Again, it has been a while. Consistency has never been a strength of mine. I am mostly done with my MBA, so I should be able to step it up here, assuming of course I have something interesting to write about. In my opinion, the worst thing I can do is give you readers an uninspired article just to meet a deadline. My last column was in February. I was attempting to push through on the Road to WrestleMania.
I was actually fortunate enough to attend WrestleMania XXIV in Orlando, Florida thanks to my good friend Shawn. The experience was incredible. Shawn won a contest, which gave us backstage access at Axxess, and got us a stretch excursion ride to the Citrus Bowl. Our car was let in to the wrong gate and we actually spent a few minutes backstage prior to WrestleMania where we saw Randy Orton and John Cena prior to the granddaddy of them all. Don't believe me? Here is a picture of us backstage at Axxess:
Ten people jobbed to me in the WWE name game:
Here is a picture of our stretch excursion:
Here is a picture of us backstage at WrestleMania with Jimmy Wang Yang and Shannon Moore:
Notice how Cherry loves me. Cherry, if you are out there, I love you too! You are gorgeous. Anywho, my dream of attending a WrestleMania became a reality, and the whole weekend was incredibly special, especially due to the fanfare surrounding Ric Flair's retirement. WrestleMania missteps? The biggest one I can think of was putting JBL over Finlay. WWE had a major star on their hands. Then they pulled the rug out from under him. Sad to see Finlay languishing on Smackdown after what should have been a triumphant victory over Mr. McMahon at WrestleMania XXIV.
I have never been a big Jeff Hardy fan. I have not been too much of a William Regal fan either. Funny how when my interest peaks in both men, and I see them as can't miss main eventers, they both get 60 day wellness suspensions. Regal vs. Triple H should have been the program of the summer. Now that the possibility is gone altogether, I would like to see Trips drop his belt-ah at One Night Stand-ah to Randy Orton-ah.
WWE's One Night Stand is right around the corner, and 5 matches have been announced as of this writing:
WWE Title Last Man Standing Match
Triple H © vs. Randy Orton
First Blood Match
JBL vs. John Cena
Stretcher Match
Shawn Michaels vs. Batista
Falls Count Anywhere Match
Jeff Hardy vs. Umaga
Singapore Cane Match (To crown a #1 Contender for the ECW Title)
Tommy Dreamer vs. CM Punk vs. John Morrison vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. The Big Show
Is it just me or has JBL been awful since his return to the ring? He ruined his match with Chris Jericho at the Royal Rumble, he ruined Finlay's program with Vince McMahon and inexplicably went over at WrestleMania, and his positioning in the title picture on Raw seems awkward and forced. I have not seen his Judgment Day match with John Cena, but I am not expecting a great deal from their first blood match at One Night Stand. Why didn't JBL choose a bullrope match, or something more related to his gimmick? Eh, who cares. The winner of this match will likely work with the winner of the Orton/HHH match next. As I said, the up and coming contenders I was most interested in watching were Jeff Hardy and William Regal. I guess that won't be happening for either of them any time soon.
Speaking of Jeff Hardy, what is the deal with the WWE's use of Umaga? Whenever a babyface needs an opponent, a supposed authority figure will bring out the Samoan Bulldozer as a punishment, but who are they really punishing. Umaga has been brought out to be the demise of Triple H, John Cena, Shawn Michaels, and Jeff Hardy on a number of occasions, and every single time, he gets his ass handed to him. How can these Raw babyfaces remotely hold a straight face when Umaga is coming to destroy them, knowing that the guy hasn't won a match in the last 8 months. For all the job duty Umaga has done, he should have defeated Batista at WrestleMania XXIV. He is a solid hand for the WWE, and at one time he was a hot character. Unfortunately, it doesn't appear that it will be long before they turn him from a Samoan Savage to a big dancing goof like his big brother Rikishi. If they do make him dance, I got the perfect song for him. Sing it to the tune of YMCA.
Young Man, you are in for a fight because
Young Man, your opponent tonight is a
Young Man, from the Isle of Samoa
Who we call the Samoan Bulldozer
Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun
You have to wrestle the U-M-A-G-A
You have to wrestle the U-M-A-G-A
He's got dreadlocked hair, he's got white thumb tape, since Patterson's gone this is as close as we have come to butt rape
CMoney in the Bank Punk is in a number one contenders match at One Night Stand. Not really making a lot of sense from where I am sitting. I guess he could win this, take the ECW title, and cash in the briefcase for a different title. Personally, I would like to see the elevation of Shelton Benjamin. Not that this is a secret to anyone who reads my columns. How do I propose that they do this? Let me tell you…
Week 1: May 24-31: At One Night Stand, presumably Big Show will go over as the number one contender for the ECW title. That is fine, as Benjamin is not ready to contend for that title just yet. Tuesday Night on Sci-Fi, Benjamin defeated Kofi Kingston. With one ECW show left prior to One Night Stand, Benjamin should get a second victory over Kingston, to squash any type of program brewing between the two.
ECW: Benjamin then cuts a promo: I came to ECW to prove that I am the man, and that is exactly what I have done. I am the Gold Standard. Hell, I am the Black Nature Boy, Whoooo!
One Night Stand: At One Night Stand right before the Shawn Michaels/Batista match, Benjamin and Elijah Burke get some face time backstage. Benjamin is dressed in a suit, with a rolex watch and diamond rings on. Benjamin goes on to tell Burke that he is a Street Fightin', High Flyin, Show Stealing, Sex Appealing, Son of a Bitch, Whooo. He then puts over Elijah Burke's legit boxing background, and offers him a role as his enforcer. He then starts referring to Burke as Double E, which could stand for Elijah Enforcer, Elijah Experience, or Elijah Express.
Week 2: June 1 – 7: ECW: On the June third ECW broadcast, Benjamin dons a Ric Flair-esque robe and comes out to his signature Ain't No Stopping Me Now, followed by Ric Flair's 1991 WWF theme.
Benjamin, with Burke by his side cuts a promo saying that if diamonds are forever, the gold standard's one better. Tonight, Colin Delaney will walk that aisle, and the Black Nature Boy will take him to school. Whooo!
During the match, Benjamin sends Delaney to the outside, where he takes 4-Up and a Double E spinebuster. Burke rolls Delaney back in where Benjamin hits Paydirt and locks in a figure four. Delaney is out, so the ref counts his shoulders down, 1, 2, 3.
Smackdown: That same week, Burke is set to wrestle Matt Hardy on Smackdown for the United States title. During the match, Benjamin attempts interference but is cut off by Hardy. With the ref distracted by Benjamin, The Miz and John Morrison make their way into the ring. Morrison levels Hardy with the tag team title belt, and Miz pulls Burke on top of Matt Hardy for the 3 count. Winner and new United States Champion, Elijah Burke.
Week 3: June 8-14: ECW: The next week on ECW, Benjamin, Burke, Miz, and Morrison open the show. They congratulate Burke on his United States title and proclaim themselves the New Breed of Horsemen, and hold up four fingers. Benjamin whoo's repeatedly, until Batista's music hits. The Animal makes his way down to the ring to confront Benjamin and company saying, you are no Evolution, and you certainly are no Four Horsemen. The New Breed Horsemen take exception to this and attack. Batista is able to fend them off briefly, but eventually succumbs to the 4 on 1 beat down.
Benjamin beats an ECW roster member.
Miz and Morrison defeat an ECW or Smackdown Tag Team.
Smackdown: Friday Night Smackdown rolls around, and Batista comes to the ring to say that the New Breed has Unleashed the Animal, and challenges them all right there on the spot. The four come out to the top of the ramp to Flair's 91 theme. Benjamin takes the microphone and says that Batista has not earned the right to stand toe to toe with the most athletic player in the game, the Black Nature Boy, Shelton Benjamin, whooo! He tells Batista that he will have the pleasure of meeting United States Champion Elijah Burke, and Tag Team Champions Miz and Morrsion three on one tonight.
Backstage, Batista is gearing up for his match when in walks Cody Rhodes. Rhodes acknowledges that he is not supposed to be on Smackdown, but he has seen what Benjamin and company are doing to tarnish the legacy of Ric Flair and the Horsemen, and he won't stand for it. He figured Batista would need some back up, so he and Hardcore Holly are there to watch his back. The match is changed to Burke, Miz, and Morrsion vs. Batista, Holly, and Rhodes. Batista, Holly, and Rhodes win when Rhodes rolls up Morrison quick for a three count.
Week 4: June 15-21: Raw: The next week on Raw, Rhodes and Holly are scheduled to defend their tag team championship against Carlito and Santino Marella on Raw. Earlier in the night, Piper and Rhodes are shown backstage talking about what Santino Marella and the new horsemen group. During the tag title match, Morrison appears on the screen. "Hey Cody, Cody! We got a little surprise for you. Cody is distracted from the apron. The New Breed are standing with lead pipes. Does this look familiar to you?" They hold up a bloody Dusty Rhodes, bring him to a car in the parking lot, and slam his arm in the door. The Miz comes on. "And just to make sure that he doesn't get in our business, we got Piper too!" They hold up Piper and give him repeated shots to his surgically repaired hip with the lead pipes. Cody Rhodes begins to run to the back. Hardcore Holly walks to the ropes facing the entrance with his arms out asking Cody where he is going. Carlito delivers a back cracker and pins Holly to win the Tag Team titles.
When Rhodes gets to the backstage area, the New Breed are already gone, and Shawn Michaels is attending to Rhodes and Piper with a number of agents and referees. Cody breaks down and weeps into his hands.
ECW: ECW starts with the New Breed in the ring gloating about what they have done to Piper and Dusty, and say to let it serve as a warning to anyone who wants to get in their business. Shawn Michaels music hits and he walks to the ring and stands face to face with the four new breed members. "I know what it is like to be young and cocky with a chip on your shoulder. I know what it is like to give everything you have and not get noticed, but I have been around long enough to know that this is not the way to do it." Morrison, Burke, Benjamin, and Miz take turns mocking Shawn. Morrison suggests that Shawn doesn't remember what it's like to be in that position, because he has been politicking and holding guys down for the last 15 years. Miz says that if he had never stepped up and thrown Marty Jannetty through the barber shop window, he would be in line collecting unemployment checks with Techno Team 2000. Burke tells him that he would be better suited to stay out of New Breed business and get lost to go find his smile. Benjamin gets in his face and says, "Shawn Michaels, you are as much of an opportunist as anyone of us. Look at what you did to Ric Flair at WrestleMania XXIV. I am the Black Nature Boy Whooo! If diamonds are forever, the gold standard is one better. I am a street fightin, high flying, show stealing… Shawn interrupts Benjamin with a slap to the face. The New Breed starts to beat down Shawn, but Rhodes, Holly, and Batista come to make the save. GM Estrada announces a four on four match for the main event.
Backstage, Batista and Shawn squash their beef, agreeing that this isn't about either of them, it's about the legacy of Ric Flair. Cody Rhodes is chomping at the bit, but Hardcore Holly looks less than enthused. Holly begins talking about Rhodes taking his eye off the ball and losing their tag team titles. Michaels reprimands Holly, suggesting they focus on the task at hand tonight, and the mood is tense.
5 minutes into the main event, the ref loses control and all hell breaks loose. In the ring, Shawn Michaels goes to deliver the flying forearm to the Miz, but he ducks and HBK hits Hardcore Holly. Michaels kips up and gives sweet chin music to the Miz, which knocks him out of the ring. Morrison slides in, and Shawn gives him and atomic drop and goes to work with right hands. Holly rolls to the outside of the ring and grabs a chair. Inside the ring, Michaels bodyslams Morrison and goes to the top for the elbow. He hits. He gets up to go for Sweet Chin Music and Hardcore Holly lays him out with a hard chair shot. Miz rolls back in and slides on top of Michaels for the three count while Holly walks out on the whole thing.
Smackdown: On Smackdown that week, Holly is nowhere to be found. The New Breed gloat about their victory on ECW and take credit for Shawn Michaels being unable to compete on Smackdown. Batista and Cody Rhodes will meet Miz and Morrison for the tag team titles, and Matt Hardy will meet Elijah Burke for the US title. Matt Hardy defeats Burke by disqualification when Shelton Benjamin interferes. Miz and Morrison walk out with their tag team titles when the going gets tough. Matt Hardy sneaks behind them and throws them back into the ring. Rhodes hits a DDT on the Miz, and Batista give the Batista Bomb to Morrison, but Benjamin and Burke get to the ring just in time to break up the three counts and end the match in a DQ. Matt Hardy gets in the fight, and Rhodes, Batista, and Hardy are left standing at the end of the fight.
Week 5: June 22-29: Raw: Monday Night Raw begins with the Highlight Reel with guests Hardcore Holly and Cody Rhodes. Rhodes comes out first, and Holly comes out second to his own music, complete with that stupid How do you like me now entrance. Chris Jericho announces that Holly and Rhodes are scheduled to face Miz and Morrison for the Tag Team Titles tomorrow night on ECW. Rhodes denounces the actions of Holly from the previous week and tells Holly to apologize. Holly speaks about working for 15 years with Shawn Michaels, the opportunities Michaels stole from him, and how he just plain doesn't like Shawn Michaels and that is why he did what he did. "As far as Rhodes and Holly teaming tonight for the tag team titles? Here is my answer to that. Holly gives Rhodes a hard slap to the mouth and walks out of the ring." Rhodes holds his face and stares at Holly as he makes his exit, proud of distancing himself from Rhodes. When Holly gets to the top of the ramp, Shawn Michaels music hits. When Holly turns around, HBK levels him with Sweet Chin Music, and gets down and begins shouting in his face. Cody Rhodes manages a smile and leaves.
Shawn Michaels was already scheduled to face Chris Jericho at the Night of Champions for the Intercontinental title. They will also face off later on this night in a non title match as a preview for the Night of Champions. I am not a big fan of this kind of booking, but WWE does it quite often. Hardcore Holly interrupts with his steel chair in hand and lays out both Jericho and Michaels, inserting himself into the match at Night of Champions. Holly and Michaels have been effectively removed from the Horsemen storyline, despite Holly's prior ties to Rhodes and Michaels relationship with Flair and reason to be at the front lines.
ECW: The next night on ECW, Elijah Burke and Shelton Benjamin are shown backstage. They announce that if Batista or Matt Hardy lay a hand on any member of the New Breed tonight without physical provocation, Matt Hardy will forfeit his United States title match with Burke at Night of Champions, and Batista will not face Benjamin at One Night Stand.
Shelton defeats an ECW roster member.
Burke defeats an ECW roster member.
The Miz and John Morrison make their entrance and await Cody Rhodes, knowing that he is without a partner for the evening. Rhodes makes his way to the ring to compete alone. Trevor Murdoch's music hits and he makes his way to the ring with a microphone. He says he's been watching what's been going on, and says it's been too long since a Murdoch and a Rhodes stood side by side kicking ass and taking names. He asks if Rhodes will accept him as his tag team partner, and Rhodes replies, "The Rhodes family has wined and dined with King's and Queens, and slept in alleys and dined on pork and beans, but there is no place more comfortable for a Rhodes than as a Texas Outlaw, with a Murdoch watching his back!" Burke and Benjamin make their way to the ring with no music, looking concerned at this turn of events while the match starts. Batista and Matt Hardy make their way to the ring to even out the sides. Batista and Hardy make their way out to even up the odds, but neither is allowed to make any contact with Burke or Benjamin if not physically provoked. Burke and Benjamin take turns cheating, as Batista and Hardy get increasingly frustrated, causing more distractions and more cheating. Dusty Rhodes music hits and he and "Rowdy" Roddy Piper make their way to ringside and dispose of Benjamin and Burke. Rhodes hits a DDT while Murdoch hits a bulldog, and they simultaneously pin the Miz and Morrison to win the Tag Team titles. They celebrate with Batista, Matt Hardy, Dusty Rhodes, and Roddy Piper.
Smackdown: Friday Night Smackdown begins with the New Breed fuming about losing the tag team titles. Miz and Morrison announce that they will use their rematch clause at Night of Champions. Burke talks about being the enforcer and talks about Hardy. Benjamin cuts a Flair like promo on Batista, then promises that the New Breed will do something that no one will ever forget that night on Smackdown.
Backstage, Batista and Hardy are shown talking with Dusty Rhodes and Ricky Steamboat. It is announced that Cody and Trevor Murdoch are not there. Matt Hardy and Batista both pick up wins over Smackdown roster members to prepare for Night of Champions. Backstage Ricky Steamboat is shown walking, when he is jumped and beaten by the members of the New Breed. They cut a promo stating how Steamboat is the Dragon, and so he probably likes fire. They then threaten to set him on fire and begin dousing him with gasoline. Batista and Hardy arrive just in time to prevent the lighting, chasing off the New Breed.
Night of Champions: Miz and Morrison defeat Rhodes and Murdoch to regain the Tag Team Titles. Elijah Burke loses the United States Title back to Matt Hardy. Shelton Benjamin picks a victory over Batista thanks to help from Elijah Burke. Shawn Michaels defeats Hardcore Holly.
Week 6: June 30-July 6: ECW: ECW opens with the New Breed bragging about their accomplishments from the night before. Burke begins a feud with Batista, Miz and Morrison brag up their Tag Team Title victory, and Benjamin challenges Kane for the ECW World Heavyweight Championship at the Great American Bash. Miz and Morrison defeat Colin Delaney and Tommy Dreamer, Burke defeats Stevie Richards, Benjamin defeats the Boogeyman. Kane defeats Bam Neely and is attacked by the New Breed at the end of the show.
Smackdown: Batista answers Burke's challenge and a match is scheduled for next Tuesday on ECW. A backstage promo is shown with the New Breed living a Horsemen lifestyle in the back of a limo with many women, mocking Batista, Ric Flair, and Arn Anderson.
Week 7: July 7-July 13: ECW: ECW begins with Miz and Morrison talking about defeating every team the WWE has to offer, calling themselves the most dominant Tag Team in WWE history. Barry Windham makes his way to the ring to confront Miz and Morrison. Barry talks about what it meant to hold the 4 fingers in the air, and how a group like the Horsemen could never be recreated. Miz and Morrison make fun of the Horsemen's legacy and Windham, spitting in his face. Windham unloads with hard right hands, clearing the ring. He challenges them to a match that night. On ECW, Batista defeats Elijah Burke. Miz and Morrison defeat Barry Windham and Mike Rotundo. Shelton Benjamin and Kane have a contract signing for their World Title Match at the Great American Bash. Shelton cuts a promo about how next week ECW will eminate from Charlotte, NC. He plays up how he is from South Carolina, and from now on the Carolina's will be known as Benjamin Country. The show ends with an attempted New Breed attack on Kane, which he fends off by throwing Miz, Morrison, and Burke over the top rope, and creating a ring of fire around the ring. He then chokeslams Benjamin through the table, and sets the corner pyro off as the show goes off the air.
Week 8: July 14-July 21: ECW in Charlotte, NC: The New Breed come out impersonating the Horsemen. Miz and Morrison talk about defeating Barry Windham, and Shelton gets on the mic and begins going into his Flair routine. Flair's music hits and he comes to the ring with Arn Anderson, Barry Windham, and Dean Malenko. Flair cuts a spirited promo about what it means to be a Horsemen, why the four men in front of him haven't earned it, and why they never will. Flair speaks about the Nature Boy name, and how Benjamin hasn't earned that, and he doesn't know what it means to be the Nature Boy. "I've beaten BUDDY ROGERS, BUDDY LANDELL, and by hell, you couldn't lace my boots Buddy Benjamin! I am the limousine riding, jet flying, kiss stealing, wheeling, dealing son of a gun! You want to make yourself famous at the expense of Ric Flair? Let me tell you, pal. I chose a man to wrestle my final match with. That man's name is Shawn Michaels. If I thought you could give me half the match Shawn Michaels did at WrestleMania, I would take you to school. Burke, Miz, and Morrison are chomping at the bit to get to the Horsemen, but Benjamin suggest discretion be the better part of valor and retreats. The Real Horsemen celebrate in the ring. ECW ends with Kane defeating Elijah Burke. Backstage, Arn Anderson says his goodbyes to his Horsemen comrades and makes his way to his car. Anderson is attacked by the Miz and Morrison at his car, and ECW goes off the air.
Smackdown: Smackdown returns from commercial and Ric Flair's music hits. Flair and Anderson make their way to the ring. Flair is outraged. Flair cuts a promo how he made a promise to his family that he was done wrestling and he's wrestling with keeping that promise. Arn Anderson has his injured arm in a sling and bandages on his head. Anderson cuts a classic cold calculated promo saying There are three things you should never do: 1)Don't step on superman's cape 2) don't mess with a dog in it's own back yard and 3) don't mess with the 4 horsemen! The Miz and Morrison make their way to the ring and go to attack, but Anderson is throwing punches from his good arm, and Flair is in rare form. Flair chops down Miz, gives a whoo, and hooks in the figure four leglock, while Anderson delivers a Double A spinebuster to Morrison. Burke runs to the ring, and Flair unlocks the figure four, and they beg Burke to come get a piece. Burke stops and rolls Morrison and Miz out of the ring and helps them to the back. Flair and Anderson celebrate with Four Fingers in the air. Backstage, Batista laughs with them and congratulates them on their performance. Kane walks in and asks them if they will have his back at the Great American Bash on Sunday. The ECW title match is made into a lumberjack match. Shelton will have Miz, Morrison, and Burke in his corner. Kane will have Flair, Anderson, and Batista in his.
Great American Bash: Shelton Benjamin defeats Kane in a Lumberjack match to win the ECW World Heavyweight title. Shawn Michaels defeats Hardcore Holly. Cody Rhodes and Trevor Murdoch defeat Santino Marella and Carlito for the World Tag Team Titles.
Week 9: July 21-28: ECW: Shelton Benjamin has a victory celebration. There is a large box in the ring. Miz and Morrison tell him they have a special surprise for them, saying they went to FCW where Reid is training. They point to the Titantron. A video plays of them beating and kidnapping Reid Flair. The box lifts and Reid is underneath bound to a chair and gagged. Shelton takes the gag off of him, and prompts him to say who the real nature boy is. Reid says Ric Flair, and Benjamin slaps him. He asks again. This continues until Benjamin gets fed up and delivers his spinning kick, knocking the chair over, and Reid out cold. Kane makes his way out and the New Breed leaves.
Smackdown: Ric Flair is shown backstage saying that he will get revenge on the New Breed. Reid appears bruised and battered, saying no dad, this is my fight! Later in the night, Reid is shown talking to Arn Anderson. Anderson offers to help him. Reid again says that it is his fight. Reid says he will be at ECW on Tuesday night and promises to take care of the New Breed. It is announced that Kane will have his ECW title rematch on Tuesday's ECW.
Week 10: July 28-August 2: ECW: Shawn Michaels, Batista, Cody Rhodes, and Trevor Murdoch walk into Reid Flair's dressing room. Reid insists that he needs to handle this himself. Triple H walks in, and says he regrets that he has things of his own that he needs to take care of as he would also like to be of assistance.. He tells Reid that Ric Flair has taught him a lot, one of those things being the value of strength in numbers. Reid listens to Triple H and welcomes the assistance of Michaels, Batista, Rhodes, and Murdoch. Triple H leaves. Backstage in the New Breed lockeroom Shelton is flipping out. He has a title match with Kane that night, and now there are outnumbered. Burke says he will take care of it. Kane comes to the ring for his rematch. Shelton comes to the ring flanked by Miz and Morrison. The Titantron shows Elijah Burke driving a forklift to the door where Michaels, Batista, Flair, Rhodes, and Murdoch are. Burke leaves the keys in the car and makes his way towards the entrance. Burke comes down to the ring with a big smile on his face, and Shelton goes from being worried to relaxed. As the New Breed work over Kane throughout the match, Shelton gains a comfortable advantage. The Titantron shows Triple H returning to the door where the forklift is parked. Triple H notices the keys in it, gets in, and removes it from the door. Shelton and the New Breed watch as Flair, Batista, Rhodes, and Murdoch come pouring out of the door. Michaels walks out last, smiles at Triple H says, "Thanks buddy." To which Triple H, replies, "No problem." Upon seeing the calvary heading to the ring, Miz, Morrison, and Burke immediately jump into the ring with chairs and attack Kane causing a DQ. They are able to "pillmanize" his ankle right before the group of babyfaces hits the top of the ramp. Kane is in obvious pain as the New Breed retreats through the crowd.
Smackdown: Batista, Michaels, Reid Flair, Cody Rhodes, and Trevor Murdoch make their way to the ring. Reid says there is only one way to resolve this. At Summerslam, they want a 5 on 5 War Games Match.
Week 11: August 3-August 10: Raw: Dusty Rhodes, Barry Windham, and Arn Anderson talk to Reid Flair about how War Games is the most vicious environment in the history of professional wrestling, and that no one is ever the same afterwards. Dusty says that he really doesn't want his son taking part, but the War Games seem to be a right of passage for a Rhodes. Windham argues that Reid has a bright future ahead of him, and not to ruin it by taking part in this match. Anderson says it's one thing when you've been wrestling for years. It's another thing when it's your debut match. I am like an uncle to you, and I don't want to see you do it. Your dad wouldn't want to see you do it either. A vignette plays that shows the history of the War Games.
ECW: Charlie Haas approaches Shelton Benjamin backstage and talks about the history the two have together, saying he wants to be a part of the New Breed and take the fifth place in the War Games match. Shelton appears as though he's considering it, and then asks Miz, Morrison, and Burke what they think. The three New Breed members beat down Haas. Shelton wooo's in his face before the group walks off. The New Breed comes to the ring and accept the War Games Challenge on one condition. If the New Breed win, Ric Flair, Arn Anderson, Barry Windham, Ricky Steamboat, and Dusty Rhodes must bow and kiss the feet of the New Breed. They then introduce their 5th partner for the War Games match, The Samoan Bulldozer, Umaga! Armando Estrada comes to the ring to announce that there is a steel cage hanging over head to show Reid Flair what he is in for at WarGames. He calls for Colin Delaney to come to the ring. Delaney comes out. He says that right now, Delaney will face the Samoan Bulldozer Umaga inside the steel cage, and snaps a cigar. The New Breed and Estrada exit, and Estrada demands that they lower the cage. Umaga tears through Delaney.
Smackdown: Shawn Michaels, Batista, Cody Rhodes and Trevor Murdoch defeat Chavo Guerrero, Bam Neely, Zach Ryder, and Cody Hawkins in a four on four tag match. Cody Rhodes takes the microphone after the match and insists that when they win, Flair, Rhodes, Windham, Steamboat, and Anderson will get five minutes alone in the cage with Shelton Benjamin.
Week 12: August 11- August 18: Raw: Umaga faces Super Crazy in a Steel Cage, and gives him the Colin Delaney treatment. Backstage, DH Smith talks to Reid Flair about how his Dad competed in one War Games match in 1993, left the company 2 months later and said that he would never compete in War Games again. Shelton Benjamin questions Elijah Burke's ability to perform in the role of the enforcer, mentioning his recent losses to Matt Hardy, Batista, and Kane, and his mistake of leaving the keys in the forklift two weeks before on ECW. Elijah replies that if it weren't for him, Miz and Morrison would no longer have their tag team titles, and there is no way Shelton Benjamin would be holding the ECW World Heavyweight title. Shelton looks mad, and says that Burke will face Shawn Michaels tonight, and he expects Michaels to be taken care of the same way that Umaga has taken care of Colin Delaney and Super Crazy. Reid Flair is shown backstage again, and Stone Cold Steve Austin comes to talk with him. Austin says that he was in one War Games match in 1992, and unquestionably, it was like going through hell. "It was that experience that helped me realize that I am the world's toughest S.O.B., and when I got fired by Fed Ex three years later, I knew that if I survived War Games, I could survive anything. Now you have fighting in your blood. Your dad was the greatest wrestler to ever lace up a pair of boots. So you are going to enter the War Games, and you are going to Unleash Hell, and that's the bottom line cause Stone Cold said so. Later that night, Elijah Burke wrestles a hard fought match with Shawn Michaels, but succumbs to Sweet Chin Music. Michaels leaves, and Burke is laying on the mat as they go to commercial. When they return, the New Breed members and Umaga are standing around Burke. Burke makes his way back to his feet, and Umaga delivers a Samoan Spike. Shelton Benjamin hooks in the figure four leglock and begins wooo'ing. Batista, Michaels, Rhodes, Murdoch, Reid Flair, Ric Flair, Arn Anderson, Dusty Rhodes, Barry Windham, and Ricky Steamboat all run to the ring to chase the New Breed members away.
ECW: Shelton Benjamin, Miz, Morrison, and Umaga make their way to the ring to talk about their decision to drop the dead weight. Burke makes his way to the ring with Charlie Haas, Colin Delaney, and Super Crazy. Burke says that it was a mistake to do Benjamin's dirty work for so long, and that the New Breed would not be what it is without him, and was sure to fall apart without him. Benjamin tells him that to be the man, you have to beat the man, whooooo! Burke says they want a four on four match tonight, and Benjamin is sure to get 4-up. Benjamin says that there is a problem with that challenge as his team has five members. He says Reid Flair, make sure you are watching and introduces a returning Big Daddy V. As Burke, Haas, Delaney, and Crazy turn to watch V make his way to the ring, Miz, Morrison, Benjamin and Umaga attack. Just as V hits the ring, Kane's music hits, and the Big Red Machine makes his return to ECW. With Kane's help, the group is able to clear the ring of the New Breed, Umaga, and V. A 5 on 5 match is scheduled for later on that night. Elijah Burke and Kane are the only two members of their team that get any effective offense on the New Breed. The match ends with Charlie Haas in the ring alone with both Big Daddy V and Umaga. Umaga hits the Samoan Spike, and V drops an elbow to get the pin. The announcers highlight how that could be Reid Flair at Summerslam.
Smackdown: As a preview for War Games, Miz and Morrison will face Cody Rhodes and Trevor Murdoch, Batista will face Umaga, and Shawn Michaels will face Big Daddy V. Miz and Morrison defeat Rhodes and Murdoch, Batista defeats Umaga, and Shawn Michaels vs. Big Daddy V goes to a no contest when all the members of both teams get involved in a slugfest. Ric Flair, Rick Steamboat, Dusty Rhodes, Arn Anderson, and Barry Windham again come out and stand victorious with the members of the team.
Summerslam: War Games, The Match Beyond: The veterans are waiting on the side of the ring with Batista, Michaels, Rhodes, Murdoch, and Reid Flair. The match starts with Trevor Murdoch and John Morrison. The New Breed gains the advantage, and sends the Miz into the ring. They double team Murdoch and Cody Rhodes is sent in. With Murdoch beat down, the two focus attention to Cody Rhodes. Then Umaga is sent in. Umaga, Morrison, and Miz destroy Rhodes and Murdoch, until Batista makes his way through the cage. The match begins to even out, with the heels maintaining a slight advantage. The heels send in Shelton Benjamin. The advantage grows, and Shawn Michaels decides to go in. Michaels evens up the sides, giving the babyfaces the first advantage of the night. Big Daddy V makes his way in and begins to destroy what's left of the babyface team, and finally Reid Flair makes his WWE debut. Batista and Big Daddy V square off, Umaga and Shawn Michaels square off, Trevor Murdoch ends up with John Morrison while Cody Rhodes has Shelton Benjamin. Somewhere in the fray, Reid Flair is able to hook the figure four leglock on the Miz, and the Miz surrenders. Big Daddy V, Umaga, Morrison, and the Miz all exit the ring, while Shelton regains consciousness and stands up only to be leveled with Sweet Chin Music. Batista follows with a Batista Bomb. Rhodes and Murdoch hold up Benjamin while Reid motions for the veterans to enter the cage. Dusty Rhodes gives Benjamin a bionic elbow, and Steamboat gives him a hard chop. Windham delivers a DDT, and Anderson gives a Double A spinebuster. Now it is the moment everyone has been waiting for, Flair's turn. Murdoch and Rhodes hold up Benjamin, and Flair cuts a promo in his face letting him know that there will only be one true Nature Boy in the history of Professional Wrestling. No matter who claims the moniker, there is only one Ric Flair. Flair then calls Charlie Haas, Super Crazy, Colin Delaney, Kane, and Elijah Burke to the ring. Haas, Crazy, and Delaney all slap Benjamin. Burke gives him 4 Up. Kane delivers a chokeslam. The icing on the cake comes as Ric Flair hooks in the figure four leglock. His music hits and the 15 babyfaces exit together in celebration of the dismantling of the New Breed Horsemen.
Week 13: August 19 – August 26: ECW: CM Punk cashes in his Money in the Bank briefcase to defeat Shelton Benjamin for the ECW World Heavyweight Title.
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Friday, May 23, 2008
The Return of Wargames and a New Four Horsemen
Monday, December 10, 2007
My Top 10 Favorite Raw Moments
A lot has happened in the last 15 years, but Monday Night Raw is still around, and will most likely be around another 15 years from now. I'm looking forward to seeing what they end up doing for this, to see will become of the Evolution Reunion, to see if Carlito will win the Intercontinental Title as part of the agreement for him to stick around, to see the return of Sunny, to see what will most likely be the second coming of the Gimmick Battle Royal… WWE can easily bounce back from Thursday's ratings loss with a good number here. There's enough hype surrounding Raw tonight. Here's to hoping they deliver, and here's to hoping for one more feel good moment for Monday Night RAW...
Monday, November 26, 2007
For Lack of a More Creative Title: My Thoughts on Survivor Series
Three hours later, I would be very surprised at how much I enjoyed it, considering how disappointed I was with some of the previous PPVs I saw. As the show opened, I groaned at the fact that the ECW Title match was starting off the show… again. However, by the time it had ended I was more appreciative of the match that just took place, and even more appreciative of the decision to have it start the show. I was reminded at that time of a booking philosophy that a good friend of mine had... put the best match on paper (with the babyface going over) as the opener, regardless of its importance, to get the crowd hot and set the tone for the rest of the show. It certainly worked here, especially since a lot of people were expecting Punk to drop the belt back to Morrison. On a side note, with Punk surviving this match, the ECW/SD merger, and Morrison/Miz now Smackdown's Tag Champs, this should be a great opportunity for Punk to start a fresh new title program with someone from the Smackdown brand. My initial thought of a perfect candidate for this was Finlay, but later in the night those thoughts would seem to be fizzled out…
Next up was the Womens tag match. I won't complain because this was actually one match I had on my Survivor Series wishlist. Not because I was interested in seeing eye candy or because I thought it would be a blockbuster match, but because it made more sense booking-wise at this event than a Singles Match for the Womens Title. I don't think they could have done a better job with this (again, booking-wise) as each girl got to do their thing, it helped put over Mickie on her way to challenging Beth Phoenix for the Womens Title, and it didn't hurt Phoenix's credibility as Champion. It didn't drag out too long and it wasn't too short to lose it's meaning. I should mention, however, that Melina falling off of the ring apron during her entrance caused the bar to explode for their 2nd biggest pop of the night.
*Note* Apparently there was a nip slip courtesy of Michelle McCool in this match that I totally missed. Damnit...
The Tag Team Title Match was what it was. I would have rather seen Cade and Murdoch vs London and Kendrick, but this was something fresh that they hadn't put on a PPV already. The match was fine, but I don't Trevor Murdoch's version of the Code Red should be done by someone the size of Trevor Murdoch. I'm sorry, but it just doesn't look right. Trevor, either please go back to your trusty old Bulldog or just let Cade do his sweet sitout spinebuster (Note: I'm totally stealling that move.)
If anything, this is what I was anticipating the most… the Traditional Survivor Series Match. Why they couldn't give some other deserving babyface a PPV Payday by subbing them in place of Matt Hardy was beyond me. The match was pretty entertaining overall and I was actually quite surprised by the outcome. Perhaps this is the first step towards pushing Jeff Hardy as a legitimate Main Eventer and World Title Contender. Triple H's save for Hardy the next night on Raw helped solidify the fact that they're taking a step in the right direction by having one of the top stars giving a younger guy the rub.
I wasn't expecting much with Hornswoggle/The Great Khali, as I knew it was going to be a throwaway match. I actually found it pretty entertaining, and was rather surprised by the Finlay run in/save. I must admit, I think Finlay would make a pretty badass babyface. If anyone can carry Khali to a good match, it just might be him. I'm interested to see how this one develops.
Orton/Michaels was terrific. They told a great story with the stipulations, and the bar I was in ERUPTED when Michaels locked on that Crippler Crossface. I'm not sure if enough time has passed in the WWE's eyes, but maybe this will be the start of not trying to rewrite history by not mentioning He Who Shall Not Be Named.
Undertaker/Batista was good, but by that time I was burned out from sitting through a 3 hour Football game and 3 hour Wrestling show, and I just didn't care. The booking of the finish was pretty nice, with Edge getting involved, although I found it kind of odd that he singled out the Undertaker and NOT Batista. Perhaps laying them both out and letting the match go to a non-finish would have been the best thing to do given the match that's booked for Smackdown this week, but then again, what MORE could he have done to Batista at that point?
Now a week out of the PPV, there are several interesting storylines developed to carry us over until the Royal Rumble when the push for Wrestlemania really begins. On Raw there's the Hardy/HHH relationship and Y2J/Orton to look forward to. On Smackdown, there's the continued push of Jaime Noble and an interesting Main Event scene involving Batista, Edge, and The Undertaker. In the land of Extreme, you have the newly drafted Shelton Benjamin and repackaged Kevin Thorn as possible feuds for CM Punk. Things are starting to look positive for WWE, as they're freshening up their product a bit and making things appealing again.
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Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Time to Play the Game
I've been playing a lot of Smackdown vs. Raw 2007 lately. I run raw in General Manager mode. One of my struggles is to keep my roster up-to-date with WWE's current offering. I don't go through the trouble of creating guys that aren't there, but I do release guys that the WWE has actually released. The reason that this is a struggle is because anyone who is not on your brand is not yours to release and make unavailable. I have done a pretty good job however. Currently the only active wrestler on the game who has been released in real life is the recently released Chris Masters.
I assume that when WrestleMania occurs for the umpteenth time, I can acquire him and send him back to whence he came. I just completed another Royal Rumble. The Great Khali picked up the victory, but rather than beating 29 other men, he defeated 26. Why? Well, with WWE releasing so many guys in the past year, There just aren't enough guys to fill out the Rumble.
Smackdown vs. Raw 2008 came out yesterday, and as of this writing, I do not own it. The only thing I know for sure is that in the time between the last game and this one, WWE has gotten rid of a number of their SvR 2007 roster members. Aren't these guys supposed to be the cream of WWE's crop?
Well, if that's true, WWE should be in a lot worse shape than they are now. After all, these aren't just the scrubs that are no longer there. Former World Champions like Big Show, Booker T, Chris Benoit, Kurt Angle, and Rob Van Dam are among those who have departed since the last edition of the popular game. I would add JBL and Mick Foley to those names. JBL is no longer an active wrestler, and while I question Foley's addition as a regular roster member last year, it is without doubt that he hasn't stepped in the ring for a match anytime recently.
William Regal is another superstar who like JBL has strong WWE ties, but no longer serves a regular active in-ring role.
After these guys the biggest releases come from the Women's division. It's nothing impressive to be a former Women's Champion. Almost every WWE diva can lay claim to that title. Not every diva can claim to be Trish Stratus or Lita however. These two women revolutionized WWE women's wrestling.
The rest of the releases are made up of a lot of guys who frankly never really would have meant much. The only member of the list that I could have ever imagined with a World Title reign would have been Chris Masters. Unfortunately, he was unable to deal with the pressures of his gimmick in relation to the WWE Wellness Policy.
The other guys who have left WWE television include Daivari, Joey Mercury, Kid Kash, Paul Burchill, Psicosis, and Vito.
With rumors that Carlito may be the next on his way out the door, the prospects of me filling a Royal Rumble ring on SvR 2007 looks even bleaker.
The outlook for SvR 2008 isn't much better. Chris Masters, King Booker, JTG, Marquis Cor Von, The Sandman, Shad and Sabu have already been released and the game just came out. Again, William Regal is serving in a non-wrestling role. Who knows who will still be around by the 2009 edition? By the time I pick it up for Christmas, I may already be unable to have a true Royal Rumble.
That's ok with me though. I have a ways to go with Smackdown vs. Raw 07. After all, my video game is about the only place in wrestling that can boast a hot tag team division. DX, The Brothers of Destruction, Finlay and Regal, and Cade and Murdoch aren't too shabby. Add occasional appearances from Rated-RKO, Umaga and the Great Khali, and John Cena and Batista, and you'd swear it was 1989 when it comes to the depth of tag teams who are actually over.
For those who are curious, my full roster currently consists of Batista, Edge, Finlay, Khali, Cena, Nitro and Melina, Kane, Ken Kennedy, Lance Cade, Randy Orton, Rey Mysterio, Ric Flair, Shawn Michaels, Shelton Benjamin, Trevor Murdoch, Triple H, Umaga, The Undertaker, and William Regal. Yeah, I know. I'm stacked!
So if the World were perfect and WWE released Smackdown vs. Raw 2008 tommorow, who should be on the active roster?
Last years game included 44 active wrestlers. Assuming that the game is continually getting better, let's add six.
1. Shelton Benjamin
2. Lance Cade
3. Carlito
4. Charlie Haas
5. Jeff Hardy
6. Brian Kendrick
7. Mr. Kennedy
8. Santino Marella
9. Paul London
10. Shawn Michaels
11. Trevor Murdoch
12. Randy Orton
13. Cody Rhodes
14. Snitsky
15. Triple H
16. Umaga
17. Chris Jericho (Unlockable)
18. John Cena
19. Bobby Lashley
20. DH Smith
21. Val Venis
22. Batista
23. Deuce
24. Domino
25. Kenny Dykstra
26. Finlay
27. The Great Khali
28. Matt Hardy
29. Mark Henry
30. Kane
31. Rey Mysterio
32. Jamie Noble
33. Chuck Palumbo
34. MVP
35. The Undertaker
36. Jimmy Wang Yang
37. Edge
38. Ric Flair
39. Chavo Guerrero
40. Gregory Helms
41. Big Daddy V
42. Elijah Burke
43. CM Punk
44. Tommy Dreamer
45. John Morrison
46. The Miz
47. The Boogeyman
48. Stevie Richards
49. Matt Striker
50. Kevin Thorn
The last game included seven divas. If we can get the number up to ten, WWE should include:
1. Jillian Hall
2. Mickie James
3. Maria
4. Melina
5. Beth Phoenix
6. Candice Michelle
7. Michelle McCool
8. Victoria
9. Torrie Wilson
10. Kelly Kelly
The last game included 16 legends. Let's bump to 20:
1. Hulk Hogan
2. Randy Savage
3. Bret Hart
4. Steve Austin
5. The Rock
6. Arn Anderson
7. Ricky Steamboat
8. Ted Dibiase
9. Barry Windham
10. Andre the Giant
11. The Ultimate Warrior
12. Jake "The Snake" Roberts
13. Vader
14. Yokozuna
15. Mr. Perfect
16. Ax
17. Smash
18. Sid
19. Owen Hart
20. Razor Ramon
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Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Jericho Debuts... In My Mailbox
Today when I opened my mailbox, the biggest angle of 2007 layed inside. I wouldn't call it a spoiler, because it only confirmed what we already knew. Chris Jericho has returned to the WWE.
In the magazine he cites John Cena and Shawn Michaels as reasons he wanted to return. He also mentions wrestling at Lance Storm's Academy to shake off the ring rust, as well as having a new finisher which did not debut in my mailbox.
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Saturday, November 10, 2007
Weight Classes Could Help Drug Problem in Wrestling
I do not think the average person understands how difficult it is for a person to weigh in over 200 lbs. on a six foot frame and have a low body fat percentage. There is a reason that people that have body types like that are on the covers of magazines and can make good money with such a physique - it is not common. And, while having the talent to become a WWE star is not common either, proficiency at a sport does not necessarily require the physique of a Greek god. Look at the sport of football. Big beefy offensive linemen are often promoted as being complete pigs because of their physique. Hell, football players like Mike Golic have even made careers after their playing days on the idea that linemen are eating machines. I’m sure everyone has heard a story about a local pro, college, or even high school team’s linemen going to some kind of buffet and being asked to leave after eating plate upon plate of food. In the NFL, these guys are athletes of the highest magnitude, and weigh an average of 285 lbs. I ask you to take a look at your favorite NFL team next Sunday. How many of those players look as “ripped” as the WWE wrestlers? How many of them are built like bodybuilders? These guys are of the same height and weight as required by the WWE and are some of the highest paid athletes on the planet. They are required to be in the best possible physical condition to compete at the highest level of their sport. According to people that I have spoken to that have been to places like OVW, or that have been scouted by Vince McMahon’s World Wrestling Entertainment, Inc., the only major wrestling promotion in the United States is not interested in any wrestlers who are under 250 pounds, and under 6’2” tall. In addition to those minimum requirements, they expect their wrestlers to have “the look”. “The Look” is a catch-all term meaning “the look of a bodybuilder”. Chris Masters is a great example of this. This is a guy that, from the outside looking in, was not a great wrestler. The WWE even promoted him as having the body of a Greek god – thus he was branded “The Masterpiece”. Outside pressures (such as wrestlers dying and/or murdering their families) forced the WWE to start testing its competitors for steroids and other performance enhancing drugs and illegal narcotics such as marijuana. Suddenly, Masters found himself suspended. Then, he was ridiculed on television for losing weight while not taking the banned substances. It should be no surprise then that he failed another test, and was suspended again shortly after gaining most of his muscle mass back. Last week, Masters was suspended yet again, and then released. No where did we hear any reports about McMahon or the WWE putting Masters into a drug counseling program, or the FBI or ATF questioning him about where he was getting these substances. This kid was chewed up and spit out by the WWE machine simply because he had “the look” and they required him to maintain this look. Afterall, wrestling skill was not important. I am willing to bet that there are about 25 wrestlers who had a fair amount of publicity and reputation that, if they had debuted in the WWE in 2005, could have gained a fan following and drawn more money for the company than Masters. But, they were not winners of amateur bodybuilding contests like Masters. Nor were they all over six feet tall. Simply put, the WWE does not hire the best wrestlers in the world; they hire people who look like models. Alex Rodriguez is poised to become the highest paid athlete in the planet, and I guarantee that not one team that is thinking of signing him has debated whether or not he has “the look” of a baseball player. No, A-Rod can prove all he needs to with a look at his stats. If he looks nice in his underwear, maybe he can pick up modeling work endorsing… underwear. Charles Barkley was always known as the “Round Mound of Rebound” because he was pudgy. Barkley also was a multiple time all-star and is on his way to the hall of fame because he could play basketball. Not because he had six pack abs. So, why is having “the look” so important in wrestling? A look that, simply put, is not natural. According to the American Heart Lung and Blood Institute, a person who is 6’2” and 250 lbs is obese. A person of that size would have a Body Mass Index of 32.1 – 2.1 points over the obesity threshold. While the ignorant masses watching RAW every Monday may look at stars such as John Cena and think that this is what an athlete is supposed to look like, it is actually the exact opposite. Looking like what the WWE wants is unhealthy. I think there is a simple solution to all of this: weight classes. The hottest fighting sport in the world right now is the Ultimate Fighting Championships. UFC is destroying the WWE when it comes to pay-per-view. UFC PPV events average about 400,000 buys – and they now take place on a monthly basis. While they may not generate the television revenue that WWE does, UFC sells nearly double what WWE does on PPV. When you ask people to name UFC stars they will often name Chuck Liddell, Randy Couture, Quinton Jackson, Rich Franklin, and Ken Shamrock. Except for Couture, none of those men fight as heavyweights for UFC. And Couture has fought most of his career as both a heavyweight, and a light heavyweight. So, if no one wants to see average size people fight, why is UFC destroying WWE at the PPV box office? While there are a variety of factors why UFC may be a booming business, my argument is that the size of the competitor is not one of them. Vince McMahon and people of his same train of thought will tell you that people will not pay to see “small” wrestlers because they want to be entertained by “larger than life characters”. That mentality comes from the fact that for years, the most prestigious title in all of sports was the Heavyweight Champion of the World. In Boxing. Why was it prestigious? Because the heavyweight division had characters like John L. Sullivan, Jack Johnson, Rocky Marciano, Muhammad Ali, George Foreman, Joe Frazier, and many, many more. These were all first class athletes, sure. They also were first class personalities. Guys like Jerry Cooney may have been good fighters, but they had no personality, so they were not stars. Roy Jones, Ray Leonard, Shane Mosley, Oscar de la Hoya – these guys are stars too because they had personality – despite not being heavyweights. The WWE machine is about creating and branding a “personality”, rather than letting an athlete’s real personality shine thru. The territory days and the studio style of promo have gone away in favor of the WWE telling someone what their personality is. The WWE does not sign the best personalities it can find, they go for the bodies that define what wrestling should be to Vince McMahon. What UFC has done is find a formula for promoting the personalities of their fighters in a way the WWE no longer does. UFC has press conferences, interviews with legitimate media outlets, and lets their fighters be themselves on their television shows such as “The Ultimate Fighter”. UFC has promoted their heavyweights as hard hitting and their smaller fighters as quick and exciting. Guys weighing in at 170lbs and standing 6’5” is not as uncommon as you might think. Heavyweights weighing in at 265 lbs and not having ripped six pack abs are the norm. Hell, guys like Chuck Liddell even get over with the fans because their bodies are more like a “working man”. UFC shows the monster eight hour workouts that guys like Tito Ortiz put themselves thru – and you see that Ortiz isn’t as ripped as Chris Masters. Ortiz trains to fight. Vince McMahon seems to have forgotten that is what is supposed to be going on in the ring – a fight. “Weight Class” is a dirty phrase in wrestling. Everyone wants to be heavyweight champ, not a “junior” champ. Well, at least in the United States. Other than when WCW promoted the Cruiserweight Division in the late 1990’s, no major promotion in the US has given non-heavyweights a forum to get over a different style of ring work. In Japan, maybe you could debate if it was more prestigious to be the IWGP Heavyweight or Junior Heavyweight Champion in New Japan. In Mexico, the most prestigious championships are the CMLL and NWA Light Heavyweight Championships. In UFC, the division where the big money marquee matches are is the Light Heavyweight. Two guys under 200 lbs. fighting for a title can draw 20,000 paying fans to an arena in Japan, Mexico, and the US – but not for the WWE. Or so says Vince McMahon. Currently, the WWE has three different heavyweight championships. They have zero singles championships for non-heavyweights (or did you not notice that the Cruiserweight Championship disappeared after Hornswaggle won it?). Is it even at all possible to conceive that there are not enough wrestlers out there less than 200 lbs. for the largest wrestling company in the world to put together a division for them, but they have so many good heavyweights that they put together three different divisions for them? Maybe the WWE product would become less stale, fewer wrestlers would die, and ratings and buyrates would increase if the WWE actually promoted wrestling by athletes instead of crappy acting by bodybuilders. I’m not even going to get into tag teams, as that could be another topic completely (Hmmm… next week’s blog topic?!?), but you cannot tell me that the prospect of a card with three big title matches consisting of Batista/Undertaker, Hardy/MVP and Morrison/Punk would draw worse then anything they do now – because that is the same damn thing they are pushing now. The difference is that by introducing titles for different weight classes, you keep wrestlers healthy, and you have to bring something to that weight class to get a shot in the first place. Bigger isn’t always better. Just ask Chris Masters.
When you turn on the television to watch wrestling, what do you see? Big beefy bodies usually. Tall, muscular heavyweight wrestlers are the rule of thumb in wrestling, for a variety of reasons.
Not to look like they are in the top condition to compete at the highest level.
Here is what the WWE could do:
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Why We Watch...
I distinctly remember the beginning of my relationship with professional wrestling. I was taking advantage of the opportunity that having a babysitter gives you. Long past my bedtime, I was sitting on the couch in my pajamas. With a tootsie pop in my mouth, I flipped the channel to Saturday Night's Main Event. I saw Hulk Hogan and Randy "Macho Man" Savage and it was as if He-Man had become real. The fuse was ignited that night that would eventually make the MegaPowers explode at that year's WrestleMania. During a match with the Twin Towers, Savage was tossed violently into Elizabeth. Hogan went to the back to help her, leaving Savage alone to face Akeem and the Bossman. I thought back then that if I only had a few minutes with Hogan and Savage I could help them squash their beef. Twenty years later, I still feel that way.
Sooner than later I found the National Wrestling Alliance/World Championship Wrestling on TV. I remember being amazed watching an I Quit match between Terry Funk and Ric Flair on free TV at the Clash of the Champions.
I loved the main events, but I always had an eye towards the midcard. It always seemed to be the case that I would find a cool heel to enjoy just up until they turned him babyface and the whole world loved him. Examples of this were Shawn Michaels and The Rock. About the only heel that didn't lose something when he became top mainstream babyface was John Cena, and that's cause half the fans still hated him always.
There is something special about feeling ownership of a wrestler, and I'd argue that that is why we watch. Remembering Bret Hart's days in the Hart Foundation or Steve Austin's days in the Dangerous Alliance make it that much sweeter when they meet as major stars at WrestleMania 13.
Today I look at Shelton Benjamin and Elijah Burke with the same anticipation I have previously looked at Brian Pillman, Randy Orton, Buff Bagwell, and Droz with. Of course sometimes it works out, and sometimes it doesn't.
Still, it's hard not to be cynical when you can think fondly on the old days and imagine Hulk Hogan, Ric Flair, Randy Savage, Sting, The Ultimate Warrior, Rick Rude, Vader, Jake Roberts, Arn Anderson, Ted Dibiase, and others at their peak.
It's also difficult to remember tag teams like Demolition, the Road Warriors, The Rockers, Doom, The Skyscrapers, the Midnight Express, and so many more and not long for them.
Even the days when WCCW, USWA, or GWF would come on ESPN on Wednesday afternoons bring some nostalgia.
By comparison when you compare today's wrestling atmosphere to all the memories of the past 20 years, it just doesn't compare. Still, we watch…
We watch because we are waiting for the next big breakthrough. Will it be Mr. Kennedy? Will it be Jeff Hardy? Only time will tell.
We watch because some of those larger than life characters we remember are still around like the Undertaker and Shawn Michaels, and they have been intertwined with those we've learned to care about in the meantime like Edge, Triple H, and Rey Mysterio.
We watch because even though we aren't likely to see a big interesting defection the way we did during the old WCW/WWE days, we can still mark out months after waiting for Chris Jericho to return on TV, because that moment when he does will undoubtedly be incredible.
We watch because Cody Rhodes and DH Hart keep us grounded and remind us where we came from. We watch because new generation stars like AJ Styles and Christopher Daniels show us where we are going.
We watch because every week Jay Lethal or Santino Marella is going to do that little something extra that makes us smile.
No matter how disillusioned we get with what wrestling is and no matter how much better we think it could be, we watch.
Now I am certainly not going to sit in any bleachers and cry that it's still real to me, damnit. I am not sure that it ever was real to me. It was larger than life.
A few weeks ago I sat at a local Indy show in the bleachers about to cry because the first half of the show was incredibly bad. It picked up though, and by the end I felt I had gotten my money's worth.
In a time where the most newsworthy wrestling happenings involved Candice Michelle falling on her face, I struggle to write, but I refuse to just dump on the product.
Is it easy to come up with anti-WWE and anti-TNA banter? Of course. Right now I probably like wrestling less than I have at any point in the past 20 years, but still I watch.
Professional wrestling seems to have cast a weird spell over thousands. It's one that those who aren't under will never understand. Those of use who are don't even get it sometimes.
Maybe I will never get the wrestling show I wish for until I get to heaven. I assume that at 25 years old, by the time I get there all my favorites will be there with me.
Rest In Peace to all the former warriors of the squared circle. Your contributions are why we are here today. You are fondly remembered and greatly missed.
The Outcast, the Legend, the Wolf is back for another opinionated commentary:
When I first read the teaser to your current column, I thought that Vince had fired the fans again, but then I wondered, how can you fire someone that you haven't paid, have constantly berated for being wrong, whom you've constantly given one thing when they've been asking for something completely different, who have seen your ass more times than they've seen Jenna Haze's (and seeing as most of the core fans are teenage boys with internet service, that's a lot of times!) and with everything that you've done they keep coming back for more as if the cookies on this side of the fence are better.
But since the column isn't about US getting fired, I'll talk about the guys that you mention while I keep checking the mail box for that check from Vince (hell, with all the ideas that he's stolen from the internet, I'm shocked that he hasn't sent out a check, and that he keeps shutting down e-feds. they're a gold mine to him!)
Seeing Teddy Hart get the axe is SOOOOOOOOOOO Shocking to me (did I lay on the sarcasm enough? Ya think so? Ok, moving on) why do people keep signing this guy? (quick check on the last name and ok, I guess we know!) Ya think if Kid Kash were Kid Hart that he'd get that many chances? Exactly. I say, let the guy rot in the independents until he gets his desire, energy, and a respect for the business that he is riding the coattails of. If he ever grows up and stops using his name as a springboard then things might turn up better. If he does not, then he'll be the worst Hart ever (Including Bruce. C'mon, he might have been all right in the ring, but he had the personality of a cheese-it!).
To Ryan O'Reilly and Krissy Vaine I have this to say: HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! You two are the dumbest mutha f*ckas on the planet! You wait until you get called up to leave the company? If you two are really in love, suck it up (once again this is a FAMILY show, so minds out of the gutter) and deal with it. You obviously don't care about the business if you are ready to leave the biggest company around so that you can be close to each other. Hell, one Sunday a month you'll be in the same building, and that right there is more than I see my wife sometimes AND WE LIVE TOGETHER! Go to TNA where you'll be two more people who don't get any face time and wonder why you chose love over the passion for the business that brought you both together. See what happens if you two don't last. You won't get another chance that easily!
As far as Daivari is concerned, the guy lasted longer than I ever expected one they bailed out on the whole Hassan thing (although if they put them on Raw and run with it, they would've been KILLER heels) he had a decent run, made what I'm sure is a decent amount of money and I'm sure had a blast for the most part living his dream (unlike Hollywood Hassan who seemed to only want fame!) Good Luck to him, although he'll need a little bit of a gimmick change.
Now for the release you've all been waiting for me to comment on, King BOOKA And Queen Sharmell! For someone who gave everything he had for the last zillion years or so, did everything that he was asked since he's been apart of the WWEmpire, they treated him like crap the entire time, and he didn't deserve it! Should he get a title run on his way out of the door? No, but a nice send off would be better than "The WWE has come to terms with..." It's insulting to him and anyone who is a fan of his. But then again, something tells me that if Shane pissed off Vince enough (We all know that Steph couldn't possibly piss him off, so it'll have to be Shane) then the only thing we'd see is "The WWE has come to terms with the contractual release of one Shane O' Mac. We wish him well in all future endeavors." All kidding aside, if Book wasn't so closely linked to WCW his send off would be much more celebrated, no matter what. Just look at how many times Hogan's gotten the warm send off, and Vince HATES him now! Not that Book was ever at Hogan or Flair levels, but you get the idea. All in all, I hope that TNA gives him a short, midcard send off for a couple of months, and he beats someone like Christian Cage or Scott Steiner in his "final" "big two/three/four" match.
Then again, knowing TNA, they'll sign him and (Points thumbs at himself) R...V...D! And recreate the most misused and misguided tag teams in the history of wrestling. RVD and Booker should've never been a team. That's almost as dumb as X-Pac and Kane!
I agree Wolf. X-Pac and Kane were a horrible tag team. Here, watch the greatest tag team of all time in the match that made me a wrestling fan.
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Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Transaction Reaction
Professional wrestling is in such a strange place right now. WWE spent the first half of the year convincing Raw fans that John Cena and Bobby Lashley are where it's at. Now, neither are on television.
It's interesting to me that in the aftermath of the WWE banning certain piledrivers, powerbombs, and other high-risk maneuvers that we have seen more injuries to main event caliber wrestlers at one time than I can ever remember before. Add The Undertaker, Edge, Shawn Michaels, Triple H, Ken Kennedy, King Booker, and Rey Mysterio to the list of top-level guys who have spent time on the shelf this year. Can we begin to assume that those moves weren't the problem?
With rumors of Chris Jericho's return whirling around the internet, some fans may have missed some noteworthy transactions that happened this week.
Fans eager to see the new Hart Foundation debut on Smackdown were certainly disappointed to find that Teddy Hart had been released. I am surprised that the group made it that far. It is well known that Hart has an attitude problem. Now many fans are wondering where this leaves Harry Smith, Nattie Neidhardt, TJ Wilson and Ted Dibiase Jr. Smith has a tremendous upside, and it's almost unbelievable that WWE couldn't find something for him in the aftermath of Hart's release.
In what I would consider lesser developmental news, Robert Gibson was released from his position as a trainer in OVW. Gibson is best remembered as the ugly member of the Rock N' Roll Express. I personally have always found this team to be incredibly overrated. Don't get me wrong, it's a decent enough gimmick and both guys can work. There is just something that never clicked with me when watching Morton and Gibson. With TNA using teams like the Steiner Brothers, there may be a new way to fly for this duo. It's highly doubtful, however.
While Hart and Gibson were being fired, Ryan O'Reilly and Krissy Vaine decided to quit. Many are scrutinizing the decision of these two young lovers to forgo their WWE contracts. Deny thy McMahon and refuse thy brand, they will no longer be WWE superstars. Does true love trump the greatest opportunity of their professional careers? Sure. If it really were true love, would they have made it through? Undoubtedly. WWE love and WWE contracts seem to be lasting about the same length of time these days. If I were these two, I would have sucked it up. Oh well…
Then at the eleventh hour, WWE announces the releases of Daivari, King Booker, and Queen Sharmell. Now it is no secret that Booker T has long been one of my favorite wrestlers. It's hard to mourn for him however, because there was simply no place for him on the Raw brand. I'd rather see him leave on his terms than be misused for another number of years. The biggest shame is that Booker has been teasing retirement for years now, and he will never get his proper sendoff. Well, I guess that in wrestling I should never say never.
Somewhere in the midst of all these releases, TNA put on their biggest show of the year. Former WWE tag team champion Joey Matthews debuted before the show, and I can only hope that King Booker will follow in his footsteps.
I haven't seen the show, but I've heard nothing but good things. TNA's webpage was down for days in the show's aftermath.
I haven't talked much on TNA lately other than to say that I thought their 2 hour debut was miserable. I stand by that. However, I will say Total Nonstop Action has a lot to be excited about.
First off, LAX is one of the most badass tag teams I have seen in a long time. I loved their run as heels with Konnan as their mouthpiece, and I think they can be just as exciting as faces as long as they aren't tampered with too much. When the tag belts are back on the waists of these guys, a lot will be right in the world of TNA.
For those who are familiar with me, it is no secret that my favorite wrestler of all time is Randy "Macho Man" Savage. Those who would expect me to dislike Jay Lethal's Black Machismo character are dead wrong. It's amazing. The thing that makes Jay so likable is his attention to detail and commitment to the character. TNA made the right decision keeping him the X division champion. He adds a great deal of flare.
Sting winning the TNA World Heavyweight title was certainly the right decision. It set this show apart from your regular monthly TNA PPV and refreshed the whole product. I can only hope that his long awaited feud with Christopher Daniels can come to fruition and be done correctly, but I know better than to hold my breath and wait for that.
TNA has so much talent that I genuinely care about doing things I couldn't care less about. I would love to see the TNA creative team figure out what to do with AJ Styles, Ron Killings, Robert Roode, and Christopher Daniels to really make some money. Hell, I am really digging the whole Steiner's reunion. Is it being done to the fullest? I guess that is arguable.
One thing TNA seems to be doing better than anyone right now is promoting Women's wrestling. That's saying something considering that they have been doing it for only about a week. I watched that Women's gauntlet on Youtube, and I really appreciated the character development and most of the booking decisions. My only real gripe is with the treatment of Traci Brooks. She should be TNA's bread and butter. Maybe I only say that because I am in love with her.
One of the biggest news pieces out of Bound for Glory was that Kurt Angle tried a 450 splash. If at first you don't succeed, do yourself a favor and don't try again Kurt. It was a step above Brock Lesnar's shooting star press, but if I were Kurt I'd stick with the moonsault. Can't fault a guy for trying though.
Last week, I suggested that WWE fans push for Mr. Kennedy for Cyber Sunday. In reality, I was asking for anyone other than HBK. Do I have something against Shawn? Not really. I just want to see some other guys get a chance to shine. It's like knowing Chris Daughtry is going to get a record deal and voting for Taylor Hicks instead. Well, needless to say, I got some feedback.
David Missio decided that he would love to tear me a whole new one…
First of all, I agree with your point on the big gold belt. The bling belt makes no sense around Orton's (or HHH 's or Michaels' or Jericho's) waist and it would be nice to see a reversion to the more
standard, "classic" belt of the past.
In regards to your stance on the Cyber Sunday vote (Kennedy vs Michaels), I have to say that you're completely off base and quite foolish at that. Quite simply, Michaels versus Orton is the better match, and fans should be voting for the match they want to see, not some "send a message" bullshit that you seem to think would have an effect on long term booking. This is akin to all of those morons who claim that they'll never watch wrestling again each time WWE does something they disagree with to "send a message" to Vince and Co. Stop worrying about any semblance of active involvement you have, stop
worrying about sending a message to top brass, and stop worrying about trying to force a minority opinion. The bottom line is that Randy v Shawn makes sense, will be good and deserves to be voted for... besides which, from a storyline perspective, Kennedy and Orton might put on a good to very good match but there would be very little heat to it, unlike the Michaels/Orton bout. Have some perspective and take off your IWC blinders now and then.
Travis Bucklaschuk sent the following perspective:
After reading your column I have to disagree with voting for Kennedy. I really feel he has no right to be in the title picture due to just being back from suspension. Why should we vote for a guy who has damaged the credibility (what it had left) of the company he worked for? I don't particularly care about his wellness violation, but to go on air and run your mouth about how you don't touch any illegal substances, and then to get caught. I feel be needs to stay away from the Main-Event scene really.
Now as for voting in someone younger, I'm all for voting in Jeff Hardy. Sure he has violated the wellness policy, but the guy has never made the WWE look bad like Kennedy did, and it would be quite the throwback to old when the Intercontinental Title meant you had the right for a World Title shot. So really, I'd vote for him over Kennedy and Michaels. After all from the reaction of the crowd, this guy is almost as over as Michaels and Hunter, if not just as over. Wouldn't that be something worth cashing in on?
On a bit of a humorous note, Randy Orton had quite the first WWE title reign didn't he? What was it, five-to-ten minutes long? Well at least he can claim himself as a 3-Time World Champion.
One of my favorite personalities "The Wolf" gave me some more feedback as well
I totally agree with you that a belt change is in order. Vince says that he doesn't want to go the personalization route again even threatening or actually (It's Khali vs Batista forgive me for not paying too much attention to the SD title!) taking away the name plate from the old WCW title was a genus move (has anyone ever thought about that? Maybe Vince is ashamed of Khali even holding the belt. (But then again, Vince has no issue showing off his 60 year old ass on the highest rated basic cable show in the land, so why would he be ashamed of his World Champ? Oh yeah Khali!) Like Vince can't afford to change the title a little bit to match the character? He gave one to Edge (for a couple of days before he jobbed to Cena AGAIN!)
And how about the choices for the WWE Championship match? we've got the choice of a Jesus Freak near retirement (nothing wrong with that, but I don't think that the key demographic of teenage boys really wants to be preached at) and two druggies to choose from. I think it's telling of exactly how tough the 'E is going to be on the abusers when they give a guy whose (ALEGEDLY!!!) already been fired for a Wellness related issue TWICE (well, the first time was before the plan existed, but he was still fired for being a DRUG FUELED FREAK!). Also, the man whose either really got bad luck or is the dumbest man on the planet gets to see if he can take a run for the gold. This gets my brain working. Vince has been trying to push Echo man, since he first dropped his mic (hey now this is a family show!!) and now he's got the chance to prove that he's over by setting up what looks to be an obviously rigged "cyber poll" (god I just felt dirty typing the term "Cyber Poll" i think i need to shower! Wait, I thought Fienstien ran ROH?) So I see things this way: VINCE WANTS YOU TO VOTE KENNEDY.....Kennedy. Does anyone really think that Jeff's really going to get many votes going up against the Born Again former champion and the Golden McMahon (Uh, I mean the one who was supposed to before he opened up a box full of sterriods!) who Vince has a hard on for? (Wait, are you sure that Kennedy's NOT Vince's son? He did want to run an angle saying his granddaughter was his daughter!)
But all (or most) sarcasm aside, I'm actually a fan of Mrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.... Kennedy...............................Kennedy (Even if i can prove that the whole gimmick was STOLEN from me when I was in an E-Fed!!) and I'd love to see him get a title shot. I'm actually thinking that out of the three choices he's the most likely to walk out of Cyber Sunday as the champ. But then again, I want to run a fed where one of my big storylines revolves around Zach Gowin being able to beat The Big Show, so who knows if I'm right about ANYTHING! Keep up the good work and I'll bombard you with sarcasm again!
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Tuesday, October 09, 2007
Vote for MISTTTTTTTEEEEEERRRR KENNEDY...
Kennedy!
The main event for Cyber Sunday was announced on WWE.com today, and rather than a Randy Orton showdown with either Triple H or HBK with fans picking the stipulations, they can now choose Orton's opponent between Shawn Michaels, Jeff Hardy, and Ken Kennedy. After last night's Raw, fans should vote for Kennedy, and here is why...
John Cena's injury sure has shaken things up a little bit. Does anyone else think that the current title belt should go back on the shelf for a while? The belt Orton currently holds is in the style of the John Cena spinner belt, but alas it does not spin. Still, it looks like a fly peice of bling bling. Cena himself hasn't done the rap stuff for years. Why should Orton not revert back to the "undisputed" style WWE title? I personally would love to see the winged eagle belt return.
Speaking of belts and birds, how about Beth Phoenix. Without doubt she is something to get excited about. PWP writer Daron Smythe has defeated Beth Phoenix via pinfall, and I've heard that he is arguing that he is next in line for a shot at the Glamazon. Good luck with that buddy. Either way, they are working her gimmick to perfection, and finally there is some good women's wrestling back on Raw. I thought when Trish left and Victoria switched brands that we may never see that again. Stupid ass Diva search...
To the Diva search's credit, I actually do enjoy Maria and Candice. While neither of them won that competition, they are products of it. That makes it about as lucrative as Tough Enough, who's pride and joy is former ECW champion John Morrison.
I would say that right now it appears that in order of in ring ability, Victoria remains tops. Right behind her are Mickie James, Beth Phoenix, and Melina. The next level includes your Jillian Hall's and Candice Michelle's, and at the bottom are Maria, Torrie Wilson, and some other nameless worthless bimbos.
Santino Marella continues to benefit from the upswing of not actually ever wrestling a match. His mic work has been histerical for weeks now. Too bad that after Val Venis won an internet poll stating that fans would rather see him as the World Champion than anyone else on the roster, he is doing job duty yet again.
Still, it was nice to see him receive face time rather than ubershitty wrestling personality Hardcore Holly. What type of world is it where the WWE brass see more value in Holly than Venis? Holly has a stupid face, buckteeth, a dumb redneck accent, nothing interesting to say, and is perhaps the most boring wrestler WWE has had in the past 10 years.
He makes Snitsky look like The Rock by comparison. Oh, that's right. Snitsky returned to Raw last night to face Val Venis. Daron Smythe has also wrestled Snitsky, but I am not sure of the result. I wonder if Snitsky had as much bacne then. It's horrible now, which makes me wonder if he stopped taking whatever he was taking when he got his wellness suspension in the first place. Those white lights during his entrance served to make this dude look extra ugly. Still, they are working his ugliness to perfection. Even his in ring work is ugly, but in a way that works for him.
The Bushwhackers 2.0 actually wrestled on Raw last night which makes a few dudes who saw them on the Ontario indy scene happy. Cousin Robbie and Cousin Rory whoa'd and yay'd their way down to the ring with arms swinging for their contest with London and Kendrick. They even stopped to lick a face along the way. Gross...
Anyways, some smart mark buttholes are begging that WWE takes the "handcuffs" off these two and let them show the world what they can do. I'd argue that just about every single wrestler on the WWE roster has the ability to compete at a higher level than they do on a weekly basis on Raw, but WWE has handcuffs on pretty much everyone.
Now what pisses me off is, these are the same people screaming about how terrible John Cena is. How many freaking t-shirts are the Highlanders ever going to sell? I'll tell you, 3000, because that's how many dudes that like wrestling are named Robbie, and will by a shirt that reads: "I'm Robbie!" It's just assinine to me to give these dudes a free pass, but come down on John Cena every week for two plus years.
Now to the beginnings of the WWE title picture. If you are living behind one of Umaga's ass cheeks or all three of Big Daddy V's breasts, you may have missed that that Randy Orton was awarded the WWE title at No Mercy, Triple H defeated him for it, Triple H defended it against Umaga, and then Triple H lost it back to Orton.
Now, many voted Randy Orton the wrestler of the week for the accomplishment of being the last man standing. I would argue that Triple H defeating Umaga and Orton before losing to Orton is a far more impressive feat. Still, I hate Triple H and everything he stands for.
On Raw, he squared off in a handicapped match against both Orton and Umaga. Finally, under the circumstances that he had wrestled three times the night before and was taking on Raw's two biggest heels, Triple H took a freaking beat down. Umaga got a measure of revenge on Triple H for his heelish and unwarranted sledgehammer attacks from months back. All the while Jim Ross screamed at how unecesseary it was for Umaga to rip Triple H apart with his bare hands. Funny how months ago, he popped a raging bbq sauce boner for Triple H beating the shit out of Umaga with a deadly weapon.
Triple H refused medical attention to walk to the back, because he is so bad ass. Remember, this is the dude that got dropped from a car by a crane and wrestled the next week. Last year, Vince McMahon bludgeoned him with a lead pipe, and while Shawn Michaels lay on the mat out cold, Triple H crawled around and attempted to get back up. The dude is a cyborg.
Anyway, the good thing to come out of the whole beatdown was that Triple H got taken out of the WWE title picture. Who got put in in his place? Skinner. Yes that's right folks, Steve Keirn returned to Raw, and apparantely he has kicked that awful tobacco habit. Wait.. Wha? That was Shawn Michaels? No way...
Ok, apparantely Shawn Michaels returned and not Skinner. Wow, totally fooled me. Anyways, now Michaels, Kennedy, and Jeff Hardy will be contending for our votes to face Orton for John Cena's title (I will refer to it as such until the belt design changes).
Now Kennedy has done relatively nothing good since he got on Raw, which has basically killed all his momentum. He jobbed to Super Crazy, was supposed to have killed Mr. McMahon kayfabe until Chris Benoit killed his family shoot, took a wellness suspension that stopped him from being Mr. Kennedy McMahon which I maintain was a blessing rather than a curse, and now he is losing in non-title matches to the guy with the gayest nickname in wrestlng history.
Somehow this has put him in line for a World title shot. Well, we Ken Kennedy fans will take it, because it's about time we had something to be excited about. The best part, the vote is in our hands. Now, I know Shawn Michaels just came back and we are excited to see him dance around and do his JESUS YEAH! entrance pose, but we KNOW that Shawn Michaels will be in the World Title picture and get his match with Orton. Why not make a statement by voting for Ken Kennedy? Of course, this assuming that all of Cyber Sunday isn't a worked fan vote anyway, which it most likely is.
The Triple H/Umaga match logically will get the fans choose the stipulation vote, as it is the only feud on the Raw brand right now with the steam to warrant it. Quite frankly, no one has enough heat to be with Orton in the Cell, no matter how good the match could be.
If you don't live in Mexico and you buy Lilian Garcia's album, may God have mercy on your soul. Go buy Macho Man's album "Be a Man" instead. At least it has long term comedic value.
If you don't vote for Kennedy for Cyber Sunday, I just don't understand. I have been trying to rally you for weeks. It's time to push the new faces of the WWE. Every single time we refuse to let go of the old, we end up in the same old funk. The business does not have to be cyclical. We could vote for Shawn Michaels and he can retire next year, or we can vote for Mr. Kennedy and build towards our future.
If you don't vote for Mr. Kennedy, you are as stupid as TNA for being in talks with malignant locker room cancer Kid Kash. I mean seriously, the guy has no draw value. If you are going to sign a trouble maker, at least sign a guy like Sid, Scott Hall, or try again with the Macho Man. At least there will be some return for your headaches.
Oh, and by the way TNA, your 2 hour Impact premier was terrible to watch, and I hate you for it, because you made one of my best writers, Chris Scott uninterested in coming to work.
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