I've been playing a lot of Smackdown vs. Raw 2007 lately. I run raw in General Manager mode. One of my struggles is to keep my roster up-to-date with WWE's current offering. I don't go through the trouble of creating guys that aren't there, but I do release guys that the WWE has actually released. The reason that this is a struggle is because anyone who is not on your brand is not yours to release and make unavailable. I have done a pretty good job however. Currently the only active wrestler on the game who has been released in real life is the recently released Chris Masters.
I assume that when WrestleMania occurs for the umpteenth time, I can acquire him and send him back to whence he came. I just completed another Royal Rumble. The Great Khali picked up the victory, but rather than beating 29 other men, he defeated 26. Why? Well, with WWE releasing so many guys in the past year, There just aren't enough guys to fill out the Rumble.
Smackdown vs. Raw 2008 came out yesterday, and as of this writing, I do not own it. The only thing I know for sure is that in the time between the last game and this one, WWE has gotten rid of a number of their SvR 2007 roster members. Aren't these guys supposed to be the cream of WWE's crop?
Well, if that's true, WWE should be in a lot worse shape than they are now. After all, these aren't just the scrubs that are no longer there. Former World Champions like Big Show, Booker T, Chris Benoit, Kurt Angle, and Rob Van Dam are among those who have departed since the last edition of the popular game. I would add JBL and Mick Foley to those names. JBL is no longer an active wrestler, and while I question Foley's addition as a regular roster member last year, it is without doubt that he hasn't stepped in the ring for a match anytime recently.
William Regal is another superstar who like JBL has strong WWE ties, but no longer serves a regular active in-ring role.
After these guys the biggest releases come from the Women's division. It's nothing impressive to be a former Women's Champion. Almost every WWE diva can lay claim to that title. Not every diva can claim to be Trish Stratus or Lita however. These two women revolutionized WWE women's wrestling.
The rest of the releases are made up of a lot of guys who frankly never really would have meant much. The only member of the list that I could have ever imagined with a World Title reign would have been Chris Masters. Unfortunately, he was unable to deal with the pressures of his gimmick in relation to the WWE Wellness Policy.
The other guys who have left WWE television include Daivari, Joey Mercury, Kid Kash, Paul Burchill, Psicosis, and Vito.
With rumors that Carlito may be the next on his way out the door, the prospects of me filling a Royal Rumble ring on SvR 2007 looks even bleaker.
The outlook for SvR 2008 isn't much better. Chris Masters, King Booker, JTG, Marquis Cor Von, The Sandman, Shad and Sabu have already been released and the game just came out. Again, William Regal is serving in a non-wrestling role. Who knows who will still be around by the 2009 edition? By the time I pick it up for Christmas, I may already be unable to have a true Royal Rumble.
That's ok with me though. I have a ways to go with Smackdown vs. Raw 07. After all, my video game is about the only place in wrestling that can boast a hot tag team division. DX, The Brothers of Destruction, Finlay and Regal, and Cade and Murdoch aren't too shabby. Add occasional appearances from Rated-RKO, Umaga and the Great Khali, and John Cena and Batista, and you'd swear it was 1989 when it comes to the depth of tag teams who are actually over.
For those who are curious, my full roster currently consists of Batista, Edge, Finlay, Khali, Cena, Nitro and Melina, Kane, Ken Kennedy, Lance Cade, Randy Orton, Rey Mysterio, Ric Flair, Shawn Michaels, Shelton Benjamin, Trevor Murdoch, Triple H, Umaga, The Undertaker, and William Regal. Yeah, I know. I'm stacked!
So if the World were perfect and WWE released Smackdown vs. Raw 2008 tommorow, who should be on the active roster?
Last years game included 44 active wrestlers. Assuming that the game is continually getting better, let's add six.
1. Shelton Benjamin
2. Lance Cade
3. Carlito
4. Charlie Haas
5. Jeff Hardy
6. Brian Kendrick
7. Mr. Kennedy
8. Santino Marella
9. Paul London
10. Shawn Michaels
11. Trevor Murdoch
12. Randy Orton
13. Cody Rhodes
14. Snitsky
15. Triple H
16. Umaga
17. Chris Jericho (Unlockable)
18. John Cena
19. Bobby Lashley
20. DH Smith
21. Val Venis
22. Batista
23. Deuce
24. Domino
25. Kenny Dykstra
26. Finlay
27. The Great Khali
28. Matt Hardy
29. Mark Henry
30. Kane
31. Rey Mysterio
32. Jamie Noble
33. Chuck Palumbo
34. MVP
35. The Undertaker
36. Jimmy Wang Yang
37. Edge
38. Ric Flair
39. Chavo Guerrero
40. Gregory Helms
41. Big Daddy V
42. Elijah Burke
43. CM Punk
44. Tommy Dreamer
45. John Morrison
46. The Miz
47. The Boogeyman
48. Stevie Richards
49. Matt Striker
50. Kevin Thorn
The last game included seven divas. If we can get the number up to ten, WWE should include:
1. Jillian Hall
2. Mickie James
3. Maria
4. Melina
5. Beth Phoenix
6. Candice Michelle
7. Michelle McCool
8. Victoria
9. Torrie Wilson
10. Kelly Kelly
The last game included 16 legends. Let's bump to 20:
1. Hulk Hogan
2. Randy Savage
3. Bret Hart
4. Steve Austin
5. The Rock
6. Arn Anderson
7. Ricky Steamboat
8. Ted Dibiase
9. Barry Windham
10. Andre the Giant
11. The Ultimate Warrior
12. Jake "The Snake" Roberts
13. Vader
14. Yokozuna
15. Mr. Perfect
16. Ax
17. Smash
18. Sid
19. Owen Hart
20. Razor Ramon
More on This Story...
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Time to Play the Game
Saturday, November 10, 2007
Weight Classes Could Help Drug Problem in Wrestling
I do not think the average person understands how difficult it is for a person to weigh in over 200 lbs. on a six foot frame and have a low body fat percentage. There is a reason that people that have body types like that are on the covers of magazines and can make good money with such a physique - it is not common. And, while having the talent to become a WWE star is not common either, proficiency at a sport does not necessarily require the physique of a Greek god. Look at the sport of football. Big beefy offensive linemen are often promoted as being complete pigs because of their physique. Hell, football players like Mike Golic have even made careers after their playing days on the idea that linemen are eating machines. I’m sure everyone has heard a story about a local pro, college, or even high school team’s linemen going to some kind of buffet and being asked to leave after eating plate upon plate of food. In the NFL, these guys are athletes of the highest magnitude, and weigh an average of 285 lbs. I ask you to take a look at your favorite NFL team next Sunday. How many of those players look as “ripped” as the WWE wrestlers? How many of them are built like bodybuilders? These guys are of the same height and weight as required by the WWE and are some of the highest paid athletes on the planet. They are required to be in the best possible physical condition to compete at the highest level of their sport. According to people that I have spoken to that have been to places like OVW, or that have been scouted by Vince McMahon’s World Wrestling Entertainment, Inc., the only major wrestling promotion in the United States is not interested in any wrestlers who are under 250 pounds, and under 6’2” tall. In addition to those minimum requirements, they expect their wrestlers to have “the look”. “The Look” is a catch-all term meaning “the look of a bodybuilder”. Chris Masters is a great example of this. This is a guy that, from the outside looking in, was not a great wrestler. The WWE even promoted him as having the body of a Greek god – thus he was branded “The Masterpiece”. Outside pressures (such as wrestlers dying and/or murdering their families) forced the WWE to start testing its competitors for steroids and other performance enhancing drugs and illegal narcotics such as marijuana. Suddenly, Masters found himself suspended. Then, he was ridiculed on television for losing weight while not taking the banned substances. It should be no surprise then that he failed another test, and was suspended again shortly after gaining most of his muscle mass back. Last week, Masters was suspended yet again, and then released. No where did we hear any reports about McMahon or the WWE putting Masters into a drug counseling program, or the FBI or ATF questioning him about where he was getting these substances. This kid was chewed up and spit out by the WWE machine simply because he had “the look” and they required him to maintain this look. Afterall, wrestling skill was not important. I am willing to bet that there are about 25 wrestlers who had a fair amount of publicity and reputation that, if they had debuted in the WWE in 2005, could have gained a fan following and drawn more money for the company than Masters. But, they were not winners of amateur bodybuilding contests like Masters. Nor were they all over six feet tall. Simply put, the WWE does not hire the best wrestlers in the world; they hire people who look like models. Alex Rodriguez is poised to become the highest paid athlete in the planet, and I guarantee that not one team that is thinking of signing him has debated whether or not he has “the look” of a baseball player. No, A-Rod can prove all he needs to with a look at his stats. If he looks nice in his underwear, maybe he can pick up modeling work endorsing… underwear. Charles Barkley was always known as the “Round Mound of Rebound” because he was pudgy. Barkley also was a multiple time all-star and is on his way to the hall of fame because he could play basketball. Not because he had six pack abs. So, why is having “the look” so important in wrestling? A look that, simply put, is not natural. According to the American Heart Lung and Blood Institute, a person who is 6’2” and 250 lbs is obese. A person of that size would have a Body Mass Index of 32.1 – 2.1 points over the obesity threshold. While the ignorant masses watching RAW every Monday may look at stars such as John Cena and think that this is what an athlete is supposed to look like, it is actually the exact opposite. Looking like what the WWE wants is unhealthy. I think there is a simple solution to all of this: weight classes. The hottest fighting sport in the world right now is the Ultimate Fighting Championships. UFC is destroying the WWE when it comes to pay-per-view. UFC PPV events average about 400,000 buys – and they now take place on a monthly basis. While they may not generate the television revenue that WWE does, UFC sells nearly double what WWE does on PPV. When you ask people to name UFC stars they will often name Chuck Liddell, Randy Couture, Quinton Jackson, Rich Franklin, and Ken Shamrock. Except for Couture, none of those men fight as heavyweights for UFC. And Couture has fought most of his career as both a heavyweight, and a light heavyweight. So, if no one wants to see average size people fight, why is UFC destroying WWE at the PPV box office? While there are a variety of factors why UFC may be a booming business, my argument is that the size of the competitor is not one of them. Vince McMahon and people of his same train of thought will tell you that people will not pay to see “small” wrestlers because they want to be entertained by “larger than life characters”. That mentality comes from the fact that for years, the most prestigious title in all of sports was the Heavyweight Champion of the World. In Boxing. Why was it prestigious? Because the heavyweight division had characters like John L. Sullivan, Jack Johnson, Rocky Marciano, Muhammad Ali, George Foreman, Joe Frazier, and many, many more. These were all first class athletes, sure. They also were first class personalities. Guys like Jerry Cooney may have been good fighters, but they had no personality, so they were not stars. Roy Jones, Ray Leonard, Shane Mosley, Oscar de la Hoya – these guys are stars too because they had personality – despite not being heavyweights. The WWE machine is about creating and branding a “personality”, rather than letting an athlete’s real personality shine thru. The territory days and the studio style of promo have gone away in favor of the WWE telling someone what their personality is. The WWE does not sign the best personalities it can find, they go for the bodies that define what wrestling should be to Vince McMahon. What UFC has done is find a formula for promoting the personalities of their fighters in a way the WWE no longer does. UFC has press conferences, interviews with legitimate media outlets, and lets their fighters be themselves on their television shows such as “The Ultimate Fighter”. UFC has promoted their heavyweights as hard hitting and their smaller fighters as quick and exciting. Guys weighing in at 170lbs and standing 6’5” is not as uncommon as you might think. Heavyweights weighing in at 265 lbs and not having ripped six pack abs are the norm. Hell, guys like Chuck Liddell even get over with the fans because their bodies are more like a “working man”. UFC shows the monster eight hour workouts that guys like Tito Ortiz put themselves thru – and you see that Ortiz isn’t as ripped as Chris Masters. Ortiz trains to fight. Vince McMahon seems to have forgotten that is what is supposed to be going on in the ring – a fight. “Weight Class” is a dirty phrase in wrestling. Everyone wants to be heavyweight champ, not a “junior” champ. Well, at least in the United States. Other than when WCW promoted the Cruiserweight Division in the late 1990’s, no major promotion in the US has given non-heavyweights a forum to get over a different style of ring work. In Japan, maybe you could debate if it was more prestigious to be the IWGP Heavyweight or Junior Heavyweight Champion in New Japan. In Mexico, the most prestigious championships are the CMLL and NWA Light Heavyweight Championships. In UFC, the division where the big money marquee matches are is the Light Heavyweight. Two guys under 200 lbs. fighting for a title can draw 20,000 paying fans to an arena in Japan, Mexico, and the US – but not for the WWE. Or so says Vince McMahon. Currently, the WWE has three different heavyweight championships. They have zero singles championships for non-heavyweights (or did you not notice that the Cruiserweight Championship disappeared after Hornswaggle won it?). Is it even at all possible to conceive that there are not enough wrestlers out there less than 200 lbs. for the largest wrestling company in the world to put together a division for them, but they have so many good heavyweights that they put together three different divisions for them? Maybe the WWE product would become less stale, fewer wrestlers would die, and ratings and buyrates would increase if the WWE actually promoted wrestling by athletes instead of crappy acting by bodybuilders. I’m not even going to get into tag teams, as that could be another topic completely (Hmmm… next week’s blog topic?!?), but you cannot tell me that the prospect of a card with three big title matches consisting of Batista/Undertaker, Hardy/MVP and Morrison/Punk would draw worse then anything they do now – because that is the same damn thing they are pushing now. The difference is that by introducing titles for different weight classes, you keep wrestlers healthy, and you have to bring something to that weight class to get a shot in the first place. Bigger isn’t always better. Just ask Chris Masters.
When you turn on the television to watch wrestling, what do you see? Big beefy bodies usually. Tall, muscular heavyweight wrestlers are the rule of thumb in wrestling, for a variety of reasons.
Not to look like they are in the top condition to compete at the highest level.
Here is what the WWE could do:
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Will teams of five indeed strive to survive?
It has been the entire theme of Survivor Series past (at least for the most part,) the 8 to 10 man Elimination Matches. I'm a big fan of this PPV for the Survivor Series matches themselves, so needless to say I get a little pissed during the years that they have little to no Survivor Series Matches themselves. Sorry, but Elimination Chamber doesn't do it for me. Would you scrap the tired and true Royal Rumble format in place of a "Monster Mash" Battle Royal? I would certainly hope not. I'm a big fan of gimmick matches and consistancy, so I'm all for sticking with what brought them to the dance.
Now that we're past the tapings we're unofficially a week past Cyber Sunday and have only announced the WWE Title Match. That's fine and all, there's still time to let feuds culminate in the traditional elimination matches. Seeing as how they've been going with the 6 match PPV format as of late, here is my dream Survivor Series card. I will officially crap my match if any of this actually happens though...
The Great Khali, Mark Henry, Big Daddy V, and MVP, and Edge vs Batista, Undertaker, Kane, Matt Hardy, and Ric Flair (Hyping the returns of both Edge and Flair)
Rey Mysterio, Chuck Palumbo, Jimmy Wang Yang, Jesse, and Festus vs Finlay, Kenny Dykstra, Chris Masters, Deuce, and Domino (Yang's kind of the Wild Card, but it evens things out)
CM Punk, Tommy Dreamer, Stevie Richards, Balls Mahoney, and The Boogeyman vs John Morrison, Kevin Thorn, Elijah Burke, The Miz, and Nunzio (The ECW Roster actually gets a payday!)
Triple H, Jeff Hardy, DH Smith, Cody Rhodes, and Hardcore Holly vs Umaga, Mr Kennedy, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, and Charlie Haas (of course everyone not named Triple H or Umaga would be considered filler)
Santino Marella, Lance Cade, Trevor Murdoch, and The Highlanders vs Paul London, Brian Kendrick, Hornswaggle, Ron Simmons, and Steve Austin (okay this one is stretching it a little but why the hell)
Beth Phoenix, Melina, Victoria, Layla and Jillian Hall vs Kelly Kelly, Mickie James, Maria, Torrie Wilson, and Michelle McCool (When was the last time they had a Women's Survivor Series Match?)
There you have it. While it breaks the mold and has 7 matches on a $40 PPV, I could justify spending the money on a card that looks like this. And keep in mind I haven't felt any PPV this year outside of The Royal Rumble or Wrestlemania worth going to a Sports Bar to watch for the price of dinner...More on This Story...
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Thursday, October 04, 2007
The Cyclical Wrestling Business
So two weeks ago I asked what it is that even makes a superstar? One week ago I talked about professionally wrestling's surprisingly deep free agent market. I got some great responses on a free agent roster that I will share a bit later, but first I want to talk about the cyclical nature of wrestling, because it's an argument that I have heard 1000 times that I am just not buying.
Months ago, Linda McMahon stated that professional wrestling was about to reach another boom period. So what creates these cycles?
Well, the first is simply talent. In the 1980's, Vince McMahon purchased the best superstars from every territory to create his national brand. The chance to see the best of the best from around the world together in something other than a Pro Wrestling Illustrated magazine was undoubtedly exciting, and Vince was printing money.
However, Vince seemed to forget something very important along the way. His business is with human beings. Human beings grow older. Human beings have wants and needs. Pretty soon the early nineties appeared, and many of those from the Rock N' Wrestling Generation had retired. Ted Turner purchased those remaining, much the way they were purchased by Vince a decade earlier.
In the meantime, Vince hadn't created any new stars. He had latched his wagon onto workhorses like Hulk Hogan and let them take him as far as they could pull. So when Hogan was gone, Vince had to turn to Bret Hart and Lex Luger to pull the weight. The results were less than thrilling.
In time, Razor Ramon, Diesel, and Shawn Michaels separated themselves from the pack as special talents. Ramon and Diesel were then lured away by the almighty dollar as well, but luckily for Vince, he had recently acquired the underappreciated former WCW talent Steve Austin, and there was a third generation superstar on the horizon.
Initially Vince stuck with his tired formula. The third generation superstar was called Rocky Miavia, and pushed down the throats of fans as an undeniable babyface. Austin was given the gimmick of the Ringmaster and the Million Dollar Belt to boot. Nothing was going to change ratings until Vince McMahon changed his philosophy.
A rumbling was taking place that would shake the core of professional wrestling. Paul Heyman took a group of WWE and WCW rejects, matched them up with guys no one had ever heard of, and created one of the most exciting products in wrestling history. When the cult following started to become a mainstream fanfare, Vince had the answer.
WWE Attitude took the audience back from WCW and created the second significant wrestling boom of the past 30 years. Much like when Vince McMahon had put all his eggs into Hogan's basket in the 80's, he was going to milk Attitude for all it was worth as the late nineties rolled into the new millennium.
If the Attitude Era were a large plentiful orange in 1997, WWE was still squeezing the hell out of it in 2006 in order to quench the fans thirst. Then one day, Vince woke up and looked at the talent around him. Steve Austin had retired. The Rock had left to go do movies. Mick Foley was not going to be flying off any cages. Instead a new crop of talent surrounded him. Bobby Lashley, Ken Kennedy, Umaga…
Vince decided the first thing to do was release Scotty 2 Hotty. After all, nothing screamed hanging on to 1997 like this guy still doing the Too Cool dance and the worm ten years later.
It was time to shake off a half decade of bad investments. Since the WWF became the WWE, Vince and company have put a great deal of time and money into guys that simply didn't pan out. The emergence of the NWO in the WWE didn't work because of injuries to Kevin Nash and the conduct of Scott Hall. Hulkamania was reignited, but only long enough to give him some big wins over guys like Triple H, Shawn Michaels, and Randy Orton, only to see him disappear again with no real benefit to the company.
For a full year Vince pushed Brock Lesnar on Smackdown and Goldberg on Raw. By the time their dream match was scheduled at Wrestlemania, both had decided that they were done with the WWE, and a retired Steve Austin got the rub from stunning them both on their departure.
WWE chose to let go of the Dudley Boyz. While their routine was admittedly tired, shouldn't they have put someone over on their way out for the future viability of the tag division? What about Christian and Chris Jericho? These guys were in the title picture at Summerslam and then gone before the Royal Rumble.
One can't miss prospect that WWE was looking to was Muhammed Hassan. After the time they put into making Hassan a true contender, he was drafted to Smackdown and then had to be removed from TV for a controversial angle.
It wasn't just the men's department where WWE was hurting. In a short period they lost three of their most established divas as well when Stacy Keibler, Trish Stratus, and Lita all said goodbye.
Just last year The Big Show quit after a lengthy run as ECW champion and a main event program with Degeneration X.
All of these releases as individual instances are not a big deal. All of them together, however, are pretty significant. Figure into that the deaths of Owen Hart and Eddie Guerrero, and you have a recipe for disaster.
It's actually quite impressive that WWE is doing as well as they are right now. With Triple H, Shawn Michaels, and the Undertaker as the corporate backbone, WWE was able to develop John Cena, Batista, Randy Orton, and more into this new crop of superstars.
However, just when things were looking up, Triple H, Shawn Michaels, and the Undertaker go down to injuries. Following suit are Rey Mysterio, King Booker, and Ken Kennedy. Rob Van Dam leaves the company. Chris Benoit kills himself. Edge gets hurt. Bobby Lashley gets hurt. Then after Triple H, Mysterio, and the Undertaker come back, 10-12 superstars get Wellness-related suspensions. When those guys on the Wellness suspensions return, John Cena tears his pectoral muscle.
So John Cena is injured and smarks around the world are rejoicing as if the war in Iraq were finally over. I for one don't see the upside.
Say what you will about John Cena, and wrestling sites have about said it all ad nauseam, but John Cena has proven to be something special. His name on the marquee draws crowds, his image on cotton sells t-shirts, his persona both live and on television stays over, and his programs with Edge, Randy Orton, Triple H, Umaga, and others make for damn good wrestling television.
So what do people have to say about the heir-apparent to the WWE throne? He's no Hulk Hogan. He's no Steve Austin. He's no Rock. You know what? That's completely true.
Hulk Hogan, Steve Austin, and The Rock are arguably the three biggest stars in the history of professional wrestling. John Cena has commonalities with all three men, but he certainly is not able to fill their shoes.
Like the Rock, Cena came into the WWE as a bluechipper. Fans didn't accept his babyface character, and he was quickly pushed into being a heel and developed his own personality. Like Steve Austin, John Cena became an ass-kicking anti hero, as his foul mouth and controversial actions only endeared him more to the WWE crowd. Like Hulk Hogan, he captured the imagination of children everywhere and became an almost unstoppable force.
What the Rock, Steve Austin, and Hulk Hogan had going for them is that they were allowed to be themselves with the volume turned way up. What John Cena has working against him is that he is expected to be some type of amalgamation of those who came before him.
When Randy Orton was kicked out of Evolution shortly after winning the WWE title, he suffered a similar fate. For months, Orton had developed his cocky legend killer character to the point that fans began to like it. When the time came to pull the trigger on Orton's inevitable babyface run, they placed him on the stage and gave him a Rock-esque promo to cut. It didn't work. Why? Well for starters, Randy Orton is not the Rock. He is Randy Orton.
When The Rock finally turned babyface, he did not magically turn into a new generation Hulk Hogan. He stayed true to who he was, and the fans ate that up. This was the character that fans had grown to love. No one wanted to hear The Rock telling us to train, say our prayers, and eat our vitamins.
The more over John Cena's rap character became, the more he got pushed in a direction where he had to fit a mold that was created before him. Cena has since abandoned the throwback jerseys, locks, and chains that brought him to the dance and has adopted the persona of being "The Marine," a role that was initially intended for Steve Austin.
When given mic time, Cena is rarely ever the brash arrogant kid we grew to love. He is often simply too goofy to be taken seriously. It's strange how the Rock can call Umaga a shriveled up monkey penis and it works, but when John Cena calls the Big Show poopy pants it doesn't. It's the same type of sophomoric humor, but it just rolls off The Rock's tongue more naturally.
Then again, I was 14 when I loved hearing the Rock say those things. I am now 24, and I would hope my sense of humor has evolved. Still, when the Rock makes his occasional appearance, I expect this from him and welcome it. When I see John Cena, I would prefer not to see a subpar rehash of places I have already been.
John Cena has had some fantastic matches in his career. Of course Kurt Angle, Chris Benoit, Edge, and Shawn Michaels had the ability to make anyone look like a million bucks, but Cena's recent Summerslam effort against Randy Orton should also serve to silence a lot of critics.
Cena's reputation as a hard worker is well documented. Often I think the criticism he gets for no-selling moves and having a tired predicatable offense is unwarranted, because I believe this is what he is instructed to do by the WWE higher-ups. If Vince McMahon wanted Cena to deliver a consistently better and more diverse in-ring product, I am sure he could step to the plate.
Case and Point: John Cena's injury is not a positive for professional wrestling. It is very much a negative. What Linda McMahon predicted to be a "boom" period for professional wrestling has become a period where the product is really suffering. Those who have enjoyed the most success due to circumstance thus far? The Great Khali and Hornswaggle. There is something wrong with that picture.
Every move that WWE makes right now is critical. Every signing, every release and every push is essential to sustaining the momentum the company had been building over the past year. Every booking, every storyline and every angle needs to be carefully constructed to maintain the relationships with fans who have tuned in over the past seven years to see people who may or may not be on their televisions due to a number of circumstances.
So in this sensitive time period that requires a great deal of focus, what is the WWE doing? A Teddy Long Viagra-induced heart attack and a Hornswaggle/Melina love story. These are two angles that take TV time, and don't build anyone with the ability to draw a dime or even result in a match.
They are building Santino Marella into one of the most interesting superstars on Raw. The problem? On the way there, they are going to further devalue their most underrated talent in Val Venis. Venis has the look, the charisma, and the in-ring ability, yet he is saddled with eternal job duty. What is Marella's ultimate destiny after getting the rub from Val? That's quite simple. He will receive kick-wham-stunner from an inactive Steve Austin. How does this elevate a new superstar? It doesn't.
Triple H gets to destroy Umaga, Carlito, Cade, and Murdoch. Who's next? Well most likely with Cena getting hurt, Orton will be thrown into this match at the pay-per-view and it will be made for the vacant WWE title. It is likely good ole' Trips will bury Orton too on the way to another long meaningless title run, and heck, while he has the belt, let him destroy Ken Kennedy too. What's the point of having something new to look forward to? Right WWE?
Speaking of something new to look forward to, how about Cody Rhodes. Oh yeah, that's right. He is jobbing to Bob Holly. The fans have never accepted Holly as more than a weak midcarder, so Rhodes losing to him on a weekly basis is especially damaging. You think Cody would get a better deal because of his daddy. I guess this is supposed to end with Rhodes earning Holly's respect. Whoopdee shit. I'd rather see Rhodes spit in his face and ask him why in the 15 years he's been in the WWE he hasn't had any real success. Then ask him why he's still going around calling himself Hardcore. In the last WWE Smackdown vs. Raw game, Lawler exclaims, "1998 called, they want their word back." Amen.
Even when Brock Lesnar legit injured Bob Holly, his return to get revenge garnered him no fan support. I am happy Holly beat his terrible staph infection, but that doesn't make him any less boring. Bob Holly never was a star and never will be one. I wish that WWE would wish him the best on his future endeavors, or throw him back on ECW where nothing matters anyways.
If those viral marketing promos are actually for Chris Jericho and not for the new and improved WWE.com featuring old school pics of Dusty Rhodes' valet Sweet Sapphire, wrestling fans around the world need to realize something. I said last week that no one man is going to save the WWE. I take that back. There actually is one guy that has that power. His name is Vince McMahon.
It is up to Vince McMahon and the WWE creative team to build intriguing storylines that make sense, attract viewers, and lead to an even bigger payoff. Until they get that process down, even a returning Chris Jericho is likely to be nothing to get excited about. In fact, he's just another guy for Triple H to run over while we all wait patiently for wrestling's next big boom period.
Chris O offered up his 30 man roster alternative to the WWE
World Championship Division
Sabu
CW Anderson
Rob Van Dam
The Sandman
Steve Corino
Bryan Danielson
Brent Albright
Marcus Cor Von
The Human Tornado
Lightweight Championship Division
Too Cold Scorpio
Austin Starr
Sean Waltman
Jushin Liger
Mistico
TAKA Michinoku
Ultimo Dragon
Matt Bentley
Jack Evans
Tag Team Championship Division
Kings of Wrestling: Chris Hero and Claudio Castagnoli
Jay Briscoe and Mark Briscoe
Joey Mercury and Christian York
The Mexicools: Psicosis and Juventud Guerrera
The Naturals: Chase Stevens and Andy Douglas
Cryme Tyme: JTG and Shad
My fed's roster kinda resembles the original ECW. In the World Title Division there are Originals such as Sabu, Sandman, and RVD. I have guys with technical prowess such as Danielson and Albright. I have a monster in Cor Von, and have Anderson and Tornado in there as heavyweight jobbers. My lightweights are stacked and should provide exciting matches like lightweights in the old ECW. My tag team division is a mix of indy teams like the Kings of Wrestling and the Briscoes, and ex-WWE or TNA teams like Cryme Tyme and the Naturals. If Heyman booked for this fed, it would be able to create a cult following. While it probably wouldn't compete with WWE, it can still be popular on a national stage.
Stephen Straka also gave his 30 man roster
A roster of 30 based on the free agents? Hoo boy.
The first thing I'm gonna do is divide the 30 into groups. 10 slots will be set aside for 5 established tag teams. 6 slots will be for the "devlopers", the type of guys you see winning tons on Heat but jobbing almost everywhere else. Hacksaw and Val Venis for example. Their primary role is to both test the incoming rookies and take under their wings the signed contract that still need some freshening up on the B-show. 1 of the tag team slots will be for this purpose as well. 7 slots will be for the upper-card wrestlers while 7 will be for an X-division.
Tag teams:
- La Resistence; I personally liked their gimmick and they're able to draw heat better than a lot of heels.
- Briscoe Bros.; duh. The only proviso is that they dress up as Mario and Luigi during Halloween episodes. Why? Why not?
- Cryme Tyme; sadly, I never got to see them in any matches aside from squashes but their skits are good for comedy value. Probably most liekly to be the B-show team but again, I haven't seen enough of them to tell.
- Basham Bros.; whatever you're gonna call them, they can be great in the ring if you let them be. Unfortunately, they were used as enforcers, which is never good for your in-ring work.
- Gymini is your "big" team.
Developers:
- Scotty! Even though he's at the tail end of his career, the fans still love the worm and I can see him tearing up the B-show in my promotion.
- Ace Steel; again, getting along in years but still more than capable of main-eventing the B-show. He can also double as a trainer/manager for someone who has a boxing/MMA gimmick given his training ofthe Second City Saints.
- Eugene; it's sad that he never got a chance outside the retard gimmick. I'd probably let him go back to being Mr. Wrestling and make him the heel developer.
-
X-Division:
- Essa Rios!
- TAKA Michinoku!
- Human Tornado!
- Ultimo Dragon!
- Jushin "Thuder" Liger!
- Yuji Nagata!
- Zach Gowen!
In case you haven't figured it out, this will probably be the equivilent of WCW's cruiserweight scene. Lower in the card and don't expect much for English promos but damn if the matches aren't gonna be exciting! Human Tornado gets to be Ken Masters for Halloween. SHOOOORYUKEN!
Upper card:
- Bryan Danielson; DUH
- RVD; ALSO DUH. Robbie V can also do double-duty in the X-division if there's injury or he's not doing anything.
- Mistico; can also slide into the X-division if neccessary
- Big Show and
- Giant Bernard are your monster heels. They can also do double-duty as a monster heel tag team if neccessary.
- Sylvester Terkay; is most likely to have Ace Steel as his trainer/manager
- Brent Albright and
- Monty Brown to round things out
Ideally my promotion would have a Raw/Heat deal with the A and B-shows. The A-show would be two ohurs long so as to give everyone enough exposure.
Karl Belanger checked in with this note on Pierre-Carl Ouellet
Just a quick note on Pierre-Carl Ouellet. He is now a color commentator for the TNA shows on RDS (Quebec's equivalent to ESPN or TSN). He's actually not too bad and way more tolereable than Lawler.
Last week, to my surprise, there was actually a 3 way match shown with him, Christopher Daniels and AJ Styles on the TNA broadcast that took place in Ottawa (not shown on TNA's regular boradcast obviously). He still looks great despite his age and can still work a crowd quite well. I always really liked him in the Quebecers and was always amazed at how well he could move for a big man. WWE wants their version of Samoa Joe? He'd be the perfect guy (much more so than Umaga I feel).
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Monday, August 27, 2007
You F*cked Up! You F*cked Up!
We all remember it. That infamous chant is synonymous with the old ECW. Usually it came from the fans whenever a worker would blow a spot, make a move look bad, etc. It's one of the few things that left that can still be associated with the original ECW (and that's not a good thing) as they certainly have been making some very questionable judgement calls as of late.
Here's the million dollar question… Has WWE missed the boat on giving CM Punk the ECW Title? Yes, and here's why…
The internet loves CM Punk. You know it, I know it. But he's more than just the golden boy for the smart marks. While I don't think he's ready to carry the top belt on Raw or Smackdown, he's very well deserving of being called ECW Champion. Should he have beaten John Morrison for the belt last night at Summerslam. Defenitely, and I think they backed themselves into a corner by not doing so. After 3 consecutive PPV Matches, I think it would be a very bad idea if they revisit Punk vs Morrison yet again next month. While Punk has non-title and tag match victories over him, the PPV Title Matches are the ones that count in the long run. The time now is for Morrison to move onto bigger and better things.
The problem is there are no bigger and better things on the ECW Roster…
ECW never full recouporated from the loss of Chris Benoit. Essentially adding Benoit was to make up for the loss of Bobby Lashley… and Rob VanDam… and Sabu… Because they didn't send another guy to ECW that could work as a legit Main Eventer, they were left with 2 guys to carry the brand… Punk and Morrison. While I questioned putting the belt on Morrison initially, I think he's done a great job of carrying the ball (although his mic skills still leave something to be desired.) Now that Punk is 0-3, who else is left to feud with for the belt? Dreamer and Mahoney have been jobbed out too much to be taken seriously as contenders. Boogeyman hasn't gotten far enough in his feud with Big Daddy V to move on to something else. The Miz? Yeah right. The only legitimate choice they have that actually has some momentum going for him is Stevie Richards. Now thinking about it, he was an ECW Title Contender 10 years ago… that seems to be the direction they've been heading as of late so why not?
What will most likely happen is Nitro will continue to work squash matches against Enhancement Talent. That's not the thing you want to be doing with the guy carrying your top belt, plus when WWE PPVs are only featuring one ECW Match, you can't afford for it not to be featuring your only titleholder. He can feud with someone from Smackdown or Raw for the title like they did with Big Show and Lashley. While that does work to an extent because it adds prestige when your champ is getting clean victories over guys like Ric Flair, Kane, and The Undertaker, it also shows what a weak roster you have because there are no legitemate contenders.
Of course, we already know that by now…
My suggestion to ECW is to build up the roster a bit more. Take 2 guys from each existing roster, one that can help the Midcard, and one that can Main Event. Here are my suggestions:
1. Super Crazy - Why wasn't he part of the revived ECW initially? He's an ECW original, he's Super, he's Crazy, and he can pull out a good series of matches with guys like Miz, Nunzio, Punk, and Burke.
2. Matt Hardy - Everyone thinks Hardy's ready for a World Title Run. I don't see him beating The Great Khali anytime soon, so why not test out how he'd do carrying the ball in the land of Extreme?
3. Jeff Hardy - He's been written off TV on Raw, why not have him make his return in ECW? While he shouldn't be one to carry the belt, he can be taken seriously as a contender against Morrison, and we already know they already chemistry together.
4. Kenny Dykstra - While the Spirit Squad was around, he was touted as being the next big thing and a future World Champion. He struck out with his singles run on Raw and isn't doing much better on Smackdown. I think he would be a nice fit in ECW, and they can build him up to move him to another brand like they're currently planning for BDV.
Is it a perfect solution? Not really? Does it help give WWECW the feel of a Philadephia Bingo Hall? Not by a long shot, but if you're touting your top (and only) belt as a World Title, there's a bit more that needs done to make it feel like one.
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Monday, June 25, 2007
Those Tasteless McMahons
As far as being tasteless, sometimes I think WWE gets a bum rap for trying to do things that every other major media outlet is doing.Maybe it's because they marketed their product so hard to kids in the 80's. Maybe it's because they are seen as a lesser form of entertainment. However, TV shows and movies deal with the concept of a character dying all the time, with no backlash. Would the "Sopranos" be suddenly seen as tasteless if their Key Grip guy died?
The problem with the Vince McMahon death angle is not that it's tasteless. It's that it's uninteresting, which is a shame considering they just killed off an incredibly OVER character who has been the focal point of the show for the past ten years.
The reason it is uninteresting is because fans smell the shit they are about to be fed from a mile away. An angle like this deserves a huge payoff, but WWE has no aces up its sleeve.
Remember when The Undertaker was answering to a higher power? Fans speculated that it might be Jake Roberts, Ted Dibiase or even that possibly Owen Hart's death was untrue and he could be the higher power. Instead, we got Vince McMahon.
What about when Stone Cold was run down in the parking lot? Logical sense pointed directly to The Rock. Having Austin VS. a fresh Heel Rock and the Angle/HHH/Stephanie love triangle going on simultaneously could have propelled WWE to new heights. Instead, WWE didn't want to lose The Rock's T-Shirt revenue, so Rikishi was found to be the one driving the car. Rikishi? Please...
How can anyone forget about the WCW "Who was driving the hummer?" angle. Oh, what's that? You forgot? Well, it's probably because they never answered the question. I am just going to assume that whoever they found that blew up this limo was also driving that hummer. I am hoping it is Kenny Dykstra, because he wouldn't have even had a Driver's License then.
Professional wrestling has a history of ending these storylines in the most uninteresting way possible. Not to mention that Triple H was lifted in a car in a crane and dropped 40 feet, and came back to wrestle a week later in what Jim Ross described as "a miracle." The true miracle was that no charges were pressed against Steve Austin who had obviously attempted to kill the man the week before. Hulk Hogan and The Giant squared off in a monster truck sumo match on the top of a building. The Giant was pushed off and came back to wrestle that night.
Wrestling fans know that WWE has about 200 ways to just shrug this off. And who are the interesting suspects? Mick Foley? Bobby Lashley? Please. About the best payoff you could muster would be Degeneration X was playing a prank that went a little overboard. Imagine the looks on HBK and HHH's face as they shrug their shoulders and say 'oops'. Then the crowd pops as they crotch chop into the night.With the concept of an FBI investigation surrounding the case, anyone who is responsible would likely be taken off TV for some time, having to go to court and eventually jail. That will not happen however, as the suspect will be guilty without trial, and some wrestler will choose to get his revenge in the ring, rather than through federal 'pound me in the ass' prison time.
In the end, it's pretty obvious to me that Vince will have indeed faked his own death, and Stephanie will turn babyface, distraught that her dad could pull such a horrible stunt. Shane will be mad at Stephanie, distraught that his dad could raise such a horrible cunt.
If anything is worthwhile about this angle, it's that it has the wrestling world talking, something that we haven't had a chance to do much, unless it's over distaste about pulling things out of Jim Ross' ass or incessant John Cena bashing. Still, the Vince McMahon presumed death is to most fans just "WrestleCrap" waiting to happen. The most unfortunate thing about the angle is what it is doing to the talent on each brand.
The most unfortunate thing about the angle is what it is doing to the talent on each brand. Last night, WWE showed a highlight clip of Cade and Murdoch screwing the Hardys out of the tag team titles. With the brands seemingly once again divided with clear lines, Matt Hardy won't be able to show up on "Raw" to get his revenge. Oh, scratch that, he can show up on "Raw" all he wants if they win the tag titles at Vengeance. I'd rather see Dave Taylor come over and win them with Regal myself. I digress.
London and Kendrick were about as mediocre looking as could be on "Raw", wrestling the World's Greatest Tag Team. When I was predicting what would be on "Raw", saying that Bobby Lashley would squash Daivari and Umaga would squash The Sandman, I wanted to include that London and Kendrick would squash WGTT, but I left it out because I would have assumed that the actual match would at least be entertaining. It wasn't really.If you are WGTT, why do you unleash your new gear on a night you are inevitably jobbing? Every time these guys give me something to get excited about, it turns out that there is absolutely nothing to be excited about. I can't believe that the guy that beat Triple H on "Raw" a few years back is now one half of "Raw"'s most infamous jobber tag team. Weak. It's strange how London and Kendrick came off as really being something special on "SmackDown!", and are just an afterthought on "Raw". The crowd fizzled after the team's victory. They really do seem out of place, and I'd love to see them go to "SmackDown!" or ECW.
The Sandman is also obviously out of place on "Raw", but at least he got a pop. The funny thing is, many think WWE ressurected ECW to snuff out any remaining ECW chants, by associating those letters with a vastly different product. Ironically, The Sandman probably got more ECW chants on "Raw" than the whole ECW show will get Tuesday Nights on the Sci-Fi channel. Funny how he should be in the ECW element, but he is probably more significant on another brand, as he can really bear the ECW flag when not held back by ECW.
I want to say how refreshing it was to hear the biggest pop of the night go to Mickie James. Of course, in her hometown, she had to eat the pinfall. Lame. At least it happened after the new sweet finisher of Melina, a leg-drop to split variation of the DDT. The commentators were really getting on my nerves, from Lawler's insistance that someone as boring as Paul London could be the culprit in the McMahon bombing, to the validated statement that Lashley and King Booker had never wrestled before.
It makes me want to go check their claim that Foley hadn't been in a singles match on "Raw" in seven years. What most irked me was how both of them kept calling King Booker, Booker T. "SmackDown!" did a great job in associating Booker with his new gimmick and letting us know that this wasn't just a flash in the pan thing. That helped position King Booker in a place where he could win a World Title. On "Raw", he's a contender, but the commentators can't even get his name right.
It just goes to show how clusterfucked things are, because the guys who are paid to put the stuff over can't even remember what's going on. WWE needs to stop all this flash in the pan booking, so that matches that should mean something when they happen, actually can. The fact that WWE gave away an inevitable Cena/Orton confrontation for free on "Raw" still baffles me.
Lastly, and not least, whether Stephanie is looking plump or not, I'd still hit it. Actually, I'd rather have her go down on me, that way I'd be assured that I wouldn't have to hear her talk. To make it fair, I'd return the favor. That way I can let all you readers know, exactly how "tasteless" the McMahons truly are.
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Monday, June 11, 2007
A Rough Draft
The WWE Draft is only hours away, and ever since it was announced, WWE.com has been asking, where would you like to see certain superstars wind up?
I have taken it upon myself to look at every wrestler on every brand's roster and suggest what I think would be best for their careers at this given time.
Active “Raw” Talent:
Shelton Benjamin - Benjamin is doing well on the “Raw” brand since being reunited with Charlie Haas. To my chagrin, his singles push was not successful. In time, Benjamin may be able to become a break-out singles star, but until then, I would keep the WGTT in the once-again-competitive “Raw” tag division.
Lance Cade - WWE.com has been teasing the split of Cade and Murdoch much more significantly than anyone else in the upcoming draft. I don't see why it even matters, as The Hardys were tag champs right before them while on separate brands. Someone might think it's cute to split them up, but the last time they did, we saw what happened...in a few months they were put back together. I think that Cade can be a main eventer someday, but for now, let him stay with Murdoch on “Raw”.
Carlito - Carlito is a superstar who is in desperate need of a shot in the arm. I actually have never liked him since he's been on the “Raw” brand, and I think that a move to “SmackDown!” might be the perfect medicine for this cool Caribbean superstar.
John Cena - Rumors have swirled that a Cena/Batista feud may be in the works. For now, I would guess it's just fan speculation. If the feud is to happen, Cena would likely move to “SmackDown!”, and Edge would come to “Raw” to feud with the returning Triple H and HBK. If WWE wants to do Batista/Cena, they will save it for WrestleMania. To have Batista and Cena on the same brand in June seems like a bad idea. If this match is to happen, I look for it to be inter-promotional one at 'Mania, rather than part of a brand split. If Cena does move, I think it will have a lot to do with Vince's son-in-law.
Hacksaw Jim Duggan - Here's a guy you don't think about. Suprisingly not released in the last string of guys dropped, Duggan is actually the type of guy that could experience a career rebirth if placed in the right setting. With better legends around on the “Raw” brand - namely Ric Flair - it would be interesting to see Duggan take a move to ECW with his 2x4 in hand, align himself with guys like Sandman and Tommy Dreamer, and get back to what he did best: beating people up, tough guy!
Kenny Dykstra - The Dykstra-Nitro combination is not working for me, and doesn't seem to be working for many others. However, WWE.com did an article to let us know this is not a fly by night affair. If WWE wants a tag team, send Dykstra to “SmackDown!” and put him back with Johnny Jeter. Give them a freakin' baseball gimmick and call it a day.
Eugene - Eugene needs more than just a change of scenery. If ECW was the ECW we all remembered, I would place him there. When the hostile ECW fans tore the gimmick to shreds, Dinsmore could repackage himself, and deliver the goods in the ring like he did before he was saddled with his retard gimmick. Unfortunately, today's ECW fans come for “SmackDown!” shows, and would respond to Eugene the same way as “Raw” fans do. With indifference.
Ric Flair - Everyone hopes The Nature Boy has a 17th title run in him. It doesn't seem likely. What could change that? The reemergence of The Four Horsemen. Who could be candidates though? Well, as much as Flair thought him leading HBK, HHH, and Kurt Angle sounded great a few years ago, it is not likely the group will be so elite. One proven member however could be Chris Benoit, after a jump to “Raw”. Picture Flair as World Champ, Benoit as IC champ, and Cade and Murdoch with the tag gold. Heel or face, that sounds like money to me. WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Shad Gaspard - Big Shad has a great upside, but is probably not ready to be all Vince wants him to be. Breaking up Cryme Tyme seems like a good idea, but it's probably premature. Shad however should be ready to be a big star by the next draft.
Charlie Haas - Poor Charlie. So vanilla, that getting no reaction from fans is actually named after him. Cheer up Charlie, WGTT might be able to get you and Shelton over enough so that people will remember you as the Marty Jannetty of the team 5 or 10 years from now. Stay on “Raw”.
Jeff Hardy - The IC title is beneath him, the World Title is above him. What can Jeff Hardy do? After single handedly reestablishing the Intercontinental title, and watching Santino Marella single handedly give it less clout than the WCW TV title when it was pulled out of a garbage can, Hardy should take his extreme self to the ECW brand to give it some star power, and take the place of what will hopefully be a departing CM Punk.
JTG - Wow, who gives a crap about JTG? He'll stay on “Raw” with Shad until Vince wants to make Shad into something greater. Then JTG will become Scotty 2 Hotty 2.0, wearing his gimmick even thinner while jobbing on “SmackDown!” each week.
The Great Khali - No one has traded brands more recently than the Great Khali, and no one has less to do creatively than him after both tapping and being pinned by John Cena. You can send him on a World Tour to let Lashley and Batista do the same, or you can just release the big guy. I will say, however, no matter how much he sucks in the ring, he is a draw just based on his size and look. Leave him on “Raw” I guess, but who cares?
Santino Marella - I would move him if he wasn't the IC champ. Keep him, and the belt on “Raw”, but give the belt to someone who has clout or will be a main eventer someday.
Chris Masters - Masters is languishing as well, but his bread and butter is likely to be on the “Raw” brand, as he doesn't seem to fit on any other show. Hopefully he will step up his game in the next year.
Robbie McAllister - The Highlanders should move to “SmackDown!” with The Boogeyman and everything else that should be aimed basically to the younger audience.
Rory McAllister - See Robbie. (I'm Robbie!)
Trevor Murdoch - Stay on “Raw”.
Johnny Nitro - Either let him be a U.S. or IC title contender, or find a legit tag team partner for the guy. I was playing "'SmackDown!' VS. 'Raw'" yesterday and remembered how sweet the guy was when paired with Melina just based on his entrance alone. He may not have gotten over to the company's liking, but right when he started to catch on, they pulled the red rug from underneath him. I say leave him on “Raw”, give him back his girlfriend, and give him something to do. Melina's Women's title run has played itself out anyways.
Randy Orton - Orton is rumored to be Triple H's opponent for SummerSlam, which means an extended stay on “Raw”. His last move to “SmackDown!” wasn't very productive anyways. If I were Vince, I would throw him on ECW, as a brand of punishment. It wouldn't be too harsh, however, as he'd feud with Lashley over the World Title.
Chuck Palumbo - Harley riding Chucky P has no real significance. Leave the guy on “Raw” and see what happens.
Umaga - I'd keep him on “Raw” and prepare him for a new program with John Cena, but that may be all but ruined now that Cena has beaten both Umaga and Khali. Cena/Snitsky anyone? Didn't think so.
Val Venis - Basically forgotten is Val Venis. This guy needs to be more than just enhancement talent, as I have said before. He has the look, the mic skills, and the in-ring ability. Send him to “SmackDown!” and have him serve in an enforcer/bodyguard role for Edge. Play up their Canadian background as a reason for them being together, play up Edge mistreating Val, and then remind fans that Edge dumped Val's sister years ago. Then start an Edge/Sean Morley blood feud over the Heavyweight title. Morley doesn't have to win, he just deserves a push.
Viscera - Who would have thought that King Mabel would still have a job? His only usefulness is to seem like he'd be a contender in Battle Royals. Leave him on “Raw” or release him.
Inactive “Raw” Talent:
Armando Estrada - Bring him back to light the fire under Umaga that makes him a contender again.
Shawn Michaels - Leave him on “Raw”.
Super Crazy - Move to “SmackDown!” to be a Cruiserweight or to ECW to be his old ECW-self. On “Raw” feuding with Chris Masters, the guy is a bathroom break.
Triple H - Stay on “Raw”.
Active “SmackDown!” Talent:
Batista - Leave him on “SmackDown!” to be a major babyface character, until the time is right to pull the trigger on a Cena/ Batista feud. When it seems that Cena has vanquished all the monsters, he will see what it is like to run into an animal.
Chris Benoit - A move to “Raw” and a legitimate purpose would do Benoit a lot of good. Hold up your four fingers (that's wishful thinking!).
The Boogeyman - Stay on “SmackDown!”, be all goofy, have kids like you, whatever...
Daivari - I have a strict Cruiserweights on “SmackDown!” policy. Why, if you weighed under 220, would you want to be anywhere else? Leave him.
Deuce - Leave him.
Domino - Leave him.
Edge - Leave him for now. As I said, some type of shake up before WrestleMania setting up Edge/Triple H and Batista/Cena sounds like a good idea, but it's too soon.
Finlay - Finlay has a lot of momentum on the “SmackDown!” brand that could be lost in another setting. I would leave him.
Funaki - Cruiserweight, stay on “SmackDown!”.
Chavo Guerrero - Kerwin White? Stay on “SmackDown!”
Matt Hardy - If people want a Matt Hardy push, it will have to come on ECW. He is not good enough to main event on “Raw” or “SmackDown!”. He may be able to wrestle, but he is boring and he can't talk for shit.
Mark Henry - Another monster to line in front of the champ? Move him to “Raw”. He's injured all the “SmackDown!” guys, and Henry/Edge isn't exactly a money match.
Kane - A Kane/Edge program would not be too bad, but they may have missed the bus on Kane being pissed about Edge's opportunistic MITB win over his brother. I think he should stay put however, because “SmackDown!”is his best chance of another World Title run before he retires.
Brian Kendrick - Stay on “SmackDown!”.
Paul London - Stay on “SmackDown!”.
The Miz - You don't matter to anyone, so either die or stay on “SmackDown!”
Shannon Moore - Cruiser, stay on “SmackDown!”
Jamie Noble - Cruiser, stay on “SmackDown!”.
Montel Vontavious Porter - U.S. Champ? Stay on “SmackDown!” .
William Regal - Stay on “SmackDown!”
Dave Taylor - Stay on “SmackDown!”
Jimmy Wang Yang - Cruiser, Stay on “SmackDown!”
Inactive “SmackDown!” Talent:
Gregory Helms - Breaks the Cruiser policy. He had the longest Cruiserweight run EVER, and he's done about all he can do there. Send him to “Raw” as an IC title contender, possibly as a babyface to feud with Johnny Nitro.
Mr. Kennedy - He's going to have a score to settle with Edge. Leave him on “SmackDown!” .
King Booker - Move to “Raw” to feud with Cena or my wishful new Horsemen faction.
Rey Mysterio - With Batista and possibly a turned Mr. Kennedy, Rey is the babyface fuel that drives “SmackDown!”. That is until Batista turns heel and John Cena moves to the brand.
The Undertaker - The most controversial decision? Move him to “Raw”. When he is healthy, he will give Umaga, Khali, and other's someone to feud with, and if Cena does leave “Raw”, he will give them the babyface they need to keep drawing kids.
Active ECW Talent:
Elijah Burke - This guy could be money everywhere. I would have to look at the big picture to see where he should end up. He will probably stay put to give ECW some needed star power.
CM Punk - Move to “SmackDown!” to feud with MVP.
Marcus Cor Von - Move to “Raw”.
Tommy Dreamer - Stay put.
Bobby Lashley - Stay put.
Balls Mahoney - Stay put.
Brett Major - Stay put.
Brian Major - Stay put.
Nunzio - Stay put.
Stevie Richards - Stay Put.
The Sandman - Stay Put.
Snitsky - I guess they are moving him to “Raw” to be Cena's next opponent, but Mark Henry makes a lot more sense, and Snitsky and Lashley have some unfinished business. I would keep him on ECW.
Matt Striker - Stay Put.
Kevin Thorn - A better choice for a Cena feud than Snitsky, but not as good as Mark Henry. Stay put for now, but be ready to break out by this time next year.
Inactive ECW Talent:
Hardcore Holly - Stay Put.
WWE Divas - Here is my policy. If they can wrestle, put them on “Raw”. If they can't, divide them between “Raw” and “SmackDown!”. Maria and Torrie Wilson are taking up space that could be occupied by Jillian Hall and perhaps Michelle McCool.
Referees, Ring Announcers, Commentators - No one gives a shit, so don't waste time moving them.
My mind is subject to change, as I have not yet really looked at a final roster of these brands based upon the moves that I have made. I do know that I gave ECW some more star power and a shot in the arm. I took some good wrestlers off of “Raw”, but gave them a few talented workers and the possibility of a Horsemen stable to counteract the John Cena/Hogan-esque downing of the monsters that WWE seems to want to do right now.
I gave Edge some decent guys to feud with, although there is an assumption that somehow Edge and Mr. Kennedy will move to “Raw”, and John Cena will move to “SmackDown!” to feud with a heel Batista, both before WrestleMania, giving “Raw” Taker, HBK, HHH, Edge, Benoit, Flair while “SmackDown!” has Cena, Batista, Kennedy, Punk, Carlito, Mysterio, MVP. ECW becomes a bit stronger with Lashley, Orton, Burke, and The Hardys.
As far as real predictions go, I don't really have any. My only real prediction for the draft is this: No matter who gets moved where, I think “SmackDown!” is going to get raped hardcore.
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Wednesday, May 23, 2007
The Big Boom Theory
Weeks ago, I was perusing the internet for wrestling news, much as I would on any other day. This has become a part of my routine, not necessarily because I want it to be, but because the current landscape of professional wrestling demands it.
There was a time when rifling off the complete title histories of all the major WWE belts was impressive. There was a time when knowing that Goldust was Dustin Rhodes and Kama was Papa Shango without ever reading it on a dirt sheet made you impressed. However, since about 1996, you couldn't begin to consider yourself a real wrestling fan unless you could keep up with the ever-growing population of smart marks.
To be honest, there are times when I would prefer it the old way. When someone jumped to a new promotion, just the shock and surprise would be enough to make that a moment.
Not to say that Chris Jericho's debut on "Raw" wasn't one of the greatest "Raw" moments ever. I just think I would have appreciated it more if I hadn't known it was coming for months in advance. I digress.
When I was looking through the dirt sheets, I came across a statement, either by Vince or Linda McMahon stating that pro wrestling was about to reach another boom period. It almost pains me that the owners of the only real major wrestling company in the United States are so accepting of the business' cyclical nature, but what can you do?
In the 80's, Vince stood atop the world with the greatest superstars from every territory and built an unstoppable national brand. When Ted Turner bought that talent away from him, Vince created new superstars with a more edgy up-to-date attitude, and took his audience back. These are the periods that fans of today really look back on with a great deal of sentiment. Whether it's Hogan slamming Andre or Austin throwing the Rock's belt off a bridge, these are the moments you always remember and these are the superstars you will never forget.
If the Attitude Era were a large plentiful orange in 1997, WWE was squeezing the hell out of it still in 2006 in order to quench the fans' thirst. For the first time, however, they now seem like they are ready to move on. The most telling example? In my opinion: the recent release of "SmackDown!" superstar, Scotty 2 Hotty. Nothing screamed hanging on to 1997 like this guy doing the Too Cool shtick ten years later.
Since the name change (from Federation to Entertainment), WWE has put a great deal of time and money into a number of guys who wouldn't pan out. WWE's NWO was a short-lived storyline due to injuries to Kevin Nash and the conduct of Scott Hall. Hulk Hogan has been in and out enough to defeat some of the more consistent WWE superstars, but at what benefit to the company when he disappears again?
For a full year, Goldberg and Brock Lesnar were at the top of there respective brands until they both decided to leave at the same time. The Rock, the brightest star from the Attitude Era who could still compete, retired to pursue his movie career. WWE chose to let go of the Dudley Boyz, who admittedly had a tired routine, but were the only real established tag team left in the company. Chris Jericho and Christian were in the title picture at SummerSlam and then were gone before Royal Rumble.
WWE put a lot of time into establishing Muhammed Hassan, but Hassan quit after his controversial storyline on network TV called for his removal from TV. Kurt Angle, one of WWE's top guys took his release and ran to Orlando. Then WWE lost its three most established divas: Stacy Keibler, Trish Stratus and Lita. The last really big name to quit is The Big Show. Any of these releases alone, not a big deal. All of them together? Pretty significant. And no wrestling fan can fail to figure in the deaths of Owen Hart and Eddie Guerrero as well.
Looking at the names listed above and the efforts WWE has put into many of those guys over the past seven years, it's amazing they are doing as well as they are right now. Almost every single person listed was a poor investment by the company.
However WWE brushed that dirt off their shoulder, and looked to Triple H, Shawn Michaels and The Undertaker to be the workhorses while developing guys like John Cena, Batista, Randy Orton and most recently Bobby Lashley and Ken Kennedy.
However, right when Vince and company are ready for "the new boom period" in professional wrestling with this new crop of talent, the three aforementioned workhorses all go down to injury. Along with them are Rey Mysterio, King Booker, Ken Kennedy and Gregory Helms. All of this taking place while Rob Van Dam is heavily rumored to be on his way out the door.
In the aftermath, we are essentially seeing the dissolution of the brand extension, with superstars frequently crossing TV show borders. The shake up to the "Raw" brand has been astronomical, as the main storylines from the past year include DX VS. The Big Show or Rated RKO, and now none of those guys are active. John Cena has carried the weight as champion, but his number one antagonist, Edge has left to go to "SmackDown!" and carry the ball. What do wrestling fans get out of that? This past Monday's "Raw".
It's hard to be tough on WWE considering all the circumstances they are dealing with currently. Reading that the difference between a fan of wrestling and a mark is that a mark never asks questions might be a fairly accurate statement, but a fan of wrestling should also take into consideration what exactly has lead to the current product they are being fed.
So wrestling fans are forced to look at the evolution of Bobby Lashley. As Lashley prepares for his ECW World Title street fight with Mr. McMahon at One Night Stand, it's hard to forget that Lashley wasn't even originally intended for the hair VS. hair Battle of the Billionaires at WrestleMania 23. The WWE brass wanted Hogan VS. The Big Show in a recreation of Hogan's triumphant victory over Andre the Giant at WrestleMania III.
With major superstars dropping like flies around him, you would think that WWE would be nervous about putting Lashley in the ring four times in one night. What happens if Lashley suffers a similar fate? Under the circumstances, what can WWE really do?
Call me a mark, but I have to admit, I wasn't really turned off by Lashley on "Raw" this past week. His match against Chris Masters told a great story. Masters was looking for revenge because of Lashley breaking his Masterlock. I really appreciated that when Masters hooked the move, Lashley's only escape was the ropes. This was in the first match of the gauntlet, so being fatigued wasn't an excuse. It would have been okay to have Lashley, the one guy that broke the move before, break it again, but they went a different route, and Masters looked good in the match. Even in a loss, he was reestablished a bit.
Viscera is another who looked good in his match. Obviously he wasn't going to win, but he took Lashley to his limit. It was all reminiscent of Randy Savage going through the World Title tournament at WrestleMania IV. Lashley's match with Shane was great too. Shane always shows that he has the goods in the ring. So much so that I could deal if HE were the ECW champ and not his dad. The Hurricane DDT and the constant working of the back that made Lashley's powerslam ineffective were both highlights.
It almost seems that Vince has a vendetta against Brock Lesnar for leaving. It seems as though he is trying to send a message week in, week out that he could have done what he did with Brock with any man. You know Bobby Lashley is making a lot of money, and I have to think that even though Brock wasn't big on the schedule, that he second guesses himself while he's getting potato'ed in the mush by his sparring partners.
Still, while every Lashley match was decent on "Raw" this week, he is not the type of draw that makes that work. It is not the same as Triple H running the gauntlet on "SmackDown!" years ago. How do I know? Because TBS was showing "Family Guy" reruns and ION was showing "The Wonder Years", and I spent more time flipping back and forth between those shows than I did actively watching "Raw". HBK and Edge were two of the best reasons to watch the show, and with both gone, WWE needs to find a better filler than "The Bobby Lashley Variety Hour".
What was meant to be a "boom" has turned into a period where it's not so great to be a wrestling fan. It's a time where dirt sheet reports are full of injuries, surgeries and releases. It's a period where guys with poor conduct like Randy Orton, or poor workrate like Mark Henry and The Great Khali, are being rewarded by circumstance. Vince McMahon has held dynamite in his hands. Instead of the fireworks he expected, it exploded in his face. A lot of his top guys at the moment aren't getting any younger, and the ones that are still young have not had enough time to develop in the ring or maturity-wise.
Every move that WWE makes right now is critical. Every signing, every release and every push is essential to sustaining the momentum the company had been building over the past year. Every booking, every storyline and every angle needs to be carefully constructed to maintain the relationships with fans who have tuned in over the past seven years to see people who will likely not be on their televisions this summer.
What is WWE's best option? In my opinion, it is the elevation of Chris Benoit back to main event status and a lengthy, very personal feud with Edge over the World Heavyweight title. Then possibly when Triple H, The Undertaker, HBK, Ken Kennedy, Rey Mysterio and King Booker all return, we can rig the explosives right this time and kick off the next real boom period in professional wrestling.
More on This Story...
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Scorekeeping: Lockdown
Welcome to what I hope to have as a monthly feature here on PWP, entitled Scorekeeping. What Scorekeeping will be is a review of TNA's monthly pay-per-view on a match by match basis. If in the event I happen to see a WWE PPV during that month, Scorekeeping will be head-to-head between TNA and WWE. This month, the inaugural edition of Scorekeeping happens to be one of those special months as April hosted the Granddaddy of Them All Wrestlemania.
WWE's Wrestlemania 23 took place on April 1st and immediately after seeing it I thought it was a poor April Fool's Joke that had cost me $50. It just didn't feel like Wrestlemania to me. TNA's Lockdown took place this past Sunday night, April 15th and was a giant opportunity to out-perform WWE, not in terms of sales but at least in terms of actual quality considering how un-Wrestlemania like Wrestlemania actually was.
So let's get to it. Please not that the matches are not presented in the exact order (although they are pretty close) they appeared on the PPV.
Openers: Money in the Bank vs. X-Division Escape
Money in the Bank is almost always a good time and with performs such as Edge and the Hardy Boyz involved this was the perfect way to start Wrestlemania. The finish was a little off for me but overall it did its job and got everyone into the show. B+
The X-Division is TNA's backbone. They have built a federation using the insane stunts and high powered performances of the X-Division wrestlers. So what isn't to like when you stick five guys in a steel cage and tell them to go at it with the winner gaining or retaining the X-Division Title? It was missing a few things that could have made it better but just like the Money in the Bank match at Wrestlemania, it did its job and got everyone into the show. B
Mid-Card: The Great Khali / Kane vs. Senshi / Austin Starr
Khali and Kane. Two monster behemoths with whom no one wants to play. Despite their size the two put on a decent match, just not Wrestlemania quality. C+
As with all the Lockdown matches, Senshi vs. Austin Starr was in the Six Sides of Steel. I have not been a big fan of Austin Starr but he put on a great performance for this match putting over Senshi. B
Mid-Card: Chris Benoit / MVP vs. Robert Roode / Petey Williams
Benoit is one of the best technical wrestlers still wrestling today, unfortunately he has terrible mic skills and no one has ever really been able to use him well, except maybe when he was part of the Horsemen. MVP looks like a deranged Power Ranger, so I fully expected Benoit to rip him apart. Good match but nothing I will remember. B
Robert Roode's new Million Dollar Man type gimmick is tiring and I have never really liked him in the ring but I really like Petey Williams as an in-ring performer. Surprisingly Roode put on a very good performance and got the win, nothing special but entertaining. B
Mid-Card: Undertaker / Batista vs. Christopher Daniels / Jerry Lynn
The Undertaker has never lost at Wrestlemania so the outcome here was not in question. What was in question was if Batista and Undertaker could put on an entertaining match to get to the ending everyone knew was coming. The answer was yes. B
Christopher Daniels vanished for a couple months before emerging with a new tattoo. While he was gone Jerry Lynn made a case for geriatrics wrestling. Upon his return Daniels singled out Lynn as his first target for cleansing. The storyline going in was trash but with these two performers you were not going to get a stinker. B
Mid-Card: ECW Originals / New Breed vs. Team 3D / LAX
Taking the original stars of the ECW and pitting them against the new "stars", and I use the term loosely, of the ECW seemed like too much roster, not enough space for everyone. It turned out RVD is out of the doghouse though (afraid he might jump ship Vince?) as he gets the win in a short yet entertaining match. B
The Dudley's Legacy against LAX's tag titles. In the culmination of a almost four months of feuding Team 3D met LAX in the "electrified" steel cage. I guess dimming the lights blue and having an annoying hum radiate throughout the arena makes the cage electrified. Whatever. Take out the "electrification" of the match and it actually is pretty good, with some great action in the cage, but the terrible handling of the gimmick brings this down a notch. C+
Super Gimmick: McMahon / Trump vs. The Blindfold Match
When I heard the big gimmick match for Wrestlemania was going to be a hair match involving Vince and the Donald I cringed. On paper it was a disaster. In practice Vince put on the second best performance of the show, even with Trump's terrible punches. Shane hitting the dropkick from the other side of the ring was just icing on the cake. B+
James Storm hits Chris Harris in the face with a beer bottle, supposedly blinding him in one eye. Harris wants revenge and months after America's Most Wanted had broken up the two come face-to-face in a grudge match. To make it even both combatants must wear an execution bag over their head (Hey I thought this was a blindfold match), that hardly ever stays on. Regardless it is the worst match I've seen since returning to wrestling, the crowd hated it, I hated it and I think even Storm and Harris hated it. F
Girls, Girls, Girls: Melina / Ashley vs. Gail Kim / Jackie Moore
The WWE has the women to do it but for some reason cannot put together a decent women's match for Wrestlemania. Instead we get a Lumber Jill match involving Ashley and Melina and the rest of the WWE tramp patrol. At least it was short. D+
TNA does not have the women to have a decent division but they do have two that can put on a hell of a match when given the opportunity. Gail Kim flying off the top of the cage just proves that these ladies are more than able to get the job done. Before they go full steam ahead into women's wrestling though they need to expand to two hours of television time. B
Main Event: John Cena / The Heart Break Kid vs. Lethal Lockdown
I've never liked John Cena. To me he signifies everything that is wrong with Vince's approach to his stars. HBK on the other hand has been a favorite of mine since he was part of The Rockers. I so thought HBK was going to get the win and maybe a nice farewell tour before he retired but instead Cena got the win. Surprisingly though this was actually a very good match, not great but very good. Cena failed to sell his leg injury (did he get a cortisone shot mid match?) but overall he worked real well with Michaels. B
The Lethal Lockdown. Two teams, 10 men, one cage. The build-up to this match was done very well and despite my distaste for Jeff Jarrett this (see Two Words, One Man) match still held my attention. All night, all eyes were on Jarrett to see if he could be trusted and it turns out he can be. Lethal Lockdown is exactly why I like TNA. The top ten stars for the company in an extreme cage match. I wasn't thrilled with the ending, despite being a huge Sting fan, but overall Lethal Lockdown shined as the match of the night. B+
Totals: Using a 4.0 Grade Point Average scale, the WWE's Wrestlemania comes in with a 2.88 GPA while TNA's Lockdown nabs a 2.63 GPA. Considering Wrestlemania is the WWE's flagship PPV, TNA should be proud that they put on an entertaining show that only cost their fans $30 (as compared to Wrestlemania's $50 price tag). TNA still has a good amount to improve on but they are steadily improving and Vince might want to keep watch a little bit more, improving his product along the way.
Check back next month when I will score TNA's Sacrifice PPV and feel free to send your comments and questions to me at pwp.chris@gmail.com
