, you are as stupid as TNA for being in talks with malignant locker room cancer Kid Kash. I mean seriously, the guy has no draw value. If you are going to sign a trouble maker, at least sign a guy like Sid, Scott Hall, or try again with the Macho Man. At least there will be some return for your headaches.

Oh, and by the way TNA, your 2 hour Impact premier was terrible to watch, and I hate you for it, because you made one of my best writers, Chris Scott uninterested in coming to work.

Beth Phoenix – Bringing Legitimacy to Women’s Wrestling

2007-10-07T13:17:00.000-04:00

My idea of an entertaining wrestling match is a well-called bout based on a decent storyline with two or more athletically inclined individuals who have spent the time in the gym with the iron to maintain a healthy physique, featuring athleticism to move explosively, gracefully, and powerfully. It does not matter to me if they are men or women as long as I am engaged by physicality (maneuvers, bumps, and mobility) of the bout and the drama of the storyline.

However, for decades, I have thought that Women’s Wrestling in the WWE was lacking in these qualities, often changing the channel or taking a bathroom break when the Women’s matches came on Raw. After all, the WWE Women’s wrestlers have been marketed as little more than eye candy, historically.

What comes to mind as examples of this eye candy filler featured on the weekly programming?

Melina may be in excellent shape, but if I see her enter the ring with the full split under the bottom rope one more time, I’m going to vomit.

Candice Michelle may be shifting to a more athletic style now that she holds the belt, but I am having trouble forgetting all of her dancing in a circle like a stripper for the first year she was in WWE. My memory’s already too tainted.

These women are not the kind of stars I look forward to seeing on a WWE broadcast. I do not want to see fitness models. I can get that on ESPN2 a couple times a year and be happy. I do not want to see soft core porn. I can get that on Showtime.

Sure, Trish Stratus, at the end of her career, was very athletic, but her credibility was lost early on when she had the make-out sessions with Vince McMahon. Her televised matches were meant more to draw ratings from the 35 to 40-year olds who weren’t getting laid than to feature an athletic wrestling encounter.

Lita was an excellent wrestler, of course. Her time spent in Mexico and the Indy’s made her an outstanding wrestler. It’s too bad her career was shortened by her injuries, relationship problems, and that ridiculous boob job she got before she retired. In the end, a marred legacy.

Certainly, Chyna was a phenomenal athlete, combining plenty of gymnastic-style acrobatics along with her power. I will recognize that there have certainly been a handful of good female athletes in the WWE Women’s Ranks. But all three of these women I just mentioned are out of the business, now. The crop of truly athletic female wrestlers is all but dried up on our TV sets.

Until Now. Enter Beth Phoenix.

Beth Phoenix, whose real name is Elizabeth Carolan née Kocanski, grew up less than an hour from where I grew up. She’s from Elmira, New York. As a teenager, I had to drive past that town on the way to get to the nearest mall.

What the community of wrestling fans may not realize is that Beth Pheonix is truly an accomplished wrestler. She’s not just 5 minutes of eye candy like Maria Kanellis. Beth Phoenix is a true athlete. In fact, as the Iron Sheik would say, Beth phoenix is a shooter.

According to her wiki, she was the first female member of the Notre Dame High School varsity wrestling team. Her legitimate wrestling experience does not stop there. She went on to become the North-East freestyle women's champion (72 kg weight class) in 1999. She was the 1999 women's champion (72 kg weight class) at the New York State Fair Tournament and was named the most outstanding wrestler that same year in the Brockport Freestyle Tournament.

Beth Phoenix dreamed of becoming a wrestler, and she belongs inside the ring.

Her resume makes her one of the most qualified members of the entire WWE roster.

I am a strength and conditioning coach, and I can honestly say that amateur wrestling is one of the most physically intense sports, requiring some of the highest levels of conditioning in order to excel. As a practitioner of many different styles of strength training and conditioning protocols, I respect any wrestler who has risen to be champion at any level.

My hat is off to Beth Phoenix and I wish her the best with her career. I hope this article increases the awareness of just how impressive Beth Phoenix’ athletic background is.

Image sources:
Walking to Ring
Wrestling Team

-Napalm Jedd-

Vote For Val - Click Here!

2007-10-04T21:02:00.000-04:00

Currently on WWE.com, they are running a poll asking who should be the next WWE champion. Val Venis is dominating the whole Raw roster with 46 percent of the vote. Apparantely everyone else sees the undeniable talent in the ring and on the mic, and want to see this guy do more. Click the link to see the results as they were at 9:00 on Thursday night. Then click the Vote for Val link at the top and support Venis!

Brian Kendrick 0.13 %
Carlito 0.69 %
Charlie Haas 0.05 %
Cody Rhodes 0.23 %
Daivari 0.79 %
Hacksaw Jim Duggan 0.13 %
Hardcore Holly 0.11 %
Jeff Hardy 3.26 %
King Booker 0.33 %
Lance Cade 0.02 %
Mr. Kennedy 7.26 %
Paul London 0.73 %
Randy Orton 1.94 %
Robbie McAllister 0.02 %
Ron Simmons 0.66 %
Rory McAllister 0.04 %
Santino Marella 0.18 %
Shelton Benjamin 0.58 %
Snitsky 13.76 %
Super Crazy 0.09 %
Trevor Murdoch 5.69 %
Triple H 16.36 %
Umaga 0.28 %
Val Venis 46.52 %

The Cyclical Wrestling Business

2007-10-04T12:20:00.000-04:00

So two weeks ago I asked what it is that even makes a superstar? One week ago I talked about professionally wrestling's surprisingly deep free agent market. I got some great responses on a free agent roster that I will share a bit later, but first I want to talk about the cyclical nature of wrestling, because it's an argument that I have heard 1000 times that I am just not buying.

Months ago, Linda McMahon stated that professional wrestling was about to reach another boom period. So what creates these cycles?

Well, the first is simply talent. In the 1980's, Vince McMahon purchased the best superstars from every territory to create his national brand. The chance to see the best of the best from around the world together in something other than a Pro Wrestling Illustrated magazine was undoubtedly exciting, and Vince was printing money.

However, Vince seemed to forget something very important along the way. His business is with human beings. Human beings grow older. Human beings have wants and needs. Pretty soon the early nineties appeared, and many of those from the Rock N' Wrestling Generation had retired. Ted Turner purchased those remaining, much the way they were purchased by Vince a decade earlier.

In the meantime, Vince hadn't created any new stars. He had latched his wagon onto workhorses like Hulk Hogan and let them take him as far as they could pull. So when Hogan was gone, Vince had to turn to Bret Hart and Lex Luger to pull the weight. The results were less than thrilling.

In time, Razor Ramon, Diesel, and Shawn Michaels separated themselves from the pack as special talents. Ramon and Diesel were then lured away by the almighty dollar as well, but luckily for Vince, he had recently acquired the underappreciated former WCW talent Steve Austin, and there was a third generation superstar on the horizon.

Initially Vince stuck with his tired formula. The third generation superstar was called Rocky Miavia, and pushed down the throats of fans as an undeniable babyface. Austin was given the gimmick of the Ringmaster and the Million Dollar Belt to boot. Nothing was going to change ratings until Vince McMahon changed his philosophy.

A rumbling was taking place that would shake the core of professional wrestling. Paul Heyman took a group of WWE and WCW rejects, matched them up with guys no one had ever heard of, and created one of the most exciting products in wrestling history. When the cult following started to become a mainstream fanfare, Vince had the answer.

WWE Attitude took the audience back from WCW and created the second significant wrestling boom of the past 30 years. Much like when Vince McMahon had put all his eggs into Hogan's basket in the 80's, he was going to milk Attitude for all it was worth as the late nineties rolled into the new millennium.

If the Attitude Era were a large plentiful orange in 1997, WWE was still squeezing the hell out of it in 2006 in order to quench the fans thirst. Then one day, Vince woke up and looked at the talent around him. Steve Austin had retired. The Rock had left to go do movies. Mick Foley was not going to be flying off any cages. Instead a new crop of talent surrounded him. Bobby Lashley, Ken Kennedy, Umaga…

Vince decided the first thing to do was release Scotty 2 Hotty. After all, nothing screamed hanging on to 1997 like this guy still doing the Too Cool dance and the worm ten years later.

It was time to shake off a half decade of bad investments. Since the WWF became the WWE, Vince and company have put a great deal of time and money into guys that simply didn't pan out. The emergence of the NWO in the WWE didn't work because of injuries to Kevin Nash and the conduct of Scott Hall. Hulkamania was reignited, but only long enough to give him some big wins over guys like Triple H, Shawn Michaels, and Randy Orton, only to see him disappear again with no real benefit to the company.

For a full year Vince pushed Brock Lesnar on Smackdown and Goldberg on Raw. By the time their dream match was scheduled at Wrestlemania, both had decided that they were done with the WWE, and a retired Steve Austin got the rub from stunning them both on their departure.

WWE chose to let go of the Dudley Boyz. While their routine was admittedly tired, shouldn't they have put someone over on their way out for the future viability of the tag division? What about Christian and Chris Jericho? These guys were in the title picture at Summerslam and then gone before the Royal Rumble.

One can't miss prospect that WWE was looking to was Muhammed Hassan. After the time they put into making Hassan a true contender, he was drafted to Smackdown and then had to be removed from TV for a controversial angle.

It wasn't just the men's department where WWE was hurting. In a short period they lost three of their most established divas as well when Stacy Keibler, Trish Stratus, and Lita all said goodbye.

Just last year The Big Show quit after a lengthy run as ECW champion and a main event program with Degeneration X.

All of these releases as individual instances are not a big deal. All of them together, however, are pretty significant. Figure into that the deaths of Owen Hart and Eddie Guerrero, and you have a recipe for disaster.

It's actually quite impressive that WWE is doing as well as they are right now. With Triple H, Shawn Michaels, and the Undertaker as the corporate backbone, WWE was able to develop John Cena, Batista, Randy Orton, and more into this new crop of superstars.

However, just when things were looking up, Triple H, Shawn Michaels, and the Undertaker go down to injuries. Following suit are Rey Mysterio, King Booker, and Ken Kennedy. Rob Van Dam leaves the company. Chris Benoit kills himself. Edge gets hurt. Bobby Lashley gets hurt. Then after Triple H, Mysterio, and the Undertaker come back, 10-12 superstars get Wellness-related suspensions. When those guys on the Wellness suspensions return, John Cena tears his pectoral muscle.

So John Cena is injured and smarks around the world are rejoicing as if the war in Iraq were finally over. I for one don't see the upside.

Say what you will about John Cena, and wrestling sites have about said it all ad nauseam, but John Cena has proven to be something special. His name on the marquee draws crowds, his image on cotton sells t-shirts, his persona both live and on television stays over, and his programs with Edge, Randy Orton, Triple H, Umaga, and others make for damn good wrestling television.

So what do people have to say about the heir-apparent to the WWE throne? He's no Hulk Hogan. He's no Steve Austin. He's no Rock. You know what? That's completely true.

Hulk Hogan, Steve Austin, and The Rock are arguably the three biggest stars in the history of professional wrestling. John Cena has commonalities with all three men, but he certainly is not able to fill their shoes.

Like the Rock, Cena came into the WWE as a bluechipper. Fans didn't accept his babyface character, and he was quickly pushed into being a heel and developed his own personality. Like Steve Austin, John Cena became an ass-kicking anti hero, as his foul mouth and controversial actions only endeared him more to the WWE crowd. Like Hulk Hogan, he captured the imagination of children everywhere and became an almost unstoppable force.

What the Rock, Steve Austin, and Hulk Hogan had going for them is that they were allowed to be themselves with the volume turned way up. What John Cena has working against him is that he is expected to be some type of amalgamation of those who came before him.

When Randy Orton was kicked out of Evolution shortly after winning the WWE title, he suffered a similar fate. For months, Orton had developed his cocky legend killer character to the point that fans began to like it. When the time came to pull the trigger on Orton's inevitable babyface run, they placed him on the stage and gave him a Rock-esque promo to cut. It didn't work. Why? Well for starters, Randy Orton is not the Rock. He is Randy Orton.

When The Rock finally turned babyface, he did not magically turn into a new generation Hulk Hogan. He stayed true to who he was, and the fans ate that up. This was the character that fans had grown to love. No one wanted to hear The Rock telling us to train, say our prayers, and eat our vitamins.

The more over John Cena's rap character became, the more he got pushed in a direction where he had to fit a mold that was created before him. Cena has since abandoned the throwback jerseys, locks, and chains that brought him to the dance and has adopted the persona of being "The Marine," a role that was initially intended for Steve Austin.

When given mic time, Cena is rarely ever the brash arrogant kid we grew to love. He is often simply too goofy to be taken seriously. It's strange how the Rock can call Umaga a shriveled up monkey penis and it works, but when John Cena calls the Big Show poopy pants it doesn't. It's the same type of sophomoric humor, but it just rolls off The Rock's tongue more naturally.

Then again, I was 14 when I loved hearing the Rock say those things. I am now 24, and I would hope my sense of humor has evolved. Still, when the Rock makes his occasional appearance, I expect this from him and welcome it. When I see John Cena, I would prefer not to see a subpar rehash of places I have already been.

John Cena has had some fantastic matches in his career. Of course Kurt Angle, Chris Benoit, Edge, and Shawn Michaels had the ability to make anyone look like a million bucks, but Cena's recent Summerslam effort against Randy Orton should also serve to silence a lot of critics.

Cena's reputation as a hard worker is well documented. Often I think the criticism he gets for no-selling moves and having a tired predicatable offense is unwarranted, because I believe this is what he is instructed to do by the WWE higher-ups. If Vince McMahon wanted Cena to deliver a consistently better and more diverse in-ring product, I am sure he could step to the plate.

Case and Point: John Cena's injury is not a positive for professional wrestling. It is very much a negative. What Linda McMahon predicted to be a "boom" period for professional wrestling has become a period where the product is really suffering. Those who have enjoyed the most success due to circumstance thus far? The Great Khali and Hornswaggle. There is something wrong with that picture.

Every move that WWE makes right now is critical. Every signing, every release and every push is essential to sustaining the momentum the company had been building over the past year. Every booking, every storyline and every angle needs to be carefully constructed to maintain the relationships with fans who have tuned in over the past seven years to see people who may or may not be on their televisions due to a number of circumstances.

So in this sensitive time period that requires a great deal of focus, what is the WWE doing? A Teddy Long Viagra-induced heart attack and a Hornswaggle/Melina love story. These are two angles that take TV time, and don't build anyone with the ability to draw a dime or even result in a match.

They are building Santino Marella into one of the most interesting superstars on Raw. The problem? On the way there, they are going to further devalue their most underrated talent in Val Venis. Venis has the look, the charisma, and the in-ring ability, yet he is saddled with eternal job duty. What is Marella's ultimate destiny after getting the rub from Val? That's quite simple. He will receive kick-wham-stunner from an inactive Steve Austin. How does this elevate a new superstar? It doesn't.

Triple H gets to destroy Umaga, Carlito, Cade, and Murdoch. Who's next? Well most likely with Cena getting hurt, Orton will be thrown into this match at the pay-per-view and it will be made for the vacant WWE title. It is likely good ole' Trips will bury Orton too on the way to another long meaningless title run, and heck, while he has the belt, let him destroy Ken Kennedy too. What's the point of having something new to look forward to? Right WWE?

Speaking of something new to look forward to, how about Cody Rhodes. Oh yeah, that's right. He is jobbing to Bob Holly. The fans have never accepted Holly as more than a weak midcarder, so Rhodes losing to him on a weekly basis is especially damaging. You think Cody would get a better deal because of his daddy. I guess this is supposed to end with Rhodes earning Holly's respect. Whoopdee shit. I'd rather see Rhodes spit in his face and ask him why in the 15 years he's been in the WWE he hasn't had any real success. Then ask him why he's still going around calling himself Hardcore. In the last WWE Smackdown vs. Raw game, Lawler exclaims, "1998 called, they want their word back." Amen.

Even when Brock Lesnar legit injured Bob Holly, his return to get revenge garnered him no fan support. I am happy Holly beat his terrible staph infection, but that doesn't make him any less boring. Bob Holly never was a star and never will be one. I wish that WWE would wish him the best on his future endeavors, or throw him back on ECW where nothing matters anyways.

If those viral marketing promos are actually for Chris Jericho and not for the new and improved WWE.com featuring old school pics of Dusty Rhodes' valet Sweet Sapphire, wrestling fans around the world need to realize something. I said last week that no one man is going to save the WWE. I take that back. There actually is one guy that has that power. His name is Vince McMahon.

It is up to Vince McMahon and the WWE creative team to build intriguing storylines that make sense, attract viewers, and lead to an even bigger payoff. Until they get that process down, even a returning Chris Jericho is likely to be nothing to get excited about. In fact, he's just another guy for Triple H to run over while we all wait patiently for wrestling's next big boom period.

Chris O offered up his 30 man roster alternative to the WWE

World Championship Division
Sabu
CW Anderson
Rob Van Dam
The Sandman
Steve Corino
Bryan Danielson
Brent Albright
Marcus Cor Von
The Human Tornado

Lightweight Championship Division
Too Cold Scorpio
Austin Starr
Sean Waltman
Jushin Liger
Mistico
TAKA Michinoku
Ultimo Dragon
Matt Bentley
Jack Evans

Tag Team Championship Division
Kings of Wrestling: Chris Hero and Claudio Castagnoli
Jay Briscoe and Mark Briscoe
Joey Mercury and Christian York
The Mexicools: Psicosis and Juventud Guerrera
The Naturals: Chase Stevens and Andy Douglas
Cryme Tyme: JTG and Shad

My fed's roster kinda resembles the original ECW. In the World Title Division there are Originals such as Sabu, Sandman, and RVD. I have guys with technical prowess such as Danielson and Albright. I have a monster in Cor Von, and have Anderson and Tornado in there as heavyweight jobbers. My lightweights are stacked and should provide exciting matches like lightweights in the old ECW. My tag team division is a mix of indy teams like the Kings of Wrestling and the Briscoes, and ex-WWE or TNA teams like Cryme Tyme and the Naturals. If Heyman booked for this fed, it would be able to create a cult following. While it probably wouldn't compete with WWE, it can still be popular on a national stage.

Stephen Straka also gave his 30 man roster
A roster of 30 based on the free agents? Hoo boy.

The first thing I'm gonna do is divide the 30 into groups. 10 slots will be set aside for 5 established tag teams. 6 slots will be for the "devlopers", the type of guys you see winning tons on Heat but jobbing almost everywhere else. Hacksaw and Val Venis for example. Their primary role is to both test the incoming rookies and take under their wings the signed contract that still need some freshening up on the B-show. 1 of the tag team slots will be for this purpose as well. 7 slots will be for the upper-card wrestlers while 7 will be for an X-division.

Tag teams:
- La Resistence; I personally liked their gimmick and they're able to draw heat better than a lot of heels.
- Briscoe Bros.; duh. The only proviso is that they dress up as Mario and Luigi during Halloween episodes. Why? Why not?
- Cryme Tyme; sadly, I never got to see them in any matches aside from squashes but their skits are good for comedy value. Probably most liekly to be the B-show team but again, I haven't seen enough of them to tell.
- Basham Bros.; whatever you're gonna call them, they can be great in the ring if you let them be. Unfortunately, they were used as enforcers, which is never good for your in-ring work.
- Gymini is your "big" team.

Developers:
- Scotty! Even though he's at the tail end of his career, the fans still love the worm and I can see him tearing up the B-show in my promotion.
- Ace Steel; again, getting along in years but still more than capable of main-eventing the B-show. He can also double as a trainer/manager for someone who has a boxing/MMA gimmick given his training ofthe Second City Saints.
- Eugene; it's sad that he never got a chance outside the retard gimmick. I'd probably let him go back to being Mr. Wrestling and make him the heel developer.
-

X-Division:
- Essa Rios!
- TAKA Michinoku!
- Human Tornado!
- Ultimo Dragon!
- Jushin "Thuder" Liger!
- Yuji Nagata!
- Zach Gowen!
In case you haven't figured it out, this will probably be the equivilent of WCW's cruiserweight scene. Lower in the card and don't expect much for English promos but damn if the matches aren't gonna be exciting! Human Tornado gets to be Ken Masters for Halloween. SHOOOORYUKEN!

Upper card:
- Bryan Danielson; DUH
- RVD; ALSO DUH. Robbie V can also do double-duty in the X-division if there's injury or he's not doing anything.
- Mistico; can also slide into the X-division if neccessary
- Big Show and
- Giant Bernard are your monster heels. They can also do double-duty as a monster heel tag team if neccessary.
- Sylvester Terkay; is most likely to have Ace Steel as his trainer/manager
- Brent Albright and
- Monty Brown to round things out

Ideally my promotion would have a Raw/Heat deal with the A and B-shows. The A-show would be two ohurs long so as to give everyone enough exposure.

Karl Belanger checked in with this note on Pierre-Carl Ouellet
Just a quick note on Pierre-Carl Ouellet. He is now a color commentator for the TNA shows on RDS (Quebec's equivalent to ESPN or TSN). He's actually not too bad and way more tolereable than Lawler.

Last week, to my surprise, there was actually a 3 way match shown with him, Christopher Daniels and AJ Styles on the TNA broadcast that took place in Ottawa (not shown on TNA's regular boradcast obviously). He still looks great despite his age and can still work a crowd quite well. I always really liked him in the Quebecers and was always amazed at how well he could move for a big man. WWE wants their version of Samoa Joe? He'd be the perfect guy (much more so than Umaga I feel).

Hornswoggle: The Luckiest Little Bastard In WWE

2007-10-01T19:59:00.000-04:00

Life is good for the Artist Formerly Known as Little Bastard. Not since Little Beaver getting flattened like a pancake by King Kong Bundy at Wrestlemania 3 has a midget gotten this well of a push in the WWE. It's almost a rule of thumb that if you're Samoan or a midget, you've got a good place carved out for you in Pro Wrestling. Some of the more fortunate like Dink The Clown or Max Mini have their share of the spotlight in the past, and even King Cheesey and Little Boogey got their 15 seconds of fame playing second fiddle to their full size counterparts.

It seemed at first that the little guy was doomed the same fate as Finlay's little troublemaker. Hell, he didn't even get a name until about a year in. But he has certainly lived past his potential as he became the first little person to win a singles title in the WWE. Sure, the Cruiserweight Title has been one of the lowest regarded belts around, but what else was there to do with it other than give Chavo Guererro another run? No offense to Kerwin White, but having the Cruiserweight Title at this point does nothing for him, and is just shows that creative has nothing better to do with the title (and honestly, the same can be said about putting it on Rey Mysterio as well.)

With a limited division, it almost seemed logical to give Hornswoggle the Cruiserweight Title. Some argue that it devalues the title, but the win itself was an upset, and it's not like Jamie Noble was jobbed out by taking the pin from him. It hasn't been defended as actively, but with only a handful of contenders available it's best to try and stretch these things out. The one person that has benefited the most from all of this is in fact Noble. He wasn't doing much of anything before, or at least not anything that anyone's cared about. This feud, while mostly comical, has given give Mr. Noble more TV time than he has had since he debuted as Nunzio's cousin. Now that the Championship is vacated, Noble is the most logical choice to give the title to, as he is now the most over man in the Cruiserweight Division.

Now Hornswoggle is living the good life on RAW. He's involved in a major storyline with Vince McMahon thanks to Spoilers leaked onto the internet that Mr. Kennedy was going to be revealed as Mr. McMahon. Call it pure luck, but this at least guarantees job security for the immediate future. While heavily booked now, one would question what is next for him after this angle dies down? Will he be the latest superstar released because they have nothing left for him to do? Will they bring in another midget for him to feud with? Will he become the newest General Manager for one of the three brands? Only time will tell with Hornswoggle, but for right now things are certainly looking up.