From the Vault: Lugerman

It's my birthday and I'll post what I want to... The following is a parody of Eminem's "Superman." It was originally posted on 3/28/03, the week before WrestleMania XIX which featured the last Rock/Austin showdown as well as Lesnar/Angle.

Mmmhh
You high baby?
Cause you are gonna have to be for this one
You want me to tell you somethin?
Too Bad, Listen Anyways
I know what you wanna hear...



I know you want me back
I want to come back too
I know you love me baby
I think I love you too
I'm here to save this thing
Let me back in the ring
Ratings will grow I tell you
Let my return unfurl
You know you want me baby,
You know I want you too,
They call me Lugerman,
I'm here to rescue you,
I wanna save you fans,
Here's Flexy Lexy's Plan...

They call me Lugerman
Leapfrog Flair in a single bound
I'm out of work now
Got no ring to bump in now
Cause WWA doesn't really count
In the scheme of things
Even though it's got Sting
A WWE Ring
It makes me sing
Lugerman here to say Bling Bling
You can jump on Luger's Dingaling
Shoot from the hip
Cut to the chase
I'll tell Hulk Hogan to his face
No Political Games
Based on Names
ever since I heard smarks say workrate
I'm a different man
Get on my back
I'll grab your face
You'll feel my rack
Take the forearm
Take your bumps flat
Total Package gonna whoop your ass
You won't sell, I'll make you sell
I won't sell?, Hey, oh well...
That's just swell, far as I can tell
You Job to me or GO TO HELL
Am I over enough to main event
It doesn't matter, go get bent
What you don't like hearing lexy vent
I'll get with your bitch and pitch a tent
The one thing about this rhyme
WWE signs names all the time
Saturday through Sunday Monday
This Sunday why not mine
It's Wrestlemania time
Wouldn't I be a nice suprise
I bulked up specifically to catch Vince's eye

Cause I can't be your Lugerman
Can't be your Lugerman
Can't be your Lugerman,
Can't be your Lugerman,
I can't be your Lugerman,
Can't be your Lugerman,
Can't be your Lugerman,
Your Lugerman, your Lugerman...

Don't get me wrong,
I love The Rock
It's no secret,
I want to suck his cock
Can't we fuck?
Stone Cold says what?
That's the way a good catch phrase goes,
It's not the end,
I'll be back again,
I'll go to every indy show scouts attend,
Never know what kind of shape i'll be in,
That's how I plan to get to the fed,
Vince has to want me back,
I love Triple H,
I could be in that stable with him and Naitch,
Batista disappeared without trace,
And Randy Orton is hurt,
Oh hell you put me in the place of Kurt,
I could work Brock Lesnar oh,
On the biggest stage of them all a sold out show
Wrestlmania Ten wasn't that long ago
I headlined then and jobbed to Yoko
The one thing about this rhyme
WWE signs names all the time
Saturday through Sunday Monday
This Sunday why not mine
It's Wrestlemania time
Wouldn't I be a nice suprise
I bulked up specifically to catch Vince's eye

Please Let Me Be Your Lugerman
Let me be your Lugerman
One more time your Lugerman
Your Lugerman, Your Lugerman