Soup Du Jour: I'm actually excited!

How are you all? Doing well I hope! Because FINALLY I can say that the WWE!

I would like to physically show you how nice it was to see Jericho sell the RKO! Then I told myself that Y2J had been selling "diamond cutters" since Lil' Randy was a nut stain on old Cowboy Bob's saddle! As a matter of fact it was actually nice to see someone in the WWE other than Jeff Hardy look speedy, svelte, and small...but actually compete with the "big dogs".

Speaking of that frankly, how bad of a message can Snitsky send. In this age of steroid speculation how is a larger than life individual with body acne supposed to not raise an eye brow? I AM NOT CONVICTING ANYONE OF USING OR ABUSING, but just stating a point that crossed my mind.

I hope that this supposed boom that Linda McMahon spoke of earlier this year is the revalation of smaller is better! Spearheading the way hopefully be Y2J and his match with Jeff Hardy at The Rumble being the begining of this new phase all things pending. Y2J, Hardy, Mr. Kennedy, Randy Orton, and (hopefully the rumors maybe true even though its as slim as an ice cube's chance in hell) a slim, sleek, Rock! I am not necessarily saying kill off the Umaga's and Great Khali's of the world. Just use them spairingly...they will come in use soon enough!

Well keep dreaming, Baltimore just scored!



More on This Story...

For Lack of a More Creative Title: My Thoughts on Survivor Series

I went to a local sports bar last Sunday to check out Survivor Series. This was the first Pay Per View I had actually watched since Wrestlemania, not counting a couple of post-WM PPVs that they showed on WWE 24/7. My expectations going into the show were pretty low and there wasn't really one match that I felt that I was really watching the PPV for (the last time that happened was the advertised Punk/Benoit match, and we all know how THAT turned out.) Regardless, I was looking forward to it because it was Survivor Series, and because it was one of the "Big Four" Events of the year.

Three hours later, I would be very surprised at how much I enjoyed it, considering how disappointed I was with some of the previous PPVs I saw. As the show opened, I groaned at the fact that the ECW Title match was starting off the show… again. However, by the time it had ended I was more appreciative of the match that just took place, and even more appreciative of the decision to have it start the show. I was reminded at that time of a booking philosophy that a good friend of mine had... put the best match on paper (with the babyface going over) as the opener, regardless of its importance, to get the crowd hot and set the tone for the rest of the show. It certainly worked here, especially since a lot of people were expecting Punk to drop the belt back to Morrison. On a side note, with Punk surviving this match, the ECW/SD merger, and Morrison/Miz now Smackdown's Tag Champs, this should be a great opportunity for Punk to start a fresh new title program with someone from the Smackdown brand. My initial thought of a perfect candidate for this was Finlay, but later in the night those thoughts would seem to be fizzled out…

Next up was the Womens tag match. I won't complain because this was actually one match I had on my Survivor Series wishlist. Not because I was interested in seeing eye candy or because I thought it would be a blockbuster match, but because it made more sense booking-wise at this event than a Singles Match for the Womens Title. I don't think they could have done a better job with this (again, booking-wise) as each girl got to do their thing, it helped put over Mickie on her way to challenging Beth Phoenix for the Womens Title, and it didn't hurt Phoenix's credibility as Champion. It didn't drag out too long and it wasn't too short to lose it's meaning. I should mention, however, that Melina falling off of the ring apron during her entrance caused the bar to explode for their 2nd biggest pop of the night.

*Note* Apparently there was a nip slip courtesy of Michelle McCool in this match that I totally missed. Damnit...

The Tag Team Title Match was what it was. I would have rather seen Cade and Murdoch vs London and Kendrick, but this was something fresh that they hadn't put on a PPV already. The match was fine, but I don't Trevor Murdoch's version of the Code Red should be done by someone the size of Trevor Murdoch. I'm sorry, but it just doesn't look right. Trevor, either please go back to your trusty old Bulldog or just let Cade do his sweet sitout spinebuster (Note: I'm totally stealling that move.)

If anything, this is what I was anticipating the most… the Traditional Survivor Series Match. Why they couldn't give some other deserving babyface a PPV Payday by subbing them in place of Matt Hardy was beyond me. The match was pretty entertaining overall and I was actually quite surprised by the outcome. Perhaps this is the first step towards pushing Jeff Hardy as a legitimate Main Eventer and World Title Contender. Triple H's save for Hardy the next night on Raw helped solidify the fact that they're taking a step in the right direction by having one of the top stars giving a younger guy the rub.

I wasn't expecting much with Hornswoggle/The Great Khali, as I knew it was going to be a throwaway match. I actually found it pretty entertaining, and was rather surprised by the Finlay run in/save. I must admit, I think Finlay would make a pretty badass babyface. If anyone can carry Khali to a good match, it just might be him. I'm interested to see how this one develops.

Orton/Michaels was terrific. They told a great story with the stipulations, and the bar I was in ERUPTED when Michaels locked on that Crippler Crossface. I'm not sure if enough time has passed in the WWE's eyes, but maybe this will be the start of not trying to rewrite history by not mentioning He Who Shall Not Be Named.

Undertaker/Batista was good, but by that time I was burned out from sitting through a 3 hour Football game and 3 hour Wrestling show, and I just didn't care. The booking of the finish was pretty nice, with Edge getting involved, although I found it kind of odd that he singled out the Undertaker and NOT Batista. Perhaps laying them both out and letting the match go to a non-finish would have been the best thing to do given the match that's booked for Smackdown this week, but then again, what MORE could he have done to Batista at that point?

Now a week out of the PPV, there are several interesting storylines developed to carry us over until the Royal Rumble when the push for Wrestlemania really begins. On Raw there's the Hardy/HHH relationship and Y2J/Orton to look forward to. On Smackdown, there's the continued push of Jaime Noble and an interesting Main Event scene involving Batista, Edge, and The Undertaker. In the land of Extreme, you have the newly drafted Shelton Benjamin and repackaged Kevin Thorn as possible feuds for CM Punk. Things are starting to look positive for WWE, as they're freshening up their product a bit and making things appealing again. More on This Story...

Time to Play the Game

I've been playing a lot of Smackdown vs. Raw 2007 lately. I run raw in General Manager mode. One of my struggles is to keep my roster up-to-date with WWE's current offering. I don't go through the trouble of creating guys that aren't there, but I do release guys that the WWE has actually released. The reason that this is a struggle is because anyone who is not on your brand is not yours to release and make unavailable. I have done a pretty good job however. Currently the only active wrestler on the game who has been released in real life is the recently released Chris Masters.

I assume that when WrestleMania occurs for the umpteenth time, I can acquire him and send him back to whence he came. I just completed another Royal Rumble. The Great Khali picked up the victory, but rather than beating 29 other men, he defeated 26. Why? Well, with WWE releasing so many guys in the past year, There just aren't enough guys to fill out the Rumble.

Smackdown vs. Raw 2008 came out yesterday, and as of this writing, I do not own it. The only thing I know for sure is that in the time between the last game and this one, WWE has gotten rid of a number of their SvR 2007 roster members. Aren't these guys supposed to be the cream of WWE's crop?

Well, if that's true, WWE should be in a lot worse shape than they are now. After all, these aren't just the scrubs that are no longer there. Former World Champions like Big Show, Booker T, Chris Benoit, Kurt Angle, and Rob Van Dam are among those who have departed since the last edition of the popular game. I would add JBL and Mick Foley to those names. JBL is no longer an active wrestler, and while I question Foley's addition as a regular roster member last year, it is without doubt that he hasn't stepped in the ring for a match anytime recently.

William Regal is another superstar who like JBL has strong WWE ties, but no longer serves a regular active in-ring role.

After these guys the biggest releases come from the Women's division. It's nothing impressive to be a former Women's Champion. Almost every WWE diva can lay claim to that title. Not every diva can claim to be Trish Stratus or Lita however. These two women revolutionized WWE women's wrestling.

The rest of the releases are made up of a lot of guys who frankly never really would have meant much. The only member of the list that I could have ever imagined with a World Title reign would have been Chris Masters. Unfortunately, he was unable to deal with the pressures of his gimmick in relation to the WWE Wellness Policy.

The other guys who have left WWE television include Daivari, Joey Mercury, Kid Kash, Paul Burchill, Psicosis, and Vito.

With rumors that Carlito may be the next on his way out the door, the prospects of me filling a Royal Rumble ring on SvR 2007 looks even bleaker.

The outlook for SvR 2008 isn't much better. Chris Masters, King Booker, JTG, Marquis Cor Von, The Sandman, Shad and Sabu have already been released and the game just came out. Again, William Regal is serving in a non-wrestling role. Who knows who will still be around by the 2009 edition? By the time I pick it up for Christmas, I may already be unable to have a true Royal Rumble.

That's ok with me though. I have a ways to go with Smackdown vs. Raw 07. After all, my video game is about the only place in wrestling that can boast a hot tag team division. DX, The Brothers of Destruction, Finlay and Regal, and Cade and Murdoch aren't too shabby. Add occasional appearances from Rated-RKO, Umaga and the Great Khali, and John Cena and Batista, and you'd swear it was 1989 when it comes to the depth of tag teams who are actually over.

For those who are curious, my full roster currently consists of Batista, Edge, Finlay, Khali, Cena, Nitro and Melina, Kane, Ken Kennedy, Lance Cade, Randy Orton, Rey Mysterio, Ric Flair, Shawn Michaels, Shelton Benjamin, Trevor Murdoch, Triple H, Umaga, The Undertaker, and William Regal. Yeah, I know. I'm stacked!

So if the World were perfect and WWE released Smackdown vs. Raw 2008 tommorow, who should be on the active roster?

Last years game included 44 active wrestlers. Assuming that the game is continually getting better, let's add six.

1. Shelton Benjamin
2. Lance Cade
3. Carlito
4. Charlie Haas
5. Jeff Hardy
6. Brian Kendrick
7. Mr. Kennedy
8. Santino Marella
9. Paul London
10. Shawn Michaels
11. Trevor Murdoch
12. Randy Orton
13. Cody Rhodes
14. Snitsky
15. Triple H
16. Umaga
17. Chris Jericho (Unlockable)
18. John Cena
19. Bobby Lashley
20. DH Smith
21. Val Venis
22. Batista
23. Deuce
24. Domino
25. Kenny Dykstra
26. Finlay
27. The Great Khali
28. Matt Hardy
29. Mark Henry
30. Kane
31. Rey Mysterio
32. Jamie Noble
33. Chuck Palumbo
34. MVP
35. The Undertaker
36. Jimmy Wang Yang
37. Edge
38. Ric Flair
39. Chavo Guerrero
40. Gregory Helms
41. Big Daddy V
42. Elijah Burke
43. CM Punk
44. Tommy Dreamer
45. John Morrison
46. The Miz
47. The Boogeyman
48. Stevie Richards
49. Matt Striker
50. Kevin Thorn

The last game included seven divas. If we can get the number up to ten, WWE should include:

1. Jillian Hall
2. Mickie James
3. Maria
4. Melina
5. Beth Phoenix
6. Candice Michelle
7. Michelle McCool
8. Victoria
9. Torrie Wilson
10. Kelly Kelly

The last game included 16 legends. Let's bump to 20:

1. Hulk Hogan
2. Randy Savage
3. Bret Hart
4. Steve Austin
5. The Rock
6. Arn Anderson
7. Ricky Steamboat
8. Ted Dibiase
9. Barry Windham
10. Andre the Giant
11. The Ultimate Warrior
12. Jake "The Snake" Roberts
13. Vader
14. Yokozuna
15. Mr. Perfect
16. Ax
17. Smash
18. Sid
19. Owen Hart
20. Razor Ramon












More on This Story...

Weight Classes Could Help Drug Problem in Wrestling

When you turn on the television to watch wrestling, what do you see? Big beefy bodies usually. Tall, muscular heavyweight wrestlers are the rule of thumb in wrestling, for a variety of reasons.

I do not think the average person understands how difficult it is for a person to weigh in over 200 lbs. on a six foot frame and have a low body fat percentage. There is a reason that people that have body types like that are on the covers of magazines and can make good money with such a physique - it is not common. And, while having the talent to become a WWE star is not common either, proficiency at a sport does not necessarily require the physique of a Greek god.

Look at the sport of football. Big beefy offensive linemen are often promoted as being complete pigs because of their physique. Hell, football players like Mike Golic have even made careers after their playing days on the idea that linemen are eating machines. I’m sure everyone has heard a story about a local pro, college, or even high school team’s linemen going to some kind of buffet and being asked to leave after eating plate upon plate of food. In the NFL, these guys are athletes of the highest magnitude, and weigh an average of 285 lbs.

I ask you to take a look at your favorite NFL team next Sunday. How many of those players look as “ripped” as the WWE wrestlers? How many of them are built like bodybuilders? These guys are of the same height and weight as required by the WWE and are some of the highest paid athletes on the planet. They are required to be in the best possible physical condition to compete at the highest level of their sport.
Not to look like they are in the top condition to compete at the highest level.

According to people that I have spoken to that have been to places like OVW, or that have been scouted by Vince McMahon’s World Wrestling Entertainment, Inc., the only major wrestling promotion in the United States is not interested in any wrestlers who are under 250 pounds, and under 6’2” tall. In addition to those minimum requirements, they expect their wrestlers to have “the look”. “The Look” is a catch-all term meaning “the look of a bodybuilder”.

Chris Masters is a great example of this. This is a guy that, from the outside looking in, was not a great wrestler. The WWE even promoted him as having the body of a Greek god – thus he was branded “The Masterpiece”. Outside pressures (such as wrestlers dying and/or murdering their families) forced the WWE to start testing its competitors for steroids and other performance enhancing drugs and illegal narcotics such as marijuana. Suddenly, Masters found himself suspended. Then, he was ridiculed on television for losing weight while not taking the banned substances. It should be no surprise then that he failed another test, and was suspended again shortly after gaining most of his muscle mass back.

Last week, Masters was suspended yet again, and then released. No where did we hear any reports about McMahon or the WWE putting Masters into a drug counseling program, or the FBI or ATF questioning him about where he was getting these substances. This kid was chewed up and spit out by the WWE machine simply because he had “the look” and they required him to maintain this look. Afterall, wrestling skill was not important.

I am willing to bet that there are about 25 wrestlers who had a fair amount of publicity and reputation that, if they had debuted in the WWE in 2005, could have gained a fan following and drawn more money for the company than Masters. But, they were not winners of amateur bodybuilding contests like Masters. Nor were they all over six feet tall.

Simply put, the WWE does not hire the best wrestlers in the world; they hire people who look like models. Alex Rodriguez is poised to become the highest paid athlete in the planet, and I guarantee that not one team that is thinking of signing him has debated whether or not he has “the look” of a baseball player. No, A-Rod can prove all he needs to with a look at his stats. If he looks nice in his underwear, maybe he can pick up modeling work endorsing… underwear. Charles Barkley was always known as the “Round Mound of Rebound” because he was pudgy. Barkley also was a multiple time all-star and is on his way to the hall of fame because he could play basketball. Not because he had six pack abs.

So, why is having “the look” so important in wrestling? A look that, simply put, is not natural.

According to the American Heart Lung and Blood Institute, a person who is 6’2” and 250 lbs is obese. A person of that size would have a Body Mass Index of 32.1 – 2.1 points over the obesity threshold. While the ignorant masses watching RAW every Monday may look at stars such as John Cena and think that this is what an athlete is supposed to look like, it is actually the exact opposite. Looking like what the WWE wants is unhealthy.

I think there is a simple solution to all of this: weight classes.

The hottest fighting sport in the world right now is the Ultimate Fighting Championships. UFC is destroying the WWE when it comes to pay-per-view. UFC PPV events average about 400,000 buys – and they now take place on a monthly basis. While they may not generate the television revenue that WWE does, UFC sells nearly double what WWE does on PPV. When you ask people to name UFC stars they will often name Chuck Liddell, Randy Couture, Quinton Jackson, Rich Franklin, and Ken Shamrock. Except for Couture, none of those men fight as heavyweights for UFC. And Couture has fought most of his career as both a heavyweight, and a light heavyweight.

So, if no one wants to see average size people fight, why is UFC destroying WWE at the PPV box office? While there are a variety of factors why UFC may be a booming business, my argument is that the size of the competitor is not one of them.

Vince McMahon and people of his same train of thought will tell you that people will not pay to see “small” wrestlers because they want to be entertained by “larger than life characters”. That mentality comes from the fact that for years, the most prestigious title in all of sports was the Heavyweight Champion of the World. In Boxing. Why was it prestigious? Because the heavyweight division had characters like John L. Sullivan, Jack Johnson, Rocky Marciano, Muhammad Ali, George Foreman, Joe Frazier, and many, many more. These were all first class athletes, sure. They also were first class personalities. Guys like Jerry Cooney may have been good fighters, but they had no personality, so they were not stars. Roy Jones, Ray Leonard, Shane Mosley, Oscar de la Hoya – these guys are stars too because they had personality – despite not being heavyweights.

The WWE machine is about creating and branding a “personality”, rather than letting an athlete’s real personality shine thru. The territory days and the studio style of promo have gone away in favor of the WWE telling someone what their personality is. The WWE does not sign the best personalities it can find, they go for the bodies that define what wrestling should be to Vince McMahon.

What UFC has done is find a formula for promoting the personalities of their fighters in a way the WWE no longer does. UFC has press conferences, interviews with legitimate media outlets, and lets their fighters be themselves on their television shows such as “The Ultimate Fighter”. UFC has promoted their heavyweights as hard hitting and their smaller fighters as quick and exciting. Guys weighing in at 170lbs and standing 6’5” is not as uncommon as you might think. Heavyweights weighing in at 265 lbs and not having ripped six pack abs are the norm. Hell, guys like Chuck Liddell even get over with the fans because their bodies are more like a “working man”. UFC shows the monster eight hour workouts that guys like Tito Ortiz put themselves thru – and you see that Ortiz isn’t as ripped as Chris Masters. Ortiz trains to fight. Vince McMahon seems to have forgotten that is what is supposed to be going on in the ring – a fight.

“Weight Class” is a dirty phrase in wrestling. Everyone wants to be heavyweight champ, not a “junior” champ. Well, at least in the United States. Other than when WCW promoted the Cruiserweight Division in the late 1990’s, no major promotion in the US has given non-heavyweights a forum to get over a different style of ring work. In Japan, maybe you could debate if it was more prestigious to be the IWGP Heavyweight or Junior Heavyweight Champion in New Japan. In Mexico, the most prestigious championships are the CMLL and NWA Light Heavyweight Championships. In UFC, the division where the big money marquee matches are is the Light Heavyweight. Two guys under 200 lbs. fighting for a title can draw 20,000 paying fans to an arena in Japan, Mexico, and the US – but not for the WWE. Or so says Vince McMahon.

Currently, the WWE has three different heavyweight championships. They have zero singles championships for non-heavyweights (or did you not notice that the Cruiserweight Championship disappeared after Hornswaggle won it?). Is it even at all possible to conceive that there are not enough wrestlers out there less than 200 lbs. for the largest wrestling company in the world to put together a division for them, but they have so many good heavyweights that they put together three different divisions for them?

Maybe the WWE product would become less stale, fewer wrestlers would die, and ratings and buyrates would increase if the WWE actually promoted wrestling by athletes instead of crappy acting by bodybuilders.
Here is what the WWE could do:

Hold a tournament to merge the Raw, Smackdown and ECW Heavyweight titles, as well as the US and Intercontinental titles. The winner would be the only heavyweight holding a singles title in the WWE. Plenty of room in this division for guys like HHH, Batista, Undertaker, Mark Henry, Khali, Randy Orton, Bobby Lashley, Ken Kennedy, John Cena, and others.

Hold a sixteen man cruiserweight tournament, with the winner getting the revived Cruiserweight Championship. This would only be for wrestlers who weigh less than 200 lbs., such as Super Crazzy, Matt Hardy, Shawn Michaels, Carlito Colon, Cody Rhodes, Chavito Guerrero, Montel Porter, Greg Helms, Elijah Burke, Stevie Richards, and Edge.

Introduce a “Welterweight” Championship for wrestlers weighing less than 175lbsWrestlers such as Shannon Moore, Rey Misterio, Jr., Jimmy Yang, Jeff Hardy, Spanky Kendick, Paul London, CM Punk, The Miz, and John Morrison could compete in this division.

I’m not even going to get into tag teams, as that could be another topic completely (Hmmm… next week’s blog topic?!?), but you cannot tell me that the prospect of a card with three big title matches consisting of Batista/Undertaker, Hardy/MVP and Morrison/Punk would draw worse then anything they do now – because that is the same damn thing they are pushing now.

The difference is that by introducing titles for different weight classes, you keep wrestlers healthy, and you have to bring something to that weight class to get a shot in the first place. Bigger isn’t always better.

Just ask Chris Masters.


More on This Story...

Remembering Moolah

Lillian Ellison, better known by her alias, The Fabulous Moolah passed away over this weekend. A true legend, Moolah is given credit by Beth Phoenix, Tammy Sytch, Victoria, and many others as being the reason that they have had such successful careers in the world of professional wrestling.

The first woman to hold both the NWA and WWF women's championships, Moolah grew up idolizing another legend in Mildred Burke. Ellison debuted as Slave Girl Moolah, but later went on to become dominant under her more well-known Fabulous name. Her first World title reign begin in the mid 1950's, and she would hold the Women's world title on and off all the way until the 1980's. Revisionist WWE history suggests she never lost the title during that 30 year period, and while that's not true, the amount of time she didn't hold the belt was a period of weeks.

The first real professional wrestling "screwjob" occured when Moolah regained her title by beating Wendi Richter. She would dominate for two more years. Moolah dissapeared as the Women's championship lost steam in the U.S. In 1995 she became the first woman in the WWE Hall of Fame.

Moolah began making semi-regular WWE appearances in 1999, and actually captured the World title again at the age of 76. Moolah wrestled her last televised WWE match against Victoria on her 80th birthday. After defeating my favorite diva, she received an RKO from Legend Killer Randy Orton.

WWE had the following to say about Moolah:

"WWE is saddened by the passing of Lillian Ellison, who was known to sports-entertainment fans as Hall of Famer Fabulous Moolah. She passed away last night in Columbia, S.C.

In the world of women’s wrestling, there will always be one irrefutable legend that stands head and shoulders above the rest: The Fabulous Moolah. She was the longest reigning champion in the history of her chosen sport, or any sport for that matter. And with more than 50 years in the business to her credit, she established a legacy that will never be forgotten, making her name synonymous with female wrestling."
More on This Story...

Vote for MISTTTTTTTEEEEEERRRR KENNEDY...

Kennedy!

The main event for Cyber Sunday was announced on WWE.com today, and rather than a Randy Orton showdown with either Triple H or HBK with fans picking the stipulations, they can now choose Orton's opponent between Shawn Michaels, Jeff Hardy, and Ken Kennedy. After last night's Raw, fans should vote for Kennedy, and here is why...

John Cena's injury sure has shaken things up a little bit. Does anyone else think that the current title belt should go back on the shelf for a while? The belt Orton currently holds is in the style of the John Cena spinner belt, but alas it does not spin. Still, it looks like a fly peice of bling bling. Cena himself hasn't done the rap stuff for years. Why should Orton not revert back to the "undisputed" style WWE title? I personally would love to see the winged eagle belt return.

Speaking of belts and birds, how about Beth Phoenix. Without doubt she is something to get excited about. PWP writer Daron Smythe has defeated Beth Phoenix via pinfall, and I've heard that he is arguing that he is next in line for a shot at the Glamazon. Good luck with that buddy. Either way, they are working her gimmick to perfection, and finally there is some good women's wrestling back on Raw. I thought when Trish left and Victoria switched brands that we may never see that again. Stupid ass Diva search...

To the Diva search's credit, I actually do enjoy Maria and Candice. While neither of them won that competition, they are products of it. That makes it about as lucrative as Tough Enough, who's pride and joy is former ECW champion John Morrison.

I would say that right now it appears that in order of in ring ability, Victoria remains tops. Right behind her are Mickie James, Beth Phoenix, and Melina. The next level includes your Jillian Hall's and Candice Michelle's, and at the bottom are Maria, Torrie Wilson, and some other nameless worthless bimbos.

Santino Marella continues to benefit from the upswing of not actually ever wrestling a match. His mic work has been histerical for weeks now. Too bad that after Val Venis won an internet poll stating that fans would rather see him as the World Champion than anyone else on the roster, he is doing job duty yet again.

Still, it was nice to see him receive face time rather than ubershitty wrestling personality Hardcore Holly. What type of world is it where the WWE brass see more value in Holly than Venis? Holly has a stupid face, buckteeth, a dumb redneck accent, nothing interesting to say, and is perhaps the most boring wrestler WWE has had in the past 10 years.

He makes Snitsky look like The Rock by comparison. Oh, that's right. Snitsky returned to Raw last night to face Val Venis. Daron Smythe has also wrestled Snitsky, but I am not sure of the result. I wonder if Snitsky had as much bacne then. It's horrible now, which makes me wonder if he stopped taking whatever he was taking when he got his wellness suspension in the first place. Those white lights during his entrance served to make this dude look extra ugly. Still, they are working his ugliness to perfection. Even his in ring work is ugly, but in a way that works for him.

The Bushwhackers 2.0 actually wrestled on Raw last night which makes a few dudes who saw them on the Ontario indy scene happy. Cousin Robbie and Cousin Rory whoa'd and yay'd their way down to the ring with arms swinging for their contest with London and Kendrick. They even stopped to lick a face along the way. Gross...

Anyways, some smart mark buttholes are begging that WWE takes the "handcuffs" off these two and let them show the world what they can do. I'd argue that just about every single wrestler on the WWE roster has the ability to compete at a higher level than they do on a weekly basis on Raw, but WWE has handcuffs on pretty much everyone.

Now what pisses me off is, these are the same people screaming about how terrible John Cena is. How many freaking t-shirts are the Highlanders ever going to sell? I'll tell you, 3000, because that's how many dudes that like wrestling are named Robbie, and will by a shirt that reads: "I'm Robbie!" It's just assinine to me to give these dudes a free pass, but come down on John Cena every week for two plus years.

Now to the beginnings of the WWE title picture. If you are living behind one of Umaga's ass cheeks or all three of Big Daddy V's breasts, you may have missed that that Randy Orton was awarded the WWE title at No Mercy, Triple H defeated him for it, Triple H defended it against Umaga, and then Triple H lost it back to Orton.

Now, many voted Randy Orton the wrestler of the week for the accomplishment of being the last man standing. I would argue that Triple H defeating Umaga and Orton before losing to Orton is a far more impressive feat. Still, I hate Triple H and everything he stands for.

On Raw, he squared off in a handicapped match against both Orton and Umaga. Finally, under the circumstances that he had wrestled three times the night before and was taking on Raw's two biggest heels, Triple H took a freaking beat down. Umaga got a measure of revenge on Triple H for his heelish and unwarranted sledgehammer attacks from months back. All the while Jim Ross screamed at how unecesseary it was for Umaga to rip Triple H apart with his bare hands. Funny how months ago, he popped a raging bbq sauce boner for Triple H beating the shit out of Umaga with a deadly weapon.

Triple H refused medical attention to walk to the back, because he is so bad ass. Remember, this is the dude that got dropped from a car by a crane and wrestled the next week. Last year, Vince McMahon bludgeoned him with a lead pipe, and while Shawn Michaels lay on the mat out cold, Triple H crawled around and attempted to get back up. The dude is a cyborg.

Anyway, the good thing to come out of the whole beatdown was that Triple H got taken out of the WWE title picture. Who got put in in his place? Skinner. Yes that's right folks, Steve Keirn returned to Raw, and apparantely he has kicked that awful tobacco habit. Wait.. Wha? That was Shawn Michaels? No way...

Ok, apparantely Shawn Michaels returned and not Skinner. Wow, totally fooled me. Anyways, now Michaels, Kennedy, and Jeff Hardy will be contending for our votes to face Orton for John Cena's title (I will refer to it as such until the belt design changes).

Now Kennedy has done relatively nothing good since he got on Raw, which has basically killed all his momentum. He jobbed to Super Crazy, was supposed to have killed Mr. McMahon kayfabe until Chris Benoit killed his family shoot, took a wellness suspension that stopped him from being Mr. Kennedy McMahon which I maintain was a blessing rather than a curse, and now he is losing in non-title matches to the guy with the gayest nickname in wrestlng history.

Somehow this has put him in line for a World title shot. Well, we Ken Kennedy fans will take it, because it's about time we had something to be excited about. The best part, the vote is in our hands. Now, I know Shawn Michaels just came back and we are excited to see him dance around and do his JESUS YEAH! entrance pose, but we KNOW that Shawn Michaels will be in the World Title picture and get his match with Orton. Why not make a statement by voting for Ken Kennedy? Of course, this assuming that all of Cyber Sunday isn't a worked fan vote anyway, which it most likely is.

The Triple H/Umaga match logically will get the fans choose the stipulation vote, as it is the only feud on the Raw brand right now with the steam to warrant it. Quite frankly, no one has enough heat to be with Orton in the Cell, no matter how good the match could be.

If you don't live in Mexico and you buy Lilian Garcia's album, may God have mercy on your soul. Go buy Macho Man's album "Be a Man" instead. At least it has long term comedic value.

If you don't vote for Kennedy for Cyber Sunday, I just don't understand. I have been trying to rally you for weeks. It's time to push the new faces of the WWE. Every single time we refuse to let go of the old, we end up in the same old funk. The business does not have to be cyclical. We could vote for Shawn Michaels and he can retire next year, or we can vote for Mr. Kennedy and build towards our future.

If you don't vote for Mr. Kennedy, you are as stupid as TNA for being in talks with malignant locker room cancer Kid Kash. I mean seriously, the guy has no draw value. If you are going to sign a trouble maker, at least sign a guy like Sid, Scott Hall, or try again with the Macho Man. At least there will be some return for your headaches.

Oh, and by the way TNA, your 2 hour Impact premier was terrible to watch, and I hate you for it, because you made one of my best writers, Chris Scott uninterested in coming to work.
More on This Story...

The Cyclical Wrestling Business

So two weeks ago I asked what it is that even makes a superstar? One week ago I talked about professionally wrestling's surprisingly deep free agent market. I got some great responses on a free agent roster that I will share a bit later, but first I want to talk about the cyclical nature of wrestling, because it's an argument that I have heard 1000 times that I am just not buying.

Months ago, Linda McMahon stated that professional wrestling was about to reach another boom period. So what creates these cycles?

Well, the first is simply talent. In the 1980's, Vince McMahon purchased the best superstars from every territory to create his national brand. The chance to see the best of the best from around the world together in something other than a Pro Wrestling Illustrated magazine was undoubtedly exciting, and Vince was printing money.

However, Vince seemed to forget something very important along the way. His business is with human beings. Human beings grow older. Human beings have wants and needs. Pretty soon the early nineties appeared, and many of those from the Rock N' Wrestling Generation had retired. Ted Turner purchased those remaining, much the way they were purchased by Vince a decade earlier.

In the meantime, Vince hadn't created any new stars. He had latched his wagon onto workhorses like Hulk Hogan and let them take him as far as they could pull. So when Hogan was gone, Vince had to turn to Bret Hart and Lex Luger to pull the weight. The results were less than thrilling.

In time, Razor Ramon, Diesel, and Shawn Michaels separated themselves from the pack as special talents. Ramon and Diesel were then lured away by the almighty dollar as well, but luckily for Vince, he had recently acquired the underappreciated former WCW talent Steve Austin, and there was a third generation superstar on the horizon.

Initially Vince stuck with his tired formula. The third generation superstar was called Rocky Miavia, and pushed down the throats of fans as an undeniable babyface. Austin was given the gimmick of the Ringmaster and the Million Dollar Belt to boot. Nothing was going to change ratings until Vince McMahon changed his philosophy.

A rumbling was taking place that would shake the core of professional wrestling. Paul Heyman took a group of WWE and WCW rejects, matched them up with guys no one had ever heard of, and created one of the most exciting products in wrestling history. When the cult following started to become a mainstream fanfare, Vince had the answer.

WWE Attitude took the audience back from WCW and created the second significant wrestling boom of the past 30 years. Much like when Vince McMahon had put all his eggs into Hogan's basket in the 80's, he was going to milk Attitude for all it was worth as the late nineties rolled into the new millennium.

If the Attitude Era were a large plentiful orange in 1997, WWE was still squeezing the hell out of it in 2006 in order to quench the fans thirst. Then one day, Vince woke up and looked at the talent around him. Steve Austin had retired. The Rock had left to go do movies. Mick Foley was not going to be flying off any cages. Instead a new crop of talent surrounded him. Bobby Lashley, Ken Kennedy, Umaga…

Vince decided the first thing to do was release Scotty 2 Hotty. After all, nothing screamed hanging on to 1997 like this guy still doing the Too Cool dance and the worm ten years later.

It was time to shake off a half decade of bad investments. Since the WWF became the WWE, Vince and company have put a great deal of time and money into guys that simply didn't pan out. The emergence of the NWO in the WWE didn't work because of injuries to Kevin Nash and the conduct of Scott Hall. Hulkamania was reignited, but only long enough to give him some big wins over guys like Triple H, Shawn Michaels, and Randy Orton, only to see him disappear again with no real benefit to the company.

For a full year Vince pushed Brock Lesnar on Smackdown and Goldberg on Raw. By the time their dream match was scheduled at Wrestlemania, both had decided that they were done with the WWE, and a retired Steve Austin got the rub from stunning them both on their departure.

WWE chose to let go of the Dudley Boyz. While their routine was admittedly tired, shouldn't they have put someone over on their way out for the future viability of the tag division? What about Christian and Chris Jericho? These guys were in the title picture at Summerslam and then gone before the Royal Rumble.

One can't miss prospect that WWE was looking to was Muhammed Hassan. After the time they put into making Hassan a true contender, he was drafted to Smackdown and then had to be removed from TV for a controversial angle.

It wasn't just the men's department where WWE was hurting. In a short period they lost three of their most established divas as well when Stacy Keibler, Trish Stratus, and Lita all said goodbye.

Just last year The Big Show quit after a lengthy run as ECW champion and a main event program with Degeneration X.

All of these releases as individual instances are not a big deal. All of them together, however, are pretty significant. Figure into that the deaths of Owen Hart and Eddie Guerrero, and you have a recipe for disaster.

It's actually quite impressive that WWE is doing as well as they are right now. With Triple H, Shawn Michaels, and the Undertaker as the corporate backbone, WWE was able to develop John Cena, Batista, Randy Orton, and more into this new crop of superstars.

However, just when things were looking up, Triple H, Shawn Michaels, and the Undertaker go down to injuries. Following suit are Rey Mysterio, King Booker, and Ken Kennedy. Rob Van Dam leaves the company. Chris Benoit kills himself. Edge gets hurt. Bobby Lashley gets hurt. Then after Triple H, Mysterio, and the Undertaker come back, 10-12 superstars get Wellness-related suspensions. When those guys on the Wellness suspensions return, John Cena tears his pectoral muscle.

So John Cena is injured and smarks around the world are rejoicing as if the war in Iraq were finally over. I for one don't see the upside.

Say what you will about John Cena, and wrestling sites have about said it all ad nauseam, but John Cena has proven to be something special. His name on the marquee draws crowds, his image on cotton sells t-shirts, his persona both live and on television stays over, and his programs with Edge, Randy Orton, Triple H, Umaga, and others make for damn good wrestling television.

So what do people have to say about the heir-apparent to the WWE throne? He's no Hulk Hogan. He's no Steve Austin. He's no Rock. You know what? That's completely true.

Hulk Hogan, Steve Austin, and The Rock are arguably the three biggest stars in the history of professional wrestling. John Cena has commonalities with all three men, but he certainly is not able to fill their shoes.

Like the Rock, Cena came into the WWE as a bluechipper. Fans didn't accept his babyface character, and he was quickly pushed into being a heel and developed his own personality. Like Steve Austin, John Cena became an ass-kicking anti hero, as his foul mouth and controversial actions only endeared him more to the WWE crowd. Like Hulk Hogan, he captured the imagination of children everywhere and became an almost unstoppable force.

What the Rock, Steve Austin, and Hulk Hogan had going for them is that they were allowed to be themselves with the volume turned way up. What John Cena has working against him is that he is expected to be some type of amalgamation of those who came before him.

When Randy Orton was kicked out of Evolution shortly after winning the WWE title, he suffered a similar fate. For months, Orton had developed his cocky legend killer character to the point that fans began to like it. When the time came to pull the trigger on Orton's inevitable babyface run, they placed him on the stage and gave him a Rock-esque promo to cut. It didn't work. Why? Well for starters, Randy Orton is not the Rock. He is Randy Orton.

When The Rock finally turned babyface, he did not magically turn into a new generation Hulk Hogan. He stayed true to who he was, and the fans ate that up. This was the character that fans had grown to love. No one wanted to hear The Rock telling us to train, say our prayers, and eat our vitamins.

The more over John Cena's rap character became, the more he got pushed in a direction where he had to fit a mold that was created before him. Cena has since abandoned the throwback jerseys, locks, and chains that brought him to the dance and has adopted the persona of being "The Marine," a role that was initially intended for Steve Austin.

When given mic time, Cena is rarely ever the brash arrogant kid we grew to love. He is often simply too goofy to be taken seriously. It's strange how the Rock can call Umaga a shriveled up monkey penis and it works, but when John Cena calls the Big Show poopy pants it doesn't. It's the same type of sophomoric humor, but it just rolls off The Rock's tongue more naturally.

Then again, I was 14 when I loved hearing the Rock say those things. I am now 24, and I would hope my sense of humor has evolved. Still, when the Rock makes his occasional appearance, I expect this from him and welcome it. When I see John Cena, I would prefer not to see a subpar rehash of places I have already been.

John Cena has had some fantastic matches in his career. Of course Kurt Angle, Chris Benoit, Edge, and Shawn Michaels had the ability to make anyone look like a million bucks, but Cena's recent Summerslam effort against Randy Orton should also serve to silence a lot of critics.

Cena's reputation as a hard worker is well documented. Often I think the criticism he gets for no-selling moves and having a tired predicatable offense is unwarranted, because I believe this is what he is instructed to do by the WWE higher-ups. If Vince McMahon wanted Cena to deliver a consistently better and more diverse in-ring product, I am sure he could step to the plate.

Case and Point: John Cena's injury is not a positive for professional wrestling. It is very much a negative. What Linda McMahon predicted to be a "boom" period for professional wrestling has become a period where the product is really suffering. Those who have enjoyed the most success due to circumstance thus far? The Great Khali and Hornswaggle. There is something wrong with that picture.

Every move that WWE makes right now is critical. Every signing, every release and every push is essential to sustaining the momentum the company had been building over the past year. Every booking, every storyline and every angle needs to be carefully constructed to maintain the relationships with fans who have tuned in over the past seven years to see people who may or may not be on their televisions due to a number of circumstances.

So in this sensitive time period that requires a great deal of focus, what is the WWE doing? A Teddy Long Viagra-induced heart attack and a Hornswaggle/Melina love story. These are two angles that take TV time, and don't build anyone with the ability to draw a dime or even result in a match.

They are building Santino Marella into one of the most interesting superstars on Raw. The problem? On the way there, they are going to further devalue their most underrated talent in Val Venis. Venis has the look, the charisma, and the in-ring ability, yet he is saddled with eternal job duty. What is Marella's ultimate destiny after getting the rub from Val? That's quite simple. He will receive kick-wham-stunner from an inactive Steve Austin. How does this elevate a new superstar? It doesn't.

Triple H gets to destroy Umaga, Carlito, Cade, and Murdoch. Who's next? Well most likely with Cena getting hurt, Orton will be thrown into this match at the pay-per-view and it will be made for the vacant WWE title. It is likely good ole' Trips will bury Orton too on the way to another long meaningless title run, and heck, while he has the belt, let him destroy Ken Kennedy too. What's the point of having something new to look forward to? Right WWE?

Speaking of something new to look forward to, how about Cody Rhodes. Oh yeah, that's right. He is jobbing to Bob Holly. The fans have never accepted Holly as more than a weak midcarder, so Rhodes losing to him on a weekly basis is especially damaging. You think Cody would get a better deal because of his daddy. I guess this is supposed to end with Rhodes earning Holly's respect. Whoopdee shit. I'd rather see Rhodes spit in his face and ask him why in the 15 years he's been in the WWE he hasn't had any real success. Then ask him why he's still going around calling himself Hardcore. In the last WWE Smackdown vs. Raw game, Lawler exclaims, "1998 called, they want their word back." Amen.

Even when Brock Lesnar legit injured Bob Holly, his return to get revenge garnered him no fan support. I am happy Holly beat his terrible staph infection, but that doesn't make him any less boring. Bob Holly never was a star and never will be one. I wish that WWE would wish him the best on his future endeavors, or throw him back on ECW where nothing matters anyways.

If those viral marketing promos are actually for Chris Jericho and not for the new and improved WWE.com featuring old school pics of Dusty Rhodes' valet Sweet Sapphire, wrestling fans around the world need to realize something. I said last week that no one man is going to save the WWE. I take that back. There actually is one guy that has that power. His name is Vince McMahon.

It is up to Vince McMahon and the WWE creative team to build intriguing storylines that make sense, attract viewers, and lead to an even bigger payoff. Until they get that process down, even a returning Chris Jericho is likely to be nothing to get excited about. In fact, he's just another guy for Triple H to run over while we all wait patiently for wrestling's next big boom period.

Chris O offered up his 30 man roster alternative to the WWE

World Championship Division
Sabu
CW Anderson
Rob Van Dam
The Sandman
Steve Corino
Bryan Danielson
Brent Albright
Marcus Cor Von
The Human Tornado

Lightweight Championship Division
Too Cold Scorpio
Austin Starr
Sean Waltman
Jushin Liger
Mistico
TAKA Michinoku
Ultimo Dragon
Matt Bentley
Jack Evans

Tag Team Championship Division
Kings of Wrestling: Chris Hero and Claudio Castagnoli
Jay Briscoe and Mark Briscoe
Joey Mercury and Christian York
The Mexicools: Psicosis and Juventud Guerrera
The Naturals: Chase Stevens and Andy Douglas
Cryme Tyme: JTG and Shad

My fed's roster kinda resembles the original ECW. In the World Title Division there are Originals such as Sabu, Sandman, and RVD. I have guys with technical prowess such as Danielson and Albright. I have a monster in Cor Von, and have Anderson and Tornado in there as heavyweight jobbers. My lightweights are stacked and should provide exciting matches like lightweights in the old ECW. My tag team division is a mix of indy teams like the Kings of Wrestling and the Briscoes, and ex-WWE or TNA teams like Cryme Tyme and the Naturals. If Heyman booked for this fed, it would be able to create a cult following. While it probably wouldn't compete with WWE, it can still be popular on a national stage.

Stephen Straka also gave his 30 man roster
A roster of 30 based on the free agents? Hoo boy.

The first thing I'm gonna do is divide the 30 into groups. 10 slots will be set aside for 5 established tag teams. 6 slots will be for the "devlopers", the type of guys you see winning tons on Heat but jobbing almost everywhere else. Hacksaw and Val Venis for example. Their primary role is to both test the incoming rookies and take under their wings the signed contract that still need some freshening up on the B-show. 1 of the tag team slots will be for this purpose as well. 7 slots will be for the upper-card wrestlers while 7 will be for an X-division.

Tag teams:
- La Resistence; I personally liked their gimmick and they're able to draw heat better than a lot of heels.
- Briscoe Bros.; duh. The only proviso is that they dress up as Mario and Luigi during Halloween episodes. Why? Why not?
- Cryme Tyme; sadly, I never got to see them in any matches aside from squashes but their skits are good for comedy value. Probably most liekly to be the B-show team but again, I haven't seen enough of them to tell.
- Basham Bros.; whatever you're gonna call them, they can be great in the ring if you let them be. Unfortunately, they were used as enforcers, which is never good for your in-ring work.
- Gymini is your "big" team.

Developers:
- Scotty! Even though he's at the tail end of his career, the fans still love the worm and I can see him tearing up the B-show in my promotion.
- Ace Steel; again, getting along in years but still more than capable of main-eventing the B-show. He can also double as a trainer/manager for someone who has a boxing/MMA gimmick given his training ofthe Second City Saints.
- Eugene; it's sad that he never got a chance outside the retard gimmick. I'd probably let him go back to being Mr. Wrestling and make him the heel developer.
-

X-Division:
- Essa Rios!
- TAKA Michinoku!
- Human Tornado!
- Ultimo Dragon!
- Jushin "Thuder" Liger!
- Yuji Nagata!
- Zach Gowen!
In case you haven't figured it out, this will probably be the equivilent of WCW's cruiserweight scene. Lower in the card and don't expect much for English promos but damn if the matches aren't gonna be exciting! Human Tornado gets to be Ken Masters for Halloween. SHOOOORYUKEN!

Upper card:
- Bryan Danielson; DUH
- RVD; ALSO DUH. Robbie V can also do double-duty in the X-division if there's injury or he's not doing anything.
- Mistico; can also slide into the X-division if neccessary
- Big Show and
- Giant Bernard are your monster heels. They can also do double-duty as a monster heel tag team if neccessary.
- Sylvester Terkay; is most likely to have Ace Steel as his trainer/manager
- Brent Albright and
- Monty Brown to round things out

Ideally my promotion would have a Raw/Heat deal with the A and B-shows. The A-show would be two ohurs long so as to give everyone enough exposure.

Karl Belanger checked in with this note on Pierre-Carl Ouellet
Just a quick note on Pierre-Carl Ouellet. He is now a color commentator for the TNA shows on RDS (Quebec's equivalent to ESPN or TSN). He's actually not too bad and way more tolereable than Lawler.

Last week, to my surprise, there was actually a 3 way match shown with him, Christopher Daniels and AJ Styles on the TNA broadcast that took place in Ottawa (not shown on TNA's regular boradcast obviously). He still looks great despite his age and can still work a crowd quite well. I always really liked him in the Quebecers and was always amazed at how well he could move for a big man. WWE wants their version of Samoa Joe? He'd be the perfect guy (much more so than Umaga I feel).

More on This Story...

The O'Rawlly Factor: Things are Looking Up?

Welcome readers to a new weekly feature on Pro Wrestling Pundit. Following our 1 year anniversary which took place September 1st, I have decided to do a weekly Raw report.

Last night, WWE shattered internet rumors that Mr. Kennedy would be Mr. McMahon's illegitimate son. Could this be because of the impending suspensions levied recently? Only time will tell. The only clue wrestling fans have is that "things are looking up." Interesting since thus far in 2007, things have all been downhill thus far.

I personally haven't given a damn about this storyline since it started, and to be honest, I haven't been too into making sure I catch Raw yet this year. Nothing has really grabbed my attention. The draft lottery was a flop, the McMahon death angle was crap before the Benoit incident, and this is just more of the same.

I am happy to see Ken Kennedy not saddled with the stress of being a McMahon for the rest of his career. Family related storylines tend to dominate everything a superstar does until he retires. This is a blessing in disguise. After all, it's Kennedy's gimmick to say his name. Why fix something that's not broken?

The segment with all four McMahon's was just plain terrible, and hopefully ratings will show that the majority of fans tuned out. It's doubtful, but I personally would like to see more W and less E when it comes to my WWE main events.

The wrestling on Raw has a chance of possibly getting a lot better in light of theses suspensions and releases. With the recent release of the only over tag team on any WWE brand roster, Cryme Tyme, Paul London and Brian Kendrick now have the opportunity to actually gain some momentum on Raw. If Haas serves a suspension, this could be the perfect time to elevate Shelton Benjamin back into the IC title picture. Imagine the matches he and Jeff Hardy could have. Is a Hair vs. Hair ladder match in the cards? Doubtful, but it would be more interesting than what they are likely planning.

Yes, Jeff Hardy is once again IC champion, and while it by itself is fairly well-trodden territory, it was the best business decision WWE could make with Umaga likely on the shelf due to a steroid suspension. Hardy is looking better with his short hair, and there are plenty of guys for him to work. Regardless of how I feel about him, he stays over. That is undeniable.

Interesting that he was able to snag a clean victory over the Samoan Bulldozer, as it seemed later on in the night that WWE was trying to keep Umaga strong for his return. More interesting because Jeff himself is now returning from being suspended himself.

Triple H had the pleasure of being the one to dispose of Umaga. Great, he's been back two weeks and he's already killed King Booker and Umaga. Carlito is next, then likely Kennedy, then Orton. And what for? The same tired crap...

As Triple H worked over Umaga with a sledgehammer, I actually found myself sympathetic towards the former Intercontinental Champion. Was the second shot really necessary? Umaga is like a wild animal who doesn't understand. Yes, Triple H needed to do what he had to to protect himself from Umaga's assault, but by the end he was viciously attacking a man who seemingly didn't know any better. As Umaga fought to return to his feet, Triple H lowered the final boom, then held Umaga's head up like a big game trophy. Triple H has done nothing for me as a fan since he captured his first title belt. It hasn't been "his time" in some time. Unfortunately, he has the stroke to keep telling us otherwise.

Triple H, himself, needs to realize what brought him to the dance. He was a strong midcard heel in a company with Steve Austin, the Rock, Mankind, and the Undertaker in the main events. WWE made him and Kurt Angle into forces so that many men could carry the ball. Other than elevating John Cena, I don't know what real contributions Triple H has made to the future of the business. I will tell you however that he killed any momentum Booker T, Rob Van Dam, or Kane could have had as legit main eventers. Now he is killing the next generation.

Speaking of hair, with Jeff Hardy and Benjamin earlier, What the hell did Carlito do to himself? His fro was basically his gimmick. Without any muscle tone to speak of, Carlito is now just a dude. When the recently released Mike "Nova" "Simon Dean" Bucci debuted in the WWE, he had to cut his hair cause it matched too closely to Triple H. Maybe Carlito's doo was a little bit too close to Steph's pubes...

About the only thing really good storyline wise going on with Raw is the Women's title hunt. It sucks because I don't think anyone has had time to give a shit about Beth Phoenix, but I marked out for Candice running in to make the save and then totally pussing out at the sight of "The Glamazon." While he is not the size of Chyna, nor does she have the muscle mass of Jazz, she is being used perfectly, and she's way hotter than either of the two aforementioned former divas.

PWP readers may be interested to know that PWP columnists Dash Bennett and Daron Smythe have worked against Phoenix in the past. Maybe they could add some insight into how she is being used currently by the WWE.

Santino Marella is the current king of raw one-liners. I don't really care for when that arm sling comes off, but in the mean time, he is gold as a midcard heel.

Is Raw GM William Regal on the chopping block for his association with that pharmacy list? John Cena certainly took it to him last night. Cena and Orton's match at the last house show I attended was off the charts, and I've heard nothing but good about their Summerslam match as well. I really feel these two have the goods to pop a decent buyrate for Unforgiven regardless of the current goings-on in the WWE. Heck, maybe things actually are looking up. More on This Story...

WWE Sends a Message

The WWE has suspended 10 wrestlers for violating their Wellness Policy, according to a headline on the WWE.com Website. The story says they will name the athletes after November 1.

According to TheStar.com the following athletes are suspended:

Randy Orton
Charles Haas, Jr.
Adam "Edge" Copeland
Robert "Booker T" Huffman
Shane Helms
Mike Bucci
Anthony Carelli
John "Johnny Nitro" Hennigan
Darren "William Regal" Matthews
Ken "Mr. Kennedy" Anderson
Chavo Guerrero

If this list is the actual list, Monday Night Raw brand is in trouble. They have been setting up a substantial feud between the Champion, John Cena and Randy Orton, and this could make those plans completely crumble. Will Triple H move directly into the title chase?

Raws woes will continue, as Booker T is also on the list. He is one of the top heels and one of the few reasons to tune in each week.

A few questions come to mind after seeing this list. One has to wonder why William Regal is juicing...? He has never had a bodybuilder physique, and lately has been filling the commissioner role. Edge is on the shelf already, due to injury - is he getting ready to return? Is he using to speed up the recovery?

Although this will dim the show with these suspensions, it is something that has to take place right now. The years of abuse of these drugs will wear down on their bodies and their lives will be shortened.

Yes, the WWE is sending a message. This will not be tolerated any longer. One can only hope that the legitimacy of the tests stay firm and that "major players" in the organization are not skipped over just because of their position and their tenure with the company.

-NAPALM- More on This Story...

House Shows Test WWE's Direction

On Saturday evening, I headed down to the WesBanco arena to get a glimpse of "Raw"'s Biggest Party of the Summer. I think that house shows can be a great indicator of things the WWE is testing out or thinking about. So here is a little report to let you in on all the action.

The show began with Sylvan and Maryse coming to the ring. Sylvan's hair is very blonde, but not a bleach color like Flair's. It looks like dude has been abusing Sun-In. Hopefully it doesn't absorb into his brain and make him go crazy, because the media would undoubtedly blame roids. Eh, ok, dude is probably abusing roids, because he looked big in Wheeling.



He wears like black spandex biker shorts, and he is a really ambigious character at the moment. He wrestled good old Hacksaw Jim Duggan, who probably got one of the biggest pops of the night. It was strange to me that I saw my first live show in 89 at the same arena and saw Hacksaw wrestle then too. Duggan got the duke in a largely forgettable match, but there is no denying that he was mad over for the live show. I don't think that translates much to TV, however. Maryse is very hot, by the way.

William Regal was out next, and he got a tremendous amount of heat. Regal defeated Super Crazy in a pretty good match. Afterwards Regal challenged guys around ringside to come and get a peice. A guy behind me told me that he would be more than happy to run in. I told him to go for it. He didn't. He introduced himself to me as the guy who ran into the ring during a local Black Diamond Wrestling show. He took a pummeling from then BDW Heavyweight Champ Nikita Allanov. The man informed me that he was on his way home after the incident to get his gun and shoot the Russian independent wrestler. Now that's heat...

Daivari had a great deal of heat as well. While I don't believe he should be pushed on "Raw", I do feel that he is underutilized. The man's character is a heat generating machine, and people still remember when he was getting a lot of face time with Muhammed Hassan.

He should probably be the Cruiserweight Champion as we speak. He wrestled Aaron Stevens, who was billed as hailing from Wheeling, WV, but we all know better. Stevens actually had a run on Smackdown, but that run was not enough to prove to fans that he wasn't from Wheeling. Stevens looked good, but eventually lost to Daivari. I expect Stevens to break out sometime before the end of 2007.

Cade and Murdoch defeated the Highlanders in a pretty standard tag team match. Not much more to say about that one.

Cody Rhodes entered and cut a pretty good promo about wanting Randy Orton in the ring tonight to pay for kicking his father in the head. Instead he got King Booker who was actually wearing flaming Booker T tights. Subtle hint? King Booker got the victory in a very good matchup. Before the match began, Booker told Rhodes to kiss his ring, but put him over as a future World Champion. I think that's putting the cart a bit before the horse, as Rhodes did botch a clothesline spot early in the match.

Any rumors of a planned push for one of my personal favorites, Val Venis are largely unwarranted. Val was over in Wheeling, but he came out as a special referee for a Candice/Jillian Hall showdown.

The match wasn't bad, and had a lot of false finishes, but I think it went too long. Many in the crowd hoped the false finishes would actually be the end. Candice hit an Unprettier to get the victory. Take that Christian Cage.

Santino Marella was one of the more entertaining guys before getting totally decimated by IC champ Umaga, who was actually over as a babyface. Marella appeared to have injured his shoulder during the match, so don't be suprised if he is not wrestling on "Raw" tonight.

Now for the kicker. I have seen Austin, Hogan, Savage, Rock, Triple H, HBK, Flair, Angle, Sting, and just about anyone you could want to see live, but I have never heard a pop like the one for Cena in Wheeling. It was deafening. There were pockets of Cena haters, but they could not overcome the thousands in attendance wearing his merch, and I am not exaggerating. Often I think the internet is too hard on Cena, as I feel his in ring style is booked by agents, not by him. Still, I couldn't imagine him being that loved.

If his match with Orton on Saturday is any indication of the quality of what their SummerSlam encounter will be, you guys are in for a great match. This house show match was the best Cena match I have seen since he wrestled HBK on Raw. It certainly trumped Cena's WrestleMania match with Michaels.

I would have preferred some Carlito or Mr. Kennedy, but you have to take what they give you. Still, if you are looking to find any indications of direction for the company from this show, the keys would have to be the Sylvan/Maryse duo we have all read about, the expected push of Aaron Stevens, and the capability for an amazing Cena/Orton match at SummerSlam. More on This Story...

Orton, New Pro Wrestling Illustrated

On news stands today is the newest issue of Pro Wrestling Illustrated with Randy Orton on the cover.

The cover story - "Orton Pays the Price in the Ring, And Gains the Fans' Respect" - was written by yours truly and discusses how Orton may have turned the corner with fans after destroying that hotel room.

More on This Story...

Randy Orton's Pro Wrestling Illustrated Cover

The next edition of Pro Wrestling Illustrated (on news stands July 24) features Randy Orton on the cover with the feature story written by PWP's own Brady Hicks: "Orton Pays the Price in the Ring... And Earns the Fans' Respect"

(WWE is making Orton pay for his transgressions inside the ring—and the fans are finally granting him the respect he’s been craving) More on This Story...

Soup Du Jour

What Monday Night Raw needs to do...Well what can they do, honestly? I'm one on of the many wrestling fans who still has a sour taste in my mouth with the whole Benoit thing. But as much as I'd like to blow off Raw tonight to see an early showing of Transformers the movie (yes I am a nerd, but everyone needs a hobby), in all likely hood I'll be at my house watching Raw and eating a Chicken Palermo Salad (went to the store)!

So Already announced for this evening is Santino Morello Vs. Umaga. Barf! Okay simply put WWE, you brought around Umaga as an undefeatable power, but now you have nothing to do with him. If he wins the title what can he do draw Lashley, Booker T, Orton, or even Jeff Hardy to boost up the I.C. title, well can't do that because then Super Cena will have no one to face (which in MY honest opinion is perfect because he is a safer to bet on than to bet on The Steelers beating the browns). So Easy solution Kill Umaga.

Cena, catch the flu or something so the world knows you are not perfect. Now your WWE Title can be up for grabs for against lets say Randy Orton, Lashley, and HHH (summer slam). Well hold your e-mails and text messages..."what about King Booker T" right? Well here is what needs to happen, King Booker gets pick pocketed by Cryme Time and reverts to hood to get even, and then eventually joins with cryme time with thebrooklyn boys to form The Harlem and Brooklyn Connection, a.k.a. the HBC. HBC then Fueds with The Tag Team Champs (next paragraph) and The WWE Champ John Cena who is accused of being a honkey.

The Tag Team Champs Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch will begin to fued with the Hardys more and then London and Kendrick will join in. The three of these teams I can see being this generations or a poor mans version of the Hardys, Dudleys, Edge and Christian TLC matches. However the fourth team will emerge, Cryme Time, whose different style will catch these tag teams off guard. Boosting the Tag division to an instant fan favorite.

If this happens I'd be greatly supprised. All I want is a little variety in title holders. I don't like to going to pay-per-views and predicting the entire card with out seeing a match. If I had my way we'd see:

#1 a new WWE Champ I prefer Mr. Kennedy(when he can come back)or HHH or Randy Orton
#2 Santino Vs. Shelton Benjiman or Crazy or Davari or Jeff Hardy
#3 World Tag Champs The Rednecks fued with the obvious Racial Difference Controversy = Cash
#4 Hardys Vs. London Kendrick Obviously the world is not ready to see Matt and Jeff like the used to be I.E. London and Kendrick
#5 I want one or 2 stables I wanted a DX / N.W.O Fued so bad last year...But if Booker T drops the accent and joins cryme time that would be enough for me.
#6 Less womens matches as the match before the main event on PPV's

And I'd also like to see the Triumphant Return of the Soup Du Jour! More on This Story...

Wrestling Reporter's Journal

Traveling the globe for my magazines, a lot of people ask me all the time who are some of the most surly individuals I've met and who are some of the best. Well, I can tell you that - reputations aside - Randy Orton is one of the most genuine and honest folks in the locker room. The problem he runs into all the time is that he's too honest.

Like when he told that woman he was going to poop in her travel bag if she didn't go out with him. Made sense I thought. He told her what he was going to do. She didn't do it. And she took remnants of his waste home with her as she walked out the company doors forever.

Like when he told the late Mr. McMahon he was going to get drunk and trash his hotel room like Shawn Michaels once did if he didn't get a title shot. I was in the corridor to see McMahon just laugh and shrug it off. I'm guessing you all heard what happened with that one as well.

Orton once told me - and I'll never forget this - "The problem with people, Hicks, is that nobody says what they mean." In a world of backstage politics and back-stabbing friends, Randy Orton is a courageous fighter, reputation be damned. He needs to get a more public face if he is to ever get ahead in this world.

As for the nastiest of the nasty, I'd have to give that honor to Umaga. When Raw was in Wilkes-Barre, PA last week, the wild Samoan and former three count member actually choked out Steve-O from Jackass to the chagrin of WWE executives. Now, I've met both men quite a few times and I can tell you that Steve-O is a legitimate Jackass dating back to well before his time in West Chester PA at the height of his show's popularity. And to have the gall to agree to sign a waver he will not sue the former Jamal for hurting him takes a lot of guts, and stupidity.

Would you let a guy with no command of the English language whatsoever choke you as long as he wants? I'm not sure where WWE keeps finding these island savages and Ugandan headhunters and Punjabi prize-fighters but it's probably somewhere near parts unknown.

That's all I've got for this week. Shoot me an e-mail at bradyhicks@gmail.com and I'll answer your letters in an upcoming column. More on This Story...

A Rough Draft

The WWE Draft is only hours away, and ever since it was announced, WWE.com has been asking, where would you like to see certain superstars wind up?

I have taken it upon myself to look at every wrestler on every brand's roster and suggest what I think would be best for their careers at this given time.

Active “Raw” Talent:

Shelton Benjamin - Benjamin is doing well on the “Raw” brand since being reunited with Charlie Haas. To my chagrin, his singles push was not successful. In time, Benjamin may be able to become a break-out singles star, but until then, I would keep the WGTT in the once-again-competitive “Raw” tag division.

Lance Cade - WWE.com has been teasing the split of Cade and Murdoch much more significantly than anyone else in the upcoming draft. I don't see why it even matters, as The Hardys were tag champs right before them while on separate brands. Someone might think it's cute to split them up, but the last time they did, we saw what happened...in a few months they were put back together. I think that Cade can be a main eventer someday, but for now, let him stay with Murdoch on “Raw”.

Carlito - Carlito is a superstar who is in desperate need of a shot in the arm. I actually have never liked him since he's been on the “Raw” brand, and I think that a move to “SmackDown!” might be the perfect medicine for this cool Caribbean superstar.

John Cena - Rumors have swirled that a Cena/Batista feud may be in the works. For now, I would guess it's just fan speculation. If the feud is to happen, Cena would likely move to “SmackDown!”, and Edge would come to “Raw” to feud with the returning Triple H and HBK. If WWE wants to do Batista/Cena, they will save it for WrestleMania. To have Batista and Cena on the same brand in June seems like a bad idea. If this match is to happen, I look for it to be inter-promotional one at 'Mania, rather than part of a brand split. If Cena does move, I think it will have a lot to do with Vince's son-in-law.

Hacksaw Jim Duggan - Here's a guy you don't think about. Suprisingly not released in the last string of guys dropped, Duggan is actually the type of guy that could experience a career rebirth if placed in the right setting. With better legends around on the “Raw” brand - namely Ric Flair - it would be interesting to see Duggan take a move to ECW with his 2x4 in hand, align himself with guys like Sandman and Tommy Dreamer, and get back to what he did best: beating people up, tough guy!

Kenny Dykstra - The Dykstra-Nitro combination is not working for me, and doesn't seem to be working for many others. However, WWE.com did an article to let us know this is not a fly by night affair. If WWE wants a tag team, send Dykstra to “SmackDown!” and put him back with Johnny Jeter. Give them a freakin' baseball gimmick and call it a day.

Eugene - Eugene needs more than just a change of scenery. If ECW was the ECW we all remembered, I would place him there. When the hostile ECW fans tore the gimmick to shreds, Dinsmore could repackage himself, and deliver the goods in the ring like he did before he was saddled with his retard gimmick. Unfortunately, today's ECW fans come for “SmackDown!” shows, and would respond to Eugene the same way as “Raw” fans do. With indifference.

Ric Flair - Everyone hopes The Nature Boy has a 17th title run in him. It doesn't seem likely. What could change that? The reemergence of The Four Horsemen. Who could be candidates though? Well, as much as Flair thought him leading HBK, HHH, and Kurt Angle sounded great a few years ago, it is not likely the group will be so elite. One proven member however could be Chris Benoit, after a jump to “Raw”. Picture Flair as World Champ, Benoit as IC champ, and Cade and Murdoch with the tag gold. Heel or face, that sounds like money to me. WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Shad Gaspard - Big Shad has a great upside, but is probably not ready to be all Vince wants him to be. Breaking up Cryme Tyme seems like a good idea, but it's probably premature. Shad however should be ready to be a big star by the next draft.

Charlie Haas - Poor Charlie. So vanilla, that getting no reaction from fans is actually named after him. Cheer up Charlie, WGTT might be able to get you and Shelton over enough so that people will remember you as the Marty Jannetty of the team 5 or 10 years from now. Stay on “Raw”.

Jeff Hardy - The IC title is beneath him, the World Title is above him. What can Jeff Hardy do? After single handedly reestablishing the Intercontinental title, and watching Santino Marella single handedly give it less clout than the WCW TV title when it was pulled out of a garbage can, Hardy should take his extreme self to the ECW brand to give it some star power, and take the place of what will hopefully be a departing CM Punk.

JTG - Wow, who gives a crap about JTG? He'll stay on “Raw” with Shad until Vince wants to make Shad into something greater. Then JTG will become Scotty 2 Hotty 2.0, wearing his gimmick even thinner while jobbing on “SmackDown!” each week.

The Great Khali - No one has traded brands more recently than the Great Khali, and no one has less to do creatively than him after both tapping and being pinned by John Cena. You can send him on a World Tour to let Lashley and Batista do the same, or you can just release the big guy. I will say, however, no matter how much he sucks in the ring, he is a draw just based on his size and look. Leave him on “Raw” I guess, but who cares?

Santino Marella - I would move him if he wasn't the IC champ. Keep him, and the belt on “Raw”, but give the belt to someone who has clout or will be a main eventer someday.

Chris Masters - Masters is languishing as well, but his bread and butter is likely to be on the “Raw” brand, as he doesn't seem to fit on any other show. Hopefully he will step up his game in the next year.

Robbie McAllister - The Highlanders should move to “SmackDown!” with The Boogeyman and everything else that should be aimed basically to the younger audience.

Rory McAllister - See Robbie. (I'm Robbie!)

Trevor Murdoch - Stay on “Raw”.

Johnny Nitro - Either let him be a U.S. or IC title contender, or find a legit tag team partner for the guy. I was playing "'SmackDown!' VS. 'Raw'" yesterday and remembered how sweet the guy was when paired with Melina just based on his entrance alone. He may not have gotten over to the company's liking, but right when he started to catch on, they pulled the red rug from underneath him. I say leave him on “Raw”, give him back his girlfriend, and give him something to do. Melina's Women's title run has played itself out anyways.

Randy Orton - Orton is rumored to be Triple H's opponent for SummerSlam, which means an extended stay on “Raw”. His last move to “SmackDown!” wasn't very productive anyways. If I were Vince, I would throw him on ECW, as a brand of punishment. It wouldn't be too harsh, however, as he'd feud with Lashley over the World Title.

Chuck Palumbo - Harley riding Chucky P has no real significance. Leave the guy on “Raw” and see what happens.

Umaga - I'd keep him on “Raw” and prepare him for a new program with John Cena, but that may be all but ruined now that Cena has beaten both Umaga and Khali. Cena/Snitsky anyone? Didn't think so.

Val Venis - Basically forgotten is Val Venis. This guy needs to be more than just enhancement talent, as I have said before. He has the look, the mic skills, and the in-ring ability. Send him to “SmackDown!” and have him serve in an enforcer/bodyguard role for Edge. Play up their Canadian background as a reason for them being together, play up Edge mistreating Val, and then remind fans that Edge dumped Val's sister years ago. Then start an Edge/Sean Morley blood feud over the Heavyweight title. Morley doesn't have to win, he just deserves a push.

Viscera - Who would have thought that King Mabel would still have a job? His only usefulness is to seem like he'd be a contender in Battle Royals. Leave him on “Raw” or release him.

Inactive “Raw” Talent:

Armando Estrada - Bring him back to light the fire under Umaga that makes him a contender again.

Shawn Michaels - Leave him on “Raw”.

Super Crazy - Move to “SmackDown!” to be a Cruiserweight or to ECW to be his old ECW-self. On “Raw” feuding with Chris Masters, the guy is a bathroom break.

Triple H - Stay on “Raw”.

Active “SmackDown!” Talent:

Batista - Leave him on “SmackDown!” to be a major babyface character, until the time is right to pull the trigger on a Cena/ Batista feud. When it seems that Cena has vanquished all the monsters, he will see what it is like to run into an animal.

Chris Benoit - A move to “Raw” and a legitimate purpose would do Benoit a lot of good. Hold up your four fingers (that's wishful thinking!).

The Boogeyman - Stay on “SmackDown!”, be all goofy, have kids like you, whatever...

Daivari - I have a strict Cruiserweights on “SmackDown!” policy. Why, if you weighed under 220, would you want to be anywhere else? Leave him.

Deuce - Leave him.

Domino - Leave him.

Edge - Leave him for now. As I said, some type of shake up before WrestleMania setting up Edge/Triple H and Batista/Cena sounds like a good idea, but it's too soon.

Finlay - Finlay has a lot of momentum on the “SmackDown!” brand that could be lost in another setting. I would leave him.

Funaki - Cruiserweight, stay on “SmackDown!”.

Chavo Guerrero - Kerwin White? Stay on “SmackDown!”

Matt Hardy - If people want a Matt Hardy push, it will have to come on ECW. He is not good enough to main event on “Raw” or “SmackDown!”. He may be able to wrestle, but he is boring and he can't talk for shit.

Mark Henry - Another monster to line in front of the champ? Move him to “Raw”. He's injured all the “SmackDown!” guys, and Henry/Edge isn't exactly a money match.

Kane - A Kane/Edge program would not be too bad, but they may have missed the bus on Kane being pissed about Edge's opportunistic MITB win over his brother. I think he should stay put however, because “SmackDown!”is his best chance of another World Title run before he retires.

Brian Kendrick - Stay on “SmackDown!”.

Paul London - Stay on “SmackDown!”.

The Miz - You don't matter to anyone, so either die or stay on “SmackDown!”

Shannon Moore - Cruiser, stay on “SmackDown!”

Jamie Noble - Cruiser, stay on “SmackDown!”.

Montel Vontavious Porter - U.S. Champ? Stay on “SmackDown!” .

William Regal - Stay on “SmackDown!”

Dave Taylor - Stay on “SmackDown!”

Jimmy Wang Yang - Cruiser, Stay on “SmackDown!”

Inactive “SmackDown!” Talent:

Gregory Helms - Breaks the Cruiser policy. He had the longest Cruiserweight run EVER, and he's done about all he can do there. Send him to “Raw” as an IC title contender, possibly as a babyface to feud with Johnny Nitro.

Mr. Kennedy - He's going to have a score to settle with Edge. Leave him on “SmackDown!” .

King Booker - Move to “Raw” to feud with Cena or my wishful new Horsemen faction.

Rey Mysterio - With Batista and possibly a turned Mr. Kennedy, Rey is the babyface fuel that drives “SmackDown!”. That is until Batista turns heel and John Cena moves to the brand.

The Undertaker - The most controversial decision? Move him to “Raw”. When he is healthy, he will give Umaga, Khali, and other's someone to feud with, and if Cena does leave “Raw”, he will give them the babyface they need to keep drawing kids.

Active ECW Talent:

Elijah Burke - This guy could be money everywhere. I would have to look at the big picture to see where he should end up. He will probably stay put to give ECW some needed star power.

CM Punk - Move to “SmackDown!” to feud with MVP.

Marcus Cor Von - Move to “Raw”.

Tommy Dreamer - Stay put.

Bobby Lashley - Stay put.

Balls Mahoney - Stay put.

Brett Major - Stay put.

Brian Major - Stay put.

Nunzio - Stay put.

Stevie Richards - Stay Put.

The Sandman - Stay Put.

Snitsky - I guess they are moving him to “Raw” to be Cena's next opponent, but Mark Henry makes a lot more sense, and Snitsky and Lashley have some unfinished business. I would keep him on ECW.

Matt Striker - Stay Put.

Kevin Thorn - A better choice for a Cena feud than Snitsky, but not as good as Mark Henry. Stay put for now, but be ready to break out by this time next year.

Inactive ECW Talent:

Hardcore Holly - Stay Put.

WWE Divas - Here is my policy. If they can wrestle, put them on “Raw”. If they can't, divide them between “Raw” and “SmackDown!”. Maria and Torrie Wilson are taking up space that could be occupied by Jillian Hall and perhaps Michelle McCool.

Referees, Ring Announcers, Commentators - No one gives a shit, so don't waste time moving them.

My mind is subject to change, as I have not yet really looked at a final roster of these brands based upon the moves that I have made. I do know that I gave ECW some more star power and a shot in the arm. I took some good wrestlers off of “Raw”, but gave them a few talented workers and the possibility of a Horsemen stable to counteract the John Cena/Hogan-esque downing of the monsters that WWE seems to want to do right now.

I gave Edge some decent guys to feud with, although there is an assumption that somehow Edge and Mr. Kennedy will move to “Raw”, and John Cena will move to “SmackDown!” to feud with a heel Batista, both before WrestleMania, giving “Raw” Taker, HBK, HHH, Edge, Benoit, Flair while “SmackDown!” has Cena, Batista, Kennedy, Punk, Carlito, Mysterio, MVP. ECW becomes a bit stronger with Lashley, Orton, Burke, and The Hardys.

As far as real predictions go, I don't really have any. My only real prediction for the draft is this: No matter who gets moved where, I think “SmackDown!” is going to get raped hardcore.
More on This Story...