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Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Soup Du Jour

You are driving down a road shaking furiously at what you know was a disgrace. You’ve just witnessed a travesty, a low down dirt shame. You stop at a bar and try to drink away your pain, but this feeling just doesn’t leave your mind. It’s a slow grueling pain like having someone jam a spoon in your abdomen and turning it like they were eating spaghetti. You finish the long arduous journey home, only to stumble out of your car and induce vomiting in hopes to make yourself feel better. Only to toss and turn for the rest of your night and wake up at 5 am to get ready for a horrible day of work.

Sound like a nightmare? Well that was my personal fall out after witnessing the WWE Championship match at Wrestlemania. At first you must know that if I put all personal favoritism aside, I still think I might have projectile vomited at performance turned in by your WWE Champion John Cena.

Personally, when The Champ came to Raw it seemed to be a breath of fresh air. The consistent title reigns of HHH had become stale, Brock Lesnar was looking forward to his fruitful career in Pro-Football, and Goldberg was, well he was old. A new young charismatic face with silky smooth mic skills that rivaled any rapper on No Limit Records and I was drawn right in.

After a 280 day reign, Edge beat Cena. Thinking that we finally could start fresh with a new champ…but no Edge’s 21 day Rated R championship stay was ended by Cena which made me wish that Jesús would have punctured a serious organ or just shot him in the face. So now with a CD, a few music videos, and a full length feature film under the Doctor of Thugonomics’ belt what is there left to do. Well apparently at the top of his list was to piss me off.

But on April fools day up in Bright lights, on Center Stage, in the Main event, Hyped as The Boy Hood Dream vs. All Grown Up: The Heart Break Kid Shawn Michaels versus The WWE Champ John Cena. HBK a stellar effort and arguably maybe his best match since dare I say 1996. However the Chain Gang Soldier got worked. He got schooled by a wrestler who is everything his aliases imply. The main event, the show stopper, the icon; but not even all of that would stop the marine. A bum knee, a haggard elbow, a sore back who knows maybe it was the pile driver off the ring steps that made Cena forget how bad he was beaten. Or maybe Good old J.R. threw this seaman a can of spinach. The world may never know. Nevertheless, “The Champ is STILL Here” and needs to be dealt with.

News Flash: it doesn’t matter how many kids cheer you or young women want to sex you up. Mr. Cena, you’re just not one of the special ingredients in the soup of the day.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

very well written. go figure, tuna adds writter to his repertoire

Anonymous said...

writer im a moron

Anonymous said...

Well mister Allen I may have to interject a few things here. He is known as a legend because of his ability to put on maches like these lose and still be a fan favorite. His ability to carry an opponent that is over the top on carisma and still a little green at carrying a match has locked him into this spot and made him the valuable commodity he is. Not many superstars would go out on their back to put over a new up and comer that will carry the franchise for years to come(if he doesnt go the way of the rock). Remember HBK's former tag team partner Deisel who refused this curtesy and therefor lost himself his job. He wouldnt of been Brought back as many times DX would of never been as popular and he would of never won 12 major titles and 2 rumble championships.
-Leeper
PS good to see u buddy u know I like to disagree haha

Tim Haught said...

Interesting perspective Mr. Leeper. However, I will say that I very much disagree with your analysis of Kevin "Diesel" Nash. Kevin Nash did not lose his job in any promotion for refusal to put talent over. While he has been known to be heavy into backstage politics, Nash left the WWE (Then F) on his own accord for Ted Turner's money and the beginning of the New World Order.

Still, you are right on the money when you say that Shawn Michaels is a very valuable commodity. To think that only a few years ago people insisted he'd never wrestle again.

Anonymous said...

I see what u mean I didnt reread how that came across when I typed it. I was refering to later in his career when his ego had outstripped his declining talent. Himself and Scott Hall bolted for the turner fourtune and with this money he felt he had made it and that his name alone should get him through. Again sorry for the misunderstanding.
-Leeper