The Time is Now

There is a newsfeed on our blog that keeps me up to date on the latest happenings in professional wrestling. One interesting article I came across speculated on the effect that the Hollywood writers strike would have on the WWE.

The writer speculated that the NBC network might turn to the WWE for additional programming to make up for the loss of The Tonight Show, Saturday Night Live, and others.

At the same time I thought that if this model proved successful, CBS might look into their affiliate network Spike TV about TNA programming.



If the strike lasts as long as projected, the WWE and TNA may receive major outlets for their programming. The question of whether or not the negative stigma related to the Chris Benoit murders and the related steroid probes will prevent networks and advertisers from looking towards professional wrestling is valid.

Let's assume however that the WWE actually does have the opportunity to benefit from added television time. Can WWE bring the goods?

Over the summer, Linda McMahon stated during a conference call that professional wrestling was about to hit another boom period. Since that announcement, Triple H, Shawn Michaels, The Undertaker, Rey Mysterio, and Ken Kennedy have returned from injuries.

Also since that time, Rob Van Dam and Booker T have left the company, and Bobby Lashley and John Cena have gone down to injury. So the question is, is the WWE in better or worse position than they were six months ago?

The answer is better, and the reason for that all looms on the horizon. If WWE is able to get three slots of network television time, they have three major events guaranteed to occur. The eagerly anticipated returns of Edge, Ric Flair, and Chris Jericho are all slated to occur sometime in the near future, and the timing could not be more perfect.

An interesting proposition would see classic wrestling as an option during this time. This is an interesting concept, indeed. The suggestion of the very best of Raw from the 1990's being available may overshadow today's product, or it could alternatively light a fire under WWE creative and remind the casual fan of what they enjoyed so much in the past.

I must admit I am not always the biggest "Stone Cold" Steve Austin fan. I think he was a better worker before he adopted the Stone Cold persona, and at times his act has grown tired to me. Still, during his confrontation with Santino Marella on Monday Night, all I could feel was magic, and I wished to myself that Austin had the ability to wrestle again.

Some critics are suggesting that Santino Marella's fantastic mic work over the past several weeks was all for naught because of the Austin confrontation. I couldn't disagree more.

Santino Marella has established himself as one of the most entertaining characters on Raw. A beer-spraying hose cannot wash that away. Just the opportunity for Santino to work with Austin elevates him. So what if Austin got a kick-wham-stunner on him. Who hasn't Austin done that too? The point is, Marella got under Austin's skin enough to bring Austin back to a WWE ring to confront him, and when Austin stood face to face with him, he was true to his convictions and never backed down.

Now Marella is positioned fantastically as the perfect antagonist to a returning Chris Jericho, and fans understand that the potential for classic mic work is outstanding. Marella doesn't have the character to be a main event caliber wrestler yet. However, as the green wears off and his comedy runs its course, he is going to be a very hot commodity as a serious title contender.

All Santino's program with Austin did was elevate him to bigger and better things. What if next week Santino was fuming about being embarrassed by Austin the week before? In a fit of rage, Marella announces that he is issuing and open challenge to anyone under a WWE contract for a match at the Survivor Series. All of the sudden, the countdown is on!

Another can't miss storylines for fans old enough to remember the good old days involves the return of "Nature Boy" Ric Flair. Since his WWE wrestling debut, fans have clamored for the storyline that sees Flair donning the big gold belt one more time.

While Flair currently seems far from the title picture on any brand, it will not take long to convince fans that Flair is ready and able for one last hurrah. Flair's return should see him gain convincing victories over major superstars and at the same time reestablish the figure-four leglock.

For those worried about Flair going over younger talent who are the future of the company, I would first suggest remembering how many guys Flair has attempted to help put over (although attempts with Kenny Dykstra and Carlito weren't all that successful). In professional wrestling, losing to Ric Flair is certainly not the type of thing that a wrestler will be unable to overcome in the future. If done right, A Flair for the Gold will convince anyone that Flair has the ability simply because of how bad he wants his final day in the sun.

How would I suggest they position Flair for his title shot? The same way they positioned him for the title during his first WWE run. Imagine the underdog Flair defeating 29 younger superstars at the Royal Rumble and choosing his own destiny at WrestleMania.

The current World Heavyweight Title picture is irrelevant, as WrestleMania is months away. Say the Undertaker defeats Batista at the Survivor Series and is positioned for a World Title Match with Edge at the Rumble. This is the perfect time for Batista to cost the Undertaker the belt and turn heel, as his babyface character has grown tired to many anyways. The Rumble can come down to Batista and Flair, who have a hell of a back-story of their own, and Taker can return the favor. Now you have two hot Smackdown main event matches. Perhaps and interesting twist would see Edge recruit his own pseudo-horsemen in the months leading up to WrestleMania. Arn Anderson would insist on helping Flair in his battles, but Flair would insist that this time he has to do it alone, and Arn would be left to struggle with respecting Flair's wishes and being the enforcer. He would reconcile those differences when he meets Flair in the ring to hug him and celebrate his title victory.

Flair would drop the belt the next month, most likely in a return match with Edge, but a unique and incredible WrestleMania moment was made, and Flair can retire with his legacy in tact.

The main problem I see is that outside of these returns, there is not a lot in the immediate future to look forward to on Raw. The Triple H-Umaga program has pretty much run its course twice now, yet it is still going on. The Randy Orton-Shawn Michaels program has no happy ending, as Michaels should not be regaining the belt right now, but he certainly needs to get his heat back from Orton kicking a field goal with his face and putting him out of action. So how does the Raw brand create exciting television outside of the return of Chris Jericho?

Well, one interesting prospect would involve the return of another major attitude-era superstar. If the WWE is looking to recapture the casual fan from the late 1990's, who better to bring back than The Rock. Now I know this seems a bit of a stretch, but with a major writer's strike in Hollywood, Rock's Saturday Night Live appearance has already been cancelled, and plans for any major movies he might have done could be on hold.

I would not suggest that Dwayne Johnson return in an active wrestling role for many reasons. He is not in wrestling shape. The risk of injury is high and unnecessary for him to take. Still, the Rock appearing and electrifying live crowds in a general manager role, bantering with Chris Jericho, Santino Marella, William Regal, Ron Simmons, and others is the recipe for good WWE television. I would think it a lot more doubtful had not the Rock appeared prior to WrestleMania to suggest that Umaga is Samoan for shriveled-up monkey penis.

To follow the momentum of events like Ric Flair, Edge, Chris Jericho, or even the Rock's return, you need to really establish your current and future guys as stars. That means having Cody Rhodes serving as Hardcore Holly's bitch is not going to cut it. That means having Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas jobbing to a makeshift tag team that no one cares about like Super Crazy and Jim Duggan is not going to cut it. That means having Snitsky, as a featured part of Raw, defeating jobbers in 30 seconds with a stupid pumphandle slam is simply not going to cut it.

For the love of God, if the WWE does get this opportunity and intends to take advantage of it CM Punk, Jeff Hardy, Mr. Kennedy, Umaga, Finlay, Matt Hardy, and MVP better come out the other side as huge stars.

If I had it my way, Shelton Benjamin, Lance Cade, Santino Marella, Val Venis, Jamie Noble, Elijah Burke, Beth Phoenix, and Victoria would be right there with them. What is it going to take for the WWE to write some good TV for these guys? With their look, charisma, and ability, it should be easy to get them over. Hell, the fact that they aren't over is blasphemous. Here is an analogy: If I was ever going to get an F in elementary school, I was going to have to try for it. Just showing up writing my name on the paper and taking the test would likely get me a C, even if I hadn't done any work prior. When it comes to these talents, WWE creative is getting an F… in elementary school… because you have to be trying to do THAT badly.

At any hot point in professional wrestling, you have great storylines in the main event and a hot exciting midcard full of guys you can see one day wearing the heavyweight title. Just because John Cena is sitting at home rehabbing a pectoral muscle doesn't mean that his theme music has no resonance in today's WWE landscape. If you work in the WWE offices, give a listen. Your time is up. The time is now!

If done correctly, this could be a hot as hell ECW World Title Match at WrestleMania 24:



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Will teams of five indeed strive to survive?

It has been the entire theme of Survivor Series past (at least for the most part,) the 8 to 10 man Elimination Matches. I'm a big fan of this PPV for the Survivor Series matches themselves, so needless to say I get a little pissed during the years that they have little to no Survivor Series Matches themselves. Sorry, but Elimination Chamber doesn't do it for me. Would you scrap the tired and true Royal Rumble format in place of a "Monster Mash" Battle Royal? I would certainly hope not. I'm a big fan of gimmick matches and consistancy, so I'm all for sticking with what brought them to the dance.

Now that we're past the tapings we're unofficially a week past Cyber Sunday and have only announced the WWE Title Match. That's fine and all, there's still time to let feuds culminate in the traditional elimination matches. Seeing as how they've been going with the 6 match PPV format as of late, here is my dream Survivor Series card. I will officially crap my match if any of this actually happens though...

The Great Khali, Mark Henry, Big Daddy V, and MVP, and Edge vs Batista, Undertaker, Kane, Matt Hardy, and Ric Flair (Hyping the returns of both Edge and Flair)

Rey Mysterio, Chuck Palumbo, Jimmy Wang Yang, Jesse, and Festus vs Finlay, Kenny Dykstra, Chris Masters, Deuce, and Domino (Yang's kind of the Wild Card, but it evens things out)

CM Punk, Tommy Dreamer, Stevie Richards, Balls Mahoney, and The Boogeyman vs John Morrison, Kevin Thorn, Elijah Burke, The Miz, and Nunzio (The ECW Roster actually gets a payday!)

Triple H, Jeff Hardy, DH Smith, Cody Rhodes, and Hardcore Holly vs Umaga, Mr Kennedy, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, and Charlie Haas (of course everyone not named Triple H or Umaga would be considered filler)

Santino Marella, Lance Cade, Trevor Murdoch, and The Highlanders vs Paul London, Brian Kendrick, Hornswaggle, Ron Simmons, and Steve Austin (okay this one is stretching it a little but why the hell)

Beth Phoenix, Melina, Victoria, Layla and Jillian Hall vs Kelly Kelly, Mickie James, Maria, Torrie Wilson, and Michelle McCool (When was the last time they had a Women's Survivor Series Match?)

There you have it. While it breaks the mold and has 7 matches on a $40 PPV, I could justify spending the money on a card that looks like this. And keep in mind I haven't felt any PPV this year outside of The Royal Rumble or Wrestlemania worth going to a Sports Bar to watch for the price of dinner...


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Vote for MISTTTTTTTEEEEEERRRR KENNEDY...

Kennedy!

The main event for Cyber Sunday was announced on WWE.com today, and rather than a Randy Orton showdown with either Triple H or HBK with fans picking the stipulations, they can now choose Orton's opponent between Shawn Michaels, Jeff Hardy, and Ken Kennedy. After last night's Raw, fans should vote for Kennedy, and here is why...

John Cena's injury sure has shaken things up a little bit. Does anyone else think that the current title belt should go back on the shelf for a while? The belt Orton currently holds is in the style of the John Cena spinner belt, but alas it does not spin. Still, it looks like a fly peice of bling bling. Cena himself hasn't done the rap stuff for years. Why should Orton not revert back to the "undisputed" style WWE title? I personally would love to see the winged eagle belt return.

Speaking of belts and birds, how about Beth Phoenix. Without doubt she is something to get excited about. PWP writer Daron Smythe has defeated Beth Phoenix via pinfall, and I've heard that he is arguing that he is next in line for a shot at the Glamazon. Good luck with that buddy. Either way, they are working her gimmick to perfection, and finally there is some good women's wrestling back on Raw. I thought when Trish left and Victoria switched brands that we may never see that again. Stupid ass Diva search...

To the Diva search's credit, I actually do enjoy Maria and Candice. While neither of them won that competition, they are products of it. That makes it about as lucrative as Tough Enough, who's pride and joy is former ECW champion John Morrison.

I would say that right now it appears that in order of in ring ability, Victoria remains tops. Right behind her are Mickie James, Beth Phoenix, and Melina. The next level includes your Jillian Hall's and Candice Michelle's, and at the bottom are Maria, Torrie Wilson, and some other nameless worthless bimbos.

Santino Marella continues to benefit from the upswing of not actually ever wrestling a match. His mic work has been histerical for weeks now. Too bad that after Val Venis won an internet poll stating that fans would rather see him as the World Champion than anyone else on the roster, he is doing job duty yet again.

Still, it was nice to see him receive face time rather than ubershitty wrestling personality Hardcore Holly. What type of world is it where the WWE brass see more value in Holly than Venis? Holly has a stupid face, buckteeth, a dumb redneck accent, nothing interesting to say, and is perhaps the most boring wrestler WWE has had in the past 10 years.

He makes Snitsky look like The Rock by comparison. Oh, that's right. Snitsky returned to Raw last night to face Val Venis. Daron Smythe has also wrestled Snitsky, but I am not sure of the result. I wonder if Snitsky had as much bacne then. It's horrible now, which makes me wonder if he stopped taking whatever he was taking when he got his wellness suspension in the first place. Those white lights during his entrance served to make this dude look extra ugly. Still, they are working his ugliness to perfection. Even his in ring work is ugly, but in a way that works for him.

The Bushwhackers 2.0 actually wrestled on Raw last night which makes a few dudes who saw them on the Ontario indy scene happy. Cousin Robbie and Cousin Rory whoa'd and yay'd their way down to the ring with arms swinging for their contest with London and Kendrick. They even stopped to lick a face along the way. Gross...

Anyways, some smart mark buttholes are begging that WWE takes the "handcuffs" off these two and let them show the world what they can do. I'd argue that just about every single wrestler on the WWE roster has the ability to compete at a higher level than they do on a weekly basis on Raw, but WWE has handcuffs on pretty much everyone.

Now what pisses me off is, these are the same people screaming about how terrible John Cena is. How many freaking t-shirts are the Highlanders ever going to sell? I'll tell you, 3000, because that's how many dudes that like wrestling are named Robbie, and will by a shirt that reads: "I'm Robbie!" It's just assinine to me to give these dudes a free pass, but come down on John Cena every week for two plus years.

Now to the beginnings of the WWE title picture. If you are living behind one of Umaga's ass cheeks or all three of Big Daddy V's breasts, you may have missed that that Randy Orton was awarded the WWE title at No Mercy, Triple H defeated him for it, Triple H defended it against Umaga, and then Triple H lost it back to Orton.

Now, many voted Randy Orton the wrestler of the week for the accomplishment of being the last man standing. I would argue that Triple H defeating Umaga and Orton before losing to Orton is a far more impressive feat. Still, I hate Triple H and everything he stands for.

On Raw, he squared off in a handicapped match against both Orton and Umaga. Finally, under the circumstances that he had wrestled three times the night before and was taking on Raw's two biggest heels, Triple H took a freaking beat down. Umaga got a measure of revenge on Triple H for his heelish and unwarranted sledgehammer attacks from months back. All the while Jim Ross screamed at how unecesseary it was for Umaga to rip Triple H apart with his bare hands. Funny how months ago, he popped a raging bbq sauce boner for Triple H beating the shit out of Umaga with a deadly weapon.

Triple H refused medical attention to walk to the back, because he is so bad ass. Remember, this is the dude that got dropped from a car by a crane and wrestled the next week. Last year, Vince McMahon bludgeoned him with a lead pipe, and while Shawn Michaels lay on the mat out cold, Triple H crawled around and attempted to get back up. The dude is a cyborg.

Anyway, the good thing to come out of the whole beatdown was that Triple H got taken out of the WWE title picture. Who got put in in his place? Skinner. Yes that's right folks, Steve Keirn returned to Raw, and apparantely he has kicked that awful tobacco habit. Wait.. Wha? That was Shawn Michaels? No way...

Ok, apparantely Shawn Michaels returned and not Skinner. Wow, totally fooled me. Anyways, now Michaels, Kennedy, and Jeff Hardy will be contending for our votes to face Orton for John Cena's title (I will refer to it as such until the belt design changes).

Now Kennedy has done relatively nothing good since he got on Raw, which has basically killed all his momentum. He jobbed to Super Crazy, was supposed to have killed Mr. McMahon kayfabe until Chris Benoit killed his family shoot, took a wellness suspension that stopped him from being Mr. Kennedy McMahon which I maintain was a blessing rather than a curse, and now he is losing in non-title matches to the guy with the gayest nickname in wrestlng history.

Somehow this has put him in line for a World title shot. Well, we Ken Kennedy fans will take it, because it's about time we had something to be excited about. The best part, the vote is in our hands. Now, I know Shawn Michaels just came back and we are excited to see him dance around and do his JESUS YEAH! entrance pose, but we KNOW that Shawn Michaels will be in the World Title picture and get his match with Orton. Why not make a statement by voting for Ken Kennedy? Of course, this assuming that all of Cyber Sunday isn't a worked fan vote anyway, which it most likely is.

The Triple H/Umaga match logically will get the fans choose the stipulation vote, as it is the only feud on the Raw brand right now with the steam to warrant it. Quite frankly, no one has enough heat to be with Orton in the Cell, no matter how good the match could be.

If you don't live in Mexico and you buy Lilian Garcia's album, may God have mercy on your soul. Go buy Macho Man's album "Be a Man" instead. At least it has long term comedic value.

If you don't vote for Kennedy for Cyber Sunday, I just don't understand. I have been trying to rally you for weeks. It's time to push the new faces of the WWE. Every single time we refuse to let go of the old, we end up in the same old funk. The business does not have to be cyclical. We could vote for Shawn Michaels and he can retire next year, or we can vote for Mr. Kennedy and build towards our future.

If you don't vote for Mr. Kennedy, you are as stupid as TNA for being in talks with malignant locker room cancer Kid Kash. I mean seriously, the guy has no draw value. If you are going to sign a trouble maker, at least sign a guy like Sid, Scott Hall, or try again with the Macho Man. At least there will be some return for your headaches.

Oh, and by the way TNA, your 2 hour Impact premier was terrible to watch, and I hate you for it, because you made one of my best writers, Chris Scott uninterested in coming to work.
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Soup Du Jour

What Monday Night Raw needs to do...Well what can they do, honestly? I'm one on of the many wrestling fans who still has a sour taste in my mouth with the whole Benoit thing. But as much as I'd like to blow off Raw tonight to see an early showing of Transformers the movie (yes I am a nerd, but everyone needs a hobby), in all likely hood I'll be at my house watching Raw and eating a Chicken Palermo Salad (went to the store)!

So Already announced for this evening is Santino Morello Vs. Umaga. Barf! Okay simply put WWE, you brought around Umaga as an undefeatable power, but now you have nothing to do with him. If he wins the title what can he do draw Lashley, Booker T, Orton, or even Jeff Hardy to boost up the I.C. title, well can't do that because then Super Cena will have no one to face (which in MY honest opinion is perfect because he is a safer to bet on than to bet on The Steelers beating the browns). So Easy solution Kill Umaga.

Cena, catch the flu or something so the world knows you are not perfect. Now your WWE Title can be up for grabs for against lets say Randy Orton, Lashley, and HHH (summer slam). Well hold your e-mails and text messages..."what about King Booker T" right? Well here is what needs to happen, King Booker gets pick pocketed by Cryme Time and reverts to hood to get even, and then eventually joins with cryme time with thebrooklyn boys to form The Harlem and Brooklyn Connection, a.k.a. the HBC. HBC then Fueds with The Tag Team Champs (next paragraph) and The WWE Champ John Cena who is accused of being a honkey.

The Tag Team Champs Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch will begin to fued with the Hardys more and then London and Kendrick will join in. The three of these teams I can see being this generations or a poor mans version of the Hardys, Dudleys, Edge and Christian TLC matches. However the fourth team will emerge, Cryme Time, whose different style will catch these tag teams off guard. Boosting the Tag division to an instant fan favorite.

If this happens I'd be greatly supprised. All I want is a little variety in title holders. I don't like to going to pay-per-views and predicting the entire card with out seeing a match. If I had my way we'd see:

#1 a new WWE Champ I prefer Mr. Kennedy(when he can come back)or HHH or Randy Orton
#2 Santino Vs. Shelton Benjiman or Crazy or Davari or Jeff Hardy
#3 World Tag Champs The Rednecks fued with the obvious Racial Difference Controversy = Cash
#4 Hardys Vs. London Kendrick Obviously the world is not ready to see Matt and Jeff like the used to be I.E. London and Kendrick
#5 I want one or 2 stables I wanted a DX / N.W.O Fued so bad last year...But if Booker T drops the accent and joins cryme time that would be enough for me.
#6 Less womens matches as the match before the main event on PPV's

And I'd also like to see the Triumphant Return of the Soup Du Jour! More on This Story...