Weight Classes Could Help Drug Problem in Wrestling

When you turn on the television to watch wrestling, what do you see? Big beefy bodies usually. Tall, muscular heavyweight wrestlers are the rule of thumb in wrestling, for a variety of reasons.

I do not think the average person understands how difficult it is for a person to weigh in over 200 lbs. on a six foot frame and have a low body fat percentage. There is a reason that people that have body types like that are on the covers of magazines and can make good money with such a physique - it is not common. And, while having the talent to become a WWE star is not common either, proficiency at a sport does not necessarily require the physique of a Greek god.

Look at the sport of football. Big beefy offensive linemen are often promoted as being complete pigs because of their physique. Hell, football players like Mike Golic have even made careers after their playing days on the idea that linemen are eating machines. I’m sure everyone has heard a story about a local pro, college, or even high school team’s linemen going to some kind of buffet and being asked to leave after eating plate upon plate of food. In the NFL, these guys are athletes of the highest magnitude, and weigh an average of 285 lbs.

I ask you to take a look at your favorite NFL team next Sunday. How many of those players look as “ripped” as the WWE wrestlers? How many of them are built like bodybuilders? These guys are of the same height and weight as required by the WWE and are some of the highest paid athletes on the planet. They are required to be in the best possible physical condition to compete at the highest level of their sport.
Not to look like they are in the top condition to compete at the highest level.

According to people that I have spoken to that have been to places like OVW, or that have been scouted by Vince McMahon’s World Wrestling Entertainment, Inc., the only major wrestling promotion in the United States is not interested in any wrestlers who are under 250 pounds, and under 6’2” tall. In addition to those minimum requirements, they expect their wrestlers to have “the look”. “The Look” is a catch-all term meaning “the look of a bodybuilder”.

Chris Masters is a great example of this. This is a guy that, from the outside looking in, was not a great wrestler. The WWE even promoted him as having the body of a Greek god – thus he was branded “The Masterpiece”. Outside pressures (such as wrestlers dying and/or murdering their families) forced the WWE to start testing its competitors for steroids and other performance enhancing drugs and illegal narcotics such as marijuana. Suddenly, Masters found himself suspended. Then, he was ridiculed on television for losing weight while not taking the banned substances. It should be no surprise then that he failed another test, and was suspended again shortly after gaining most of his muscle mass back.

Last week, Masters was suspended yet again, and then released. No where did we hear any reports about McMahon or the WWE putting Masters into a drug counseling program, or the FBI or ATF questioning him about where he was getting these substances. This kid was chewed up and spit out by the WWE machine simply because he had “the look” and they required him to maintain this look. Afterall, wrestling skill was not important.

I am willing to bet that there are about 25 wrestlers who had a fair amount of publicity and reputation that, if they had debuted in the WWE in 2005, could have gained a fan following and drawn more money for the company than Masters. But, they were not winners of amateur bodybuilding contests like Masters. Nor were they all over six feet tall.

Simply put, the WWE does not hire the best wrestlers in the world; they hire people who look like models. Alex Rodriguez is poised to become the highest paid athlete in the planet, and I guarantee that not one team that is thinking of signing him has debated whether or not he has “the look” of a baseball player. No, A-Rod can prove all he needs to with a look at his stats. If he looks nice in his underwear, maybe he can pick up modeling work endorsing… underwear. Charles Barkley was always known as the “Round Mound of Rebound” because he was pudgy. Barkley also was a multiple time all-star and is on his way to the hall of fame because he could play basketball. Not because he had six pack abs.

So, why is having “the look” so important in wrestling? A look that, simply put, is not natural.

According to the American Heart Lung and Blood Institute, a person who is 6’2” and 250 lbs is obese. A person of that size would have a Body Mass Index of 32.1 – 2.1 points over the obesity threshold. While the ignorant masses watching RAW every Monday may look at stars such as John Cena and think that this is what an athlete is supposed to look like, it is actually the exact opposite. Looking like what the WWE wants is unhealthy.

I think there is a simple solution to all of this: weight classes.

The hottest fighting sport in the world right now is the Ultimate Fighting Championships. UFC is destroying the WWE when it comes to pay-per-view. UFC PPV events average about 400,000 buys – and they now take place on a monthly basis. While they may not generate the television revenue that WWE does, UFC sells nearly double what WWE does on PPV. When you ask people to name UFC stars they will often name Chuck Liddell, Randy Couture, Quinton Jackson, Rich Franklin, and Ken Shamrock. Except for Couture, none of those men fight as heavyweights for UFC. And Couture has fought most of his career as both a heavyweight, and a light heavyweight.

So, if no one wants to see average size people fight, why is UFC destroying WWE at the PPV box office? While there are a variety of factors why UFC may be a booming business, my argument is that the size of the competitor is not one of them.

Vince McMahon and people of his same train of thought will tell you that people will not pay to see “small” wrestlers because they want to be entertained by “larger than life characters”. That mentality comes from the fact that for years, the most prestigious title in all of sports was the Heavyweight Champion of the World. In Boxing. Why was it prestigious? Because the heavyweight division had characters like John L. Sullivan, Jack Johnson, Rocky Marciano, Muhammad Ali, George Foreman, Joe Frazier, and many, many more. These were all first class athletes, sure. They also were first class personalities. Guys like Jerry Cooney may have been good fighters, but they had no personality, so they were not stars. Roy Jones, Ray Leonard, Shane Mosley, Oscar de la Hoya – these guys are stars too because they had personality – despite not being heavyweights.

The WWE machine is about creating and branding a “personality”, rather than letting an athlete’s real personality shine thru. The territory days and the studio style of promo have gone away in favor of the WWE telling someone what their personality is. The WWE does not sign the best personalities it can find, they go for the bodies that define what wrestling should be to Vince McMahon.

What UFC has done is find a formula for promoting the personalities of their fighters in a way the WWE no longer does. UFC has press conferences, interviews with legitimate media outlets, and lets their fighters be themselves on their television shows such as “The Ultimate Fighter”. UFC has promoted their heavyweights as hard hitting and their smaller fighters as quick and exciting. Guys weighing in at 170lbs and standing 6’5” is not as uncommon as you might think. Heavyweights weighing in at 265 lbs and not having ripped six pack abs are the norm. Hell, guys like Chuck Liddell even get over with the fans because their bodies are more like a “working man”. UFC shows the monster eight hour workouts that guys like Tito Ortiz put themselves thru – and you see that Ortiz isn’t as ripped as Chris Masters. Ortiz trains to fight. Vince McMahon seems to have forgotten that is what is supposed to be going on in the ring – a fight.

“Weight Class” is a dirty phrase in wrestling. Everyone wants to be heavyweight champ, not a “junior” champ. Well, at least in the United States. Other than when WCW promoted the Cruiserweight Division in the late 1990’s, no major promotion in the US has given non-heavyweights a forum to get over a different style of ring work. In Japan, maybe you could debate if it was more prestigious to be the IWGP Heavyweight or Junior Heavyweight Champion in New Japan. In Mexico, the most prestigious championships are the CMLL and NWA Light Heavyweight Championships. In UFC, the division where the big money marquee matches are is the Light Heavyweight. Two guys under 200 lbs. fighting for a title can draw 20,000 paying fans to an arena in Japan, Mexico, and the US – but not for the WWE. Or so says Vince McMahon.

Currently, the WWE has three different heavyweight championships. They have zero singles championships for non-heavyweights (or did you not notice that the Cruiserweight Championship disappeared after Hornswaggle won it?). Is it even at all possible to conceive that there are not enough wrestlers out there less than 200 lbs. for the largest wrestling company in the world to put together a division for them, but they have so many good heavyweights that they put together three different divisions for them?

Maybe the WWE product would become less stale, fewer wrestlers would die, and ratings and buyrates would increase if the WWE actually promoted wrestling by athletes instead of crappy acting by bodybuilders.
Here is what the WWE could do:

Hold a tournament to merge the Raw, Smackdown and ECW Heavyweight titles, as well as the US and Intercontinental titles. The winner would be the only heavyweight holding a singles title in the WWE. Plenty of room in this division for guys like HHH, Batista, Undertaker, Mark Henry, Khali, Randy Orton, Bobby Lashley, Ken Kennedy, John Cena, and others.

Hold a sixteen man cruiserweight tournament, with the winner getting the revived Cruiserweight Championship. This would only be for wrestlers who weigh less than 200 lbs., such as Super Crazzy, Matt Hardy, Shawn Michaels, Carlito Colon, Cody Rhodes, Chavito Guerrero, Montel Porter, Greg Helms, Elijah Burke, Stevie Richards, and Edge.

Introduce a “Welterweight” Championship for wrestlers weighing less than 175lbsWrestlers such as Shannon Moore, Rey Misterio, Jr., Jimmy Yang, Jeff Hardy, Spanky Kendick, Paul London, CM Punk, The Miz, and John Morrison could compete in this division.

I’m not even going to get into tag teams, as that could be another topic completely (Hmmm… next week’s blog topic?!?), but you cannot tell me that the prospect of a card with three big title matches consisting of Batista/Undertaker, Hardy/MVP and Morrison/Punk would draw worse then anything they do now – because that is the same damn thing they are pushing now.

The difference is that by introducing titles for different weight classes, you keep wrestlers healthy, and you have to bring something to that weight class to get a shot in the first place. Bigger isn’t always better.

Just ask Chris Masters.


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Don't Miss CNN's Death Grip

Tonight I plan on watching the presentation from CNN Special Investigations Unit, "Death Grip - Inside Pro Wrestling."

Death Grip is a look at the professional wrestling industry and what has become of it. Analysis of the increase in deaths by various causes is what they will focus on.

This is a replay of the event, tonight (Saturday, November 10th). A good friend of mine caught this show when it originally aired on Tuesday night and he highly recommended it.

Check out the rundown of the show at this link. Looks like the McMahons have quite a bit to say on the topic. Come back to the Pundit and let us know what you think after you watch the show.

-NAPALM-

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Chyna Changes her Name, Challenges Vince

Joanie Laurer, former WWE wrestler turned porn star, turned train wreck, has legally changed her name and is now looking to change Vince McMahon's face.

The lady who at one time was the women's champion of the WWE, has also challenged Vince McMahon to a one-time match.

She claims the challenge has to do with the way she has been treated by Vince the last 8 years, although I could not find any reports of mistreatment towards her on Vince's part.

I hope this move turns out to be a positive thing for Chyna, now that she can legally call herself that without worry of legal pressure from Vince. Since her departure from the WWE, it has been a consistent down slide featuring drug abuse, bad relationships and desperate attempts for attention. This is truly just her latest attempt for that attention she seems to deserve, but hopefully, it will be enough of an internal victory that she can begin to move on and continue to rebuild her livelihood.

Check out the interview on TMZ.com, Here.

-NAPALM-

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“HITMAN” PUTS HIMSELF IN THE CROSSHAIRS FOR TELL-ALL MEMOIR

By Anthony Kingdom James for ProWrestlingPundit.blogspot.com

When I was in my early teens, growing up in the Toronto suburb of Scarborough, my friends Bobby and Wayne introduced me to the exciting world of professional wrestling. Soon, we were watching every minute of every match we could get our hands on. There was Jim Crockett’s NWA from the Mid-Atlantic States. Verne Gagne’s AWA from the mid-west. The hours upon hours of Japanese tapes the Wayne brought home from his job as a dish-washer in a local sushi restaurant. The three hours of Bill Watts’ incredible UWF promotion that my cousin had on tape. A new version of Stampede Wrestling was being shown across Canada on TSN. And of course, there was Vince McMahon’s WWF.

Back then, there were three wrestlers in the WWF (now WWE) that I couldn’t get enough of: The Dynamite Kid, Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart and Bret “The Hitman” Hart. The latter two formed a tag team aptly named “The Hart Foundation”. When we wrestled on the lawn next to our apartment building, that’s exactly who Wayne and Bobby and I thought we were. Dynamite, The Anvil and The Hitman. Then, as well as now, I was shaped more like Neidhart, so that was the part I played... but man, did I want to be Bret Hart.

As the Dynamite Kid’s body succumbed to years of abuse in and out of thering and Neidhart’s star faded, I followed along as Bret Hart’s career blossomed. From opening match “jobber” to mid-card workhorse to World Champion to icon, Hart grew in both stature and ability.

When I became a professional wrestler myself, I was still always more Anvil than Hitman but I tried to emulate Hart in small ways. When I finally had the pleasure of meeting and spending time with Hart in January 2006, he had been living in Italy for some time after remarrying. I tried to soak in every moment I could; asking him questions, listening to his stories... catching him up on NHL and CFL goings-on. And still, those few days only gave me a small window into this man who was still a personal hero to me.

Now, Bret Hart has thrown that window wide open for fans and detractors alike to get a good look at the life of the man behind “The Hitman”.



"Life as a pro wrestler is highly addictive”, says Bret Hart in his new autobiography "Hitman: My Real Life in the Cartoon World of Wrestling". "Once you get a taste for it, your old life fades away and disappears", and oh, what a strange new life awaits those who join Hart and make the journey.

Hart describes a life that harkens the reader to thoughts of living within The Matrix. He paints a picture that makes life on the road as a wrestler sound vibrant, colorful and adventurous yet fraught with pitfalls and temptations. And much like Keanu Reeves’ character of Neo, Hart must learn a very special and sometimes logic-defying fighting system to survive in this surrealistic world. When Hart occasionally disconnects from that life, a life he knows isn't quite real, it means returning home to the drabness of marital strife and the type of familial in-fighting that most people attribute to Shakespeare's writing.... or possibly an
episode of some tawdry afternoon talk show.

The 7-time World Heavyweight champion calls upon over two decades worth of audio journals he recorded during his time on the road as the foundation for writing the monstrous 500+ pages of this book. Hart chronicles his long struggle to protect the honor and integrity of his wrestling persona while admitting to a laundry list of indiscretions in his personal life and Hart's recounting of his life as meticulous as it is scathing. On one hand, Hart praises himself repeatedly for his professionalism as a wrestler; never missing shows, never injuring opponents, never “screwing” anyone. On the other hand, he frankly admits to dabbling in steroid and narcotics use in the spring of his career and having a voracious sexual
appetite. And while he doesn’t absolve himself of his sins, he at least attempts to justify the latter vice by claiming that chasing women distracted him from falling into the bottomless pit of heavy drug and alcohol abuse that swallowed up so many other wrestlers of his generation.

Part of the fun of this weighty tell-all tome is that Hart doesn’t just employ these moral yardsticks for his own behavior but rather as a set of standards that he held everyone to. Both good and bad, Hart scrutinizes the behavior and the work ethic (or lack thereof) of everyone in his life: wrestlers and employers, fans and family. No one is spared, especially those closest to him.

Hart comes off as thoughtful and well-spoken, truthful and deeply emotional. At the same time, he uses the book to offer himself up as one of many martyrs to the wrestling industry. The problem with this is most people expect our martyrs to be humble and while it might be wrong to call Hart braggadocios neither could you quite call him humble. And although a lot has been said, written and put to film about Hart’s life already, this book is a must.

Growing up as one of 12 children.Trying to measure up to his famous father’s reputation and expectations. Learning the art and science of professional wrestling. The growth of his career. The slow death of his marriage. The infamous, industry-altering “Montreal Screw-Job”. The death of his brother Owen. The accident that ended his career. His stroke and recovery. And all of the friends, enemies, parties, fights, triumphs and tragedies in between.

It’s all there and it’s all true, even the "fake" stuff. In fact, the fake stuff may be the truest of all.

"Hitman: My Real Life in the Cartoon World of Wrestling" by Bret Hart is available now in Canada from Random House Publishing. Visit the publisher’s official webpage for the book at http://www.randomhouse.ca/catalog/display.pperl?isbn=9780307355669

* * * * *

Anthony Kingdom James is a former professional wrestler living in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. James now promotes shows under the banner of The Union of Independent Professional Wrestlers. For more information, please visit UIPW’s official website at www.wrestlersunion.ca
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Beth Phoenix – Bringing Legitimacy to Women’s Wrestling

My idea of an entertaining wrestling match is a well-called bout based on a decent storyline with two or more athletically inclined individuals who have spent the time in the gym with the iron to maintain a healthy physique, featuring athleticism to move explosively, gracefully, and powerfully. It does not matter to me if they are men or women as long as I am engaged by physicality (maneuvers, bumps, and mobility) of the bout and the drama of the storyline.

However, for decades, I have thought that Women’s Wrestling in the WWE was lacking in these qualities, often changing the channel or taking a bathroom break when the Women’s matches came on Raw. After all, the WWE Women’s wrestlers have been marketed as little more than eye candy, historically.

What comes to mind as examples of this eye candy filler featured on the weekly programming?

Melina may be in excellent shape, but if I see her enter the ring with the full split under the bottom rope one more time, I’m going to vomit.

Candice Michelle may be shifting to a more athletic style now that she holds the belt, but I am having trouble forgetting all of her dancing in a circle like a stripper for the first year she was in WWE. My memory’s already too tainted.

These women are not the kind of stars I look forward to seeing on a WWE broadcast. I do not want to see fitness models. I can get that on ESPN2 a couple times a year and be happy. I do not want to see soft core porn. I can get that on Showtime.

Sure, Trish Stratus, at the end of her career, was very athletic, but her credibility was lost early on when she had the make-out sessions with Vince McMahon. Her televised matches were meant more to draw ratings from the 35 to 40-year olds who weren’t getting laid than to feature an athletic wrestling encounter.

Lita was an excellent wrestler, of course. Her time spent in Mexico and the Indy’s made her an outstanding wrestler. It’s too bad her career was shortened by her injuries, relationship problems, and that ridiculous boob job she got before she retired. In the end, a marred legacy.

Certainly, Chyna was a phenomenal athlete, combining plenty of gymnastic-style acrobatics along with her power. I will recognize that there have certainly been a handful of good female athletes in the WWE Women’s Ranks. But all three of these women I just mentioned are out of the business, now. The crop of truly athletic female wrestlers is all but dried up on our TV sets.

Until Now. Enter Beth Phoenix.

Beth Phoenix, whose real name is Elizabeth Carolan née Kocanski, grew up less than an hour from where I grew up. She’s from Elmira, New York. As a teenager, I had to drive past that town on the way to get to the nearest mall.

What the community of wrestling fans may not realize is that Beth Pheonix is truly an accomplished wrestler. She’s not just 5 minutes of eye candy like Maria Kanellis. Beth Phoenix is a true athlete. In fact, as the Iron Sheik would say, Beth phoenix is a shooter.

According to her wiki, she was the first female member of the Notre Dame High School varsity wrestling team. Her legitimate wrestling experience does not stop there. She went on to become the North-East freestyle women's champion (72 kg weight class) in 1999. She was the 1999 women's champion (72 kg weight class) at the New York State Fair Tournament and was named the most outstanding wrestler that same year in the Brockport Freestyle Tournament.

Beth Phoenix dreamed of becoming a wrestler, and she belongs inside the ring.

Her resume makes her one of the most qualified members of the entire WWE roster.

I am a strength and conditioning coach, and I can honestly say that amateur wrestling is one of the most physically intense sports, requiring some of the highest levels of conditioning in order to excel. As a practitioner of many different styles of strength training and conditioning protocols, I respect any wrestler who has risen to be champion at any level.

My hat is off to Beth Phoenix and I wish her the best with her career. I hope this article increases the awareness of just how impressive Beth Phoenix’ athletic background is.

Image sources:
Walking to Ring
Wrestling Team

-Napalm Jedd-


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The Cyclical Wrestling Business

So two weeks ago I asked what it is that even makes a superstar? One week ago I talked about professionally wrestling's surprisingly deep free agent market. I got some great responses on a free agent roster that I will share a bit later, but first I want to talk about the cyclical nature of wrestling, because it's an argument that I have heard 1000 times that I am just not buying.

Months ago, Linda McMahon stated that professional wrestling was about to reach another boom period. So what creates these cycles?

Well, the first is simply talent. In the 1980's, Vince McMahon purchased the best superstars from every territory to create his national brand. The chance to see the best of the best from around the world together in something other than a Pro Wrestling Illustrated magazine was undoubtedly exciting, and Vince was printing money.

However, Vince seemed to forget something very important along the way. His business is with human beings. Human beings grow older. Human beings have wants and needs. Pretty soon the early nineties appeared, and many of those from the Rock N' Wrestling Generation had retired. Ted Turner purchased those remaining, much the way they were purchased by Vince a decade earlier.

In the meantime, Vince hadn't created any new stars. He had latched his wagon onto workhorses like Hulk Hogan and let them take him as far as they could pull. So when Hogan was gone, Vince had to turn to Bret Hart and Lex Luger to pull the weight. The results were less than thrilling.

In time, Razor Ramon, Diesel, and Shawn Michaels separated themselves from the pack as special talents. Ramon and Diesel were then lured away by the almighty dollar as well, but luckily for Vince, he had recently acquired the underappreciated former WCW talent Steve Austin, and there was a third generation superstar on the horizon.

Initially Vince stuck with his tired formula. The third generation superstar was called Rocky Miavia, and pushed down the throats of fans as an undeniable babyface. Austin was given the gimmick of the Ringmaster and the Million Dollar Belt to boot. Nothing was going to change ratings until Vince McMahon changed his philosophy.

A rumbling was taking place that would shake the core of professional wrestling. Paul Heyman took a group of WWE and WCW rejects, matched them up with guys no one had ever heard of, and created one of the most exciting products in wrestling history. When the cult following started to become a mainstream fanfare, Vince had the answer.

WWE Attitude took the audience back from WCW and created the second significant wrestling boom of the past 30 years. Much like when Vince McMahon had put all his eggs into Hogan's basket in the 80's, he was going to milk Attitude for all it was worth as the late nineties rolled into the new millennium.

If the Attitude Era were a large plentiful orange in 1997, WWE was still squeezing the hell out of it in 2006 in order to quench the fans thirst. Then one day, Vince woke up and looked at the talent around him. Steve Austin had retired. The Rock had left to go do movies. Mick Foley was not going to be flying off any cages. Instead a new crop of talent surrounded him. Bobby Lashley, Ken Kennedy, Umaga…

Vince decided the first thing to do was release Scotty 2 Hotty. After all, nothing screamed hanging on to 1997 like this guy still doing the Too Cool dance and the worm ten years later.

It was time to shake off a half decade of bad investments. Since the WWF became the WWE, Vince and company have put a great deal of time and money into guys that simply didn't pan out. The emergence of the NWO in the WWE didn't work because of injuries to Kevin Nash and the conduct of Scott Hall. Hulkamania was reignited, but only long enough to give him some big wins over guys like Triple H, Shawn Michaels, and Randy Orton, only to see him disappear again with no real benefit to the company.

For a full year Vince pushed Brock Lesnar on Smackdown and Goldberg on Raw. By the time their dream match was scheduled at Wrestlemania, both had decided that they were done with the WWE, and a retired Steve Austin got the rub from stunning them both on their departure.

WWE chose to let go of the Dudley Boyz. While their routine was admittedly tired, shouldn't they have put someone over on their way out for the future viability of the tag division? What about Christian and Chris Jericho? These guys were in the title picture at Summerslam and then gone before the Royal Rumble.

One can't miss prospect that WWE was looking to was Muhammed Hassan. After the time they put into making Hassan a true contender, he was drafted to Smackdown and then had to be removed from TV for a controversial angle.

It wasn't just the men's department where WWE was hurting. In a short period they lost three of their most established divas as well when Stacy Keibler, Trish Stratus, and Lita all said goodbye.

Just last year The Big Show quit after a lengthy run as ECW champion and a main event program with Degeneration X.

All of these releases as individual instances are not a big deal. All of them together, however, are pretty significant. Figure into that the deaths of Owen Hart and Eddie Guerrero, and you have a recipe for disaster.

It's actually quite impressive that WWE is doing as well as they are right now. With Triple H, Shawn Michaels, and the Undertaker as the corporate backbone, WWE was able to develop John Cena, Batista, Randy Orton, and more into this new crop of superstars.

However, just when things were looking up, Triple H, Shawn Michaels, and the Undertaker go down to injuries. Following suit are Rey Mysterio, King Booker, and Ken Kennedy. Rob Van Dam leaves the company. Chris Benoit kills himself. Edge gets hurt. Bobby Lashley gets hurt. Then after Triple H, Mysterio, and the Undertaker come back, 10-12 superstars get Wellness-related suspensions. When those guys on the Wellness suspensions return, John Cena tears his pectoral muscle.

So John Cena is injured and smarks around the world are rejoicing as if the war in Iraq were finally over. I for one don't see the upside.

Say what you will about John Cena, and wrestling sites have about said it all ad nauseam, but John Cena has proven to be something special. His name on the marquee draws crowds, his image on cotton sells t-shirts, his persona both live and on television stays over, and his programs with Edge, Randy Orton, Triple H, Umaga, and others make for damn good wrestling television.

So what do people have to say about the heir-apparent to the WWE throne? He's no Hulk Hogan. He's no Steve Austin. He's no Rock. You know what? That's completely true.

Hulk Hogan, Steve Austin, and The Rock are arguably the three biggest stars in the history of professional wrestling. John Cena has commonalities with all three men, but he certainly is not able to fill their shoes.

Like the Rock, Cena came into the WWE as a bluechipper. Fans didn't accept his babyface character, and he was quickly pushed into being a heel and developed his own personality. Like Steve Austin, John Cena became an ass-kicking anti hero, as his foul mouth and controversial actions only endeared him more to the WWE crowd. Like Hulk Hogan, he captured the imagination of children everywhere and became an almost unstoppable force.

What the Rock, Steve Austin, and Hulk Hogan had going for them is that they were allowed to be themselves with the volume turned way up. What John Cena has working against him is that he is expected to be some type of amalgamation of those who came before him.

When Randy Orton was kicked out of Evolution shortly after winning the WWE title, he suffered a similar fate. For months, Orton had developed his cocky legend killer character to the point that fans began to like it. When the time came to pull the trigger on Orton's inevitable babyface run, they placed him on the stage and gave him a Rock-esque promo to cut. It didn't work. Why? Well for starters, Randy Orton is not the Rock. He is Randy Orton.

When The Rock finally turned babyface, he did not magically turn into a new generation Hulk Hogan. He stayed true to who he was, and the fans ate that up. This was the character that fans had grown to love. No one wanted to hear The Rock telling us to train, say our prayers, and eat our vitamins.

The more over John Cena's rap character became, the more he got pushed in a direction where he had to fit a mold that was created before him. Cena has since abandoned the throwback jerseys, locks, and chains that brought him to the dance and has adopted the persona of being "The Marine," a role that was initially intended for Steve Austin.

When given mic time, Cena is rarely ever the brash arrogant kid we grew to love. He is often simply too goofy to be taken seriously. It's strange how the Rock can call Umaga a shriveled up monkey penis and it works, but when John Cena calls the Big Show poopy pants it doesn't. It's the same type of sophomoric humor, but it just rolls off The Rock's tongue more naturally.

Then again, I was 14 when I loved hearing the Rock say those things. I am now 24, and I would hope my sense of humor has evolved. Still, when the Rock makes his occasional appearance, I expect this from him and welcome it. When I see John Cena, I would prefer not to see a subpar rehash of places I have already been.

John Cena has had some fantastic matches in his career. Of course Kurt Angle, Chris Benoit, Edge, and Shawn Michaels had the ability to make anyone look like a million bucks, but Cena's recent Summerslam effort against Randy Orton should also serve to silence a lot of critics.

Cena's reputation as a hard worker is well documented. Often I think the criticism he gets for no-selling moves and having a tired predicatable offense is unwarranted, because I believe this is what he is instructed to do by the WWE higher-ups. If Vince McMahon wanted Cena to deliver a consistently better and more diverse in-ring product, I am sure he could step to the plate.

Case and Point: John Cena's injury is not a positive for professional wrestling. It is very much a negative. What Linda McMahon predicted to be a "boom" period for professional wrestling has become a period where the product is really suffering. Those who have enjoyed the most success due to circumstance thus far? The Great Khali and Hornswaggle. There is something wrong with that picture.

Every move that WWE makes right now is critical. Every signing, every release and every push is essential to sustaining the momentum the company had been building over the past year. Every booking, every storyline and every angle needs to be carefully constructed to maintain the relationships with fans who have tuned in over the past seven years to see people who may or may not be on their televisions due to a number of circumstances.

So in this sensitive time period that requires a great deal of focus, what is the WWE doing? A Teddy Long Viagra-induced heart attack and a Hornswaggle/Melina love story. These are two angles that take TV time, and don't build anyone with the ability to draw a dime or even result in a match.

They are building Santino Marella into one of the most interesting superstars on Raw. The problem? On the way there, they are going to further devalue their most underrated talent in Val Venis. Venis has the look, the charisma, and the in-ring ability, yet he is saddled with eternal job duty. What is Marella's ultimate destiny after getting the rub from Val? That's quite simple. He will receive kick-wham-stunner from an inactive Steve Austin. How does this elevate a new superstar? It doesn't.

Triple H gets to destroy Umaga, Carlito, Cade, and Murdoch. Who's next? Well most likely with Cena getting hurt, Orton will be thrown into this match at the pay-per-view and it will be made for the vacant WWE title. It is likely good ole' Trips will bury Orton too on the way to another long meaningless title run, and heck, while he has the belt, let him destroy Ken Kennedy too. What's the point of having something new to look forward to? Right WWE?

Speaking of something new to look forward to, how about Cody Rhodes. Oh yeah, that's right. He is jobbing to Bob Holly. The fans have never accepted Holly as more than a weak midcarder, so Rhodes losing to him on a weekly basis is especially damaging. You think Cody would get a better deal because of his daddy. I guess this is supposed to end with Rhodes earning Holly's respect. Whoopdee shit. I'd rather see Rhodes spit in his face and ask him why in the 15 years he's been in the WWE he hasn't had any real success. Then ask him why he's still going around calling himself Hardcore. In the last WWE Smackdown vs. Raw game, Lawler exclaims, "1998 called, they want their word back." Amen.

Even when Brock Lesnar legit injured Bob Holly, his return to get revenge garnered him no fan support. I am happy Holly beat his terrible staph infection, but that doesn't make him any less boring. Bob Holly never was a star and never will be one. I wish that WWE would wish him the best on his future endeavors, or throw him back on ECW where nothing matters anyways.

If those viral marketing promos are actually for Chris Jericho and not for the new and improved WWE.com featuring old school pics of Dusty Rhodes' valet Sweet Sapphire, wrestling fans around the world need to realize something. I said last week that no one man is going to save the WWE. I take that back. There actually is one guy that has that power. His name is Vince McMahon.

It is up to Vince McMahon and the WWE creative team to build intriguing storylines that make sense, attract viewers, and lead to an even bigger payoff. Until they get that process down, even a returning Chris Jericho is likely to be nothing to get excited about. In fact, he's just another guy for Triple H to run over while we all wait patiently for wrestling's next big boom period.

Chris O offered up his 30 man roster alternative to the WWE

World Championship Division
Sabu
CW Anderson
Rob Van Dam
The Sandman
Steve Corino
Bryan Danielson
Brent Albright
Marcus Cor Von
The Human Tornado

Lightweight Championship Division
Too Cold Scorpio
Austin Starr
Sean Waltman
Jushin Liger
Mistico
TAKA Michinoku
Ultimo Dragon
Matt Bentley
Jack Evans

Tag Team Championship Division
Kings of Wrestling: Chris Hero and Claudio Castagnoli
Jay Briscoe and Mark Briscoe
Joey Mercury and Christian York
The Mexicools: Psicosis and Juventud Guerrera
The Naturals: Chase Stevens and Andy Douglas
Cryme Tyme: JTG and Shad

My fed's roster kinda resembles the original ECW. In the World Title Division there are Originals such as Sabu, Sandman, and RVD. I have guys with technical prowess such as Danielson and Albright. I have a monster in Cor Von, and have Anderson and Tornado in there as heavyweight jobbers. My lightweights are stacked and should provide exciting matches like lightweights in the old ECW. My tag team division is a mix of indy teams like the Kings of Wrestling and the Briscoes, and ex-WWE or TNA teams like Cryme Tyme and the Naturals. If Heyman booked for this fed, it would be able to create a cult following. While it probably wouldn't compete with WWE, it can still be popular on a national stage.

Stephen Straka also gave his 30 man roster
A roster of 30 based on the free agents? Hoo boy.

The first thing I'm gonna do is divide the 30 into groups. 10 slots will be set aside for 5 established tag teams. 6 slots will be for the "devlopers", the type of guys you see winning tons on Heat but jobbing almost everywhere else. Hacksaw and Val Venis for example. Their primary role is to both test the incoming rookies and take under their wings the signed contract that still need some freshening up on the B-show. 1 of the tag team slots will be for this purpose as well. 7 slots will be for the upper-card wrestlers while 7 will be for an X-division.

Tag teams:
- La Resistence; I personally liked their gimmick and they're able to draw heat better than a lot of heels.
- Briscoe Bros.; duh. The only proviso is that they dress up as Mario and Luigi during Halloween episodes. Why? Why not?
- Cryme Tyme; sadly, I never got to see them in any matches aside from squashes but their skits are good for comedy value. Probably most liekly to be the B-show team but again, I haven't seen enough of them to tell.
- Basham Bros.; whatever you're gonna call them, they can be great in the ring if you let them be. Unfortunately, they were used as enforcers, which is never good for your in-ring work.
- Gymini is your "big" team.

Developers:
- Scotty! Even though he's at the tail end of his career, the fans still love the worm and I can see him tearing up the B-show in my promotion.
- Ace Steel; again, getting along in years but still more than capable of main-eventing the B-show. He can also double as a trainer/manager for someone who has a boxing/MMA gimmick given his training ofthe Second City Saints.
- Eugene; it's sad that he never got a chance outside the retard gimmick. I'd probably let him go back to being Mr. Wrestling and make him the heel developer.
-

X-Division:
- Essa Rios!
- TAKA Michinoku!
- Human Tornado!
- Ultimo Dragon!
- Jushin "Thuder" Liger!
- Yuji Nagata!
- Zach Gowen!
In case you haven't figured it out, this will probably be the equivilent of WCW's cruiserweight scene. Lower in the card and don't expect much for English promos but damn if the matches aren't gonna be exciting! Human Tornado gets to be Ken Masters for Halloween. SHOOOORYUKEN!

Upper card:
- Bryan Danielson; DUH
- RVD; ALSO DUH. Robbie V can also do double-duty in the X-division if there's injury or he's not doing anything.
- Mistico; can also slide into the X-division if neccessary
- Big Show and
- Giant Bernard are your monster heels. They can also do double-duty as a monster heel tag team if neccessary.
- Sylvester Terkay; is most likely to have Ace Steel as his trainer/manager
- Brent Albright and
- Monty Brown to round things out

Ideally my promotion would have a Raw/Heat deal with the A and B-shows. The A-show would be two ohurs long so as to give everyone enough exposure.

Karl Belanger checked in with this note on Pierre-Carl Ouellet
Just a quick note on Pierre-Carl Ouellet. He is now a color commentator for the TNA shows on RDS (Quebec's equivalent to ESPN or TSN). He's actually not too bad and way more tolereable than Lawler.

Last week, to my surprise, there was actually a 3 way match shown with him, Christopher Daniels and AJ Styles on the TNA broadcast that took place in Ottawa (not shown on TNA's regular boradcast obviously). He still looks great despite his age and can still work a crowd quite well. I always really liked him in the Quebecers and was always amazed at how well he could move for a big man. WWE wants their version of Samoa Joe? He'd be the perfect guy (much more so than Umaga I feel).

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Hornswoggle: The Luckiest Little Bastard In WWE

Life is good for the Artist Formerly Known as Little Bastard. Not since Little Beaver getting flattened like a pancake by King Kong Bundy at Wrestlemania 3 has a midget gotten this well of a push in the WWE. It's almost a rule of thumb that if you're Samoan or a midget, you've got a good place carved out for you in Pro Wrestling. Some of the more fortunate like Dink The Clown or Max Mini have their share of the spotlight in the past, and even King Cheesey and Little Boogey got their 15 seconds of fame playing second fiddle to their full size counterparts.

It seemed at first that the little guy was doomed the same fate as Finlay's little troublemaker. Hell, he didn't even get a name until about a year in. But he has certainly lived past his potential as he became the first little person to win a singles title in the WWE. Sure, the Cruiserweight Title has been one of the lowest regarded belts around, but what else was there to do with it other than give Chavo Guererro another run? No offense to Kerwin White, but having the Cruiserweight Title at this point does nothing for him, and is just shows that creative has nothing better to do with the title (and honestly, the same can be said about putting it on Rey Mysterio as well.)

With a limited division, it almost seemed logical to give Hornswoggle the Cruiserweight Title. Some argue that it devalues the title, but the win itself was an upset, and it's not like Jamie Noble was jobbed out by taking the pin from him. It hasn't been defended as actively, but with only a handful of contenders available it's best to try and stretch these things out. The one person that has benefited the most from all of this is in fact Noble. He wasn't doing much of anything before, or at least not anything that anyone's cared about. This feud, while mostly comical, has given give Mr. Noble more TV time than he has had since he debuted as Nunzio's cousin. Now that the Championship is vacated, Noble is the most logical choice to give the title to, as he is now the most over man in the Cruiserweight Division.

Now Hornswoggle is living the good life on RAW. He's involved in a major storyline with Vince McMahon thanks to Spoilers leaked onto the internet that Mr. Kennedy was going to be revealed as Mr. McMahon. Call it pure luck, but this at least guarantees job security for the immediate future. While heavily booked now, one would question what is next for him after this angle dies down? Will he be the latest superstar released because they have nothing left for him to do? Will they bring in another midget for him to feud with? Will he become the newest General Manager for one of the three brands? Only time will tell with Hornswoggle, but for right now things are certainly looking up.

More on This Story...

What It Takes To Be A Superstar

For has long as I have been watching professional wrestling, big men with big personalities have dominated sports entertainment.

Occasionally, a unique talent will come through and break the mold. When a man like Dusty Rhodes, Mick Foley, or Rey Mysterio leaves the ring with a World Heavyweight Championship, the fattest, ugliest, and shortest guys find themselves believing that they too could one day realize their wildest dreams.

Now it is undoubtable that Rhodes, Foley, and Mysterio brought their own unique blend of talent and charisma to the ring, and they are all three undoubtedly deserving of their successes. They have shown the world that there is no blueprint to being a professional wrestling World Champion.

Just when we believe that, Vince McMahon puts his foot down and reminds us: professional wrestlers are supposed to be larger than life. In a similar vein to anyone who is a fan of professional wrestling, Vince McMahon views his product and finds certain individuals, which he marks for. In the almost 25 years that McMahon has been in charge of WWE, he seems to have come to a conclusion that the in-ring product itself is not the determining factor in what makes a superstar.

It wasn't always like this however. Superstar Billy Graham, Hulk Hogan, Lex Luger, and others can be credited with the current emphasis on the human body in professional wrestling.

Obviously current WWE superstars feel the pressure, as recently 10 men have been suspended for their association with Signature Pharmacy.

Following the death of Eddie Guerrero, WWE appeared to be taking their Wellness Policy much more seriously.

When Chris Masters arrived on the scene in the WWE, it appeared that the world would be handed to him on a silver platter. The Masterpiece was very reminiscent of Luger in his Narcissist character, and he appeared destined for superstardom based on his tremendous size and serviceable charisma. Masters may indeed have been the future of the business.

That is until the WWE exercised a new Wellness Policy, and Master's push vanished along with his muscles. Masters returned "leaner and meaner," but to folks at home he looked more like a "wiener." WWE had the option of restarting Masters right where he left off. Instead, they gave him a series of losses to Super Crazy. Master's career has been ill fated ever since, as mere technicalities with Ron Simmons and a soldier in Iraq are all that have kept any legitimacy to his "Masterlock Challenge."

Masters became a tool in the building of one of the men that Vince views as a real superstar, Bobby Lashley.

Why do you put anything over for two years to simply toss it aside with no feud, no payoff, nothing. Chris Masters' identity was lost as an accessory of a storyline he is not even involved in.

What does this say to Masters? Well, the answer is apparent, as "The Masterpiece" bulked back up rather quickly. How does this enforce wellness?

At Unforgiven, WWE continued down the path of hypocrisy. Now, I am not trying to insinuate that any of the winners at the most recent PPV are currently on the gas, but it is undeniable that John Cena and Batista are two wrestlers without a lot of technical ability and a whole lot of muscle.

Now the last time that WWE went through a steroid trial, the belt was immediately put on the technically sound, not-so-large Bret "Hitman" Hart. Who in the WWE thinks that Batista is a good figurehead in light of the current scrutiny?

The WWE has no shortage of athletic looking guys. Shelton Benjamin and Elijah Burke are two that uphold the legitimacy of what a pro wrestler should be without carrying an extra 50-100 pounds of unneeded muscle mass. What do they get for it? They get to be jobbers on their respective programs.

Burke got a chance to be a part of the Unforgiven Pay-Per-View, jerking the curtain along with "Straight Edge Superstar" CM Punk. In light of recent goings-on, you'd think these guys would really get a chance to shine. Instead, they are just an afterthought.

Now why aren't agility, technical skill, and charisma elevating these men to the same places that Batista's muscles have taken him? Why isn't a healthy athletic look celebrated, and the body builder look discouraged?

As Batista begins his third title run and Cena begins his second calendar year as WWE champion, it almost makes you wonder where the Ric Flair's and Bret Hart's have gone…

It seems today that only things that Vince cares about are the preservation of sports entertainment, the downplaying of wrestling in his product, and the creation of these beefed-up moneymaking megastars.

The WWE has the ability to do whatever they want at their leisure, until fans show them their decisions are incorrect by tuning out. All of us who disagree with the current product, regardless of the reason, are in Vince McMahon's back pocket.

We are the one's blogging, buying DVDs, and we will be watching "Raw" this Monday and purchasing Pay-Per-View's regardless. Vince is trying to appeal to the ones he hasn't already hooked, and he knows that first and foremost.

As a fan, I believe there is a place for the Undertaker's, John Cena's, Batista's, Big Show's, Hulk Hogan's, Ultimate Warrior's and other larger than life superstars. However, there is room for a great deal more. I am not calling for a drastic change. I would just like to see the wrestling put back into World Wrestling Entertainment.

I touched on WWE's reluctance to push guys who are not extremely large. I suggested how this sends the wrong message, and is a huge contributing factor as to why seemingly can't miss guys like Ken Kennedy, Umaga, John Morrison, King Booker, and others are sitting on the sidelines serving Wellness related suspensions.

Reader Rick Helley wrote in to suggest some other ways WWE could possibly improve the product while ensuring the safety and long-term health of their workers:

"The WWE could become a better alternative to its current incarnation if it banned chair shots, and other sorts of trauma, to the head. I remember Eddie Guerrero's final match, on SmackDown, when he took a wicked chair shot to the head from Mr. Kennedy. Although the cause of Eddie's death was ruled a heart attack, I cannot help but think that that nasty chair shot might have precipitated or hastened his demise.

And now, it's been learned that Chris Benoit, at 40, had brain damage comparable to an 85-year-old man with Alzheimer's disease. I know a great deal about Alzheimer's and dementia; and if Benoit did, in fact, suffer from dementia, then he was in a desperately bad mental condition. Every time I saw Benoit perform his flying head-butt off the top rope -- and plough head-first onto the mat in some cases -- I wondered what all that trauma must have been doing to his brain. And now we know -- as well as the horrible consequences.

I cringe every time I see chair shots and head bumps, and always have, long before the deaths of Guerrero and Benoit. I don't need to see such useless and risky nonsense in order to be entertained.

Some of the most exciting wrestling matches I ever saw were the televised National Wrestling Alliance matches from the San Francisco Cow Palace in the early 1970s, featuring such greats as Ray Stevens, Pat Patterson, Peter Maivia, Rocky Johnson, Pepper Gomez, and Stan Stasiak. These guys put on fantastic matches and exhibited pure professional wrestling skills superior to most of what I see today -- with nary a chair shot or a flying head-butt.

In the wake of the Chris Benoit tragedy, I hope that WWE will come to its senses, and ban chair shots and other moves that induce head trauma -- and tragedy afterwards. In that way, WWE will become a better and more entertaining alternative to itself -- and a safer alternative for its hard-working wrestlers. And maybe, when wrestlers pass away, their obituaries will indicate that they died in their 80s instead of their 30s and 40s."

Thanks for the feedback Rick. Here is a classic match from the 1970's, just for you:


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A Suitable WWE Alternative: The McMahon Plan to Put TNA Out of Business

CM Punk is a World Heavyweight Champion. Regardless of what brand he is a champion of or the circumstances surrounding his win, at the end of the day CM Punk has a World Heavyweight Title around his waist.

Is that enough to satiate the ever-critical Internet Wrestling Community? Likely not.

Is it enough to get more fans watching the ECW brand? Probably still likely not.

Much like Samoa Joe, CM Punk lost the payoff match that would have made his title reign significant. Due to a wellness policy suspension, he is afforded the luxury of keeping the belt warm for the impending return of John Morrison. This makes him a glorified Ronnie Garvin in the annals of wrestling history.

Punk's title win came at a TV taping, and was spoiled on WWE.com before it aired on the poorly rated ECW on Sci-Fi.

The WWECW experiment has been an interesting one to say the least. Beginning with Rob Van Dam's title run, the brand has experienced nothing but issues. It's hard to determine what WWE's actual plans were for the brand, as additions of RVD, Kurt Angle, and the Big Show imply that they expected the brand to draw on it's own.

All three of those aforementioned wrestlers are gone. Bobby Lashley took the ball, but when he ran with it, he often ended up on the Raw brand. Lashley was removed from ECW and stripped of the World title, but fans kept hope with the announcement that Chris Benoit would be putting on fantastic matches with young athletic workers. We obviously all know how that turned out.

Outside of Morrison and Punk, the supporting cast of ECW wrestlers is a veritable who's who of wrestling jobbers as ECW originals Balls Mahoney, Nunzio, and Tommy Dreamer haven't won a match in recent memory. Wrestlers receiving half-pushes like Stevie Richards, Kevin Thorn, The Miz, and Big Daddy V are hardly anything to get excited about.

This leads to the ECW World Heavyweight title having a feeling of being more on par with Raw's Intercontinental title or Smackdown's United States title.

TNA on the other hand has somehow been able to keep the big belt feel around their World Heavyweight Title. Kurt Angle, Sting, Christian Cage, Samoa Joe and others have all been built to be legit title contenders.

Despite the fact that the logic of having Kurt Angle lose clean to Jay Lethal to return and defeat Abyss is seriously flawed, the belt itself only moderately suffers. The main argument of most wrestling fans would be that Lethal should now be considered the number one contender. I agree, but would rather personally not see Angle squash Black Machismo to get his heat back.

Still, TNA has it's own fatal flaw. TNA's purpose in the wrestling game is to provide an alternative to the WWE. When I started watching wrestling in 1989, the NWA/WCW provided a suitable alternative with a different and often superior in-ring product.

Years later, when WCW acquired Hulk Hogan and other former WWE stars and looked, sounded, and felt more like their competitor, Extreme Championship Wrestling stepped up and truly did something unique in the world of wrestling, blending world class grapplers, unique high flyers, and hardcore wrestling.

Since the original ECW folded, many have come and tried to rekindle the magic. XPW and CZW have appealed to a specific type of fan, but they have been unable to capture the imaginations of America the way ECW did. One might suggest that they're overboard tactics and sort of lower class, if not dirty, feel has a lot to do with their lack of mainstream marketability. If ECW was comparable to edgy magazine Playboy, XPW and CZW are BSDM specialty mags.

Undoubtedly, pro wrestling fans have been looking for something new and different. For some fans, this is found in Ring of Honor. To make another analogy, if WWE were beer, ECW is WWE Lite, and TNA is WWE Ultra Lite. Ring of Honor is Natty Light. Cheaper, but at least it tastes a bit different. Fans are looking for a Miller to compete with their Bud, and have been since the dissolution of WCW and the original ECW years ago.

With TNA shoving VKM, Black Reign, Rhino, Team 3D, and various other WWE rejects down the collective throats of their fans, it has appeared at times that they might get rid of the X Division entirely. Obviously the TNA brass doesn't understand what brought them to the dance.

So why doesn't a millionaire-wrestling mogul like Vince McMahon understand that there is a demographic he is not reaching? After all, there is a great deal more money to be made.

Jim Ross has recently stated in his Barbeque Blog that "ECW is still a work in progress and the final form it eventually takes could be termed as ‘still to be determined.' I am not a major fan of a weekly hardcore or extreme rules match because they cease being special if one sees them every week and these matches increase the odds of a wrestlers getting injured. With the overall lack of quality depth available, injuries should be avoided when they can."

While many fans cannot accept this, I am perfectly fine with it. I grew tired of WWE style hardcore matches, and I detested watching bums attempt to recreate and outdo them on the Indy circuit. I don't want anyone to get seriously injured for my dollar. That is not why I am a wrestling fan.

So what can the WWE do to reinvigorate the ECW brand and provide the alternative that TNA is failing to be, essentially shutting them out of the market entirely?

Well, the first step is to get a deal for ECW to move to a different network. ECW is handcuffed by their Sci-Fi affiliation, as characters like The Boogeyman and Kevin Thorn must be there to grab any type of crossover audience from the network itself.

If ECW could score a deal with FSN, FX, or another network with a more general theme and a larger audience, it would benefit them greatly. I personally am unable to watch ECW on the television in my room, because we only get digital cable on one TV in the household.

The second move would be straight to Thursday nights to compete directly with Total Nonstop Action Impact! What is a bigger slap in the face than to send your third and lesser brand into direct competition with your rival? Writers and wrestlers would both be expected to step up their performance.

The next step is to introduce a Women's Championship to Smackdown. This will undoubtedly be the most controversial point. However, Victoria is on the brand, and she is undoubtedly the most talented wrestling diva in the company. She would like to see a belt there, and I would like to be her unconditional love slave. Therefore, what Victoria wants, Victoria gets.

Plus, this opens up the option of taking the Cruiserweight title off of Smackdown and moving it to ECW. Along with the title, any wrestler from any brand who is considered a cruiserweight should be moved as well. This would place Daivari, Santino Marella, Super Crazy, Funaki, Chavo Guerrero, Shannon Moore, and Jamie Noble all on the ECW brand.

Cruiserweight title matches would be contested under a highflying, hard-hitting cruiserweight style. One huge difference between WWE and TNA is TNA lets their X Division separate itself from the rest of the program, while WWE essentially has smaller guys working a heavyweight style for a cruiserweight title.

Other wrestlers who might be considered for movement to the ECW brand depending on their storyline involvement on their respective brands would be the Hardyz, Rey Mysterio, and Kenny Dykstra. These men would be ECW World Title contenders.

The ECW World Heavyweight title would only be contested under extreme rules, which can mean as much or as little as the performers involved want it to mean. There was a great difference between Jerry Lynn/RVD matches and Tommy Dreamer/Raven matches in the old ECW. Still, it gives wrestlers the option of pushing the envelope in matches where it would be worthwhile to do so, i.e. World Heavyweight title matches.

Now that pay-per-views are tri-branded again, the ECW brand would actually be set apart and provide one or two unique and exciting matches for each.

All members of the ECW roster should wrestle with a hardcore mentality. This does not necessarily mean Extreme Rules. Kurt Angle's intensity upon joining the ECW brand, and Big Show's attempt to work a different style and use a new move set while in ECW were fantastic examples of what I mean. Hardcore doesn't necessarily mean going through a table. It's about wrestlers pushing themselves to the limit.

It's likely that a reworked ECW could destroy TNA's market share, as WWE would provide a suitable alternative themselves. If done correctly and given a more legit feel, it may also attract some of the ever-growing MMA audience.

Without a doubt, it would increase ratings, increase merchandise sales, and give fans a reason to once again chant ECW, ECW, ECW!

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A Mixed Message

What defines a wrestling superstar?

In my earliest days as a wrestling fan, I idolized Sting and Hulk Hogan. There's no denying that these are two larger than life personalities with larger than life bodies. Does an impressive physique equal superstar potential? Not necessarily, but don't tell Vince McMahon that.

I've always thought that anyone with the right talent and/or charisma, pushed properly, can be a huge star. Look at Dusty Rhodes, Mick Foley or even Rey Mysterio. Note that I said the right talent and/or charisma. This doesn't mean every fat dude or luchador can be a superstar.

This brings me back to my original point. Now, the WWE is saying they don't want their superstars on any illegal substances, yet they still want their talent to look like bodybuilders. Plus, new talent has to pass a drug test to get signed. That's tough. Who are they going to sign? Isn't this the same company that depushed a returning Chris Masters after suspending him for being on steroids?

I can't understand wanting their wrestlers to look like athletes. Elijah Burke looks like an athlete.

I'm confused why they won't let the talent get over based on their own merits. Look at the two biggest stars of the past ten years: Steve Austin and The Rock. These two guys got over almost on accident. Why not let some natural progressions happen? The only talent I've seen them let get over on their own is CM Punk. They've changed Cena so much since they've made him a top guy. Why not let some of these guys bring their own personality to the table and see what happens? More on This Story...

Book Review - Controversy Creates Cash

I recently took a much needed vacation from work and for the first time went to Disney World. While this time of enjoyment was a refreshing experience, it was also an eye-opening one. To my surprise, I realized that Disney World is a place where adults can have just as much fun as the kids, and that essentially everything I thought I knew about Eric Bischoff was wrong.

You probably are wondering how Eric Bischoff would have anything to do with my vacation to Disney. Well, I normally don’t read much, but I figured that I might as well take a book with me to read on the flights and while waiting at the airports, and the book I chose was “Controversy Creates Cash” the autobiography of Eric Bischoff, co-written by Jeremy Roberts.

I had received this book as a Christmas present, and really had no expectations of ever reading it. After all, I thought I knew the whole story on Eric Bischoff and his role in WCW from watching the DVD “The Monday Night Wars.” I was surely in for a surprise.



I would never consider myself a wrestling insider by any means. I have never read dirt sheets and I don’t have the time to surf websites for behind-the-scenes information. But I do have a good memory as far as what happened on tv. As a teenager, I watched every single wrestling broadcast that I could. I rarely missed an episode of the then WWF shows like Raw and Mania, and the WCW shows like WCW Saturday Night. I could remember most of the on-air matches, feuds, and developments that were covered in the book. Being able to read about the details of what was going on behind the curtain during that era in WCW was a delight.

Of course, the claim to fame of this book is the coverage of the Monday Night Wars and the Fall of WCW.

During the implosion of WCW over the course of 2000 and 2001, I was in my Senior year of college and only took the time to follow WWE storylines. But, again, I thought I knew what really happened during that time period from watching “The Monday Night Wars.” To read about it the way Eric Bischoff lived it is an eye-opening experience. I think Vince McMahon and the rest of the Gerry Briscos and Sgt. Slaughters that made statements on the “Monday Night Wars” DVD should publicly recognize that there was much more to the descent of WCW than what was exposed on the disk.

I think Bischoff’s book, “Controversy Creates Cash” is an excellent read, and I think that anyone who is a die-hard fan of wrestling should read this book, especially if they lived through the period of time in the wrestling business know as the Monday Night Wars. I think it will serve as a balance that will even out the depictions of that epoch. I know I feel I have more well-rounded understanding of the dynamics of that time.

I might add that, as a member of management in a large corporation, and as an on-line business owner, I was also able to take some things from this book that I will use in my day-to-day work strategies, and my on-line marketing campaigns. Not only is Bischoff an excellent story-teller, he is also a savvy businessman and leader.

-NAPALM- More on This Story...

My Thoughts on the Benoit Tragedy

It would seem that a few people are interested in my take on what has unfolded over the past few days in reference to former professional wrestler Chris Benoit. In many circles, I am the "wrestling guy", so I will try to fufill that role and give as much perspective as I possibly can into this almost unbelievable series of events to ever occur in pro wrestling history.

On Monday Night, I signed online looking for my friend Tuna to be on. WWE had scheduled a three hour "Raw" to air, ironically with a theme of a funeral for Vince McMahon based on an angle they had shot two weeks prior. I assumed Tuna and I would watch together.

Immediately when I signed on, Pittsburgh independent wrestler, Kid Cupid instant messaged me to see if I had heard the news. I expected a joke about the girth of his genitals or something.

Simultaneously, I was hitting my standard rotation of wrestling websites to make sure that I was up to date on all that I needed to know in preparation for that night's "Raw". The IM window flashed...Chris Benoit is dead.

I made it to the first wrestling site immediately and it confirmed the news. I was shocked. I was numb. I went to a popular wrestling blog that I frequent and people were already mourning. To non-wrestling fans this may sound stupid, but I thought of Chris Benoit as an entertainer. Anyone can be a bit shaken when one of their
favorite entertainers is taken unexpectedly, especially if that person had been entertaining you for over a decade.

Not knowing any details, I composed the following message in response to someone who was chastizing Vince McMahon for his ficticious death angle:

"This is not about Vince or his angle. This is about the best wrestler that the WWE has ever seen being dead. Rest in Peace Chris...You were an incredible performer. I will miss seeing you do what you do best."

There was a part of me wanted to write a long memorial, but also a part of me felt it was too soon. I read that not only was Chris found dead, but also his wife Nancy and his son Daniel.

It's funny how wrestling fans get in a huff over a fake Vince McMahon death angle, but as soon as they hear about a real death, they pray for it to be a tasteless WWE storyline. We were all praying hard on Monday night that this was the case. If not a storyline, perhaps it was a gas leak. No one wanted to think there was foul play involved.

At the time, I figured it was most likely a domestic dispute, as I had read that Benoit called off a house show and knew he missed a pay-per-view for "personal reasons." I couldn't imagine what was really transpiring.

I received a text message before "Raw" that night from a good friend asking if I thought this was real or just the worst angle ever. I responded:

"Unfortunately real"

I saw groups and sites pop up in great numbers paying homage to a guy who had always been considered a class act in the world of pro wrestling. A traditionalist who gave his 100% every night in the ring. I read as people were ready to throw Nancy's body over the coals if she had done something to kill Chris Benoit. I decided not to comment until I had some details.

Some people suggested that Kevin Sullivan may be to blame. Sullivan, also a wrestler, used to write the storylines for World Championship Wrestling. He paired Nancy (his then wife) together with Benoit in a storyline, and they ended up sparking a true life romance. I was asked if I thought Sullivan was the culprit. I replied, it's been ten years, you'd think he'd be over it by now.

People wanted to believe anything other than that Chris Benoit could be responsible for the deaths. I sat in Tuna's house as we watched the tribute to the former World Champion. Vince McMahon broke character to announce that he was not dead, and it was just a storyline. They then showed some of Benoit's most incredible moments in the business, which admittedly he had no shortage of.

Fans listened as Benoit's peers talked about how much respect Benoit had, how he would always give 100%, and how he was a great family man. It made the events that would later unfold that much more unbelievable.

In hindsight, many people have been critical of WWE's decision to run the tribute show. Well, to all the Monday morning quarterbacks, or in this case Tuesday morning bodyslammers, you have to understand that at the time of the event, WWE had no idea of the details that would soon be unveiled. The live show was cancelled and the tribute emanated from an empty arena because the arena was decorated for McMahon's faux funeral.

It would obviously have been in poor taste to have fans cycle into the arena among those decorations and mention Benoit's real passing. The week before, former WWE valet Sensational Sherri had passed, and WWE received a lot of heat for not giving that enough attention while promoting the McMahon storyline. By all means, for what they knew at the time, they were handling it as best as they could.

By the time "Raw" was over, speculation was very heavy that Benoit was indeed a killer. Fans were making up their own scenarios as to what may have happened. The next morning I wrote:

"I feel as though I know nothing, yet I still know too much. As more details appear, I will force myself to read them, but it seems to be everything I dreaded upon hearing all three were dead is reality. It's just unfathomable to me. If the early reports are indeed confirmed by the investigation, it will be hard for us as wrestling fans to reconcile our feelings on the fantastic performer that Chris was. His in-ring abilities certainly do not go away, but how do you celebrate him? Do you even want to?

This is a PR nightmare for World Wrestling Entertainment, and another hard shot for wrestling fans as this event is likely to shape the mainstream opinion of professional wrestling for years to come. It is just too early, I feel, to really go into my comments or feelings on Chris Benoit.

We are so conditioned now to get our news and information so rapidly and immediately make a statement upon it. However, I think some of us really need to take a step back and wait for some real details to come out before we form our opinions on Chris or Nancy.

I think out of respect for the victims and respect for ourselves, it's best if we stop worrying about immediately pointing fingers, wait for authorities to sort the situation out, and then digest the facts as they come."

The next day I followed the news closely. It wasn't hard as all mainstream media outlets had picked up the story. I was notified that WWE had made a decision to quietly take down all references to Benoit. This was all but confirmation of a wrestling fan's worst nightmare. I wrote:

"I went and visited WWE.com and the site is certainly backing down from the tribute it had up last evening and early this morning. The main article is still obviously in regards to Benoit, as many WWE fans would likely be pissed if they went looking for an update this afternoon and found nothing. The link inside that would have clicked to Benoit's bio now loops you back to the same article. However, if you go through to the ECW section, Benoit's bio is still listed on the Roster page and his tribute stuff can still be found there for now..."

In a matter of four minutes, his superstar page and bio had been removed. I wrote:

"They have taken all his stuff off of WWEshop, and went so far as to take his name out of the description of the WrestleMania 23 winners plaque, despite the fact that he is clearly pictured.

Also, this is a direct quote from the description of the WrestleMania XX DVD, from which Benoit won the title:

'The entire event is here. Seven championships are on the line, featuring Eddie Guerrero VS. Kurt Angle for the WWE Championship & Triple H defends his World Heavyweight Championship against Shawn Michaels.'

If WWE.com was your source for all things wrestling, it is almost as if Benoit never existed."

I sat on google refreshing the news about Benoit, knowing that something big was about to break. The distance that WWE put between themselves and one of their most celebrated performers was a clear signal that it was going to be bad.

Before the AP broke the story, I had already read the details on TMZ.com. I was floored. The whole thing was just terrible.

Some wrestling fans focus shifted to if Benoit really did this, does he deserve to get into the WWE Hall of Fame. I wrote:

"Benoit was arguably the greatest wrestler ever. Still, that doesn't mean he should be unconditionally honored. With more of these reports coming out, it shows that he truly had no honor".

One fan said he didn't know if we should pray for Chris or damn him to hell. I replied:

"I pray for Nancy, Daniel, and the two children left behind.

I also pray for Chris, but it's very different.

I am through celebrating him, but I don't think it's our place to damn anyone. That's just my belief."

I got home just in time for the beginning of the press conference. By dinner time I knew that Benoit had bound his wife, driven her into the floor, and choked her to death with wire. He had waited a number of hours, and smothered his son with a bag. He waited a number of hours again before hanging himself from a weight machine in his basement. He left no suicide note. All the communication he made were text messages suggesting that his dogs were in an enclosed space, his door was open, and his address.

The whole thing was sickening. WWE released a statement saying they were stunned by the details. Anyone who was a fan of professional wrestling can tell you the same. WWE was also "concerned" about the sensational reporting.

I must admit, I was too. Shepard Smith immediately began blaming the encounter on steroids. WWE has gone on record to say that Benoit passed a drug test in April. Plus, the fact that Benoit did this act over the course of three days, bounding his wife, and placing bibles with the victims doesn't support this at all.

Shepard Smith said that 60 well known professional wrestlers under the age of 45 have had steroid related deaths in the past ten years. This is simply not true at all. Owen Hart died from a fall at a pay-per-view when making a superhero like entrance to the ring. Earthquake died from cancer. Mr. Perfect died of acute cocaine intoxication. Miss Elizabeth died from a combination of alcohol and pain killers. Some deaths referenced happened over ten years ago, and still weren't steroid related. Dino Bravo was murdered. Kerry Von Erich shot himself.

Yes, there is an overabundance of dead professional wrestlers: (The British Bulldog, Brian Pillman, Bam Bam Bigelow, The Big Bossman, Ravishing Rick Rude, Chris Candido, Yokozuna, Andre the Giant, Eddie Guerrero, Johnny Grunge, Rocco Rock, Gino Hernandez, Chris Adams, Louie Spicolli, Terry Gordy, Eddie Gilbert, Road Warrior Hawk, Hercules, The Wall, Crash Holly, Pitbull #2, The Renagade, Bad News Brown) But they all died of various causes.

Reporting Benoit's act as though it comes with the territory in the life of a professional wrestler is irresponsible journalism.

Nancy Grace chastized WWE for running a tribute show to a murderer. Well Nancy, that would make sense had WWE known at the time of the tribute he was murderer. Instead, Vince was dealing with a lockeroom who felt as though they had lost a brother, 20 million people who tune into "Raw" on Mondays who would have been outraged if the show went on as normal, and three hours to figure out what to do while being tremendously distraught himself. Get off your high horse. Better hope Anderson Cooper never pulls something like this and lands you in the same position.

I've noticed a lot of fans having trouble with Benoit's actions. It's hard for them to watch their hero being villainized. Many people have no frame of reference for Chris Benoit outside of this incident, and it's almost as if fans want to defend that he wasn't really like this.

Unfortunately, he proved otherwise. Fans want to show the world that they are shocked and never believed anything like this could happen, thus distancing themselves from the fact that they spent years cheering for a would-be murderer. It's similar to when a murder happens in a small town and the mayor consistently wants to reiterate that he never thought anything like that could happen there. You want to defend some semblance of yourself from the judgement of others.

As a child, I was a huge fan of He-Man cartoons. Then one night flipping through the channels, I found Hulk Hogan, who for my four year-old brain was a real live-action He-Man. I was immediately hooked. These were real life superheroes. As I got older, I became more intrigued with the business side of wrestling, and how decisions were made. Being older I learned many things that were dissapointing about my childhood heroes, probably first feeling that impact when I heard Jake "The Snake" Roberts talk about his life on the road.

Someone asked if Jimmy Snuka hadn't also killed his wife. I explained the story of how Jimmy Snuka had been travelling in the very early 80's (before I was born) with a ring rat (wrestling groupie) and they had gotten into an argument on the side of the highway. Snuka shoved her and she had cracked her skull. She died hours later in what was ruled an accidental death, and Vince McMahon did a great deal to help cover up the incident and make sure Snuka never had to serve time.

Telling the story made me exclaim:

"Unfortunately, pro wrestling is full of drug abusers and woman beaters."

The funny thing is, I have known this for at least ten years, but it's probably the first time I have ever said it outloud. I guess I just didn't want to let myself believe it. Professional wrestling was an escape from the real world to me.

So I guess this is my final stance on what happened this weekend:

"I am done celebrating Benoit. I would much rather celebrate his wife Nancy, who portrayed the character 'Woman.' I knew Woman many years before I ever knew of Benoit. Nancy Daus debuted as Robin Greene, the love interest of Rick Steiner. She later turned on Rick and his brother Scott and aligned herself with Butch Reed and Ron Simmons, who were known as Doom.

She was a beautiful woman, and a fantastic wrestling valet in the late 80's early 90's. I was not really familiar with her work in Florida as the Fallen Angel, and I think she was less intriguiging in her later roles in WCW, but she was fantastic in the Steiners/Doom storyline. Wrestling fans seem to be missing the fact that the wrestling world has lost two personalities, not just one.

Now onto Chris Benoit. As I have said, this incident doesn't take away the fact that he is perhaps the best in-ring performer EVER, but to read wrestling fans everywhere defending him makes wrestling fans everywhere look retarded. Just because you drop a few thousand perfect diving headbutts doesn't excuse his actions.

Think of the most vile gangsta rapper you can think of, and Benoit is way worse. They sing about rape and murder. Benoit smothered his 7 year-old son.

It's hard to reconcile as a fan, because all you ever heard was good about Benoit. There are other guys where it would seemingly be more fathomable. Unfortunately though, facts are facts. Benoit murdered Nancy "Woman" Daus Benoit and his son Daniel, and no matter what influenced him, the act was sensless and horrible.

I don't agree that we should condemn him to hell, because it's not our place. I pray for Nancy, Daniel, the two remaining children, and his extended family and friends.

I also pray for Chris, but I do so in a different way.

It's funny because I usually go to wrestling to escape life. Now I am looking to life to escape wrestling. Chris Benoit, the guy who was so passionate about tradition and respect has raped professional wrestling of its innocence and fun. In time, I think things will return to a sense of normalcy, but this is a black eye that professional wrestling will wear for a very long time.

If the reports are true, there is no one to blame but Chris Benoit. He did just about the most reprehensible thing a person can do, and I refuse to make excuses for him just because of his workrate. The thing that pisses me off the most is how ready people were to damn Nancy initially when they assumed it was her doing, but now that she's the victim, people are still looking at Benoit as some type of martyr. If I were not a fan of professional wrestling I would look at these fansites and tributes and barf in their general direction.

Chris Benoit does not deserve to be honored, as he was a man who had no honor. Chris Benoit is not a hero. Period!"

I just read a report on a website in which the author says, "So in spite of all that has happened, I am not afraid to say this: Chris Benoit, you where (sic) my hero and I shall remember you for every good match, for every chop, for every flying headbutt, for every crippler crossface and more importantly, for every tear I dropped at the end of that Wrestlemania. Because for those lasting minutes, wrestling was real."

Well I got news for you Armando, wrestling is not real. The deaths of a lovely 43 year old woman and an innocent 7 year old boy are.

More on This Story...

Those Tasteless McMahons

As far as being tasteless, sometimes I think WWE gets a bum rap for trying to do things that every other major media outlet is doing.

Maybe it's because they marketed their product so hard to kids in the 80's. Maybe it's because they are seen as a lesser form of entertainment. However, TV shows and movies deal with the concept of a character dying all the time, with no backlash. Would the "Sopranos" be suddenly seen as tasteless if their Key Grip guy died?

The problem with the Vince McMahon death angle is not that it's tasteless. It's that it's uninteresting, which is a shame considering they just killed off an incredibly OVER character who has been the focal point of the show for the past ten years.

The reason it is uninteresting is because fans smell the shit they are about to be fed from a mile away. An angle like this deserves a huge payoff, but WWE has no aces up its sleeve.

Remember when The Undertaker was answering to a higher power? Fans speculated that it might be Jake Roberts, Ted Dibiase or even that possibly Owen Hart's death was untrue and he could be the higher power. Instead, we got Vince McMahon.

What about when Stone Cold was run down in the parking lot? Logical sense pointed directly to The Rock. Having Austin VS. a fresh Heel Rock and the Angle/HHH/Stephanie love triangle going on simultaneously could have propelled WWE to new heights. Instead, WWE didn't want to lose The Rock's T-Shirt revenue, so Rikishi was found to be the one driving the car. Rikishi? Please...

How can anyone forget about the WCW "Who was driving the hummer?" angle. Oh, what's that? You forgot? Well, it's probably because they never answered the question. I am just going to assume that whoever they found that blew up this limo was also driving that hummer. I am hoping it is Kenny Dykstra, because he wouldn't have even had a Driver's License then.

Professional wrestling has a history of ending these storylines in the most uninteresting way possible. Not to mention that Triple H was lifted in a car in a crane and dropped 40 feet, and came back to wrestle a week later in what Jim Ross described as "a miracle." The true miracle was that no charges were pressed against Steve Austin who had obviously attempted to kill the man the week before. Hulk Hogan and The Giant squared off in a monster truck sumo match on the top of a building. The Giant was pushed off and came back to wrestle that night.

Wrestling fans know that WWE has about 200 ways to just shrug this off. And who are the interesting suspects? Mick Foley? Bobby Lashley? Please. About the best payoff you could muster would be Degeneration X was playing a prank that went a little overboard. Imagine the looks on HBK and HHH's face as they shrug their shoulders and say 'oops'. Then the crowd pops as they crotch chop into the night.

With the concept of an FBI investigation surrounding the case, anyone who is responsible would likely be taken off TV for some time, having to go to court and eventually jail. That will not happen however, as the suspect will be guilty without trial, and some wrestler will choose to get his revenge in the ring, rather than through federal 'pound me in the ass' prison time.

In the end, it's pretty obvious to me that Vince will have indeed faked his own death, and Stephanie will turn babyface, distraught that her dad could pull such a horrible stunt. Shane will be mad at Stephanie, distraught that his dad could raise such a horrible cunt.

If anything is worthwhile about this angle, it's that it has the wrestling world talking, something that we haven't had a chance to do much, unless it's over distaste about pulling things out of Jim Ross' ass or incessant John Cena bashing. Still, the Vince McMahon presumed death is to most fans just "WrestleCrap" waiting to happen. The most unfortunate thing about the angle is what it is doing to the talent on each brand.

The most unfortunate thing about the angle is what it is doing to the talent on each brand. Last night, WWE showed a highlight clip of Cade and Murdoch screwing the Hardys out of the tag team titles. With the brands seemingly once again divided with clear lines, Matt Hardy won't be able to show up on "Raw" to get his revenge. Oh, scratch that, he can show up on "Raw" all he wants if they win the tag titles at Vengeance. I'd rather see Dave Taylor come over and win them with Regal myself. I digress.

London and Kendrick were about as mediocre looking as could be on "Raw", wrestling the World's Greatest Tag Team. When I was predicting what would be on "Raw", saying that Bobby Lashley would squash Daivari and Umaga would squash The Sandman, I wanted to include that London and Kendrick would squash WGTT, but I left it out because I would have assumed that the actual match would at least be entertaining. It wasn't really.

If you are WGTT, why do you unleash your new gear on a night you are inevitably jobbing? Every time these guys give me something to get excited about, it turns out that there is absolutely nothing to be excited about. I can't believe that the guy that beat Triple H on "Raw" a few years back is now one half of "Raw"'s most infamous jobber tag team. Weak. It's strange how London and Kendrick came off as really being something special on "SmackDown!", and are just an afterthought on "Raw". The crowd fizzled after the team's victory. They really do seem out of place, and I'd love to see them go to "SmackDown!" or ECW.

The Sandman is also obviously out of place on "Raw", but at least he got a pop. The funny thing is, many think WWE ressurected ECW to snuff out any remaining ECW chants, by associating those letters with a vastly different product. Ironically, The Sandman probably got more ECW chants on "Raw" than the whole ECW show will get Tuesday Nights on the Sci-Fi channel. Funny how he should be in the ECW element, but he is probably more significant on another brand, as he can really bear the ECW flag when not held back by ECW.

I want to say how refreshing it was to hear the biggest pop of the night go to Mickie James. Of course, in her hometown, she had to eat the pinfall. Lame. At least it happened after the new sweet finisher of Melina, a leg-drop to split variation of the DDT. The commentators were really getting on my nerves, from Lawler's insistance that someone as boring as Paul London could be the culprit in the McMahon bombing, to the validated statement that Lashley and King Booker had never wrestled before.

It makes me want to go check their claim that Foley hadn't been in a singles match on "Raw" in seven years. What most irked me was how both of them kept calling King Booker, Booker T. "SmackDown!" did a great job in associating Booker with his new gimmick and letting us know that this wasn't just a flash in the pan thing. That helped position King Booker in a place where he could win a World Title. On "Raw", he's a contender, but the commentators can't even get his name right.

It just goes to show how clusterfucked things are, because the guys who are paid to put the stuff over can't even remember what's going on. WWE needs to stop all this flash in the pan booking, so that matches that should mean something when they happen, actually can. The fact that WWE gave away an inevitable Cena/Orton confrontation for free on "Raw" still baffles me.

Lastly, and not least, whether Stephanie is looking plump or not, I'd still hit it. Actually, I'd rather have her go down on me, that way I'd be assured that I wouldn't have to hear her talk. To make it fair, I'd return the favor. That way I can let all you readers know, exactly how "tasteless" the McMahons truly are.

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