Monday, April 30, 2007

Have You Seen It?

A few years back, one of my best friends moved away to Texas to pursue a graduate degree in Chemistry. He has only made about two visits back since he's been gone. On one, he made sure that I sat down and watched this little gem. Rather than me tell you about it, I will send you over to the master of talking about crap in professional wrestling, R.D. Reynolds of Wrestlecrap.com.

"Pop quiz, hot shot: name the number one best selling wrestling DVD of all time. Go on, try. I dare you.

Want a hint? Well, it's not the Ric Flair Ultimate Collection, nor is it the Bret Hart set. It wasn't a Wrestlemania release. It doesn't have Hulk Hogan, Rock, Steve Austin, or any other top WWE name. In fact, it wasn't even put out by WWE. Or WCW. Or ECW. Or, for that matter, any other wrestling promotion you have ever possibly have heard of.

Give up? It's a DVD entitled Grand Masters of Wrestling, and you've likely seen it sitting in the $1 bin at the local Wal-Mart. It was an independent release, and while we generally give indies a free pass here at the Crap, we can't this time, as we feel it would be a disservice to the entire wrestling DVD buying public if we didn't warn those folks that even one hundred Lincoln coppers is way, way too much to pay for the pain and agony you will unleash upon your eyeballs and eardrums.

Actually, that's not true. The original Grand Masters is a pile of crap, to be sure, but it's not horribly offensive. Heck, there's even a decent match on there in the form of the opening bout of Ace Darling versus "Dangerous" Devon Storm, who WCW viewers will know as Crowbar. The rest of the disc, featuring the likes of King Kong Bundy versus Jobber of the Week favorite "Iron" Mike Sharpe (who looked to weigh as much as Bundy by this point) was a perfectly acceptable trip down memory lane.

But following the success of the first disc, a second disc was released. No no - scratch that, as "released" is far too kind a word. It was more unleashed upon an unsuspecting world, not unlike the return of polio or perhaps the black plague. Seriously, think of the worst wrestling card you've ever seen. I can state, without hyperbole, that this is at least 10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 times worse.

The show, as best I can tell, looks to be taped in a grade school gym. I wish I could give you more details, but I've scoured the globe (ok, so I just did a Google search and didn't find anything on the first page - shoot me) and discovered nothing.

One thing I do know, however, is that it appears to be for some type of Jewish festival. I know this, because throughout the disc, various wrestlers put over those of the Jewish faith and there's a guy named the Mighty Maccabee in the main event, fighting for the Maccabiah Heavyweight Championship. I figured this was something very prestigious in the Jewish community, so I contacted my good friend Jeff Cohen, the guy who brought me into the business (yes, you can blame him for all this) to give me some insight on both the man and the belt.

His response?

"Never heard of them."

On with the show!"

Read the rest at:

No comments: